Circumcision

[Dreamer_D]

In Canada we have socialized medical care and all necessary medical proceedured are paid for by the government. And necessary is defined broadly, anything with a proven medical benefit to a person is covered. Circumcision is no longer paid for by the government. So if health Canada is not convinced that it is a necessary medical procedure, then so am I

Neither of our sons had the surgery. And rates in the population as a whole are dropping fast. I think in my sons' generation only about half of baby boys have the proceedure.

My husband is from the generation when everyone was circumcised. Before we had kids he sort of wanted his boys to "look like him". Then one of his close friends opted not to have it done to his son, and another of his close friends told him about watching his own infant son's circumcision and how it broke his heart and was terrible to watch. Those two stories from friends were enough to convince him not to do it. I'm glad because I felt very stronly about not doing that to our sons.

 

[kennedy]

I don't have a boy baby so I don't have a "gun" in this fight so to speak, but to me it seems that there are both pros and cons to circumcision. Some see the pros as more compelling (and yes, cultural reasons, or not wanting to not "fit in" are valid psychosocial reasons), while some see the cons as more compelling or maybe find the act itself horrifying. Maybe I'm weird, but I just don't see male circumcision on the same level as female circ/multilation. So I instantly hate those arguments where oh if you are pro this then you are pro women cutting their boobs off. It is such an extreme comparison it really invalidates the person's argument. Maybe because I work in the medical field I accept that the body we are born with may change, whether it is a preventative appendix removal, prophalatic breast removal (I know someone who had this done for good reason), amputations, and even adult (geriatric) circumcision (yes this happens). So the fact that it is "natural" to have an appendix or wisdom teeth doesn't mean that they we MUST keep them.

Living in the "first world" from everything I've read the pros and cons are inconclusive or a wash. Yes there can be problems, but you can have surgery at that time. It comes down to cultural preferences. Believe me, this is a male-dominated world. If there was clear incontrovertible evidence that male circ has adverse effects I doubt any males would be having it done.

(Talked way too long about this subject!)

You took the words right out of my mouth...I agree 100% with this post. I get especially perturbed when I hear of male circumcision being compared to FGM (which I haven't heard on this thread, BTW, so...good for everyone here!). Male circumcision doesn't completely destroy a man's chance to experience sexual pleasure or make it difficult/painful to urinate, and it's not done with the aim of controlling his sexuality. Apples to oranges IMO, and I'm glad nobody has made that comparison here (and at the same time happy to get that argument off my back!).

I also agree that cultural and psychosocial reasons are valid, but less of an argument for fitting in can be made these days as circumcision rates are decreasing. So as a non-Jewish person, I'm not sure I have a cultural argument for circumcision, except for this: because of the "ick" factor, I personally would not have sex with an uncircumcised man. Paradoxically, even though it's the natural state, it seems unnatural to me because I had never seen an uncircumcised penis until med school. Everyone circ'd when/where I was growing up.

Medically, I don't think there's a really compelling argument either for or against circumcision (at least in the developed world, as others have mentioned), so it becomes a lot more of a cultural/religious/personal decision. Ultimately I think I would leave the decision to my husband, who is for circumcision. But I would definitely ask for a nerve block to be used for the procedure, and I might have it done by a pediatric urologist. Moot point since I'm not planning on having kids, but an interesting thought experiment.

No, male circumcision doesn't "completely" destroy a man's chance to experience sexual pleasure, but there is some compelling evidence to suggest that it does DECREASE his ability to have sexual pleasure. It baffles me that nobody seems bothered by that. Is it because we as as society think that men get to enjoy sex just enough? too much? I realize that men still get to enjoy sex even after circumcision, but why is it okay to remove a part of the penis that serves an actual purpose given that there is no compelling medical reason to do so? As a doctor, would you think it sound medical practice to advise someone to remove a completely normal and healthy part of their baby's body simply because they found it "icky"?

 

[Dreamer_D]

My sisters 4 year old boy was rushed to hospital the other night with a high fever, he was close to convulsions. they couldn't figure out what was wrong with him. Turns out he had an infection in the fold of his foreskin. The drs suggested getting him circumcised.

In a situation like that we would also have our son circumcised because it was medically necessary. But we don't see the need to do it prophelactically.

