Dessert Receptions?

[sydneycasandra]

My dilemma is this;

We''re having a DW in Antigua in 2 months- mom & her boyfriend are coming, and possibly a couple of DF''s friends, no one else.
My mom is throwing us a reception on a Sunday about a week after we get back- it will be outside, at her home (set on a few acres of land) at 2pm. We expect 70-80 guests but hard to know because invites just went out this week.

We don''t really want to spend lots of money on this and we hope to have something unique (is it just me or is "unique" becoming the new standard?). DF is hiring a bluegrass band (I''d prefer a cellist or something, but he likes it and it is his reception too, I want him to be happy), there are no kids coming, most people are 30+ and married; I''ll be re-wearing my dress, sans veil, and he''ll don a suit. The reception is in a sort of out-of-the way location (about 30 minutes from the town where I live and 1h20m from fiance''s family''s town) so we don''t want to encourage drinking since people will have to drive (there are no hotels remotely near), hence the 2pm timeslot on a Sunday (we will be offering beer and sangria, however.)

My real question is this: should we go with light hors d''oeurves served buffet-style, or should we do a dessert reception (plus cheese trays and fruit for people who don''t like sweets). My mom is making a wedding cake (to be decorated by a dear friend of mine), but we''re not sure what else. Dessert reception would be much easier and very "day-aheadable", but I''m not in love with the idea. My mom really likes it and since we''re doing the food ourselves (and she''s paying)... it does seem easier and cheaper, and well-suited to the time of day.

What to do?

 

[saturn]

Well, I''m a little biased since I looooooooooove sweets and I wanted a dessert reception myself.

But if the reception is at 2 p.m., then it seems like hors h''ouevres might be better suited to the time of day.

Ack, I''m no help.

 

[Rebemdee]

I think you could have a great savory and sweet reception. You mentioned sangria; have you thought about having tapas? There are lots of recipes for easy to make things, and the little bite sized pieces keep people happy. Figure 5-7 pieces per guest. How about bacon wrapped figs, bruschetta, and baked brie? Adding in some other yummies? It would fit the theme. And you could have desserts, but keep the dessert part simple; fresh fruit and cake. The fruit would go wonderfully with the sangria. Hope this helps!

http://www.euroresidentes.com/euroresiuk/Recipies/tapas/spanish-tapas.htm for starters! There are a lot of cookbooks out now too for tapas.

 

[ChargerGrrl]

We had a champagne & desserts engagement party, and it was a hit!

We asked a couple of friends who are famous for their "signature" desserts to please bring them (cheesecake, apple pie & creme brulee). I baked cupcakes, and mom baked flan.

FI, who''s a homebrewer brewed a wonderful apricot ale and chocolate stout for those folks that didn''t care for champagne.

And to top it all off, we had a chocolate fountain with an assortment of goodies to dip in.

Granted, ours was a much more casual affair than what you''re planning, but hopefully I gave you some ideas!

 

[Tybee]

We recently went to a cocktail and dessert reception, but it was a later in the evening event~~~ so we all knew to eat dinner before hand.
I think at 2:00 in the afternoon you might want to serve hors dvours.

 

[sydneycasandra]

I really do feel the "hors d''oeurves" vibe for this particular event too- I think my main conflict is that my mom doesn''t and since she''s the main financial contributor (to our albeit very inexpensively done reception- DF paid for wedding) I feel like I should sort of go with what she wants to do. I know that this is *my* wedding and blah blah blah, and she''s already planning on inviting some people (not many) that I don''t know and have never met, but really, I guess I just don''t care. If she''s paying and it is at her house I think she''s more than entitled to invite a few friends I don''t know or whatever (although I''ll admit that much of my side of the guest list is made up of her friends that I know from growing up seeing them around- most of my friends are all poor grad students scattered throughout the country and can''t make it).

Anyway, I just really feel conflicted about this whole reception thing. Now she wants to not have a tent and just put the tables and chairs in a shady area. As we say here in the south- do WHAT?!

P.S. I LOVE the champagne and desserts engagement party with the beer and all- yum!

 

[saturn]

Well, have you honestly and directly told your mom that you would prefer hors d''oeuvres rather than dessert?

If you haven''t, then I think you need to just sit down with her and explain what you want and why. If you need help convincing her, you could refer her this site. (Which claims that dessert is bad etiquette for that that time of day. Not that I really believe that, but it might help you convince her.)

If you have had a direct discussion and she still insists on a dessert reception, then I agree with you that she should have some say in the matter and you might just want to leave the issue alone.

Either way, it sounds like a lot of fun!

 

[selflove]

I just read an article in Bridal Guide about someone who did this for their wedding but it doesn''t say what time of the day they did it. I guess if I were going to an event like this and at this time of day, especially FI''s family 1 hr and 20 mins away, I''d like some food bigger than just desserts. They''ll have to stop for dinner before they head home!

I think there are lots of ways to compromise--tapas are a great suggestion. Or order food from a restaurant for much cheaper than any catering would be. You could even get food from the local supermarket deli, already prepared, which wouldn''t cost much. I know it''s hard when someone else is footing the bill but you really should have an honest talk with your mom.

Good luck!

 

[sydneycasandra]

I like the tapas idea and I think I''ll try to go with that. Maybe we can do "beachy" food or something since it is to celebrate our DW.

I think I''m gonna need a lot of pineapple...

 

[lovelylulu]

i love tapas and your guests are going to love them too! I think that it''s the best choice for a 2pm time slot.