Cookie Cutter Weddings?

[Fancy605]

I''m so glad someone asked about this "cookie cutter" thing b/c I''ve been thinking about it too. I actually think "cookie cutter" could be a very regional thing. It is very interesting to me to see the differences in what is typical from place to place. For instance, here in the not-big-city part of the South I live in, I don''t think anything that has been described as "traditional" that would be considered "the norm." I suppose typical here would be somewhere in line with the following:

*getting married straight out of school (which generally lends itself to the type of wedding I see often)
*getting married in the bride''s home church
*Piano/Organ music
*A soloist
*having a day time finger food reception
*the bride and bridal party wear attire that by all "fashion rules" is way to dressy for the time of day the wedding begins (i.e full out ball gowns for everyone at 2:00), but no one actually cares b/c she''s the bride and she wanted it, so she can have it. People like lots of glitz any time of day around here.
*stark white dresses
*Strapless for everyone (which is unfortunate sometimes because it just doesn''t flatter every single person.)
*personalized paper napkins
*Some kind of mint type candy in a dish
*White linens
*cake toppers
*Alcohol free receptions
*The smashing of the cake in the face
*First dances, mother son, father daughter, but no other dancing really
*Wedding Bubbles
*Bridal Parties who "decorate" the couple''s car

That''s pretty different from what I read about as "typical" in this thread. In fact, I would say that my wedding utilized quite a few of the things this thread deemed "typical" despite the fact that I''ve not been to many weddings in my area like my own (maybe 2 or 3). We had a church wedding with Cannon in D and strings and black tuxes, we had a big ball room reception, and I wore a ball gown. We had a full service sit down meal. We had lots of roses and calla lilies. We had lots of dancing. We did the bouquet and garter (nothing raunchy though--eww). Our BMs were 100% matchy-matchy (I told them they didn''t have to match, they over ruled me. I let them have it their way).

Anyway, what is interesting to me is that to my friends, it seemed like a completely a-typical wedding b/c it is different from what they see 7/10 times. But according to what I''m reading, mine wasn''t so far off from what is considered "the norm" in other parts of the country. (That''s not to say we didn''t have a lot of personal touches, but I''ve been typing for much too long to get into that now)

 

[Fancy605]

Date: 11/27/2007 5:32:25 PM
Author: lauralu
EEEEK........after we are pronounced man and wife and the ceremony is over we are thinking of passing out champagne.. Oj and champagne (mimosas) It's going to be a morning ceremony and brunch after... and toasting all the guests marriages, special relationships, loved ones ect and passing around a box of Bono sun glases for everyone to put on and than walking back up? or is it back down the isle? to U2's 'beautiful day'


FI thinks Bono is so cool....okay yeah......me too! He's a god actually....we love that song.


does that all sound Corney????????????????????????

I know my husband probably would think that it is AWESOME. U2 is his VERY favorite (and one of my favorites). We actually played Beautiful Day at our reception. I think that idea is pretty neat!

 

[mimzy]

uummm i guess when i think "cookie cutter", these things come to mind -
May/June/August wedding date
david's bridal outfitting the entire wedding party
calla lillies
white flowers in general
ugly banquet halls with 'dressed up' with tulle
floating votive candles with mirrored centerpieces
white satin a-line gown
red, pink, light green, blue, silver as wedding colors
tiaras


does this mean that if you have any of these that you have a cookie cutter wedding? of course not. it's not really fair to fault people as being uncreative or too traditional if what they like happens to be popular. chances are they picked it for more of a reason than just "it's popular and/or standard". unless someone is totally disinterested in their wedding, which i guess some people are (and there's nothing wrong with that), then it's more than likely that they put thought into every decision they made, even if the outcomes put them "inside the box". I'm sure those brides are getting exactly what they had envisioned for their wedding day, and what kind of meanie mcmeanerson would judge someone else's vision, even if it has been 'envisioned' before?!

truthfully, i can't help but be equally annoyed by people who take a pride (which is fine) that reeks of superiority (which isn't) in their wedding. i would say that if anything is cliche, then it would have to be buzzwords that include, but are not limited to: untraditional, unique, "so us", or different. i don't think that anyone begins their wedding planning by thinking to themselves "you know, i want to have the world's most cliche wedding". we all want to make it special and different and "so us". i agree with the people that said a bride and groom should do what they want and if it turns out different than most weddings,then great. i guess it just irks me when people think "what can we do DIFFERENT? let's be DIFFERENT" just for the sake of standing out.

also, i would have to say that anyone who would deem a wedding as less special because it was "cookie cutter" should be deemed a jerk.

pardon my pessimism, i've been hanging out with way too many hipsters lately.