On a different note, the interesting thing is that women get infections of the vagina all the time -- yeast and other types, bladder infections too, which are in the same general area. We treat it and move on, maybe make lifestyle changes to avoid it in the future. I don't see why men cannot do the same if they experience the rare infection or other issue as a result of a foreskin. Part of having a body is maintaining it.

 

[Circe]

.... On a different note, the interesting thing is that women get infections of the vagina all the time -- yeast and other types, bladder infections too, which are in the same general area. We treat it and move on, maybe make lifestyle changes to avoid it in the future. I don't see why men cannot do the same if they experience the rare infection or other issue as a result of a foreskin. Part of having a body is maintaining it.

Bingo. I happened to know one guy who had issues with yeast infections (he and his partner ping-ponged it back and forth for a while). And, you know what? He was circumcised. (I am the impromptu sex counselor for everybody I know, like a dollar store Dan Savage, which means I know waaaaaaaaaay too much about what can go wrong with human fun-parts.) So he took some Diflucan and moved on - an appropriate measure, given the situation.

While there are definitely situation in which circumcision is appropriate - phimosis, repeated stubborn infection, etc. - I just don't know why it would be the default as a prophylactic measure when those circumstances are rare.

And, on a whole 'nother note ....

You took the words right out of my mouth...I agree 100% with this post. I get especially perturbed when I hear of male circumcision being compared to FGM (which I haven't heard on this thread, BTW, so...good for everyone here!). Male circumcision doesn't completely destroy a man's chance to experience sexual pleasure or make it difficult/painful to urinate, and it's not done with the aim of controlling his sexuality. Apples to oranges IMO, and I'm glad nobody has made that comparison here (and at the same time happy to get that argument off my back!).

I also agree that cultural and psychosocial reasons are valid, but less of an argument for fitting in can be made these days as circumcision rates are decreasing. So as a non-Jewish person, I'm not sure I have a cultural argument for circumcision, except for this: because of the "ick" factor, I personally would not have sex with an uncircumcised man. Paradoxically, even though it's the natural state, it seems unnatural to me because I had never seen an uncircumcised penis until med school. Everyone circ'd when/where I was growing up.

Medically, I don't think there's a really compelling argument either for or against circumcision (at least in the developed world, as others have mentioned), so it becomes a lot more of a cultural/religious/personal decision. Ultimately I think I would leave the decision to my husband, who is for circumcision. But I would definitely ask for a nerve block to be used for the procedure, and I might have it done by a pediatric urologist. Moot point since I'm not planning on having kids, but an interesting thought experiment.

JBS, I was reading your first paragraph and mouthing "Word," because while I'm anti-circ, whenever somebody brings it up in a discussion about FGM, it takes conscious effort not to roll my eyes.

So I was a little surprised that the second paragraph ran so deeply counter to what I was expecting. I'm not sure if I'm misreading here: are you really saying if you had hit it off with a guy and gotten to the point where things were progressing naturally and he performed The Great Reveal, the sight of a foreskin would be a dealbreaker? I'm just kind of ... fascinated. I cannot think of a single condition where a guy could say, "Oh, if she takes her clothes off and X isn't what I was expecting, I'm OUT" and it would be considered okay. Closest I can think of is the one guy I know who tried to claim that push-up bras were false advertising, and, well, let's just say that attitude did not expand anyone's perspective of his depth or his chances with the ladies ....

 

[february2003bride]

DH is not circumcized but he DID want our two boys circumcized, so they are. I was, and to an extent still am, against circumcision, however I don't have a penis so I left the decision up to DH. My boys didn't have any complications from the procedure either.

 

[missjae]

There are two arguments I don't understand.

The first is the whole issue about boys not looking like their fathers. Why would a boy be looking at his father's penis in the first place?

The second is the worry about the penis not being clean enough. I come from a country where circumcision is not practiced, almost at 100%, and have never heard of little boys experiencing penile problems because of lack of cleanliness.

Why wouldn't a little boy look at his father's penis? It's not gross or inappropriate for a child to see their parent in the nude.

