Carat Weight...

[Brown.Eyed.Girl]

I just read BF the responses from this thread, and the question about whether you're planning on getting an engagement gift for your FI - his response:

"The last thing I want after blowing all that money on an engagement ring is for you to go out and get ME a huge, expensive gift. In the end, it's not your money, it's going to be OUR money that you're spending" (not said meanly, but rather jokingly...and yet, he's being sincere too!)

He's rather very financially conscious

EDIT: To answer the question: I would definitely want to get him something, but he's pretty minimalist when it comes to possessions...on the other hand, he LOVES to travel - so I'd love to give him a gift along those lines, like a surprise trip before the wedding if we can get work schedules to work out

 

[lala2332]

Date: 12/7/2008 5:40:06 PM
Author: sammyj

Date: 12/7/2008 4:54:02 PM
Author: LaurenThePartier


I have to ask, are you ladies who are asking for such large engagement rings giving your SO an engagement gift in return? A motorcycle, watch, or TV or something?

I''m not asking for a larger e-ring but my BF asked for a dog! I''ve never ever had a dog and he''s probably the world''s biggest dog lover. We''ve been looking for a breed that will fit both of our needs

.

Not to threadjack, Good luck finding a breed that works for you! Animalplanet.com has a quiz that helps you select some breeds that might interest you...I wouldn''t depend on it solely or anything, but it helps find some breeds that may not have been on your radar before

http://animal.discovery.com/breedselector/dogselectorindex.do

 

[purselover]

Date: 12/7/2008 4:54:02 PM
Author: LaurenThePartier
Mine is a .71 ct. Asscher and I love it! I have small-ish fingers at 4.75, and with the halo, it has good presence on my hand.


I have to ask, are you ladies who are asking for such large engagement rings giving your SO an engagement gift in return? A motorcycle, watch, or TV or something?


I just think that the engagement ''tradition'' has become so incredibly one-sided (and HEAVILY weighted financially in our favour), and in an environment where women are making as much, or nearly as much money as men, I feel like the one-sidedness of the whole engagement process really isn''t fair, any longer.

since we share finances I feel like an engagement ring is something we are both paying for, and we both agree on the size so it''s not like I''m demanding something he thinks is outrageous. I prob won''t get him an engagement gift per say but I will get him something nice for graduation/first job offer which will most likely be around the same time as the ring

 

[Prinny]

we have looked at rings on a few different occasions and the size that the SO is leaning towards is between 1.5-2.0 cts. we have been together for over 5 years so he says each year we''re together, the ct size gets bigger haha

 

[laughwithme]

I have tried on a .75 and 1.0 and 1.15.... my finger size is 5.5 by the way. The .75 looked good on me, but I though the 1-carat looked amazing... so B is gonna hunt down something in that region, 0.95-1.05.

 

[Ms.Goggles]

Ours is a 1.53 rb. My ring size is 4.75. We're from Chicago- our social circle has both larger & smaller.

 

[dec2410]

depending on what kind of setting we''re gonna go with, i think my center stone will be anywhere from .80 to 1.1ish. if we choose to go with a halo then probably .8 but if we go with a solitaire, then probably 1ct-1.25.

regardless of the size...i''d be thrilled.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Date: 12/7/2008 4:54:02 PM
Author: LaurenThePartier
Mine is a .71 ct. Asscher and I love it! I have small-ish fingers at 4.75, and with the halo, it has good presence on my hand.

I have to ask, are you ladies who are asking for such large engagement rings giving your SO an engagement gift in return? A motorcycle, watch, or TV or something?

I just think that the engagement ''tradition'' has become so incredibly one-sided (and HEAVILY weighted financially in our favour), and in an environment where women are making as much, or nearly as much money as men, I feel like the one-sidedness of the whole engagement process really isn''t fair, any longer.

