Crushed Dreams

[soulsis]

Well...all that talk and now nothing is going to fly with my trade UP. If you remember, BF and I want to get engaged and we can''''t really afford a great ring like he wants to get me. I contacted my jeweller who I had previously bought A LOT of custom stuff off of. He said that he would trade it in.
Went down there today and he gave me a hard time about being divorced, getting remarried..wanting to chinz out on another diamond, etc. He couldn''''t believe when I told him I had been divorced for 3 years and was thinking of getting remarried. I was so upset I left in tears. He won''''t trade it in unless I go double the size. Even thought we were planning on getting more diamonds added, both wedding bands made...etc. Obviously, my piddly ring isn''''t enough for him to want my business. So now I am stuck with a beautiful diamond that I can''''t wear. I am so upset. Maybe I should hook him up with my dad (My dad thinks I am used baggage and therefor not "marriage material".

 

[Maxine]

Wow...what a sad story....I am so sorry that jeweler was SOOOOOOO insensitive!!! Maybe you will be able to find a way to sell the ring....Do you have to sell it to get $$ for a new one?? If not, you can always have a pendant made. I know it''s hard right now, but try not to think about it...there is nothing wrong with you, but some people you know are being really rude!!!! Try to hang in there..........

 

[Kaleigh]

Oh that is just terrible, I am so sorry. Don''t give up the ship yet are there other jewelers in your area that you have done business with?? It''s worth a try to see if another jeweler would take your ring for a trade in. Hang in there and let us know what happens.

 

[soulsis]

The reasons I want to sell it are:

-it sits in my jewellery box and will forever..probably
-I want another shape and not use the same diamond for another husband
-I don''t wear any jewellery except a "would be" wedding band. I wouldn''t even wear it on my other hand.

I understand why a jeweller would not want to take on a diamond at no benefit to him, but I thought this would! He''s getting the diamonds back (1 x 1.12 princess SI1 D, 2 x 0.25 princesses VVS2 E, 6 x 0.18 baguettes VS1 E) I would GIVE him all those diamonds just to trade the shape on the larger one PLUS buy smaller ones for melee, a matching wedding band and a men''s band. I mean...HOW DOES THIS NOT BENEFIT HIM??? Maybe because they are small? You''d think they''d be easier to get rid of then?

 

[FireGoddess]

WOW. It may be my mood today, but I want to line up your dad and your jeweler and SMACK them both. How DARE anyone say/infer/whatever that you are used baggage and chide you for getting remarried??? Un-freaking-believable.

You went in there for a business transaction, not to be judged on how you choose to live your life. And if the jeweler wasn''t going to be straight with you in the first place, he should never have led you on thinking that he would do you right by the trade in. At the very least, if there were going to be conditions on the trade in, he should have been up front with them (ie. having to double the size of the stone, whatever).

I can understand of course not wanting to use the diamond you already have for the new ring. Are there any other avenues for you to sell it? (It''s kind of hard to do, as a consumer...at the very least, you don''t end up with a purchase price of anywhere close to what you paid.) Could you perhaps afford a smaller stone from a place that has a decent trade up policy, so that when the time comes you can upgrade? Or perhaps get a setting that houses the size diamond you really want, and put an interlap or something in its place until you can afford one?

I am very sorry for what happened to you today...people really stink sometimes.

 

[kaylagee]

Have you considered another jeweller? I'm sure everything will turn out fine. There are also some shops that will do trades as well. I don't blame you for wanting to be rid of the ex's ring.

At least you're being responsible and rational about it. I actually dropped mine(along with some other pieces he'd given me) off of the Berkeley Pier into the bay.

(intentional use of the wacko face)

Some poor creature might have choked! sigh. I was much more impulsive and dramatic then.

There is absolutely no shame in moving on with your life and finding love. You have to ignore the critics(even if they are family) and pray for the best!

Hugs, Kayla

 

[MINE!!]

I am sooo sorry to hear your story... Ususually I put in my .02 but this time I want to put in .05.

I have been divorced for 4 years now and will be getting amrried next year. I too have the problem about people considering me baggage. You know, divorced woman, food stamps, 2 children, the list can go on and on about all the faults and baggage that people can claim to see....But WHO CARES what they see. They are not the important ones, if you think of anything, know that you YOU YOU!!! are not baggage. Neither one of us are. NONE of us are... You are a woman who is about to marry a man that (if he thinks like my BF) believes that you are a goddess and that is who you ARE... You are not baggage, you are not discarded and you are not forgotten. You are a woman, a goddess and I am willing to bet a damn good person as well.
Keep you head up... and forgive me for the saying it... as for the ''jeweler'' ... screw him, what the hell does he know!
hang in there!!!!