I 100000% agree with somethingshiny and HH. I don't have any children but my ex-boyfriend is a single and sole parent to his son whom he gained full custody of a few weeks after his son was born when the mother decided to drop him off never to return again and she had decided not to circumcise. He kept his son clean and he still became VERY infected and ended up HAVING to be circumcised after he was a year old already and it was a complete nightmare as he had already been walking and he had to keep his diaper from rubbing against him. I completely agree with circumcision for the same reasons somethingshiny mentioned and HH agreed with. Without a doubt if I ever have a son he WILL be circumcised. This is such a touchy and emotional subject though and so I believe everyone is entitled to their own opinions, thoughts and feelings.

Also about the boy looking at his father, it is more likely to happen at some point (getting dressed or sometimes fathers will take their small son into the shower to be faster etc.) and is not inappropriate like HH said, just like little girls are most likely to see their mother's nude. Children do not have a sexual mind and any normal, real parent wouldn't even THINK of being inappropriate with their child (*excluding the sick freaks that I know do exist, but that isn't even relevant to this as it is unbelievably inappropriate on it's own) so it's just a part of life and natural.

 

[lizzyann]

My DH and I decided to have our DS circumcised even though my DH is not. Wanna know the reason? One of my elderly uncles was not circumcised and when he was in his 60's he got an infection due to bacteria in there and he had to be circumcised as an adult. That is something I don't want my DS to have to experience as an adult, so we went that route. It's a personal decision though.

 

[lizzyann]

Oh and I just wanted to add, that my DS handled it very well. When they brought him back he wasn't crying and when I changed his dressing, he never cried once because of it. Everything healed up well too. Although, I know a couple of moms who had to have their son's redone a little due to the fact that it healed poorly.

 

[jstarfireb]

JBS, I was reading your first paragraph and mouthing "Word," because while I'm anti-circ, whenever somebody brings it up in a discussion about FGM, it takes conscious effort not to roll my eyes.

So I was a little surprised that the second paragraph ran so deeply counter to what I was expecting. I'm not sure if I'm misreading here: are you really saying if you had hit it off with a guy and gotten to the point where things were progressing naturally and he performed The Great Reveal, the sight of a foreskin would be a dealbreaker? I'm just kind of ... fascinated. I cannot think of a single condition where a guy could say, "Oh, if she takes her clothes off and X isn't what I was expecting, I'm OUT" and it would be considered okay. Closest I can think of is the one guy I know who tried to claim that push-up bras were false advertising, and, well, let's just say that attitude did not expand anyone's perspective of his depth or his chances with the ladies ....

Haha, well my husband has claimed that he would dump a girl if he found out she had breast implants (for cosmetic reasons only), so I guess he and I are kindred spirits. Oddly enough, I've always hoped I could get implants when I got older because I have A-cups, but I guess that's off the table now.

Honestly, I admit it's irrational and a really weird hang-up that doesn't jive with the rest of my personality (I'm very liberal and tolerant of most things, honestly!). But the thought of sex involving an uncircumcised penis, especially oral sex, gives me the willies (pun intended!). I haven't really had the opportunity to put my money where my mouth is (again, pun intended!) because all my serious boyfriends have been circumcised. But I do think I'd be taken aback by the sight of it, probably enough to make a quick excuse to get out of there, and then never see the guy again because I'd be so embarrassed. I'm married, so hopefully I'll never be out on the dating scene again, so I'll never know for sure, but I know myself pretty well.

I came of age thinking that circumcised penises were normal and what they were supposed to look like, whereas uncircumcised ones were unnatural and gross. And that's why I would be for circumcising a son if I had one...because I wouldn't want him to be thought of by potential partners as weird or abnormal. But you know what...if circumcision rates continue to decline, fewer people will feel that way, and it may be thought of weird TO circumcise rather than not to. It's interesting how the cultural pendulum swings like that.

I should also clarify that I don't expect other people to decide whether or not to circumcise based on my own personal hangups, but was just sharing my own thoughts on the decision if I would ever have to make it. I do think circumcision is a personal choice and that there isn't really any good evidence for OR against it.

 

[Circe]

Haha, well my husband has claimed that he would dump a girl if he found out she had breast implants (for cosmetic reasons only), so I guess he and I are kindred spirits. Oddly enough, I've always hoped I could get implants when I got older because I have A-cups, but I guess that's off the table now.