 

[sunnyd]

Date: 11/27/2007 5:56:40 PM
Author: HollyS
When I posted *TRENDS* it was to make a point that today''s ''fresh ideas'' are tomorrow''s traditions.

No one should stress about how to please everyone; how to do everything Miss Manners style; or even how to ''WOW'' the guests. Don''t stress. Make a list of what is important to you, and what isn''t important. You will know, instinctively, what traditions to use and what to toss, and how you can make your wedding personal and intimate.

Dave and I chose to have a modified Episcopal service - not at the church. We didn''t want to feel forced to include people just because we all go to the same church. We carefully chose our scripture readings that meant something to us, and asked very good friends to be our readers.

I walked down the aisle to the very traditional ''Jesu, Joy of Man''s Desiring'' by Bach; but we went out to an original and unpublished piece of music composed by our classical guitarist.

We chose to dress up ''the chapel'' at the Inn so that it really did look like a small church instead of just a building. We got a black wrought iron cross at HL for the back wall, and matching black based hurricane lamps and a lovely fall tapestry runner for the ''altar'' table. These are all items that we are now using in our home.

We wanted a family wedding portraits to be on display; especially because we have each lost a parent and all of our grandparents. It was our way of having them with us as we celebrated our own wedding. I chose to use an ivory satin purse my late mother carried at my older sister''s 1975 wedding.

We didn''t do a garter or bouquet toss; my bouquet is drying in a glass vase on my bookcase where I can see it everyday. We did not have a band or DJ at the reception; we were so small that a CD player with light jazz made perfect dinner music, and still gave people something to dance to. And, no, we did not have a first dance.

As my wedding planner confirmed, most favors are left sitting on the table -- people don''t remember to pick them up and take them home. So, we decided that since nearly everyone loves chocolate, we would put out these miniature champagne glasses filled with chocolates wrapped in fall colors. Cheap, easy, complimented the table decor without being too cheesy, and everyone enjoyed them.

We loved every detail of our wedding; we don''t regret a thing; we don''t think we missed anything that we ''should have done''; and if we did it all again tomorrow, it would be much the same.

As I was reading the posts here, I had to laugh. We''re talking about cookie-cutter weddings today, but all trends aside, today''s brides have MANY more choices than the brides of 25-30 years ago, when no one would have dared to swim against the tide of ''tradition''! You would only have to look at my sister''s album from 1975 with the carefully composed and posed pictures recording the floral and apparel choices of that era to realize just how far we''ve come! As I recall, you either had a pink or blue wedding (some ''odd'' people actually chose yellow or maybe lavender, lol), or if it was at Christmas, you could have hunter green, red, or burgundy. And, of course, the bride was literally swaddled in yards of fabric with a neckline up to the chin. For those of us old enough to remember, there was quite a lot of ''talk'' when Tricia Nixon decided to wear a sleeveless dress for her wedding in 1971!

lol holly the picture you described sounds just like my parents'' 1981 february wedding. burgundy BM dresses (and shoes!), a lacy wedding dress up to the chin, full sleeves, and a hat. i think a lot of people wore hats...a wedding hat? bridal hat? lol!!!! bright red nails...it was so cute.

 

[rainbowtrout]

There really are so many interesting regional differences:


South (where I grew up):

--no placecards/seating plan
--buffet style norm for even fancy weddings
--as said before, fancy fancy dress no matter what the time of day! (but the color has to coordinate)
--wedding in the home church/temple
--organ music
--groom's cake always
--having the game on even at a VERY formal wedding (no kidding)

North:
always placecards
seated dinner
can be more "trendy"
more secular

anyways thats just very general observations!


A friend of mine getting married in Bham, AL, when I was afraid to send her mother the Southern etiquette guru an invitation bc I *knew* I would have missed some sort of point of protocol, said "Oh don't worry, you're from up North so it doesn't matter what you do, the rules don't apply to you!"

 

[Cleopatra]

Date: 11/29/2007 2:45:10 PM
Author: rainbowtrout
There really are so many interesting regional differences:


South (where I grew up):

--no placecards/seating plan
--buffet style norm for even fancy weddings
--as said before, fancy fancy dress no matter what the time of day! (but the color has to coordinate)
--wedding in the home church/temple
--organ music
--groom''s cake always
--having the game on even at a VERY formal wedding (no kidding)

North:
always placecards
seated dinner
can be more ''trendy''
more secular

anyways thats just very general observations!


A friend of mine getting married in Bham, AL, when I was afraid to send her mother the Southern etiquette guru bc I *knew* I would have missed some sort of point of protocol, said ''Oh don''t worry, you''re from up North so it doesn''t matter what you do, the rules don''t apply to you!''

Exactly! I was not "allowed" by my family to have the wedding during football season. Because if I did, there would be a TV set up at the reception....no kidding....

