Crazy Lady in Waiting

[josmar0623]

Hi all,

Just wanted to introduce myself. I''ve been a lurker in the LIW forum but, not the Rocky Talky forum.

I''m starting to feel like I''m going a bit crazy..not because I think my boyfriend isn''t going to propose but because I''m getting kind of anal/Monica Gellarish about picking out a ring.

I first started out liking this ring:
Ring #1

Then I started having doubts because I started wanting to modify the semi-mount, making it a thinner band, and had other concerns about the pave diamonds on the front and the back. I didn''t reject it 100% but, I still wasn''t sure if it was "the one".

Then this past weekend we stopped by another jeweler. I ended up seeing a setting I liked and the jeweler showed me a diamond that was available. I wasn''t completely wowed but, the diamond wasn''t shabby either. What bothered me the most was it didn''t have a GIA report with it. The bf and I didn''t have any plans of getting a ring that day but, the jeweler was so convincing and kept on dropping the price and was even below my bf''s budget. And my bf said we''d take the setting and diamond, even put money down on it. Later that night I started having doubts again. I couldn''t sleep until 4AM because I was just having doubts. I ended up calling the jeweler''s store and leaving a message saying I had doubts about the ring and wanted to try to get my bf''s money back. The next morning I told my bf what I did and he convinced me that it was a beautiful ring so I called the jeweler and left a message again saying to proceed with everything. THEN, I started having doubts again later in the day and my bf called and left a message to hold on everything.

Having doubts thread

Now do you see why I''m feeling crazy. I assure you that I''m usually more sane than this and very laid back. I don''t know what''s gotten into me. I think it''s a combo of choosing the perfect ring, which I don''t want to upgrade/change in the future, and the wealth of knowledge and things I keep learning here on pricescope.

Here is the setting that my bf put money down on. It''s from Gabriel & Co.
Setting

Because I''m so indecisive and because I want my bf to truly pick out the ring and surprise me, we decided to start from scratch and I be left out of the whole ring decision. At first I thought it would be a good idea to go ring shopping together, but the more we did that and when I eventually saw him put money towards a ring, it kind of took away surprise and specialness (is that a word) of getting engaged. So I think even if he ends up going with the same setting, which he may have to because I think they already started making it for me, and diamond, I will still love it because he chose it.

So..I am now a lady in waiting.

 

[Luckyeshe]

Josmar, what you''re going through is pretty normal! Lots of girls change their mind about the setting! I think you''re right though that if you think you''ll be happy with whatever the BF decides, then you definitely need to be taken out of the loop since it''s stressing you out. Just enjoy the ride! The one he put money on is a classic and beautiful setting! I was more worried about the uncertified diamond than the setting. Good luck and just try to enjoy the moment!

 

[josmar0623]

Thanks Luckyeshe for assuring me this is normal. I''ve been lurking in the LIW section reading about everyone''s experiences as they wait to get engaged and a lot of times I''m like..wow..that''s exactly how I''m feeling too.

 

[Luckyeshe]

NP, Josmar! I''m actually the opposite of you though, about the setting I mean. I needed it to be exactly what I wanted (or close) for me to never want an upgrade! I was very very specific! I was actually having nightmares that he''d pick the worse one and I ended up crying in my dream proposals because I was stuck with something I hated. I''m actually glad that I had input on my setting (he picked the diamond by himself and he did an awesome job!) since I absolutely LOVE my setting! When we were looking, the ones he thought I would like was a bit....crazy....They just weren''t my style or there was something a bit off about them. Now, I''m definitely happy since it''s everything I wanted and more!

As for my MOH, LuckyesheFSIL (I put her in the LIW list without her knowing it

), she''d be happy with anything my brother gets for her too! She did send me pictures of what she was attracted to but my brother is only thinking of solitaires. She likes ones with pear sidestones so I''m going to try to steer him in that direction.

 

[josmar0623]

Date: 9/14/2009 3:42:48 PM
Author: Luckyeshe
NP, Josmar! I''m actually the opposite of you though, about the setting I mean. I needed it to be exactly what I wanted (or close) for me to never want an upgrade! I was very very specific! I was actually having nightmares that he''d pick the worse one and I ended up crying in my dream proposals because I was stuck with something I hated. I''m actually glad that I had input on my setting (he picked the diamond by himself and he did an awesome job!) since I absolutely LOVE my setting! When we were looking, the ones he thought I would like was a bit....crazy....They just weren''t my style or there was something a bit off about them. Now, I''m definitely happy since it''s everything I wanted and more!


As for my MOH, LuckyesheFSIL (I put her in the LIW list without her knowing it

), she''d be happy with anything my brother gets for her too! She did send me pictures of what she was attracted to but my brother is only thinking of solitaires. She likes ones with pear sidestones so I''m going to try to steer him in that direction.

