Can you believe my FMIL asked me to wear HER wedding dress?!?

[IndiBlue]

I''m in SHOCK! Complete SHOCK!

My FI is her only child and so she''s treating me as if I''m her daughter

. She gave E the center diamond for my ring and now she''s offering me her wedding dress! I almost don''t know how to say!

All I know of the dress is that back when she wore it (1977) there was nothing like it! She said he felt like a Queen in it- She didn''t have any pictures to show me last night, but is going to get it out of storage for me to try on.

She did say the choice was mine to make as to wheather or not I wear it, but I almost feel like it would be wrong for me to turn her down. I''m reserving judgement until I see it and put it on. Hopefully, even if it''s not something I can wear as is I''ll be able to modify it enough to make it something I like.

But....WOW!

 

[Momoftwo]

If it''s like most dresses from the 70''s and early 80''s, expect lots of lace, maybe a high neck and full skirt. Who knows though? Will she let you modify it? It could be interesting.

 

[IndiBlue]

I hope so! Otherwise- I''m not sure that I''ll really consider it.

I''ve never even seen a dress from the 70''s so I have NO CLUE as to what to expect. I know it had 5+ ft. train.

 

[widget]

What a sweet gesture! Count your blessings that you have such a loving and supportive MIL!!

Do post pictures if you can...it would be fun to see it, even if you decide (likely, I bet) that you don''t want to wear it on YOUR big day...

widget

 

[blodthecat]

It''s really nice that you have a good relationship with her, but I''m going to be amazed if the dress is your taste.

Tell her it''s gorgeous, but no quite what you had in mind!

Good luck

blod

 

[Lorelei]

I too wonder if the dress would be your taste, they did tend to be high waisted and lacy ( well here in England!) Perhaps if the dress isn't going to be suitable and can't be made over, what about maybe wearing her veil if she still has it and you like it? That might be a good compromise? I am sure she won't be hurt if you say no, she sounds like a loving lady who is trying to welcome you into the family with love and special treatment, as you say, she treats you like a daughter she will know how important wedding dresses are and will want you to be happy above all else.

 

[Jelly]

Dresses can be modified drastically. Even if it''s ugly, you can take it to a good dressmaker and have them use the material to make you a brand new dress.

That''s wonderful that she''s so supportive, but I would be nervous too!

 

[AndyRosse]

What a wonderful gesture by your FMIL! Please post pics of the dress, and I will cross my fingers that it is something you can work with to wear! But I''m glad that she is leaving the decision up to you, because otherwise I would be really nervous

 

[flopkins]

how exciting!!!! you must update us on the dress and post pics when you can!

 

[FireGoddess]

Well, if you like it, or most of it

, you''re set!

If you don''t, you might want to practice saying this: "I appreciate your gesture so much...but I''m going to go with my heart - I have dreamed about this day for a long time, as I''m sure you can appreciate, and I''ve always wanted my dress to be XXXX - so I hope you''re not offended that I''m going to stick with that."

 

[Rebemdee]

Or, if you really don''t like it, maybe you could ask her if you could use part of the dress to make a veil or a small shrug or jacket? Or ask her if you can use it to make the pillows for the rings, or part of the chuppah, or something for the wedding. That way her dress is still involved and used, but for something other than on your body!

 

[MelissaSue]

Awww. Thats so sweet of her! She must REALLY adore you.

 

[rms]

I love the idea of using a piece of the dress to make something you can use for your wedding if the dress style doesn''t suit your taste. I always think about how nice it would be to use the fabric from my dress for something like that down the road.

 

[AGBF]

Here is one shot of a 1977 gown.

 

[AGBF]

...and here is another shot of the same gown.

 

[MissAva]

Are ya''ll close to the same size? What if it flat out does not fit?

Another option would be to use the pattern of her dress, lace beading whatever as the pattern for your wedding cake.
Either way congrats it sounds like you and FMIL have really hit it off!!!!

