Catholic Girls-Question for you

[emeraldlover1]

GRR.. type a whole post then POOF, its gone. I wanted to give you the NYC registration for pre cana link: http://flrl.org/registration.asp

There are plenty of classes left between now and september. I''m getting married in September and we signed up a month ago.

 

[mariewest]

If you are currently a member of a church I would contact their offices to get you in hold of their wedding coordiator, or person in charge of scheduling weddings and pre-cana classes. If you are not a member of a church, I would call around to churches in the area and ask them these questions directly. I don''t know if churches require a year, but it may be that they do book up fast, so perhaps that is why. You also have to be sure of certain days that they will allow a wedding to take place (some will not do it on a Sunday or certain religious holidays.) It might also be suggested a year in advance based on the shortage of Priests to do the ceremony. For pre-cana, you have to complete the classes 3 to 6 months before the wedding. Sometimes they only offer the classes during certain months, so you will want to check with that as well.

I think it is just a matter of finding if any churches are available for the time that you want and finding out if you can complete your pre-cana in time. To my knowledge there are no time requirements besides what i''ve already stated, but each church and diceses may different, so your best bet is to contact them and ask. Good luck and let us know the results for our own future knowledge.

 

[gemgirl]

Go easy on Melissa everyone. Our Church does have very strick rules, it''s just that some parishes only adhere to the ones that they''re comfortable with and the ones that are "convenient". There are plenty of rule benders out there! The Church wants couples to have ample time to think about the life long commitment they''re entering into. Not every priest is going to understand or even care about your personal story of how long you''ve been together. Some may still make you stick to the "advised" time and some may not. Ideally, both people should be practicing Catholics and at least one in the couple should be a registered member of the parish they are getting married in. Of course some parishes will allow a couple to register with them at the last minute before their wedding. Is it right? No! Do alot do it? Yup! Both people should be Catholic and both should have had received "the Triad of Initiation" meaning both people should have been Baptized, received their First Holy Communion and very importantly as an adult, received Confirmation, which seals the deal for you as an adult Catholic. Both should also be able to prove that they''ve received all three sacraments with the appropriate documents. Every couple is required to attend the Pre-Cana course. Some parishes may allow the couple to exchange the Pre-Cana course for an "Engaged Encounter" weekend. Is this right? No. Do alot of parishes do it? Yes, it depends on who you know.

As a life long practicing Catholic and half of a couple who has worked in marriage ministry for the last almost ten years, sticking to the rules only helps. It never hurts.

Bend enough rules and you''ll end up in our ministry- Retrouvaille. It''s tough going where we volunteer our time. There are actual rules in our Church that we call Canon Law. Some people may choose not to follow them for convenience sake, but that doesn''t mean they don''t exist.

 

[Sparkalicious]

Depends on the parish. Some churches/diocese, even, require extenstive wedding prep planning, as our does. If you can find a church that isn''t booked and doesn''t require a lot of wedding prep time, then you should be all good. It IS doable ... just not sure if it is doable for you in your area. Check around with the Catholic churches in your area.

Congratulations and good luck! You are a braver soul than I planning in such a short time!!

 

[wannaBMrsH]

Date: 4/13/2009 7:50:12 PM
Author: gemgirl
Go easy on Melissa everyone. Our Church does have very strick rules, it''s just that some parishes only adhere to the ones that they''re comfortable with and the ones that are ''convenient''. There are plenty of rule benders out there! The Church wants couples to have ample time to think about the life long commitment they''re entering into. Not every priest is going to understand or even care about your personal story of how long you''ve been together. Some may still make you stick to the ''advised'' time and some may not. Ideally, both people should be practicing Catholics and at least one in the couple should be a registered member of the parish they are getting married in. Of course some parishes will allow a couple to register with them at the last minute before their wedding. Is it right? No! Do alot do it? Yup! Both people should be Catholic and both should have had received ''the Triad of Initiation'' meaning both people should have been Baptized, received their First Holy Communion and very importantly as an adult, received Confirmation, which seals the deal for you as an adult Catholic. Both should also be able to prove that they''ve received all three sacraments with the appropriate documents. Every couple is required to attend the Pre-Cana course. Some parishes may allow the couple to exchange the Pre-Cana course for an ''Engaged Encounter'' weekend. Is this right? No. Do alot of parishes do it? Yes, it depends on who you know.

As a life long practicing Catholic and half of a couple who has worked in marriage ministry for the last almost ten years, sticking to the rules only helps. It never hurts.

Bend enough rules and you''ll end up in our ministry- Retrouvaille. It''s tough going where we volunteer our time. There are actual rules in our Church that we call Canon Law. Some people may choose not to follow them for convenience sake, but that doesn''t mean they don''t exist.

Wow...I am trying really hard not to read too much criticism and self-righteousness into this post. I guess I will count my lucky stars and thank God that my church doesn''t teach me, my fiance or his children how to be so judgemental. As I stated earlier, in our case, we are receiving a number of dispensations in order to marry with all the Catholic rites. I have NEVER had anyone tell me that doing an Engaged Encounter weekend is not right, or that registering to marry elsewhere is not right, or anything of this nature.

My priest was very moved that my fiance was willing to convert to my religion because he loves me. My priest actually stated to my parents that he was touched by the mystery of God''s plan. That He used me as a vessel to find a lost son and bring him back to the church. My fiance''s intention has always been to convert and these were conversations we were already having. Our intention was always to renew our vows in Church after our DW. We never expected that the processed would be "smoothed out" for us, but we aren''t going to turn it down now that we have been so blessed.

