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Diamond Earrings - To give or not to give

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simpleman

Rough_Rock
Joined
Feb 5, 2011
Messages
11
Hi all,

I am in search of advice. I have a girlfriend that I have been seeing for only three months. She is really a great person and I absolutely adore her. I have been trying to figure out what to get her for valentines day. I asked her the other day why she never wears earrings and her response was that she just doesn't have any. She says that she loves them but she has either lost or broken all of her pairs so I'm thinking well earrings would be a great valentines day gift. Well, there are so many different styles I don't want to pick something she doesn't like, then it dawns on me. There is NO way to go wrong with a simple diamond stud earring is there? (I do know that she...like 99.99999% of women...loves diamonds)

My question though is is it too early in a relationship for diamonds? I have read that women read into gifts and what you buy says a lot about your intentions. I don't want to scare her off with something that is too much ya know. I just want to get her something nice that she will wear. The money isn't really an issue with me, I could easily spend $500-$600 for a descent size pair and not break the bank, but I don't want to make her feel like I am trying to buy her. Color me confused...

I guess that I just think that she should have a pair and I want to give them to her, its as simple as that.

Any thoughts?
 
I think it's a lovely idea. In the end it's how much you want to pamper her. I really don't think there should be a time on how long you've been dating etc. As long as you adore her and she adores you - you are happy etc - why not?

My husband pampered me when we were dating and lucky for me he still does to this very day.

I looked at a few earrings for your budget - how about these ones? $275-$295

http://www.whiteflash.com/diamond-earrings/dreams-of-africa-diamond-earrings-502.htm

http://www.whiteflash.com/diamond-earrings/dreams-of-africa-diamond-earrings-924.htm

More expensive one at $599
http://www.whiteflash.com/diamond-earrings/flower-cluster-diamond-earrings-ready-set-to-go-875.htm

They are both reasonable in price and within your budget. Lovely as gifts without being over the top.

I think for the proper diamond studs (bigger ones) - save that for later in the relationship and for birthday etc.

Does she have any diamond earrings?
How old is she?

I personally think for a 3 months relationship for a Valentines gift - get the $275-295 earrings - Dreams of Africa.
I like the one with pink sapphire.
 
First, you are a doll for wantimg to get your GF diamond earrings. Personally I would not accept diamond earrings from someone I had only been dating 3 months. I also asked my 18 year old daughter who said that she would feel uncomforatble accepting such an expensive present from only knowing someone such a short while. Perhaps if you had been dating a year it could be a one year dating anniversary present.

In the meantime, for Valentine's day perhaps red gemstone earrings or pink sapphire or even earrings in rose gold? Or how about white gold dangling heart hoops from James Allen: http://www.jamesallen.com/gold-jewelry/gold-earrings/earring/item_400-1523.asp


In the end you are the one who knows how well this relationship is going and if you feel comfortable enough giving the diamond earrings to her and if she feels comfortable enoughto accept them.
 
My initial inclination would be -- YES, Give -- because I know it's a gift I would have appreciated at 3 months of dating; however, everyone is different. A friend of mine is a major commitment-phobe and though she loves diamonds, she would likely freak out if a bf gave her diamonds at 3 months. Of course, she is always very distant with her bfs and will typically only see them 1 or 2X per week. Only you can really assess where your gf stands and how you think she would receive the gift. The sentiment, as you've explained it above, is very sweet, and diamond studs would make a very lovely gift if you think your gf is in a position to receive them as happily as you are to give them.

With that said, were you planning to buy the studs on-line? Quite a few folks here have purchased studs from id jewelry. I did a quick search, and it looks like you can get .50 total carat weight G-H Color SI Clarity white gold studs for $445. https://www.idjewelryonline.com/ncd...prong=val1&metal=W&backing=F&numb=P&carat=0.5 . I suppose I would call and confirm that those are SI1 clarity or specifically request SI1 clarity. I am far from a diamond expert, and I am SURE others will chime in, but this is where I'd start.

Oh, I also don't think I'd go larger than .50 tcw. Is that the size you were thinking?

Also, when I think of studs, I think of Bliss's diamond studs: https://www.pricescope.com/communit...tcw-studs-reset-into-8-prong-martinis.133892/ This may be a helpful thread for some setting styles.

I personally love the 8 prong martini setting that Bliss has, but I wonder if it would be too overwhelming for smaller size studs. Curious what others think about that? I'd love to get these earrings one day (err, if I ever get my ears pierced!), but wonder if the 8 prongs would be too much. I do like that they add a little more volume to the earrings.
 
