Diamond studs for a man - what size is too big and what color is too low?

[jenibear]

OK. I need some help here.

I''d like to buy my fiance diamond studs as a wedding gift (we''re getting married in August - yay!). He wears small silver hoops now. I liken his look and style to that of Nick Lachey who pulls off those honkers beautifully.

So what size RBs are too big? I was thinking 1 ct total weight - and I want H&A ideal cuts.

I have no knowledge whatsoever of RBs. I''m a fancy girl, so I need help. Mara, care to jump in?

Also, he and I tend to like the colorless stones. My e-ring stones are D-E. That being said, what can I get away with as far as color. I want them to be super white, but I figure I can get more bang for my buck if they are not D-Es.

Many thanks!
Jenibear

 

[valeria101]

And I was looking for a surprise this morning!

One stud or two? How often do you see those around? Sure those will be worn ??? Gee... I hope someone knows how men choose their earrings!

 

[DiamondExpert]

F color for rounds of 0.5ct. or smaller will appear colorless, and you will also be fine with SI1 eye clean clarity grades too.

If you're not too sensitive to the color issue, an H or I in a well cut stone will also look great.

 

[aljdewey]

Ok......now don't get hyper, I'm just gonna ask a question.......




Why is it that all the "size defensive" posters haven't jumped all over this person for asking what's too big? Is it because the diamonds are for a man instead of a woman?




Really, I'm not trying to be a nudge. I want to understand why you think it's okay to ask this question for a man, but not for a woman?

 

[Mara]

No no...it's the too-small size defensive posters that are the troublemakers.

 

[fire&ice]

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On 4/1/2004 1:46:15 PM Mara wrote:


No no...it's the too-small size defensive posters that are the troublemakers.

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I plead the fifth.

 

[sumi]

I thought jenibear was asking about an appropriate size because these earrings are intended for a man. I don't know too many men with two earrings (I'm assuming two because she said "hoopS" and not just "hoop"). I'm only 28 and there are not many men in my peer group who wear any earrings, no less two. That said, I do live in Los Angeles so I see many younger guys wearing the two earring look.

I just think it's a relatively new phenomenon to see men with earrings in both ears, so she wanted to know what he could get away with. That's my take on why there isn't a debate over the size question. To me, there's a bit of a difference between asking an appropriate size for an e-ring vs. asking for an appropriate size for a man's earrings. To be honest, neither question bothers me though.


As for appropriate color: I would say that the same principle as color in e-ring applies here....just go with your personal tastes.

 

[aljdewey]

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On 4/1/2004 5:28:01 PM sumi wrote:





I thought jenibear was asking about an appropriate size because these earrings are intended for a man.

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And that's my point exactly. Why is it OK to ask what size is too big if a diamond is meant to be worn by a man, but it's NOT OK to ask what size is too big for a woman?

A few weeks ago, there was a virtual sh*tstorm here just because a woman posted asking others at what point they felt a diamond was "too big" or over the top. That poor girl got RAKED over the coals by several people....people who were outraged and personally offended that anyone should even *think* a diamond is too big.

But ask that question about a man's diamond, and now it's OK? Complete double standard.

And F&I....you should plead the fifth on this one....and you know why.

 

[CaptAubrey]

earrings on men are only for sailors, hipsters, rap stars, and pro athletes. the first two should stop at 1/2 carat; for the other two, the only limit is their wallet.

 

[glitterata]

Aye, aye, Captain.

I can't wait for the day men start wearing pairs of chandelier earrings. Hm. I wonder if I can convince my hipster, trendsetter friends?

 

[jenibear]

As always, thank you Mara for your advice, honesty and choices. I am at work know so I'll have to give those choices a serious look a little later tonight.

I appreciate the honesty in terms of size.

Yes he wears two earrings now. Yes he'd wear two diamond earrings. His mother bought him one stud once when he was in high school that was a.25 ct. He thought wearing one was silly, so he never wore it and it's since been given away. And to me, it looked kind of small.
We are both 27 and live in Massachusetts, where my boss wears a diamond stud.

For those who are snide, get over yourself, please.

Men can wear whatver the heck they want.

My sweetie is not a jewelry person, except for earrings. If he was I'd get him a diamond for his wedding band. He doesn't want one.


My guy is unlike any other I've ever met. He can get away with clothes that would look questionable on other guys just because of his look, personality and confidence. He's a jock, but he's sweet, he's a career man (goes to work as an investigative journalist wearing a shirt and tie every day) but he's also a lot of fun.
And he never does what other people do, he does what he does.

