comparing diamond size to friends...

[thetoolman]

Hey all. I hope its OK that I post in here as Im not a LIW... but my gf definitely is

I havnt given it to her yet, but I bought my gf a ring this summer with a .7 carat stone, really wishing I could make it a full carat. That was not possible at the time, but I found myself in a different situation now I am upgrading the ring to my the 1 carat I wanted it to be.

Have a question that I think you all could help me with. We are both young (21), and she only has a few other friends that are married or engaged and I know that those friends have rings with stones about 1/2 carat. Do you think that this would cause any kind of issues with her friends? I certainly dont want her to be uncomfortable around her friends, not that I have any reason to think that they would be anything but happy with her, or that she would act snobby to anyone. Just dont know how all that works as Ive read alot on here about having similar rings to your friends.

Just a little anxious I guess... Still really excited to see it on her hand

Thanks for your help,
-Matt

 

[cindygenit]

Personally i do feel a slight tinge of jealousy when i see bigger rocks on my friends but I would never say anything because I really am happy for them. If they are truly her friends, they would never make her feel uncomfortable just because she has a bigger ring. So go get her the 1 carat, please!

 

[HopeDream]

Toolman You''re realy sweet!

I''m sure she''d be thrilled with .7ct , but 1ct is also a nice size.

1ct isn''t unheard of or a rediculous size, so I think it would be quite apropriate.

Don''t worry about her friends, they might have aniversary upgrades sooner or later.

 

[daleysmom]

Of course there will be a bit of animosity towards your fiancee when she shows up with a diamond that is visibly larger than the ones owned by her friends. Human nature. Don''t worry about them, do what will make you and your fiancee happiest. Life is too, too short and too precious to worry about what everyone else thinks. Just try to remain humble about things, and be cordial when your friends make comments about the differences in size and ask you how much you spent. Basically, just don''t answer specifically, but thank them for appreciating that you are in love and getting married. You''ll be fine.

 

[supergirl10]

Date: 10/21/2009 1:10:23 AM
Author: cindygenit
Personally i do feel a slight tinge of jealousy when i see bigger rocks on my friends but I would never say anything because I really am happy for them. If they are truly her friends, they would never make her feel uncomfortable just because she has a bigger ring. So go get her the 1 carat, please!

I completely agree with you cindy. None of my close friends are engaged or married so I don''t really have anything to compare to. I have a 1/2 carrat but given the choice i would have picked 1 carrat but we could not afford it at the time. Not so much because it was bigger but more because I like that one carrat is a nice round number (sorry that sounds really dumb).

Toolman you are such a sweet Fi to be

 

[bee*]

My ring is bigger than most of my friends erings and there have been no problems at all. They were all delighted for her and I wouldn''t say anything about the size of my ring (it''s not huge at all but just bigger than most of our social circle). Get whatever will make you and your future fiancee happy.

 

[lilyfoot]

You''re very sweet and thoughtful to put so much effort into this ring

I''m sure she''ll be very pleased!

Now, first of all, yes, some of her friends may be jealous. However, a true friend wouldn''t say anything negative to your girlfriend. If someone acts catty because she''s got a bigger rock, then you don''t need that type of person in your or your girlfriends life.

And also, I know this is a foreign concept here on PS, lol, but not everybody wants a bigger stone! A lot of women are truly happy with the more conservative sizes they receive. So you may not have to worry about her friends reactions at all if they''re all happy with their rings.

Good luck .. When are you proposing?!

 

[setell]

Date: 10/21/2009 8:49:35 AM
Author: lilyfoot
You''re very sweet and thoughtful to put so much effort into this ring

I''m sure she''ll be very pleased!

Now, first of all, yes, some of her friends may be jealous. However, a true friend wouldn''t say anything negative to your girlfriend. If someone acts catty because she''s got a bigger rock, then you don''t need that type of person in your or your girlfriends life.

And also, I know this is a foreign concept here on PS, lol, but not everybody wants a bigger stone! A lot of women are truly happy with the more conservative sizes they receive. So you may not have to worry about her friends reactions at all if they''re all happy with their rings.

Good luck .. When are you proposing?!

I am one of those that wanted a smaller stone instead of the larger one my FI wanted to buy me. I''m cheap as I rather nicer appliances or a nice downpayment for our house instead then get that 1ct. I got a 0.71 and is mighty happy with it. Plus I may be a weirdo, but I am thinking long term too as insurance wise right now my regular tenant insurance covers my current ring without having to pay extra. If I go past the 1ct range I have to pay more for insurance coverage on a yearly basis which will add to the cost of having the ring tremendously. Personally, I wouldn’t mind what size diamond my friend got as I would be happy she is engaged. I wouldn’t be jealous either even if she got a 3ct while I got my 0.71 ct. It’s just not in my personality too since I am more conservative. Like somebody else mentioned, if they are jealous and make catty remarks then it’s time to find new friends. Serious! Friends shouldn’t put each other down or make catty remarks.