Honestly, I admit it's irrational and a really weird hang-up that doesn't jive with the rest of my personality (I'm very liberal and tolerant of most things, honestly!). But the thought of sex involving an uncircumcised penis, especially oral sex, gives me the willies (pun intended!). I haven't really had the opportunity to put my money where my mouth is (again, pun intended!) because all my serious boyfriends have been circumcised. But I do think I'd be taken aback by the sight of it, probably enough to make a quick excuse to get out of there, and then never see the guy again because I'd be so embarrassed. I'm married, so hopefully I'll never be out on the dating scene again, so I'll never know for sure, but I know myself pretty well.

I came of age thinking that circumcised penises were normal and what they were supposed to look like, whereas uncircumcised ones were unnatural and gross. And that's why I would be for circumcising a son if I had one...because I wouldn't want him to be thought of by potential partners as weird or abnormal. But you know what...if circumcision rates continue to decline, fewer people will feel that way, and it may be thought of weird TO circumcise rather than not to. It's interesting how the cultural pendulum swings like that.

I should also clarify that I don't expect other people to decide whether or not to circumcise based on my own personal hangups, but was just sharing my own thoughts on the decision if I would ever have to make it. I do think circumcision is a personal choice and that there isn't really any good evidence for OR against it.

Huh, okay, fair enough - we all have our things. It does speak to how pervasive circumcision is in our culture, though, if the closest gender parallel is cosmetic surgery for women that adds something rather than removing something ....

 

[mayerling]

Just to clarify, I'm not claiming it's unhealthy for children to see their parents in the nude. I just don't see the need for that to happen so frequently that it would cause an issue.

As for children following me into the bathroom, I have a "bashful bladder" so that ain't happening!

 

[mayerling]

JBS, I was reading your first paragraph and mouthing "Word," because while I'm anti-circ, whenever somebody brings it up in a discussion about FGM, it takes conscious effort not to roll my eyes.

So I was a little surprised that the second paragraph ran so deeply counter to what I was expecting. I'm not sure if I'm misreading here: are you really saying if you had hit it off with a guy and gotten to the point where things were progressing naturally and he performed The Great Reveal, the sight of a foreskin would be a dealbreaker? I'm just kind of ... fascinated. I cannot think of a single condition where a guy could say, "Oh, if she takes her clothes off and X isn't what I was expecting, I'm OUT" and it would be considered okay. Closest I can think of is the one guy I know who tried to claim that push-up bras were false advertising, and, well, let's just say that attitude did not expand anyone's perspective of his depth or his chances with the ladies ....

Haha, well my husband has claimed that he would dump a girl if he found out she had breast implants (for cosmetic reasons only), so I guess he and I are kindred spirits. Oddly enough, I've always hoped I could get implants when I got older because I have A-cups, but I guess that's off the table now.

Honestly, I admit it's irrational and a really weird hang-up that doesn't jive with the rest of my personality (I'm very liberal and tolerant of most things, honestly!). But the thought of sex involving an uncircumcised penis, especially oral sex, gives me the willies (pun intended!). I haven't really had the opportunity to put my money where my mouth is (again, pun intended!) because all my serious boyfriends have been circumcised. But I do think I'd be taken aback by the sight of it, probably enough to make a quick excuse to get out of there, and then never see the guy again because I'd be so embarrassed. I'm married, so hopefully I'll never be out on the dating scene again, so I'll never know for sure, but I know myself pretty well.

I came of age thinking that circumcised penises were normal and what they were supposed to look like, whereas uncircumcised ones were unnatural and gross. And that's why I would be for circumcising a son if I had one...because I wouldn't want him to be thought of by potential partners as weird or abnormal. But you know what...if circumcision rates continue to decline, fewer people will feel that way, and it may be thought of weird TO circumcise rather than not to. It's interesting how the cultural pendulum swings like that.

I should also clarify that I don't expect other people to decide whether or not to circumcise based on my own personal hangups, but was just sharing my own thoughts on the decision if I would ever have to make it. I do think circumcision is a personal choice and that there isn't really any good evidence for OR against it.

Is that really analogous though? In the implants case, the issue is dumping the woman for having cosmetically altered herself; in the circumcision case, the issue is dumping the man for who he was born to be.

 

[Pandora II]

I will admit to being a little taken aback the first time I saw a circumcised one - and thought it pretty ugly... in normal men it's all nicely tucked away.