I personally would be VERY uncomfortable with such a big gift so soon in a relationship, but I'm not really a gift person in general. On the love language quiz, I score a zero on gifts and big gifts tend to make me uncomfortable.
But, you have to think about your gf. Does she like and expect gifts? Are you both financially at a point where $600 isn't a big deal? What is the normal price range for gifts between you two, or that she gives to family or for weddings? My friends and family tend to spend much less on gifts, so that would be expensive in my opinion, but for others, several hundred dollars is normal.

I think if you're in doubt, err on the side of caution and save the diamond studs for your first anniversary or xmas or something. I think gemstone earrings would be a great compromise for valentines day.
 
I think earrings are a lovely idea, but I also feel that 3 months is too short a time to give such an expensive present. It might make her feel uncomfortable. I think in this situation it's best to play it safe. Why take a chance? There are so many pretty, less expensive earrings out there. I think pearls might be a nice choice, or gemstone earrings. Hoops are really nice too. I think diamond earrings are more appropriate after you've been dating for a year or longer.
 
I think you should give if you want to. Some people who date for three months barely know each other. They see each other once or twice a week and talk about fluffy stuff. Other people really KNOW each other at three months and are serious; they talk on the phone for hours each night and talk about anything and everything. Only you know how your relationship is. I personally have dated people at three months and would be like :confused: if they bought be expensive stuff so soon and I also have been in a relationship for 3 months and would not blink an eye if they bought me earrings, I would be thrilled.

So I don't think it is necessarily too soon.

I think the Dreams of Africa are pretty but very taste specific. I might stay away from them unless you know what she likes.
I like these: http://www.briangavindiamonds.com/home/ring-details/?product_id=5413
I also like the .50 pair from ID that Loves Vintage mentioned, I would call and make sure they are eyeclean.
I will look around and see what else is in your price range that I like...
 
Hi,

I think it is much too soon for a gift like this. If things go well in the relationship, next Christmas would be nice. I'm sorry, but its a big NO.

Annette
 
I think it's too soon also. What about pearl earrings? Those are much more budget friendly (especially if you go with cultured freshwater pearls) and still a nice gift. I have a set from Honora that includes something like 7 different colors (yes they are dyed/etc but I like them!) Classic white, or pink pearl studs would be a great gift. I also have pink studs from BlueNile that I really like.
 
Life's short-if you can afford it, do it.
 
Only you know! DH got me princess cut bezel studs for our first Christmas together, and that was slightly less than three months into our relationship (although we'd known each other before then).
 
What a wonderful and bright guy you are! :appl:

She's lucky to have you, regardless of whether you buy her the diamond earrings or not.
 
I think it matters a bit about her socioeconomic background. If she's from an upper-middle class family and lives comfortably herself, maybe it wouldn't make her uncomfortable and she would probably be charmed. If you're talking about buying her a gift that's as much as her rent, this might seem odd and, like you said, like you're trying to "buy" her affections.
 
Hi,
Your GF has said that she loves earrings but has lost or broken all of her pairs, which makes me think that possibly earrings may not be the best gift (sorry to say) because she may worry about losing them! If you would like to get her jewelry, maybe a diamond bangle or a solitaire pendant? I would wait a bit longer though...maybe six month anniversary or next valentine's day!
 
This would send me packing. Just saying.

Maybe some nice pearl earrings? If you want to drop bank, plan a weekend out of town or a dinner at the best restaurant in town.
 
MC|1296936108|2844146 said:
Hi,
Your GF has said that she loves earrings but has lost or broken all of her pairs, which makes me think that possibly earrings may not be the best gift (sorry to say) because she may worry about losing them! If you would like to get her jewelry, maybe a diamond bangle or a solitaire pendant? I would wait a bit longer though...maybe six month anniversary or next valentine's day!
Click to expand...

I actually thought the opposite. I figured she would realize he was asking because of the upcoming Valentine's Day. I thought that perhaps she was even hinting that she would like a pair, considering that the "loves" them. LOL who knows...
 
katamari|1296938082|2844188 said:
This would send me packing. Just saying.

Maybe some nice pearl earrings? If you want to drop bank, plan a weekend out of town or a dinner at the best restaurant in town.
Click to expand...

Huh - I was going to say, "Get 'em!" but if there's the chance that they will send some girls packing, it's not worth the risk (me, I would have loved it). Pearls do sound like a nice compromise ....
 
katamari|1296938082|2844188 said:
This would send me packing. Just saying.

Maybe some nice pearl earrings? If you want to drop bank, plan a weekend out of town or a dinner at the best restaurant in town.
Click to expand...