I completely agree about the one-sidedness of the engagement process and think that an engagement present for him is a great idea. I would have preferred for the ring to be a joint purchase, but in our case an e-present for him was a good way to balance tradition with fairness, haha.

I''m actually glad to see that most posters are very realistic about what they can afford. I do think the e-ring budget should be heavily discussed. In our case my husband''s budget was much higher than what I considered "reasonable" (we don''t own a home yet), so I cut it in half and we worked with that. I ended up with a 1.5 carat asscher center stone. My husband would NEVER spend as much on himself and the fact that he was so willing to part with his hard-earned cash on a bauble for me made me feel kind of bad, actually. In the end, we compromised and were both very happy.

 

[wannaBMrsH]

I don''t know that I will ever be able to "balance" my gifts to FI with the ones he gives me as he makes significantly much more than I do, however, over the course of our relationship, I have given him a gift that no amount of money can touch. That is the gift of style and not just clothes! When we met, my FI, who is 6''5" wore the most atrocious clothing! Pleated pants that barely skimmed the tops of his worn out shoes with two or three shirts that were in heavy rotation! I''ve bought him two flat front Calvin Klein suits and countless other clothing and shoes.

I even had one of his friends tell me that I am so good, that FI even looks "prettier" since we started dating. He even owns a tux! And wears it often, 4-5 times a year! It''s not just the clothes, but the fact that he''s learning to take care of himself much better. It''s okay to get your clothes tailored, and get away for the weekend.

I do plan on giving him a great wedding gift, but I think he''s getting me a great wedding gift, too! I guess since I didn''t ask him for any specific size, I don''t feel guilty about wearing the gorgeous ring he gave me.

 

[aliciagirl]

I thought I would end up with around .7 to 1 carat. My FI always laughed about how women want to be able to say "I have one carat" instead of "I have 0.98 carats." I told him it didn''t matter to me because he didn''t, but he had this complex about getting me a full whole carat. It was kind of silly.

What we ended up with was a 1.43 OEC that came in under budget compared the the emerald cuts I was eyeing before we saw this stone. I''m really happy with the size (though sometimes a little self-conscious about it... I don''t like attention and people saying, "Oh, it''s HUGE) but I think it really looks good on my size 6 finger. He''s very proud that he got to go over a carat.

 

[Thomperchik]

This is a very interesting thread...

I never thought about it, but I work in the financial industry and everyone has a 1ct+ engagement ring. There definitely is pressure to top that, but I’m ok with something smaller. Personally, I couldn''t care less, even though it would be nice to have a ring bigger than a 1ct. I told my FF that I didn''t care as long as it was a good diamond and it was well cut. I also told him that I didn''t want to have any debt in our engagement, so it would be whatever he had in cash. With that being said, I guess he''ll be buying me anything that falls between the $2-$5k range. In all honesty, I''ll be happy since I know it''s coming from the heart!

 

[Bia]

I actually have no idea because I don't know what his budget is. He has shared very little with me in terms of the ring or the proposal. Only to say he was planning on it this year and that he'd welcome a few pictures and names--but that was over 6 months ago.

Given our age group, me 26 and he 31, he might easily be able to spend some money but as far as how much, I again have no idea. I know he has a good amount of savings (we share our finances for the most part) and he already owns a home, so he isn't saving for something big like that. Its hard to telll with my BF...he's being very secretive about the ring...quite honestly, I'm really stumped.

But, secretly I am hoping for something between 1ct - 1.25ct (although, my perfect size would be 1.5ct). When he asked for info, all I did say, as far as the diamond itself, was that it be round and an ideal cut. The rest is up to him. Also, I have bigger hands (w/ very long fingers--ring size is approx. 6-6.5) so anything smaller than 1ct might look smaller on me.

We shall see

 

[Lauren8211]

We already have the stone, it''s an heirloom. Just a tad under 2.5 ct.

If we weren''t so generously provided with this stone, we''d probably get about a carat, or a hair under.