Just wanted to add that the main cause of infections in infants is due to parents not realising they MUST NOT clean under the foreskin. It's like sticking Q-tips in your kids ears - great way to give them ear infections. Both are self-cleaning and should be left alone. Once the foreskin is no longer attached - happens in puberty - then they should be cleaned. Until then, hands off.

 

[Mara]

to answer the original Q... I was thinking we would definitely do it (more along the lines of 'why wouldn't we'), mostly because it's what I consider the norm (whether or not it is), but I left it up to my husband and he said definitely yes. I didn't feel that strongly one way or the other aka if he was vehemently against it, I'd have been ok with not having it done, but I was glad he wanted it done. He went with the baby, we did it on day 1 and he barely squeaked, and it healed up nicely.

My husband's reasons... and I didn't delve too deeply into these or ask him to justify anything, were that he wanted him to look like he does and he also didn't want to subject him to any potential ridicule from kids in the locker room etc as to why he looked different than the other boys. and while he hasn't seen my husband naked a TON, he will as he gets more curious about bodies, and we don't plan to hide anything from him.

I totally admit to not knowing any specifics as some of the other posters seem to, but I did think about ... what if you don't have it done and then the boy wants it done later. It seems as though it would be so much more painful to have it done later in life vs having him not remember it as a baby (I tend to think of it like getting your ears pierced as a kid), and if it's gone and he never knew he had it, he wouldn't know what he was missing.

 

[megumic]

JBS, I was reading your first paragraph and mouthing "Word," because while I'm anti-circ, whenever somebody brings it up in a discussion about FGM, it takes conscious effort not to roll my eyes.

So I was a little surprised that the second paragraph ran so deeply counter to what I was expecting. I'm not sure if I'm misreading here: are you really saying if you had hit it off with a guy and gotten to the point where things were progressing naturally and he performed The Great Reveal, the sight of a foreskin would be a dealbreaker? I'm just kind of ... fascinated. I cannot think of a single condition where a guy could say, "Oh, if she takes her clothes off and X isn't what I was expecting, I'm OUT" and it would be considered okay. Closest I can think of is the one guy I know who tried to claim that push-up bras were false advertising, and, well, let's just say that attitude did not expand anyone's perspective of his depth or his chances with the ladies ....

Haha, well my husband has claimed that he would dump a girl if he found out she had breast implants (for cosmetic reasons only), so I guess he and I are kindred spirits. Oddly enough, I've always hoped I could get implants when I got older because I have A-cups, but I guess that's off the table now.

Honestly, I admit it's irrational and a really weird hang-up that doesn't jive with the rest of my personality (I'm very liberal and tolerant of most things, honestly!). But the thought of sex involving an uncircumcised penis, especially oral sex, gives me the willies (pun intended!). I haven't really had the opportunity to put my money where my mouth is (again, pun intended!) because all my serious boyfriends have been circumcised. But I do think I'd be taken aback by the sight of it, probably enough to make a quick excuse to get out of there, and then never see the guy again because I'd be so embarrassed. I'm married, so hopefully I'll never be out on the dating scene again, so I'll never know for sure, but I know myself pretty well.

I came of age thinking that circumcised penises were normal and what they were supposed to look like, whereas uncircumcised ones were unnatural and gross. And that's why I would be for circumcising a son if I had one...because I wouldn't want him to be thought of by potential partners as weird or abnormal. But you know what...if circumcision rates continue to decline, fewer people will feel that way, and it may be thought of weird TO circumcise rather than not to. It's interesting how the cultural pendulum swings like that.

I should also clarify that I don't expect other people to decide whether or not to circumcise based on my own personal hangups, but was just sharing my own thoughts on the decision if I would ever have to make it. I do think circumcision is a personal choice and that there isn't really any good evidence for OR against it.

Is that really analogous though? In the implants case, the issue is dumping the woman for having cosmetically altered herself; in the circumcision case, the issue is dumping the man for who he was born to be.

HUH?!?!? I don't even get what you're saying. Can you please clarify.

 

[Circe]

JBS, I was reading your first paragraph and mouthing "Word," because while I'm anti-circ, whenever somebody brings it up in a discussion about FGM, it takes conscious effort not to roll my eyes.

