depressed

[PearlDahhhling]

Thanks again for all the concern and well wishes girls. I really appreciate it. It''s so nice to be able to come on here and really get these things out and receive support rather than criticism. I love PS and I love you gals!

Newest update to this story would be that I received an email today from this girls mom basically trying to talk me into letting her boyfriend come. Apparently an 8 hour drive is too far for her precious baby to drive all by her lonesome and she wants her to have a big strong man with her just in case.

And she doesn''t see why it would be a problem for us to just let him come to the rehearsal dinner and wedding...

Basically I replied and said that I understood her concern, but that FI and I have discussed it, and we''re not adding to our guest list. We want close friends and family only and don''t feel comfortable having people we don''t know at our own wedding. Period.

What is with people?!?


But to lighten the mood... A little photo of the toilet paper wedding dress game we played at my shower....

 

[bee*]

I can''t believe that her mam emailed you

Well done for sticking with what you and your Fi want. Love the photo.

 

[Dannielle]

Date: 5/6/2009 1:25:06 AM
Author: PearlDahhhling
Thanks again for all the concern and well wishes girls. I really appreciate it. It's so nice to be able to come on here and really get these things out and receive support rather than criticism. I love PS and I love you gals!

Newest update to this story would be that I received an email today from this girls mom basically trying to talk me into letting her boyfriend come. Apparently an 8 hour drive is too far for her precious baby to drive all by her lonesome and she wants her to have a big strong man with her just in case.

And she doesn't see why it would be a problem for us to just let him come to the rehearsal dinner and wedding...

Basically I replied and said that I understood her concern, but that FI and I have discussed it, and we're not adding to our guest list. We want close friends and family only and don't feel comfortable having people we don't know at our own wedding. Period.

What is with people?!?


But to lighten the mood... A little photo of the toilet paper wedding dress game we played at my shower....

WTF???

That is so rude.. This is YOUR wedding, where does she get off???

Good on you for standing up to her!

 

[KatyWI]

I cannot believe that woman!!! I am so glad you stuck to your guns and didn''t give in... HOW RUDE!!!!

And I''m so glad you had a blast at your shower... haha, that TP dress is FABULOUS! I love the neckline!

 

[katamari]

Yikes! I also cannot believe her mom e-mailed you. If the issue is the drive, why couldn''t her flavor ride with her and stay in the hotel with her, just find something else to do while the wedding events happen?

Way to stick to your guns, though, Pearl! I really commend you for this!

 

[tropiqalkiwi]

Date: 5/3/2009 11:39:52 PM
Author: PearlDahhhling

I haven''t talked to the ''MOH'' in question since this particular argument but I''m considering demoting both of my ''MOH''s to BMs because they''re really not fulfilling the MOH role while my BM IS! I think she deserves the title of Maid of Honor because for all she''s done for me she deserves to be honored. The other girls however, do not. I just don''t know quite how to do it yet. And I know it will probably make them mad. But I feel like it''s the right thing to do considering everything my BM has done for me.

Pearl I''m so sorry to hear your friends are letting you down when you need them, I am aware of how hurtful that can be. (((Hugs)))

I just wanted to address the idea of demoting the MOH''s, and giving the title to another BM. An idea came to me while I was reading: What if you simply told them you don''t want to have any MOH''s (essentially making everyone BM''s)? Then had the BM who is doing the most for you simply walk down the isle first? Then to everyone she would LOOK like the maid of honor and you could avoid some hurt feelings by having them all officially be BM''s.

I have no idea if this would work for your circumstances or not, but I thought I would put it out there as an option.

Hopefully focusing on the wedding and those friends that are there for you will bring some happiness to your world.

 

[Kelli]

How lame for her mom to call you.

Ummmm.... grow up, please.

Anyway, good for you to stick to your guns! You''re tougher than I would have been and I totally admire you for it!

Cute TP dresses

 

[luvthemstrawberries]

Wow, that''s pretty low for her to get her mom to contact you, but the girl herself still hasn''t.

I''m so proud of you

for sticking to yours and your FI''s plan and letting that woman know plainly what your goals were, no questions asked. My FI and I are very adamant about that too - we''ve even thought so much as we may not want some people there that we DO know, just because they''re pretty unsupportive of us (even though they''re family...

).