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 12/7/2008 4:54:02 PM
Author: LaurenThePartier
Mine is a .71 ct. Asscher and I love it! I have small-ish fingers at 4.75, and with the halo, it has good presence on my hand.


I have to ask, are you ladies who are asking for such large engagement rings giving your SO an engagement gift in return? A motorcycle, watch, or TV or something?


I just think that the engagement ''tradition'' has become so incredibly one-sided (and HEAVILY weighted financially in our favour), and in an environment where women are making as much, or nearly as much money as men, I feel like the one-sidedness of the whole engagement process really isn''t fair, any longer.

I''m not asking/saving for a larger diamond, but I''m going to answer this anyway.

J and I are going to pay jointly for both my engagement ring and a new gaming computer for him. We talked about him getting something more ''sentimental'' than a computer, but it''s what he really wants, so that''s what he''s going to get. The plan will be to save up for both at the same time, and then we''ll get them at the same time to celebrate our engagement.

 

[Blackpaw]

Im hoping to get around 1.5 - 1.75cts in an EC. Though im not at all sure if i need it that big, i want a custom east-west setting but i havent been able to try any on so im really not sure how big it will look on my hand. I tried a couple of traditional EC solitaires but the stones werent particularly good and its so hard to tell when they''re poorly cut - they were all under a carat and just didnt look right.

FF and I just blew all our savings travelling so we''re starting from scratch again, but i dont mind waiting awhile to get the right ring as i dont want to upgrade. I would get engaged without the ring but SO doesnt like that idea so we''ll wait. And like a few other posters all our finances are joined so he''s not paying for it alone.

We know its a little extravagant for where we live, but we dont want children so we expect we''ll be relatively comfortable. Plus he wants this big ol motorbike that will end up being the same cost (he also has expensive taste in televisions!!) so it''ll all even out. I love how so many people are in the same boat with the motorbikes....trillionaire, italia

 

[Blackpaw]

Im hoping to get around 1.5 - 1.75cts in an EC. Though im not at all sure if i need it that big, i want a custom east-west setting but i havent been able to try any on so im really not sure how big it will look on my hand. I tried a couple of traditional EC solitaires but the stones werent particularly good and its so hard to tell when they''re poorly cut - they were all under a carat and just didnt look like they''ld be big enough for the setting.

FF and I just blew all our savings travelling so we''re starting from scratch again, but i dont mind waiting awhile to get the right ring as i dont want to upgrade. I would get engaged without the ring but SO doesnt like that idea so we''ll wait. And like a few other posters all our finances are joined so he''s not paying for it alone.

We know its a little extravagant for where we live, but we dont want children so we expect we''ll be relatively comfortable. Plus he wants this big ol motorbike that will end up being the same cost (he also has expensive taste in televisions!!) so it''ll all even out. I love how so many people are in the same boat with the motorbikes....trillionaire, italia

 

[Blackpaw]

grr sorry for the double up - dont know how i did it

 

[SuiteLady]

I am planning on giving him a gift (my hand in marriage LOL). I will give him a wedding gift and a better band than what he thinks he will get. Honestly, I have no intentions of getting to that value. We do a lot for each other. I help him with proposals for work which is often last minute and in need of some sort of spreadsheet analysis. I maintain his client database. I go out and buy the gifts for his clients AND his family. I not only purchase for him, but I wrap them. Our home will be my current house. I make the house a home. I decorated a bedroom for his daughter in the house. I help him with his daughter’s clothing and well being. I “make” groceries and cook for him.

I do these things because I love him and I want him to be successful/happy/stress-free. I do it because that is my nature and not for praise, favors, or anything. I don’t complain about it and I think he appreciates and loves me for this.

So, I don''t expect to make him whole on the engagement ring and I doubt that he would expect it.

 

[gwendolyn]

Out of curiosity, how does one "make" groceries?

 

[absolut_blonde]

I''m guessing my ring will be around 1ct. Could be anywhere from .75-1.25, I strongly doubt that it will fall outside of that range.