So I was a little surprised that the second paragraph ran so deeply counter to what I was expecting. I'm not sure if I'm misreading here: are you really saying if you had hit it off with a guy and gotten to the point where things were progressing naturally and he performed The Great Reveal, the sight of a foreskin would be a dealbreaker? I'm just kind of ... fascinated. I cannot think of a single condition where a guy could say, "Oh, if she takes her clothes off and X isn't what I was expecting, I'm OUT" and it would be considered okay. Closest I can think of is the one guy I know who tried to claim that push-up bras were false advertising, and, well, let's just say that attitude did not expand anyone's perspective of his depth or his chances with the ladies ....

Haha, well my husband has claimed that he would dump a girl if he found out she had breast implants (for cosmetic reasons only), so I guess he and I are kindred spirits. Oddly enough, I've always hoped I could get implants when I got older because I have A-cups, but I guess that's off the table now.

Honestly, I admit it's irrational and a really weird hang-up that doesn't jive with the rest of my personality (I'm very liberal and tolerant of most things, honestly!). But the thought of sex involving an uncircumcised penis, especially oral sex, gives me the willies (pun intended!). I haven't really had the opportunity to put my money where my mouth is (again, pun intended!) because all my serious boyfriends have been circumcised. But I do think I'd be taken aback by the sight of it, probably enough to make a quick excuse to get out of there, and then never see the guy again because I'd be so embarrassed. I'm married, so hopefully I'll never be out on the dating scene again, so I'll never know for sure, but I know myself pretty well.

I came of age thinking that circumcised penises were normal and what they were supposed to look like, whereas uncircumcised ones were unnatural and gross. And that's why I would be for circumcising a son if I had one...because I wouldn't want him to be thought of by potential partners as weird or abnormal. But you know what...if circumcision rates continue to decline, fewer people will feel that way, and it may be thought of weird TO circumcise rather than not to. It's interesting how the cultural pendulum swings like that.

I should also clarify that I don't expect other people to decide whether or not to circumcise based on my own personal hangups, but was just sharing my own thoughts on the decision if I would ever have to make it. I do think circumcision is a personal choice and that there isn't really any good evidence for OR against it.

Is that really analogous though? In the implants case, the issue is dumping the woman for having cosmetically altered herself; in the circumcision case, the issue is dumping the man for who he was born to be.

HUH?!?!? I don't even get what you're saying. Can you please clarify.

I'm not Mayerling, but I think what she meant was that implants are an alteration of the default state: circumcision is an alteration from the default state; but the two are equivalent (in this analogy) in that both implants and not being circumcised are unexpected. The important difference, I think, is that women choose implants as adults ... and it's a question of adding something, not taking something away.

 

[jstarfireb]

Yeah, I think Circe is right...she was saying it's not equivalent because my husband would be dumping a woman for having altered her body, whereas I would be dumping a man for NOT having altered his body. But, altered or not, circumcision is simply the norm for me, and implants aren't the norm...so to me, both of us are simply seeking out partners whose bodies meet our own expectations for what is "normal." (I hate to use "normal" because it's kind of a loaded term, but I didn't have a better way to describe it). Each of us have our own dealbreakers when it comes to sexual partners. Being uncircumcised just happens to be one for me, and I think that's a valid reason for wanting to circumcise a potential son.

Anyway, we're kind of overthinking things and getting off on a tangent, but I was just trying to offer another parallel for women as well as explain my personal psychosocial reason for wanting to circumsize. Nobody has to agree with me. For what it's worth, I'm all for cosmetic surgery in any circumstance, but that's another topic for another thread.

 

[nfowife]

Just to clarify, I'm not claiming it's unhealthy for children to see their parents in the nude. I just don't see the need for that to happen so frequently that it would cause an issue.

As for children following me into the bathroom, I have a "bashful bladder" so that ain't happening!

Can't wait until you have children....what are you going to do when you are say, out somewhere with your little one and have to use the restroom? Going to make your 2 year old stand outside the stall alone while you pee? Welcome to parenthood....modesty flies out the window.

 

[mayerling]

Just to clarify, I'm not claiming it's unhealthy for children to see their parents in the nude. I just don't see the need for that to happen so frequently that it would cause an issue.

As for children following me into the bathroom, I have a "bashful bladder" so that ain't happening!

Can't wait until you have children....what are you going to do when you are say, out somewhere with your little one and have to use the restroom? Going to make your 2 year old stand outside the stall alone while you pee? Welcome to parenthood....modesty flies out the window.

Ah, thankfully I never use public restrooms!