So go out and get her that 1ct you want to buy her and wow her

 

[junebug17]

Toolman, you are so sweet!!! I'm so impressed with your thoughtfulness, and don't worry about a few catty remarks. Life is much too short! And if they're true friends, they will keep any jealousy to themselves and just be happy for her. And another thought, two years from now, even one year from now, are any friends going to care what's on her finger? No! And she's going to be wearing that ring for a long time, so she might as well get a nice size stone now so that she can enjoy it. You did good!!!

 

[jaylex]

Hi Matt! Welcome to LIW!

I'm 19 and my fiance is just about 21. Our engaged "peers" all have stones that are about 1/4 to a 1/2 carat. Mine is .81 but shows up slightly larger because of the way it's cut. i'm perfectly happy with the size and even tho we had originally looked at 1 carat stones, i'm so glad we chose this one.

One of our friends (with prolly 3/4 carat total weight ring) was extremely happy for us and said that my ring was beautiful.. didn't comment on the "size" but def wasn't snippy or anything after seeing my ring.

My other friend with with 1/4 carat solitaire asked to see the ring and said nothing after I showed it to her. Her fiance gave us a "look" and now when we are around them and someone asks to see it, they will walk away.

But in my opinion and experience.. for every person that will act "jealously" towards your fiancee, there will be 5 more who are just plain happy for her

... and probably 2 that have bigger rings than her

.

So don't worry about what everyone else thinks. Get a diamond that is comfortable for your budget and her taste... and you can't go wrong!

Congrats, BTW!

oh.. and we got our ering at Jareds too... they custom made our setting and we picked a GIA cert. diamond from an inde. cutter in their virtual vault.... IMO, they aren't as big of a rip off as some people think. See? they do good work
https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/girls-i-dont-think-i-can-be-list-keeper-anymore.125048/

 

[tlh]

You cannot control others, so don''t worry about it. This is your magical moment, as well as your FF''s. If her friends aren''t happy for her, they are sucky friends. (If they do experience envy, it is possible, they should never let her know or make her feel bad in any way... then they are good friends... but again, out of your control - and something she''d never have to know.)

Good luck on your proposal!

 

[ms.halo]

As the one in my circle of friend with a significantly smaller stone (until my recent upgrade), I say get her whatever YOU want. I can''t say that I wasn''t occasionally envious of my friends big rocks (most of my friends have between 1.75 and 2.5 cts), but I certainly was always happy for them!

 

[Gleam]

Congratulations! I''m sure your girlfriend will be very excited to receive the ring.

Size is all relative, so in the end, it doesn''t matter. She may have a big diamond relative to her friends, but small relative to say, her co-workers. I mean, really, who knows... so no need to worry about it. 0.7 is a great carat weight, and I''m sure she''ll love it!

 

[radiantquest]

I think that the reason that women in a group of friends usually have the same carat rings is because they are usually in the same economic group. I don''t think that your girlfriend will feel self concsious about it. It is not as if all her friends have .5 and she has 3ct. That would make her feel uncomfortable. I am a little envious of people with larger than my own, but would never make someone feel bad about their own, larger or smaller than mine. I am sure that if they are her friends they are her friends for a reason and will be super excited for her. Can we get a pic of it?

 

[crossmyfingers]

I think anyone who is a decent friend wouldn''t say anything rude about her having a larger ring. I personally only want maybe a .7 carat ring at largest, and I don''t think that I would feel inferior if a friend had a 2 carat. I think you should get her what you want to get and what you know she will like, and any real friend will be happy for her. You are such a sweet guy for considering all that! Good luck on your proposal, keep us updated!

 

[thetoolman]

Thanks everyone.

This was exactly the feedback that I was looking for.


Ill try to get you a picture of my current diamond tonight. Ive been asking some questions in rocky talky and it sounds like I need to do some talking with my vendor to get things straitend out before I buy the new one.

-Matt

 

[Haven]

I agree with everyone else who said true friends won't make her feel bad about her engagement ring, whatever the size.

And I definitely agree that size is relative. Right now she may have the largest ring in her circle, but as your group of friends grow in age and income I bet some of her friends who get engaged in a few years will be sporting larger stones. And I'll bet your gf wouldn't dream of making them feel bad about it.

 

[kittybean]

There are some wise posters on this thread

. I''ll agree with them and say you should get her the ring you want to get her.

One carat is a great size, and even though her friends might have .5 ct rings at the moment, as you get older, the rings will likely get bigger, and some of those friends might upgrade, too. I''m sure the size you''re considering won''t make her feel uncomfortable; in fact, I''m sure she won''t be thinking of the size at all when she looks at her ring and remembers the love that you put into picking it out for her and asking her to marry you. My friends and I are all happy for each other when one of us gets engaged or married--we never judge someone''s ring or try to make another feel bad about their personal symbol of commitment.