Exactly this. I would strongly advise you against the diamond earrings, or for that matter, any gemstone jewelry. Pearl studs would be fine, but personally, I think a mini weekend trip would be fun for you both and will add to your relationship.
 
Wow, thanks everyone for all of the advice! I suppose it wouldn't hurt to wait a little while before introducing rocks into the relationship. Hopefully the relationship goes well and I will have the opportunity to buy her some diamonds in a more "appropriate" time frame.

It actually dawned on me while I was reading all of the responses that I could go for "womens second love" - Shoes. Stereotype I know, but it can't be too far from the truth is it? I'm thinking a giftcard to DSW now.

It's quite a bit less romantic but i know she would love it.
 
yeah, a giftcard could work but I think those are pretty impersonal. Good present coming from a distant relative but not so much from a boyfriend. I still vote for pearl stud earrings (nice quality freshwater, but not expensive!)
 
Gift cards are a death nell for me. It says, "I know you wear shoes so go buy yourself a pair"... please don't get diamonds or a gift cards.

And actual item from you shows time and effort spend trying to find something she'd like... so it shows that you paid attention to her and that you cared enough to go out a doing some shopping. MUCH better message.

I don't know one woman who wouldn't love a nice handbag... here are a few priced from 500-200 depending on your budget. All would make lovely gifts, and if she doesn't care for it, you guys can go and return and shopping for a new bag together. But most of these are basics most women would like:


. http://www1.bloomingdales.com/catalog/product/index.ognc?ID=475935&CategoryID=17311 Very popular.

http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/kate-spade-new-york-cobble-hill-medium-serena-leather-hobo/3152235?origin=category less expensive kate spade.

http://shop.nordstrom.com/c/handbags?origin=accordion#category=b6024268&type=category&page=2&sort=featured&sortreverse=0&color=&price=&brand=&instoreavailability=false&lastfilter=&sizeFinderId=0 Lovely and perfect for a casual day (in cord or vachetta for colors)

http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/kate-spade-new-york-macdougal-alley-janaya-metallic-leather-hobo/3134381 A little bit of metallic.

http://shop.nordstrom.com/c/handbags?origin=accordion#category=b6024268&type=category&page=8&sort=featured&sortreverse=0&color=&price=&brand=&instoreavailability=false&lastfilter=&sizeFinderId=0&partial=1&pagesize=100 On sale. Three nice colors.

http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/cole-haan-maya-leather-hobo/3125909 Conservative and nice quality.
 
I actually think some nice small (i.e., not overly lavish) earrings are a lovely gesture! IMHO, some tasteful hoops are a great choice.

No to the gift card (although your heart seems to be in the right place... !)

But in an effort to cover all of the bases, let me just suggest this option [kidding -- of course!!!]:

shoe earring.jpg
 
Gypsy|1296945850|2844304 said:
Gift cards are a death nell for me. It says, "I know you wear shoes so go buy yourself a pair"... please don't get diamonds or a gift cards.

And actual item from you shows time and effort spend trying to find something she'd like... so it shows that you paid attention to her and that you cared enough to go out a doing some shopping. MUCH better message.

I don't know one woman who wouldn't love a nice handbag... here are a few priced from 500-200 depending on your budget. All would make lovely gifts, and if she doesn't care for it, you guys can go and return and shopping for a new bag together. But most of these are basics most women would like:


. http://www1.bloomingdales.com/catalog/product/index.ognc?ID=475935&CategoryID=17311 Very popular.

http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/kate-spade-new-york-cobble-hill-medium-serena-leather-hobo/3152235?origin=category less expensive kate spade.

http://shop.nordstrom.com/c/handbags?origin=accordion#category=b6024268&type=category&page=2&sort=featured&sortreverse=0&color=&price=&brand=&instoreavailability=false&lastfilter=&sizeFinderId=0 Lovely and perfect for a casual day (in cord or vachetta for colors)

http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/kate-spade-new-york-macdougal-alley-janaya-metallic-leather-hobo/3134381 A little bit of metallic.

http://shop.nordstrom.com/c/handbags?origin=accordion#category=b6024268&type=category&page=8&sort=featured&sortreverse=0&color=&price=&brand=&instoreavailability=false&lastfilter=&sizeFinderId=0&partial=1&pagesize=100 On sale. Three nice colors.

http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/cole-haan-maya-leather-hobo/3125909 Conservative and nice quality.
Click to expand...

You know, I love all those purses. Gypsy has EXCELLENT taste. Even so, the only human being in my life who has ever given me purses is my mom, so as the result of that, I don't think of them as romantic. Additionally, the only person who COULD give me purses is my mom, as she knows me very, very well: a less familiar person could go wrong in any one of a thousand different ways, from buying something with straps that were too short to too long, to getting something with too few pockets, to getting (horrors!) an open-topped bag, to ... the list is endless.