 

[nfowife]

Just to clarify, I'm not claiming it's unhealthy for children to see their parents in the nude. I just don't see the need for that to happen so frequently that it would cause an issue.

As for children following me into the bathroom, I have a "bashful bladder" so that ain't happening!

Can't wait until you have children....what are you going to do when you are say, out somewhere with your little one and have to use the restroom? Going to make your 2 year old stand outside the stall alone while you pee? Welcome to parenthood....modesty flies out the window.

Ah, thankfully I never use public restrooms!

Well, good luck to you. I'm sure your kids will never see you go to the bathroom. You'll be one of the first in history.

 

[anitabee]

I'm Jewish and an old thread on PS was the first time I was ever exposed to the debate on this topic.

That being said, I wanted to share that I've been to many, many brit milot in my life. I've never since heard a good friend wonder whether they made the right decision to circumcise their child. SO, what I'm saying is this: I think this is one of those things that you will agonize over in order to make the decision, but rest assured that once you commit to it, you will likely be able to move on with your life unfettered by fears about whether yours was the right choice.I have no idea what we will decide when and if we have a son. As Jews, I imagine we will have a bris for our child, but these PS threads will likely be in my mind and we'll do much research before making the decision.

wow! i couldn't have put it better myself my 3-yr-old son is circumsised and really, until i saw this thread, have never second-guessed nor have had any lingering emotions about it. no biggy, really, in my books. mind you, the doctor who did it was the innovator of, apparently, THE no-scalpel method and does, like a gazillion per day. long story short, he's good!

i will say, though, that when both my hubby and i were in the room with him getting done, i refused to look and was definitely a little squeamish/freaked about it. good thing: only takes a minute or two and then, voila, done!

no regrets.

 

[mayerling]

Just to clarify, I'm not claiming it's unhealthy for children to see their parents in the nude. I just don't see the need for that to happen so frequently that it would cause an issue.

As for children following me into the bathroom, I have a "bashful bladder" so that ain't happening!

Can't wait until you have children....what are you going to do when you are say, out somewhere with your little one and have to use the restroom? Going to make your 2 year old stand outside the stall alone while you pee? Welcome to parenthood....modesty flies out the window.

Ah, thankfully I never use public restrooms!

Well, good luck to you. I'm sure your kids will never see you go to the bathroom. You'll be one of the first in history.

Uncalled for. I'm not claiming children will never see parents naked. I'm saying I don't see why it should be such a frequent occurrence that it would cause a problem. For one thing, I've never seen my father naked, even though there were times when he was the only one in the house to look after me. And yet, he somehow managed to go to the bathroom without me tagging along.

 

[Circe]

Just to clarify, I'm not claiming it's unhealthy for children to see their parents in the nude. I just don't see the need for that to happen so frequently that it would cause an issue.

As for children following me into the bathroom, I have a "bashful bladder" so that ain't happening!

Can't wait until you have children....what are you going to do when you are say, out somewhere with your little one and have to use the restroom? Going to make your 2 year old stand outside the stall alone while you pee? Welcome to parenthood....modesty flies out the window.

Ah, thankfully I never use public restrooms!

Well, good luck to you. I'm sure your kids will never see you go to the bathroom. You'll be one of the first in history.

Uncalled for. I'm not claiming children will never see parents naked. I'm saying I don't see why it should be such a frequent occurrence that it would cause a problem. For one thing, I've never seen my father naked, even though there were times when he was the only one in the house to look after me. And yet, he somehow managed to go to the bathroom without me tagging along.

Gotta say, I also think this is a little bit of a red herring ... I mean, I don't think it's a big deal if kids do see their parents naked, but I grew up in a NY apartment with one bathroom, and I have only the vaguest memory of ever seeing my mom in the buff when I was, like, 2, during our last mommy-daughter bath, and am pretty sure I never ever ever saw my dad's junk, unless you count that one time when I was twenty when I handed him the phone while he was in the shower and an unfortunate gust of wind caused a moment that we all pretend never happened. We weren't even particularly body-conscious: we just all ... wore underwear. It was no big thing.