My boyfriend spoke to one of the saleslady where he put the money down and she said she''s not sure if he can get his money back so my bf is going to talk to the owner and try to maybe get a partial refund and then credit from the store and possibly use that credit to get gifts for future bdays or christmas or even get our wedding bands there. The one positive thing about all this is that this reassures me that my bf is the one. Even through all my meltdowns, he hasn''t been angry or exasperated. I keep apologizing and he just says it''s ok and that he wants me to be happy with my ring. The way he''s reacted too my indecisiveness just makes me love him more.

I''m sure your brother can be convinced to get a ring with pear sidestones especially if you mention how much your FSIL wants it.

 

[josmar0623]

I''m also like that about the ring. I just want the setting and diamond to be nice enough where I feel like I won''t want to upgrade. I was telling my bf that I don''t want to upgrade my engagement ring ever because of sentimental reasons. Hopefully I''ll still feel like that years from now.

 

[Luckyeshe]

Well that''s great news, Josmar! I''m glad that it''ll work out somehow!! My FI was the same way when it came time to pick the setting. They honestly (no matter how crazy we may get at times) just want us to be happy with our rings since we will be the ones wearing it

.

My bro already has the diamond and he''s had it since May of this year. It''s not set yet. He''s really a very simple guy and he wants the ring to showcase her diamond and he thinks diamonds on the bands or anywhere else detracts from the main stone and is "too busy" for his taste. So, as a compromise I think I''ve managed to steer him to a 6 prong (which is what he wants no 4 prong for her) trellis solitaire setting and she''ll just get to choose her wedding band! I''m going to say something along the lines that gold prices are going up and he better act fast and get the diamond set!

As for changing our minds...sweetheart, we''re girls! We reserve the right to change our minds!!

 

[crossmyfingers]

I don''t think you''re crazy at all, josmar. I''m actually afraid that''s how I will be once BF and I start ring shopping. I thought he would be traditional about it and not ask my opinion at all, and this weekend he said he wants me to have input on it. Oh boy... he doesn''t know what he''s getting himself into!

 

[vetrogrl]

Hi...I am in the same situation too! My bf and I started looking at rings back in Feb. this year, and up til about June I was still trying to find the right center stone/setting...and finally have! Its getting closer to him proposing, so we decided to go with one of my good friends friend who is a jewelry designer/jeweler since we feel that we can trust her and she has amazing work.

I am still constantly pondering about my final choice for my center stone shape and setting, but im pretty sure I''m set on my decision My bf and i are meeting with her in a couple weeks to discuss my future ring...but I drove my bf craazy these past 6 months not really knowing what I wanted...but once I saw my center stone and setting together...i knew that was it and my heart skipped a beat too i think This is something that you will be wearing for the rest of your life, and it is important you get what you LOVE and is fine if you''re changing your mind...you''ll know when you find the "one" ring that is for you Good luck!!

 

[purelily]

Its so normal to change your mind. Especially when its such a big purchase! I''ve gone through many variations of rings before finally deciding on one.

Don''t worry your not crazy. Perfectly normal, in fact! Good luck finding what you want and your SO sounds like a sweetie!

 

[josmar0623]

Date: 9/14/2009 10:17:35 PM
Author: vetrogrl
Hi...I am in the same situation too! My bf and I started looking at rings back in Feb. this year, and up til about June I was still trying to find the right center stone/setting...and finally have! Its getting closer to him proposing, so we decided to go with one of my good friends friend who is a jewelry designer/jeweler since we feel that we can trust her and she has amazing work.


I am still constantly pondering about my final choice for my center stone shape and setting, but im pretty sure I''m set on my decision My bf and i are meeting with her in a couple weeks to discuss my future ring...but I drove my bf craazy these past 6 months not really knowing what I wanted...but once I saw my center stone and setting together...i knew that was it and my heart skipped a beat too i think This is something that you will be wearing for the rest of your life, and it is important you get what you LOVE and is fine if you''re changing your mind...you''ll know when you find the ''one'' ring that is for you Good luck!!

That''s the way I felt like I should feel about the ring which was why I was having doubts. When I saw the diamond, I wasn''t like wow that''s so sparkly and beautiful. I was just like it''s a pretty good size and a bargain price. I want to be like I love this ring and I didn''t feel like that. I feel much better about not going with the original ring. Even if we can''t get my bf''s deposit we can always get store credit and I know I''ll be able to find something there like birthday gifts. The owner hasn''t called him back yet because the owner''s in Canada.

 

[josmar0623]

Date: 9/15/2009 3:17:31 AM
Author: purelily
Its so normal to change your mind. Especially when its such a big purchase! I''ve gone through many variations of rings before finally deciding on one.


Don''t worry your not crazy. Perfectly normal, in fact! Good luck finding what you want and your SO sounds like a sweetie!

Do I still get a "not crazy" pass even though the first time I left a message for the jeweler saying I didn''t want the ring it was 330AM Sunday morning haha?

 

[purelily]

Yup! Still get the pass!