I WANTED to get him a nice flat screen as an engagement gift... but we will already have one by then as he got a really good deal on a Sharp Aquos. He foiled my plan! So now, I have no idea. I do want to get him something, but he''s not into jewlery/watches or any of that. Literally, the guy would be thrilled if I could somehow buy him a CAT (as in the construction equipment).

 

[SuiteLady]

Date: 12/8/2008 1:03:50 PM
Author: gwendolyn
Out of curiosity, how does one ''make'' groceries?

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=%22make+groceries%22&aq=f&oq=

 

[wishful]

My stone is 1.71. When FI and I first started to talk about engagment in the future I was thinking about the classic 1 carat solitaire. Then we found pricescope and after learning so much we realized he could get a lot more for the money. We found a great stone from WF and cut/clarity wise it met the criteria we were looking for but it happened to be a bit larger than what we were originally shooting for (1.25 -1.5) but he's a good boy and went for it.

Granted we are both a bit older. He's 41 and I'll be 36 next month so we are more settled in our careers & lives and don't have a lot of debt. If we had been younger the ring would have been a lot smaller for sure.

Date: 12/7/2008 4:54:02 PM
Author: LaurenThePartier


I have to ask, are you ladies who are asking for such large engagement rings giving your SO an engagement gift in return? A motorcycle, watch, or TV or something?

I totally agree. He has been the one to buy my e-ring and wedding band (and he bought his own wb -he wouldn't let me buy it even though I offered!!) so I have gotten him a gorgeous Tag Heuer watch as a wedding gift and I have specifically instructed him NOT to get me anything. Even though it doesn't even come close to evening things out $$ wise, hopefully the thought and the effort will amount to something.

 

[BlueSki231]

Date: 12/8/2008 1:34:58 PM
Author: SuiteLady

Date: 12/8/2008 1:03:50 PM

Author: gwendolyn

Out of curiosity, how does one ''make'' groceries?

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=%22make+groceries%22&aq=f&oq=

haha that''s cute.. different slang for different parts of the country..

reminds me of my ex bf who always said he was going to "make ice cream".. "make" meant serve himself an individual portion from the carton in the freezer.

But anyways, I hadn''t thought about getting an engagement gift for the bf. I always thought my engagement gift to him would be ME! That''s what he''s asking for when he proposes, right?

If anything, I''d probably make him a cake or cookies.. or think of something thoughtful that doesn''t cost money. I''m not in a position financially right now where I can afford to get him anything fancy, although I''d love to. (Of course he knows this so he''s insisting that all he wants for xmas is socks and undershirts.

)

 

[mrscushion]

I think I will be getting a cushion of approximately 1.5 carats, perhaps a bit more, perhaps a bit less. My finger size is 6.5, and I think that size cushion looks good on me. All the information that my BF and I have gotten on Pricescope have definitely helped make that size diamond achievable for our budget. I live in Manhattan and I think a carat and a half is NOT near the upper end of the spectrum here; however, I am originally from Germany, where diamond engagement rings are definitely a very, very new phenomenon (I will be the first in my family to have one and several of my childhood friends who live there and are engaged/married did not get one) and are typically much smaller in size, so I am definitely aware that living in NYC totally skews my perception . I am also a bit concerned that whenever I do travel back to Germany, which happens fairly frequently, my ring may seem overly big and "flashy." For that reason, I''ve told my BF that if he gets a setting with side stones (he''s picking the setting from a few that we like) he should consider going down just a wee bit in size for the center stone.

 

[Salix]

I am not engaged yet (Sigh!), but we picked (and he purchased) a diamond already.
I (will) have a 1.13 RB (F,VS2, EX/EX/EX) on my finger when he gets around to proposing. The 1 carat mark was something we both had in mind because it seems to be norm in our social/work circles. (I know, we are lemmings!)