 

[nfowife]

I'm sorry if it came off as snarky. I'm not trying to be that way. I just feel like until you have kids, you can't really *know* what your day to day life is going to be. I have 3 kids, and I'm a very modest person IRL. My husband of 10 years (who I dated since I was 17) has never, ever seen me on the toilet. Eww. I would rather die. But my infants and toddlers? LOL, yes they do. There have been plenty of times when I feel safer having them in the bathroom with me than wandering around the house (even in the "kid safe zone") getting into who knows what. And that is how they learn about going to the bathroom- by seeing you do it and realizing not everyone wears diapers. My 4 year old? He doesn't watch me go to the restroom anymore at home. Unless we are out and someone's gotta go, then you can bet it's me, my 6 year old girl, 4 year old boy, and 8 month old infant crammed into the handicapped stall. And once you've been preggo your bladder will never be the same. So you might have to go to the restroom gasp *in front of* your child. And they will be okay! Heck, you might have to one day go to the bathroom *with your baby strapped to your body in the baby bjorn*. Been there, done that, and lived to tell the story. I just feel like the "when I have kids, I'm never going to...." statements usually only serve the purpose of being able to look back and say "man, I really had no clue did I?".

 

[AllieLuv83]

well this thread really got me thinking and researching, my research stumbled me onto youtube videos of this being performed and I have to say that it is TOTALLY disturbing. Knowing what I know now, I don't think I would have gone through with it with my son. I wonder how much of the video is for shock value, but I will say when they got out the metal clamp I had to turn the volume off.

 

[violet3]

I don't have children, and I don't have a strong opinion on the issue one way or another - i can see both sides of the argument. However, I did have a long term boyfriend who was uncircumcised - he was very adamant that his dad was uncircumcised also and he would never circumcise his child. He argued that if the area was cleaned properly there was no risk of infection. When he was around 22, he did get an infection (he was a very clean person btw) and had to be circumcised at an adult age. It was an incredibly painful surgery and long recovery for him. I often wonder (and he did just have a son) what choice he would make after having the experience he had.

 

[Dancing Fire]

I've heard men say that circumcision lessens the pleasure during sexual intercourse. And, while that is most likely true, I think the pros far outweigh the cons. Besides, who wants a minute-man anyway?? (alright, don't flame me for trying to lighten the mood.)

not true!...a uncircumcised male will out last a circumcised male by an avg of 3 mins...

 

[Dancing Fire]

Just to clarify, I'm not claiming it's unhealthy for children to see their parents in the nude. I just don't see the need for that to happen so frequently that it would cause an issue.

As for children following me into the bathroom, I have a "bashful bladder" so that ain't happening!

Can't wait until you have children....what are you going to do when you are say, out somewhere with your little one and have to use the restroom? Going to make your 2 year old stand outside the stall alone while you pee? Welcome to parenthood....modesty flies out the window.

Ah, thankfully I never use public restrooms!

Well, good luck to you. I'm sure your kids will never see you go to the bathroom. You'll be one of the first in history.

nope,she would be the second. my daughters had never seen me in the nude.

 

[anchor31]

Like Dreamer said, circumcision rates are dropping fast in Canada, and they are even lower in the province of Quebec than the rest of Canada (I read recently that the rates are around 15%). It used to be systematic for boys born in hospitals, but it no longer is, you have to specifically ask for it. Before our son was born, I had no preference either way. My dad is circ'd, but my brother is not; same for FIL and DH. Neither my brother or DH were troubled as children because they were "different" than their dad. I asked DH what his opinion was, and he said that nobody was going to take something sharp to his son's privates. He would teach his son to take care of it and keep it clean. I had no problem with that.

However, my son has kidney reflux and has had several UTIs. His foreskin was forcibly retracted on several occasions for catheter urine tests and scarring has occured. We will see the urologist soon and put our son on the list for the surgery. We figure it's better to do it now while he's young enough so he won't remember it later. Hopefully being in the minority won't cause problems for him later on.

 

[Skippy123]

However, my son has kidney reflux and has had several UTIs. His foreskin was forcibly retracted on several occasions for catheter urine tests and scarring has occured. We will see the urologist soon and put our son on the list for the surgery. We figure it's better to do it now while he's young enough so he won't remember it later. Hopefully being in the minority won't cause problems for him later on.

Anchor, I heard it is better to decide and do it when they are babies than later like you are saying because it is a major surgery then.
I hope his UTI's go away

I had a hard time deciding too. It sounds like it is wash either choice one goes with. . .