Did I ruin it??

[Bashful]

Ladies I have bit of a dilemma here...

I''ve been talking to my boyfriend about engagements / weddings etc. and knew he was getting my ring made. We''ve been together for a little over a year and a half but have lived together for close to a year.

So a few days ago I came home from a business trip early, and found a bunch of his laundry in the dryer. Since BF wasn''t home, I helped him fold his socks / shirts and took them to his dresser. In his sock drawer, I saw a box the size of my palm, and I couldn''t help but open it to see what it is... And there it is, my beautiful cushion ring; exactly what I wanted!

Since that incident a few days ago, I''ve been checking the dresser drawer every day and trying the ring on. It is just so beautiful... Have I totally ruin the surprise? I promise I wasn''t trying to snoop... Now I feel horrible

 

[sklingem]

I I were your FF/SO/BF and knew about it I would be p*d. Feeling bad about it tells you that it was not kosher, to say the least. My advice: leave it where it is and don't touch it anymore. If that sounds like a punishment: yeah...
time to "redeem" yourself! The surprise though will forever be gone. Maybe that is the saddest part about it.
Cautionary tale to all out there! And the sock drawer really was a bad move on his part ... do men have such little imagination??!

 

[WTNLVR]

Wow. He hid it in his sock drawer??? That''s a really good hiding place-LOL. Stop looking at it! Enjoy the anticipation of the proposal now that you know it is coming. Do NOT let on that you know about the ring- men are sensitive about these things you know

 

[PugLover]

Eeeeek! Don''t keep looking at it! Pretend you never saw it

and try to enjoy the moment when it comes. It will mean so much to your bf.

 

[LostSapphire]

STEP AWAY FROM THE DRESSER.

STOP LOOKING AT IT!!

Yes you should feel bad. So STOP IT!

 

[Octavia]

Bashful, since you weren''t originally trying to snoop, don''t feel awful about finding it. But do stop looking at it! I''m sure that your BF is planning a wonderful proposal for you, so you''ll still have some element of the surprise, even if you know what the actual ring looks like. But...so do a lot of women here. So it''s not like it''s the worst thing in the world. I think the other posters have given good advice about trying to "forget" about it (haha, as if it were that easy!) until he brings it out of the sock drawer himself, though.

 

[Kaleigh]

Don''t feel bad!! But now it''s done, so stop trying it on, and let him do his own laundry.

It''s all good, no worries, can''t wait to see it. Many people here know exactly what they are getting in terms of the ering. Glad your FF got what you wanted. Now the waiting begins....

 

[swingirl]

You better be practicing that surprised look!!!

 

[CNOS128]

See, that''s why I think this whole notion of the "surprise" is so difficult, especially when people are already living together. I mean, you''d obviously talked about the ring a bunch, he knew what you wanted, you knew that he was having it made . . . and, really, it''s not so much the ring that''s the important part, it''s the proposal and the spending the rest of your lives together. He still gets his moment to stare into your eyes and tell you wonderful things and I''m sure you''ll absolutely swoon -- that part''s not ruined at all.

That said -- STOP TRYING IT ON!!!

It''ll be yours soon enough. And, maybe you can get one of his friends or someone to tell him to re-hide the thing in a better place, because that''s just torture knowing it''s right there whenever you want to look...

 

[Blair138]

At least you found it by an honest accident!!! I''ve snooped before (bad I know) but haven''t found anything (which makes me angry

).

Practice your surprise face and come post on here everytime you get the urge to try it on...and when it does happen, tell your FF to get a better hiding place

 

[MoonWater]

Note to self: Don''t do FF''s laundry! lol

 

[ladypirate]

Date: 4/10/2008 12:43:41 AM
Author: MoonWater
Note to self: Don''t do FF''s laundry! lol

LOL! I just pulled a mixed load of our stuff out of the dryer...*checks sock drawer*

Darn! Just socks in there for me.