You guys brought up a good point about the E-ring being sort of lopsided financially. In hopes of making it a little more fair, I will be the one paying for both of our wedding bands.

And wow! I am definitely a little green with envy at some of those rocks. I look forward to seeing them on PS.

 

[mrscushion]

Oh! And I agree that the whole engagement ring thing is quite one-sided. My BF and I make the same salary and are in a comparable financial situation overall. We have talked about making the ring a joint purchase, which he did not want because he doesn''t think it''s romantic. I shut up about it for a while, but recently I raised it again and said that I''d like to pay for the setting and he said he would consider it and get back to me

. We''ll see. If not, then I will definitely pay for the next big purchase we''ll make, whatever it will be.

 

[vespergirl]

For me, because I''m tall (5''9") with long fingers, I really liked the look of a 1.5 carat on my hand. I was lucky, though, that my husband liked the look of a 2 ct more

However, we were older and established when we got engaged (I was 29, he was 34) and we both made good salaries. My husband had been saving cash for an e-ring for some time, so we didn''t go into debt for him to get me a stone of that size.

When I was younger (early 20s) I was engaged with a 1 carat ring, that I thought was the perfect size for that point in my life. I guess that I always felt like 1 ct was a beautiful, large ring, and that anything above that was gravy

 

[Thomperchik]

Forgot to mention that FF and I compromised that I will buy him his Scott Kay Sparta wedding band, so that I wouldn''t feel bad about him spending $$ on my engagement ring. I truly did feel bad and at the end of the day, it will be just as much as my E-Ring. Fair trade I believe.

 

[vespergirl]

Date: 12/7/2008 4:54:02 PM
Author: LaurenThePartier
Mine is a .71 ct. Asscher and I love it! I have small-ish fingers at 4.75, and with the halo, it has good presence on my hand.

I have to ask, are you ladies who are asking for such large engagement rings giving your SO an engagement gift in return? A motorcycle, watch, or TV or something?

I just think that the engagement ''tradition'' has become so incredibly one-sided (and HEAVILY weighted financially in our favour), and in an environment where women are making as much, or nearly as much money as men, I feel like the one-sidedness of the whole engagement process really isn''t fair, any longer.

Yup, my husband got me, and our wonderful son! (whom he would not have without me Even though I made a very good salary, my husband made more than twice what I did at the time, so he was more in the position to buy a "big gift." Plus, I think that, especially if you have a child, a woman gives up a lot more in the marriage (in my case, my career, my freedom to move about the world without a child in tow, and my smokin'' hot pre-baby body

), so I don''t feel too bad about getting a nice piece of jewlery out of the deal

Of course, we decided to go with the traditional family route, and I can see doing the opposite if the woman is the breadwinner, and the guy''s going to stay home with the kiddies. Then you could buy him a nice minivan or something

And, here''s the cynical perspective - tradionally, in many cultures, women coudln''t necessarliy inherit or keep valuables or property in the case of being widowed or divorced (it would go back to the husband''s family), but jewels (in many cultures) were one of the things that woman "owned outright," so in the case of a husband dying or leaving, her jewels were the fortune that she could keep to make her way in the world. As someone who sold my old e-ring to help finance a move out of a crappy state after a failed marriage, I was glad that I had received something of value after the end of that relationship

 

[Dreamgirl]

Still_Waiting- I'm kind of in the same boat as you. Sometimes I get a little PS jealous because I don't see myself ever getting a HUGE diamond ring from FF. My dream diamond is at least 1ct. If I had at least that, it would be perfect. But I'm not sure I will get that...
laughwithme- My ring size is 5.5 as well. I am HOPING for around the same size as you. .75-1.50 would be ideal. I have tried on these ranges as well as under .75 and I feel that under .75 is small for my hand. Who knows what I will end up with though.

I think I'd be happiest with a .90+ preferably 1ct
(I've been with FF for 10 years now. I feel I deserve a little somethin somethin)