I'm picky about most things, mind, but I'll give jewelry more of a pass: I just think that shoes need to be tried on, gift-cards are sorta impersonal (honey, I value you X number of dollars!) and purses are considerably more intimate than lingerie.

My votes for gifts at the 3-month mark?

- the aformentioned pearl earrings are classic without being too ... symbolic.

- a nice cashmere scarf/hat/glove type thing (or set) tends to be much appreciated at this time of year, and you can go anywhere from a good quality piece from, like, Loehmann's to the fancy-schmancy kind from Burberry's in the nice bag and all.

- likewise, some of the best gift-giving advice I ever heard: when in doubt, get the smallest possible thing from the best possible store. Tiffany money-clip, Cartier key-chain, etc.

- you know her better than we do: what are her actual hobbies and preferences? I think the gift that touched me most was when my then-best-friend, eventual-husband bought me a Russian palekh box featuring my favorite obscure fairy tale. Talk about knowing someone.

I would, though, stay away from anything too stereotyped (shoes) or too personal (purses, or, for that matter, at this stage of the relationship, lingerie) - those are the things that probably would have sent me screaming!
 
A close male friend of mine came to me with and identical situation - girl he'd been dating for 3 months, wanted to give her a present that said 'I care about you, I'd like to spoil you, I don't want to make you run for the hills'.

I suggested he get a pair of 6 or 7mm pearl studs from Mikimoto. He did, she loved them!

Every girl needs a pair of pearl studs IMO, I wear mine more than any other jewellery I own. Mikimoto is a great brand and the quality is superb. You can get great pearls for less but I guess Miki is my weakness in the way some people will pay more for the Tiffany box! Save the diamonds for the first anniverary!
 
Pandora|1296948062|2844327 said:
A close male friend of mine came to me with and identical situation - girl he'd been dating for 3 months, wanted to give her a present that said 'I care about you, I'd like to spoil you, I don't want to make you run for the hills'.

I suggested he get a pair of 6 or 7mm pearl studs from Mikimoto. He did, she loved them!

Every girl needs a pair of pearl studs IMO, I wear mine more than any other jewellery I own. Mikimoto is a great brand and the quality is superb. You can get great pearls for less but I guess Miki is my weakness in the way some people will pay more for the Tiffany box! Save the diamonds for the first anniverary!
Click to expand...

Like the pearl idea. Or how about one of those "sweetie" bracelets or necklaces from Links of London?


cheers--Sharon
 
The girls over in the Pearl forum helped me find these from Pearl paradise and they are gorgeous on! I got the silver rose overtone with a white gold setting.
http://www.pearlparadise.com/7580-mm-White-Freshadama-Freshwater-Pearl-Stud-Earrings771.aspx

Also, I think something from Tiffany's would be nice if she is into Tiffany's. Around how old is she if you don't mind saying. Maybe something like these.
http://www.tiffany.com/Shopping/Ite...ams=s+5-p+5-c+578594-r+-x+-n+6-ri+-ni+0-t+-k+
http://www.tiffany.com/Shopping/Ite...ams=s+5-p+9-c+578594-r+-x+-n+6-ri+-ni+0-t+-k+
http://www.tiffany.com/Shopping/Ite...7-r+101287465+101323338-x+-n+6-ri+-ni+0-t+-k+ you could get her initial necklace
 
Ok pearls it is.

Any suggestions on where to buy? I know someone said Mikimoto. Are their pearls better than say Tiffany? Should I just go to a standard jewelry store i.e. Zales, Shane Co, Kay??

Again, the feedback from everyone has been wonderful! Thank you all so much!
 
simpleman|1296956604|2844449 said:
Ok pearls it is.

Any suggestions on where to buy? I know someone said Mikimoto. Are their pearls better than say Tiffany? Should I just go to a standard jewelry store i.e. Zales, Shane Co, Kay??

Again, the feedback from everyone has been wonderful! Thank you all so much!
Click to expand...

Is she a classic gal or do you think she'd appreciate a contemporary take on the classics?

Classic http://www.pearlparadise.com/7580-mm-White-Hanadama-Pearl-Stud-Earrings2610.aspx

Classic but different http://www.pearlparadise.com/Classic-Collection-Tahitian-Baroque-Pearl-Dangle-Earrings467.aspx

Contemporary spin (IMO) http://www.pearlparadise.com/8090-mm-AAA-Tahitian-Pearl-Threader-Earrings2179.aspx
 
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