We will be checking out wedding bands in two weeks and I will be sly and check out diamond studs for him to see what would look right. But I honestly think about .50 ct each would be perfect.

Thanks for all the input.

And I'll post about Mara's choices after I file a story (I too am a newspaper reporter)

Jenibear

 

[Mara]

JB..you note that he had a .25c but he never wore it because it felt silly. Do you think he will want to wear 1ctw then? Has something changed where now you think he'd feel okay with diamond earrings? I think the idea is great, but just figure you should be 100% sure he'd WEAR the things before you do the research and spring for it. Kind of like reverse engagement ring purchasing psychology.

 

[jenibear]

I'm sorry, I must have not explained myself quickly in my haste.

He didn't wear the .25 ct. because there was just ONE. He thought wearing ONE was silly. He thinks wearing a pair is better.

Like I said, we'llbe looking at studs in a store soon to compare sizes, but I thought the .25 was small.

OK, back to work,
Jenibear

 

[glitterata]

Hey, I hope I didn't sound snide. I was being perfectly serious. I don't see why women should have all the fun, jewelrywise.

 

[jenibear]

Let's hope those stones are around in two weeks.
I have a marathon training run Saturday morning and wedding right afterward. And on Sunday a friend and I are having a morning yard sale before I head to work that night, so there's no time to squeeze in a jewelry run! RATS!

I'll be kicking myself if they are the right size and gone by next Saturday afternoon.

Jenibear

 

[valeria101]

I see... It does seem like you koow 300% what you are doing, and the project sounds awesome. More spice to PS

With all the suggestions on Mara's post there is little left to ask about... except the Settings?

 

[jenibear]

Thanks Britchick for sharing your thoughts about your earrings. They sound lovely.

And Val - I was going to wait until after I picked a diamond size to discuss the setting.

I do, however, like the martini setting Britchick is referring to.

I suppose now I need people to weigh in on which setting is safest for everyday wear. He's likely to keep these on his ears all the time.

And just to show he'll wear these, I was talking to one of his friends about the idea who laughed and said, "I think you read his mind." This friend said my fiance had mentioned getting rid of his hoops for a pair of diamond earrings! Yay!

So once I get to a store and check out sizes I'll be back to post my observations and get help on the setting, but if anyone has any ideas, feel free to share!

Jenibear

 

[valeria101]

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On 4/4/2004 1:28:33 PM jenibear wrote:



And just to show he'll wear these, I was talking to one of his friends about the idea who laughed and said, 'I think you read his mind.' This friend said my fiance had mentioned getting rid of his hoops for a pair of diamond earrings! Yay!

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He he! Sounds like the perfect way to make such gifts. Good for you

Does everyone just hate those bezel settings ?

 

[Mara]

Awesome JB! He will be SO excited!

Val...I actually was craving bezel set earrings when I first got interested in diamonds, lucky for me Greg took matters into his own hands and decided to buy me 'classic' round brilliants set into 4 prong setting. Now that the bezel fad is not nearly as hot as it was, I'm glad he deviated from what I *really* wanted at the time, but little did I know that you could just UNSET the diamonds and set into basket settings. So even if he had gotten them for me, to turn them 'classic', we just had to spend another$150 or so on new settings. I think we thought that the diamond, once set into bezel, was forever lost to us. Hehe. We were SO uneducated back then!

 

[pqcollectibles]

JMHO, JB,...... Most guys I've seen tend to go with the basic 4 prong basket setting. Since you say he'll be wearing them 24/7, you might consider heavy butterfly backs or la pousette backs. The posts tend to be longer on the screw back style and many people experience discomfort trying to sleep in them.

Just a couple of suggestions/ideas for you to consider.

This is a neat idea for your FI!! He's gonna luv you for it!!

 

[jenibear]

Thanks PQ.

I had thought of the screwbacks for their security, but good to know comfort may be an issue.

He is very sensitive about the backs of his earrings hitting the side of his neck. Weird I know, but he is. I found that out one day when we first started dating when I hugged him too hard and the side of my arm squeezed his earring into the side of his neck. He yelped!

So can someone explain better exactly what heavy butterfly backs or la pousette backs are. I don't know the difference.

And while I like the martini look, he tends to be more classic in his taste (despite the fact that he wears earrings!), so maybe the four-prong is the way to go.

I already know white gold is the metal.

And I've decided to go for ideal cut H&As that are eye-clean SI1 in a F or G color. I'll give myself more choices with color (up or down) if I find a pair of stones that speak to me otherwise.

I can't wait to get him into a store this weekend to eyeball the stones next to his ears, which by the way, are adorably on the larger side, another reason why I think he can pull off about 1 ct. total weight.