 

[lost on 5th]

im sooooo sorry to hear your story. im sure you will find a solution and get past all of this. (not sure what else to post, but really felt the need to reply

i hope you dont let those unkind words and inferences get to you... )

 

[pearcrazy]

What?! Your private life, your love life is NONE of the jeweler''s business. I am astounded at the nerve of that person.

Find another jeweler--pronto-- and ignore the jerk.

 

[luvmysparklies]

Wow. I am very sorry you had to go through that with a jerk of a jeweler.

Can you consign with another jeweler? I am sorry that you''ve gone through this.
Luv

 

[kaylagee]

LOL! ame!

Soulsis, you have to be smiling at that one!

Consignment is a great idea too.

I love diamonds like everyone else here but please don''t make it a central issue. Shoot, I got married with a garnet e-ring this time. Fat lot of good my first diamond did us(me and ex) so I know what''s essential.

Hopefully you''ll find a sensible jeweler too, but meanwhile, please don''t be sad about the ring situation. It will totally work out for the best. The most important part is being happy w/ yourself and your guy! The new diamonds will come.

 

[MissAva]

HOW RUDE!!!!

Honestly what right does he have for heavens sake...I cannot imagine saying such a thing to anyone. I hope you let him have a whatfor prior to leaving. If not post his address and the LIW will take care of it.

The only reason I can imagine that he would''nt want the stone was if there was something wrong with it I1 clarity of M in color....something that would be less likely to sell. But it sounds like they were decent stones so what is his problem.

I vote that you never return to this guy, is he the manager/owner? If not you ought to say something to his boss. Attitudes like that are out of line and will get you no where....kinda makes you wonder how much business this guy has lost the store. I hope you feel better....perhaps ame and I can take this man from a rooster to a hen in a sigle shot. Humph damn this just pisses me off.

 

[soulsis]

AN UPDATE!

I went to a local jeweller close to my house and he offered to buy them. The ring is appraised at $17000. We paid probably about $7000 for it. He said he would buy it from me @ $3000. Then he told me two of the diamond were chipped. I am pretty convinced that they were bought this way considering I was separated 2 weeks after I got the new upgraded diamonds. What are the chances that I could have a chip in a brand new diamond...or is the jeweller trying to pull a fast one on me?

 

[FireGoddess]

Did you have this jeweler show the chips to you under a loupe? That would be an easy way to verify he is telling the truth about the diamonds being chipped.

If the diamonds are indeed chipped, they could have been sold to you that way (if the original jeweler sold you "trade up" diamonds instead of bona fide new ones, and didn''t tell you that they were previously owned), or they could have been chipped during the setting process, or they could have been chipped as a result of you wearing the ring. Did you only wear the ring for the 2 weeks prior to your being separated? Or did you wear your ring after that as well?

Is he offering you $3k knowing the stones are chipped, or was that prior to the discovery?

 

[theinquisitor]

Soulsis, first of all, I am so sorry you have been encountering such 18th century attitudes!!! That''s horrible. Some people!!!

Second, before you sell the ring, I would recommend that you have it appraised by an independent appraiser. Then take that appraisal back to the jeweler who showed an interest. If he''s not willing to do well for you, would I be a total heretic to recommend trying to sell it on Ebay?

Best of luck to you, and don''t let the turkeys get you down -- this is a time of joy, don''t let anyone mar it for you! Congratulations!

 

[movie zombie]

Soulsis,

#1- the jeweler was out of line. he''s in business to sell not judge your personal life. is he the owner? if not, contact the owner and COMPLAIN. if he is the owner, write him a letter and get it out of your system. ''i came in to do business with you and not to have you sit in judgement of my life'' could be a good start.

#2- you are not used goods, baggage, any of that. you are the product of your life experiences and if you had not gone through what you''ve gone through, you would not be the person your BF wants to marry.

#3- your dad is entitled to his opinion but he was not entitled to express it to you. since he did, you are entitle to respond. and i would let him know just how his lack of support for me as his daughter is hurtful and if he can''t say anything nice, then to keep his damn mouth shut.

#4- get the ring appraised then try for a good consignment shop. or hold onto the ring to leave as an heirloom to your children [or future children: they probably won''t care wear the diamonds came from and be glad to have them].

#5- diamonds are just another rock. i''m not sure if i were you that i''d even want another diamond...probably would remind me of the first set which would remind me of the divorce, which would...well, you get the idea.

#6- you and your BF are entitled to enjoy this time planning your future together. i encourage you to do so.

#7- i''m finding that jewelers will say one thing on the phone just to get you in the store and then another when you get there.

peace, movie zombie