Man, did we grow up in the same area??? lol!

 

[NewEnglandLady]

OMG, our wedding was the same night the Red Sox clenched their division win. Dan''s entire family spilled into the house after dinner was served to turn on the game and spent the rest of the night on the sofas, haha. I''m pretty sure there was a red sox toast, haha.

 

[robbie3982]

Date: 11/29/2007 2:58:42 PM
Author: Cleopatra

Date: 11/29/2007 2:45:10 PM
Author: rainbowtrout
There really are so many interesting regional differences:


South (where I grew up):

--no placecards/seating plan
--buffet style norm for even fancy weddings
--as said before, fancy fancy dress no matter what the time of day! (but the color has to coordinate)
--wedding in the home church/temple
--organ music
--groom''s cake always
--having the game on even at a VERY formal wedding (no kidding)

North:
always placecards
seated dinner
can be more ''trendy''
more secular

anyways thats just very general observations!


A friend of mine getting married in Bham, AL, when I was afraid to send her mother the Southern etiquette guru bc I *knew* I would have missed some sort of point of protocol, said ''Oh don''t worry, you''re from up North so it doesn''t matter what you do, the rules don''t apply to you!''

Exactly! I was not ''allowed'' by my family to have the wedding during football season. Because if I did, there would be a TV set up at the reception....no kidding....

Man, did we grow up in the same area??? lol!

My boss told me that at his daughter''s wedding they rented big screen TVs so they wouldn''t miss the Ohio state game.

 

[aliciagirl]

Date: 11/27/2007 12:04:10 PM
Author: HollyS

Date: 11/27/2007 11:32:33 AM

Author: NewEnglandLady

I completely agreee with misysu and neatfreak. I think ''cookie cutter'' is synonomous with ''generic''. In addition to what misysu wrote, I''d add that cookie cutter weddings usually take place in a hotel ballroom or golf club with the generic flowers, dress, dancing, matching BM dresses, etc. that neatfreak listed.

Ugh! The only two things I specifically said NO to were strapless dresses, (not on this body, at my age, uh-uh), and hotel ballrooms with those ugly floral patterned carpets in dayglo colors! Yeeshh!!


''Cookie cutter weddings'' are impersonal; they incorporate most or all the latest trends simply because they''re trendy; they look like 5 other weddings you attended this year and last; and ultimately, they look as if someone other than the B&G was in charge of putting it together (Mom, MIL, wedding planner, hotel banquet manager, etc.).


TRENDS


Tiffany blue and brown

Pink and brown

Black and white

Pink and black

Orchid strands hanging from trees, ceilings, etc.

Pink, red, orange, or purple special lighting effects

Monograms on cake, linens, invitations, or projected onto walls or floors

Monocromatic florals

Fruit in glass vases

Wrapping chairs with fabric

Drapes and chandeliers in tents

Dessert buffets

Candy table

Unity candles replaced with sand ceremonies

Pachebel''s Canon for processional

*funky, fun* music for recessional

Strapless dresses

Black BM dresses

Brown BM dresses

Patterned or colored neckties for the men

DIY invitations

DIY favors

Special getaway cars: sportscars from yesteryear, vintage Rolls or Bentley, antique truck, etc.

Horse-drawn carriage


Don''t fret if you have used or want to use any of those ideas mentioned above; just personalize the details so the event is about YOU and the FI.

Holy cow, if these things are cookie cutter, why aren''t I invited to those weddings!? It seems that in my area, people have ceremony AND reception in the church/church banquet hall. There is usually no dancing. No limos. No tents. No orchids. Nothing that people generally associate with classy or elegant, unfortunately.

I honestly know people who "personalized" by having centerpieces made entirely of beer cans (these obviously weren''t in the church, lol

) Food is typically finger food with meatballs, cocktail weenies, and chicken salad sandwiches. Everyone is matchy-matchy and the colors always look like the Easter bunny threw up on the place. My BFF got married a few years ago, and when she picked some of her classical music favorites (don''t ask me what they were, lol. that''s her thing and definitely not mine) people literally said "oh my gosh, where is the ''here comes the bride'' song!?"

My wedding will likely be cookie cutter in the way that you described but will be more personalized. But trust me, where I''m from, having a wedding like this would make me a freak of nature not mediocre. It''s kind of sad, really.

 

[Fancy605]

Date: 11/29/2007 2:58:42 PM


Author: rainbowtrout


Exactly! I was not ''allowed'' by my family to have the wedding during football season. Because if I did, there would be a TV set up at the reception....no kidding....


Man, did we grow up in the same area??? lol!

Oh yes, Weddings CANNOT interfere with "The Game" I think that''s why spring/summer weddings are so big where I am. They don''t conflict with football.