 

[Dreamer1116]

I am 23 years old, and I have a few engaged friends all with rings at about 1/3. Other associates, even the older women I come in contact with daily at work have about 1/2 to 1 carat. Where I am from (Minnesota), it is very uncommon to see anything over 1 carat (except for the sales people at jewelery stores). I have a 1.58 center stone and almost a carat of pave diamonds on my band, so of all the people I know...I have the largest diamond and tcw. I never really see anyone with my size diamond. HOWEVER, all of my friends have been really happy for me. They make comments more about their own rings...like "mine is nothing compared to yours", but if they make a direct comment about my ring, it''s about how beautiful it is.

Your future fiance is going to be so excited! Her friends may be somewhat envious, and say how much they love their smaller diamonds (which maybe completely true), but her true friends will never say anything mean or negative about her ring. I am so happy for you and excited for her! KEEP US ALL POSTED!!!

 

[Luckyeshe]

Toolman, you''re such a sweetie! I think you should listen to all the wise ladies on this thread. I have a carat and I have one of the biggest diamonds in my circle of friends and family for my age group. Most are truly excited and happy for me and others just want to ask my FI for advice for when it''s their turn to get e-rings. As for those older than me, I''m not getting an upgrade and there are some with close to 2 carats, but it''s not their e-rings they too are happy for me. So to each his own. True friends would be happy for her and more than likely won''t say anything negative so go for that carat since it''s the one you''ve wanted to get her from the very beginning! When are you proposing? Will you be showing her PS? I think you should since she should know just how lucky she is to have you as her FH!

 

[thetoolman]

And again, thanks for all of your replys. I really didnt think it would/should be an issue, just kinda feeling things out. Never done this before

But she is a real sweety and her friends are great so I dont expect any issues.

Well for those of you who were wanting a couple of pictures, here are a few of my sad attempts.


-Matt

 

[thetoolman]

Her size 5 ring on my pinkie finger, lol.

 

[thetoolman]

And this is my IGI certification... please dont laugh, I was suuuper excited when I went to pick it out

-Matt

 

[thetoolman]

Oh and yes... I do plan to keep you all up to date. Will be popping the question about Christmas time... Im terrible, I know

Im sure Ill bring her on here, even though she could use a place like this to help her out now, as I said before she is definitely a LIW, haha.


Ill also let you guys know what I do about my diamond upgrade when I make that happen.

-Matt

 

[cindygenit]

You two make a beautiful couple!

And you are so SWEET!!

 

[AllieGator]

I can understand you're anxiety. I'm also 21, and a few of my friends have started to get engaged. Most of them have 1/2-3/4, and one has just over one carat, but it's a family diamond. I've never noticed any jealousy or animosity between them, just a general happiness that they're all engaged, and that they all have great rings and awesome fiances.

I think .7 carats is lovely, and 1 carat is a great size, too. I love that setting, and you're a cute couple! I'm sure she'll love the ring, and all of the thought you've put into it.

 

[TooPatient]

Date: 10/22/2009 1:44:18 AM
Author: cindygenit
You two make a beautiful couple!

And you are so SWEET!!

+1

She will love either diamond. You chose beautiful rings.

 

[trillionaire]

gorgeous couple!

I think that at age 21, 1ct will seem large to a lot of people, but by the time she ages into her 20''s and 30''s, it will seem perfect and tasteful. I have 1ct, I''m 27 and still sometimes feel self-conscious about it, but I love it and wouldn''t change a thing!

.7 cts is a lovely size, but women really love to hit that 1ct mark!

 

[Luckyeshe]

Date: 10/22/2009 5:31:20 PM
Author: trillionaire
gorgeous couple!

I think that at age 21, 1ct will seem large to a lot of people, but by the time she ages into her 20''s and 30''s, it will seem perfect and tasteful. I have 1ct, I''m 27 and still sometimes feel self-conscious about it, but I love it and wouldn''t change a thing!

.7 cts is a lovely size, but women really love to hit that 1ct mark!

I agree with everything Trill said!! You two are very cute together and she''s gonna be thrilled with whatever you get her. If you do go for the 1 carat she''ll be able to grow into it. I''m also 27 with a 1 carat and I love it! But not as much as I love my FI! On her size 5 finger, it''s gonna look awesome! I wear a 4.75 and most people think my diamond is bigger than what it is due to my finger size. A .70 carat will probably look like a carat on her finger and a carat would probably look like 1.2 carat if not more. Good luck with your decision toolman!

 

[Londongirl1]

Your thoughfulness is sweet however you can''t worrying about what friends / family will think of what you buy your FI. Will you debate buying a car in case friends get jealous or decide to buy a smaller house so you don''t appear to be showing off??

In life, there''ll always be someone with a bigger diamond, bigger house, bigger everything - that''s just the way it is

Buy your FI whatever you can afford and you''ll both be happy - all the best!