I am TOTALLY with you on demoting (at least) the 2 "MOH" girls (haha quotations are very fitting here!) and promoting the BM that is doing so much for you. That was my immediate thought at your first post - that girl needs to be your one MOH!! You need a switcharoo here. And even just by the way you talked about this girl (the one who would be promoted), it''s evident that you and she really get along and like each other. It''s also evident by how much she is willing to do for you. Like I said, I totally agree with her being your MOH.

I did have a question for you, Pearl - how did you ensure that this other girl wasn''t going to bring her boyfriend? Was it evident by the address on a STD, or did you tell her personally, or what? I''m just wondering how it came to this. Because I''d definitely like to know your verbage or whatever you used if there was a certain way that made that clear to her. Thanks!

 

[PearlDahhhling]

Date: 5/7/2009 3:17:59 PM
Author: luvthemstrawberries


I am TOTALLY with you on demoting (at least) the 2 ''MOH'' girls (haha quotations are very fitting here!) and promoting the BM that is doing so much for you. That was my immediate thought at your first post - that girl needs to be your one MOH!! You need a switcharoo here. And even just by the way you talked about this girl (the one who would be promoted), it''s evident that you and she really get along and like each other. It''s also evident by how much she is willing to do for you. Like I said, I totally agree with her being your MOH.

I did have a question for you, Pearl - how did you ensure that this other girl wasn''t going to bring her boyfriend? Was it evident by the address on a STD, or did you tell her personally, or what? I''m just wondering how it came to this. Because I''d definitely like to know your verbage or whatever you used if there was a certain way that made that clear to her. Thanks!

Yeah, I''m actually in the process of typing up a short letter informing the two "MOH"s of my decision to change their title to BM and give the other girl the title of "MOH". (I''ll be starting another thread with this to get opinions on wording...)

When I addressed invitations, I ONLY put the names of those invited, and only included one response card per person. For her invitation, only her name was on it, and only one response card was provided. The was no "and guest" included in the invitation.

When she contacted me about bringing her boyfriend, it was via an online instant messenger and I had stepped away from my computer for a bit. She had left me a message saying "So I''m thinking about bringing D with me to the wedding, so let me know so that we can ask for time off etc". When I returned to my computer, I replied "You''re welcome to have him drive here with you, but he can''t come to the rehearsal or wedding because of financial issuses." That''s when she freaked out on me. I told her that I couldn''t afford him to come, and that I wasn''t going to change my mind. Ugh it was annoying.

I''ve been asked by a few other people if they can bring a guest, and when I''ve explained to them that we cannot afford to have extra people attend our wedding, they were fine with is and threw out the subject.

I just don''t understand people who think they''re entitled.

 

[tlh]

Date: 5/6/2009 7:27:46 AM
Author: Dannielle

Date: 5/6/2009 1:25:06 AM
Author: PearlDahhhling
Thanks again for all the concern and well wishes girls. I really appreciate it. It''s so nice to be able to come on here and really get these things out and receive support rather than criticism. I love PS and I love you gals!

Newest update to this story would be that I received an email today from this girls mom basically trying to talk me into letting her boyfriend come. Apparently an 8 hour drive is too far for her precious baby to drive all by her lonesome and she wants her to have a big strong man with her just in case.

And she doesn''t see why it would be a problem for us to just let him come to the rehearsal dinner and wedding...

Basically I replied and said that I understood her concern, but that FI and I have discussed it, and we''re not adding to our guest list. We want close friends and family only and don''t feel comfortable having people we don''t know at our own wedding. Period.

What is with people?!?


But to lighten the mood... A little photo of the toilet paper wedding dress game we played at my shower....

WTF???

That is so rude.. This is YOUR wedding, where does she get off???

Good on you for standing up to her!

Did her mother also offer to pay the costs for his chair cover, the additional cost for his meal, etc etc etc???

Go stuff it. I''d think long and hard about how much this girl really means to you...and if it is jealousy making her act this way, or if you''ve grown apart and asking her to be MOH was really just a tribute to the past. The wedding is a tribute to your future. Surround yourself with those that will make you and your husband a stronger unit.

IF she cannot do that. I would not only drop her to BM (poop) but out of the wedding... (flussssshhhh!) and don''t forget to wash the hands nice and clean. Who cares if your sides are even in photos. You don''t want a girl frowning in all your pictures because she is throwing a major hissy on a very special (and expensive) day for you and your groom.

HUGE HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!