I think in general, the church would always PREFER to have it''s members living in a state of grace than not. For me, when I was told that I would be able to have a Catholic wedding, I was so overwhelmed. I had struggled with accepting that for at least a year after my marriage, I would not be able to take communion because I would be living in sin. I think for a number of reasons, the church would WANT to recognize our marriage and all others by all the other brides who are also taking different paths to the altar.

No one was attacking Melissa. We were simply stating that it was our experience that she was mistaken.

 

[gemgirl]

Date: 4/13/2009 9:57:08 PM
Author: wannaBMrsH

Date: 4/13/2009 7:50:12 PM
Author: gemgirl
Go easy on Melissa everyone. Our Church does have very strick rules, it''s just that some parishes only adhere to the ones that they''re comfortable with and the ones that are ''convenient''. There are plenty of rule benders out there! The Church wants couples to have ample time to think about the life long commitment they''re entering into. Not every priest is going to understand or even care about your personal story of how long you''ve been together. Some may still make you stick to the ''advised'' time and some may not. Ideally, both people should be practicing Catholics and at least one in the couple should be a registered member of the parish they are getting married in. Of course some parishes will allow a couple to register with them at the last minute before their wedding. Is it right? No! Do alot do it? Yup! Both people should be Catholic and both should have had received ''the Triad of Initiation'' meaning both people should have been Baptized, received their First Holy Communion and very importantly as an adult, received Confirmation, which seals the deal for you as an adult Catholic. Both should also be able to prove that they''ve received all three sacraments with the appropriate documents. Every couple is required to attend the Pre-Cana course. Some parishes may allow the couple to exchange the Pre-Cana course for an ''Engaged Encounter'' weekend. Is this right? No. Do alot of parishes do it? Yes, it depends on who you know.

As a life long practicing Catholic and half of a couple who has worked in marriage ministry for the last almost ten years, sticking to the rules only helps. It never hurts.

Bend enough rules and you''ll end up in our ministry- Retrouvaille. It''s tough going where we volunteer our time. There are actual rules in our Church that we call Canon Law. Some people may choose not to follow them for convenience sake, but that doesn''t mean they don''t exist.

Wow...I am trying really hard not to read too much criticism and self-righteousness into this post. I guess I will count my lucky stars and thank God that my church doesn''t teach me, my fiance or his children how to be so judgemental. As I stated earlier, in our case, we are receiving a number of dispensations in order to marry with all the Catholic rites. I have NEVER had anyone tell me that doing an Engaged Encounter weekend is not right, or that registering to marry elsewhere is not right, or anything of this nature.

My priest was very moved that my fiance was willing to convert to my religion because he loves me. My priest actually stated to my parents that he was touched by the mystery of God''s plan. That He used me as a vessel to find a lost son and bring him back to the church. My fiance''s intention has always been to convert and these were conversations we were already having. Our intention was always to renew our vows in Church after our DW. We never expected that the processed would be ''smoothed out'' for us, but we aren''t going to turn it down now that we have been so blessed.

I think in general, the church would always PREFER to have it''s members living in a state of grace than not. For me, when I was told that I would be able to have a Catholic wedding, I was so overwhelmed. I had struggled with accepting that for at least a year after my marriage, I would not be able to take communion because I would be living in sin. I think for a number of reasons, the church would WANT to recognize our marriage and all others by all the other brides who are also taking different paths to the altar.

No one was attacking Melissa. We were simply stating that it was our experience that she was mistaken.

WannaBMrsH, no one is standing in judgement of anyone and I''m not being self-righteous. The question was are there actual rules for these things and the answer is yes, of course there are. If you have any questions about Church law, you can find your answers on either of these websites. http://www.scborromeo.org/ccc.htm or
http://www.vatican.va/archive/ENG0015/_INDEX.HTM or you can search the question and answer section of the EWTN website at http://www.ewtn.com/vexperts/conference.htm The EWTN website is very helpful. Also, emeraldlover included a link in her post for the Family Life Office of the Archdiocese of NY. Anyone can call that office any time and ask any question you might have. There are plenty of lovely, kind, patient, informed people there to help anyone who needs help or information.

My point of view has to be different for the position I''m in. My husband and I have worked in Church ministry for a long time. We have a personal responsibility, one that we accept freely and with a great deal of love, to be different if you can understand that. Still, none of us ever stands in judgement of anyone else ever. God gave us all "free will" and everyone has the freedom to make their own choices. Only God can judge.

My own parish bulletin requests that newly engaged couples contact the rectory as soon as possible and at least a year in advance to sit down with a priest, choose their date and register for Pre-Cana classes. My parish is very traditional and yes, very old fashioned. The one thing I can tell you for fact is that parishes tend to be more lenient the further away they are from any major metropolitan area. That''s just the way it is. That''s not to say that my own pastor would refuse to marry a couple within three months if the groom were being deployed to the Mid East to serve our country. There is an element of humanity in the practice of our faith too.

You seem very torn by a number of things you wrote about in your post. I wish you peace of heart and mind.

 

[LadyBlue]

I had that problem as well, we decided 4 month before the wedding that we wanted to have a Catholic Ceremony, I went to a different churches, and talk with a lot of people. I could not find any one that wanted to do it in less that 6 month, oh well. Good luck to you.