Thanks for all the help!
This is fun!

 

[pqcollectibles]

Butterflies are the "scroll" looking backs that come on most earrings you see anywhere. Heavy butterflies are just that. Bigger and heavier.

LP's are a locking disk type back. You pinch on each side of the back and a metal slide inside opens the hole in the center. When you get the back on the post, the metal slide will slide over and lock onto the post, especially in the notch.

I've had LP's for years and they work great, but I struggle with putting them on. It can be awkward to pinch the disk and hit the stud with the hole. I usually give up and have Hubby or one of the kids do it. Butterflies are easier to put on and take off. And, I haven't had any trouble with the heavy butterflies. The heavy butterflies seem to lock tighter than their smaller cousins.

It's really a personal preference sort of thing. Maybe you could try the LP's and look at the heavy butterflies at a local jeweler's and decide for yourself.

 

[jenibear]

Thanks again PQ.

I think I might do just as you suggested and take a look at the different backs while we're out at the jewelry stores this weekend.

Thanks for explaining, but now I feel dumb.

I should have known what you were talking about. I think that means it's time for some coffee!

 

[britchick]

I'm really liking my la pousette backs and not finding them difficult to put on at all. Having said that, you might want to consider how large and how nimble your finace's fingers are - I can imagine that they would be difficult for big fingers.

As for settings, this may seem like an odd question, but how are his ears angled? My left ear faces to the side more than my right one, so you get a slightly side on view of the earring. One of the things i love about the martini setting is that, side on, you still see lots of stone and very littel setting.

 

[jenibear]

Britchick - that's interesting about the way your ears are angled.

His ears face forward more than sideways I believe, but I will check when I see him tonight!

And I think he may have some trouble with the la pousette backs. He has short stubby fingers.

But if he wears them all the time then it shouldn't be a problem. Hmmmmm......

 

[sumi]

I figure if he is planning on wearing them all the time (even while sleeping) then I think you should concentrate more on the security of the backing rather than ease of putting them on. I mean, if he only has to deal with putting them on and off like once a week or so, then I don't think it really matters if the backings are a bit cumbersome. Let us know how the final product turns out!

 

[hoorray]

Yeah! I love earring projects!

I agree with Sumi -- you need to worry about both comfort and safety. If he is going to wear them all the time, my experience is that it is really easy to have a butterfly back come off when taking a t-shirt type collar off/on. I just got LP backs, and am not having trouble at all now that I have figured them out. Screwbacks might be easier for him, because bigger fingers might be tougher with LPs. However, in general, if he is sensitive, studs might not be comfortable for sleeping compared to hoops. How adverse would he be to taking them off at night if they bother them? If he ends up doing that, I would not go screwbacks -- they are slow to put on and off, and most guys I know wouldn't bother. (Not a sexist comment -- I don't have the patience for it either!)

 

[jenibear]

Sumi and Lop, thanks.

I think you are right about the butterfly backs.
Maybe LPs are best. If he has trouble I'm always around to put them on for him!

I guess I'll have to just go and have a look and see which would be better.

If screwbacks are that much longer than the others, they are a no go. I figure he'll get used to the studs as opposed to hoops. I just want to make sure he's comfortable.

I appreciate everyone's willingness to help. It's making this much easier.

Jenibear

 

[pqcollectibles]

Before I had heavy butterfly backs, I would have heartily agreed with everyone about LP's. Taking LP's off is easy. I have trouble getting them on. Not the pinching part. The lining up the hole to the stud part. Sometimes I hit it the first time. Sometimes I struggle with it. I do like the secure feeling I get when I hear the slide click onto the notch. I definitely know that back isn't going anywhere.

I have heavy butterfly backs on my new diamond studs. I wear them 24/7. Caught them with a hairbrush, on sweaters, a T-shirt or 2, and my studs haven't come off yet. I didn't have the same luck with regular butterflies. The heavy butterflies really do stay on better. They are MUCH larger than regular butterflies as well. And the heavy butterflies click when they hit the notch as well.

Whatever you decide, JB, you can't go wrong. If he tries the LP backs and they don't work well for him, you can easily replace them.

 

[jenibear]

I'm back!
My fiance and I went to look at wedding rings yesterday - abnd while there I sized up some diamond studs.
It turns out my hunch was the right one, .50 ct each ear is perfect.

So I am now in search of 1 ct. total weight round brilliant earrings, ideal cut, H&A (or almost), F-G color and eye-clean SI1.

They will be put in 14 kt. white gold four prong basket settings.

Yay! How fun.

I'll let you know how it goes.

Jenibear