Cancelled engagement - what to do with the loose stone?

[WillyDiamond]

The more I think about it and read the post here, which are all good and well thought out…….I would sell it, even at a loss. First, I don’t want the memory of the broken engagement staying with me. Second, if the OP keeps the stone, then he/she has some ongoing costs here…….It should be insured, so that will cost money for some infinite amount of time, and while the diamond is stuck in a drawer and the OP does not have the cash to invest, there is what is called an “opportunity” cost, because he/she could have invested the money at some guaranteed rate and made some money. Even if diamond prices go up in the future, he/she will probably not gain from this.

If this couple was for example living together, would the OP keep any of the other persons clothing or other personal items that did not belong to him/her? I think they would be returned and would not be around a dwelling to remind oneself of the broken engagement.

OP, consider yourself ahead in the game. I sometimes read, and is often not the case, the other person keeps the ER because it was a “gift”. Sure, it is contingent on a marriage, but I do read some cases where the ER did not come back, and this is really messy.

EDIT: I just asked my wife what she thought of this predicament, I had her read the OP’s original post and all the posts on this thread. She said she would not like this stone/ER because it ”did not have her in mind when bought”. An ER ring is a very important and emotional object, it is not like buying a sweater for someone for Christmas and she did not like the style or fit.

I stand by my opinion. OP. Good luck.

 

[AprilBaby]

The difference is the OP wore the clothes and belongings but never wore the diamond. I would take it in a heartbeat!

 

[denverappraiser]

Is there a place I could find the current Rapaport price or anyone so kind with access to share what it is currently for a 1.5ct E VVS1? I'll compare it back to what it was at the time of purchase for an idea.

Rapaport is a terrible metric for deciding what a stone is 'worth'. You know what it cost on a particular date and if you bought it here, you can use the same parameters to search for a superficially similar stone NOW. You might even be able to find one with the exact same dealer. Again, neither of these is a measure of what you can expect on resale, but it will give you a basis for how asking prices from that dealer have changed over time.

Most appraisers are subscribers to Rap and can tell you what the current list says as a function of an appraisal if you decide you want one. They're usually experienced in dealing with GIA as well if you want to send it in for an update.

 

[chere]

I would sell it, even at a loss.

+1 my investments are doing very well right now.

 

[lessizmore]

Thank you all for sharing your thoughts. Sorry I haven't gotten back sooner.

From the sounds of it, I should probably expect quite a cut if I tried to ask the jeweller to take it back unless they have a return policy (and worse if I tried to resell it privately) - though also dependent on the price I paid and the current market price.

Is there a place I could find the current Rapaport price or anyone so kind with access to share what it is currently for a 1.5ct E VVS1? I'll compare it back to what it was at the time of purchase for an idea.

I lost many nights of sleep looking for the ideal stone at the time, so I have a feeling that if it does not make monetary sense to return it then I won't be keen to. As much as it was about the particular person who was meant to receive it, choosing this stone was also about what I wanted to give my life-long partner (whoever it is). Emotionally I wouldn't mind keeping it for future use EXCEPT for the notion which a number of you have mentioned - about the future receiver receiving a stone that was selected for someone else (I'd probably have a similar feeling of unease). However, other than the fact of it being a round diamond, the ring design would be bespoke to the special receiver of the future.

I certainly wouldn't lie about it, but what's the ethical way of going about this if I chose to keep it for future use? It would seem weird to volunteer the information upon presenting the stone. To say it only when asked would also sound bad. Presumably the only way to tell that it's a stone purchased for a previous relationship is the GIA certificate that's dated a while back. Is the only way for this to be okay if the receiver didn't mind either way? I'd be interested to hear your thoughts.

Stemming from the above, if I resell the stone now, the GIA certificate is almost a year's old now too. How would new buyers (such as yourselves) see this?

As for getting a diamond/ring for myself, I'm not the type to sport jewellery so I will give that a pass.

Thanks a lot for sharing. It's been very insightful.

You can send it to GIA and get new evaluation. You can find out more at their website https://www.gia.edu/submit-a-gem-duplicate

 

[RunningwithScissors]

Years in the future, when you are in a new relationship with a person whom you want to marry, you may be in a completely different financial situation and the ring may no longer feel like it fits.

For me, personally, I like my ring to reflect the financial position of my partner and I as a couple at that time, and our lifestyle, and be in keeping with our social circle. (I'm not talking about "keeping up with the neighbors" I am talking about the way one's environment and peers influence our sense of "normal" and our preferences.)

Let's say it takes you 5 - 10 years to find "the one." In that time, your salary/finances may have doubled and your social circle goes from 1.5 ct rings being "the norm" for engagement to 3 ct being the norm. While you certainly don't have to do what people around you in your age group are doing, it may influence your expectations/desires/preferences.

For me, personally, I've watched my peer group go up approximately a 0.5 - 1.0 carat size with each decade of life. For example, those of us who got engaged in our 20's chose 1 cts, those engaged in our 30's chose 1.5 cts, in our 40's 2 cts, 50's and over 3+ carats. Of course that is very specific to my geographic region/socioeconomic group, but you get the idea.

I am NOT saying this is right for everyone. But having diamonds grow as our finances grow is something I see all around me IRL and not just on PS.