 

[Momoftwo]

My MIL has always been very good to me, but never offered her wedding dress. I don''t know if she even still has it. She''s never mentioned it and hers is from the mid 50''s. In ''81 when I got married, it wasn''t what I wanted. I know because I''ve seen pictures of it. My dress bought in early ''81 had cap sleeves and a round neckline, but not alot of lace. My sister''s had a high neck, long sleeves and lots of lace a couple of years later. The biggest difference with today''s dresses tends to be the neckline and fabrics. The funny thing is, like big hair (and feathered like Farrah''s), we thought that it was all fashionable and it was at the time. She said it was your choice so take her at her word.

 

[moon river]

It''s so good to start hearing about good MILs. There have been so many bad ones(SDL

I thought maybe things were on their way up. Sorry she''s back to her old tricks. I miss PM''s

)that it does my heart good to hear stories like yours. I have my own ''Monster in Law'' to be also.

 

[IndiBlue]

You know the funny thing is that up until now, my FMIL has kind of kept me at an arms length. At one point she was really close to one of my FI''s girlfriends and it turned into a toxic relationship for both him and her so I think she kind of wanted to make sure that I would be around.

I appreciate her more now (especially in the last 3 weeks) because of her complete acceptance of me. We don''t have a lot in common. Her family is much more affluent then mine- not to mention the cultural/ racial differences between us. I am sincerelly confident that she and I will have a great relationship from here on.


*I know that she was close to my size back then- She''s a bit taller then me- which is Ok. She said it was a size 8/10. In the chest I''m a 4/6, hips and butt I''m deffinately a 8/10. -So hopefully (if I like it-cross your fingers) I should be able to tailor it to me!

 

[decodelighted]

I think your FMIL''s offering, but not EXPECTING you to wear it is a wonderful gesture. FYI - my sister modified my mother''s 60''s era dress slightly in order to wear it for her wedding. I think she just had sleeves cut off & hemmed it slightly, cleaned it and replaced some beads. It was gorgeous on both of them ... but a little different ... that might work for you if some parts appeal to you ... just make sure she''s okay with alterations before proceeding!

 

[monarch64]

20 or 30 (or more) years from now, if I offered my dress to one of my hypothetical son''s fiancees, I don''t think I would have a problem with her re-styling it to fit her own taste, if she even decided to use it. Indieblue, hopefully your FMIL feels this way too, because I have a strong feeling that you will have to at least make minor changes if you decide to wear it. My advice would be to be very positive about it, whether you like and decide to wear it or not. (As I''m sure you will!) I just got the chance to actually think about how I would handle the situation. You are so lucky! I''ve only been married a couple of years, and we don''t have any children yet, but my FDIL would have to be super SPECIAL for me to offer her my beloved dress! I hope everything turns out well for you, please post pics if you are able to at some point!

 

[IndiBlue]

Date: 2/20/2006 8:38:11 PM
Author: monarch64
20 or 30 (or more) years from now, if I offered my dress to one of my hypothetical son''s fiancees, I don''t think I would have a problem with her re-styling it to fit her own taste, if she even decided to use it. Indieblue, hopefully your FMIL feels this way too, because I have a strong feeling that you will have to at least make minor changes if you decide to wear it. My advice would be to be very positive about it, whether you like and decide to wear it or not. (As I''m sure you will!) I just got the chance to actually think about how I would handle the situation. You are so lucky! I''ve only been married a couple of years, and we don''t have any children yet, but my FDIL would have to be super SPECIAL for me to offer her my beloved dress! I hope everything turns out well for you, please post pics if you are able to at some point!

Awe! Thanks Monarch!

I do feel very honored that she would even offer. And we''ve only been engaged for about 4 weeks! Ev is at her house right now and when I was there last night she was searching desperatly to find a picture of it so hopefully he''ll come home with one.

I AM SO STOKED!