 

[MoonWater]

Date: 4/10/2008 12:45:38 AM
Author: ladypirate

Date: 4/10/2008 12:43:41 AM

Author: MoonWater

Note to self: Don''t do FF''s laundry! lol

LOL! I just pulled a mixed load of our stuff out of the dryer...*checks sock drawer*


Darn! Just socks in there for me.

I found speedos!!!

 

[ladypirate]

Date: 4/10/2008 12:52:15 AM
Author: MoonWater

Date: 4/10/2008 12:45:38 AM

Author: ladypirate

Date: 4/10/2008 12:43:41 AM


Author: MoonWater


Note to self: Don''t do FF''s laundry! lol

LOL! I just pulled a mixed load of our stuff out of the dryer...*checks sock drawer*



Darn! Just socks in there for me.

I found speedos!!!

Uh-oh...maybe you ruined a different surprise...

"Honey, I''ve been meaning to tell you...I''m actually a water polo player"

 

[MoonWater]

OMG I just peed my pants!!! LMAO!!!

 

[krisvrn]

It was an honest mistake, don''t be too hard on yourself. Be patient and wait for your bf to officially give you the ring. In the meantime, stop looking.

 

[redfaerythinker]

Awwww don''t feel bad. I know it''ll be hard but stop looking at it. STEP AWAY! I know you feel like you''ve ruined everything, but this small foul up will not spoil your big day. All you''re going to care about is that he is asking you to be his wife. It won''t matter at all that you''ve seen the ring already. It will be pure magic. Hey... at least you don''t have to worry about it being perfect and fitting anymore. Oh i''m so paranoid!

 

[hearts-arrows_girl]

I agree with everyone else that you should not open the box any more. Not because it is so bad to play with the ring, but because the more times you disturb its resting place, the bigger the chance that you may put it away differently, and he may notice. Hopefully he has no idea that you have seen it. Let him have his surprise for you! At least now you can rest easy that you are actually going to be getting the ring you want. Now you can spend your time being happy with him instead of anxious, and probably sometimes very frustrated at whether or not he was ever going to get around to getting your ring. Congratulations! You are over the hump. I'm sure there are many LIW's that are still waiting for their guys to even THINK about getting engaged!

 

[Delster]

Bashful, listen up:

STEP. AWAY. FROM. THE. SOCK. DRAWER!

Seriously, it wasn''t your fault you found the ring (silly BF for hiding it there!) and you shouldn''t feel bad about that. But you have to stop going back and trying it on. Let him have this moment, let him do this for you. If you need support to restrain your impulses, read this. Someone on here overheard her BF telling another LIW this and she posted it:

Listen, you KNOW he wants to marry you. You KNOW he is going to get the ring. So my advice to you is.... LET HIM. Just let him do this one thing. It has been drilled in the heads of guys that weddings are YOUR day and they''re about you, and that is totally fine with us. But knowing that, let us have this one thing. Have you ever spent 2 months of YOUR salary on something that you''re going to give to someone ELSE? Its not that easy.Guys have to share all the other stuff with everyone else. When the bride comes down the aisle, he sees her for the first time and its special but everybody else is seeing her at the same time. When he proposes, its HIM that gets to be the one to look into your eyes. He''s going to be the one to see that look on your face when you see the ring. This is his one thing. Let him do it.

It will be worth it!

 

[Bashful]

Thank you so much for all the wonderful advice.

I have not touched his dresser since last night

I know it doesn''t sound like much but it''s a start (and a feat!). I agree with all you PSers that I shouldn''t ruin the surprise for him.

I am going to sit tight and do my best to pretend I NEVER saw anything

and try to get it out of my mind...

 

[Bia]

UH UH..I am sorry BUT we all know that she is not going to stop trying on her ring for as long as it sits in that drawer. Sweetie, for your FF's sake (and yours--bad girl!!!), I hope he finds a better hiding place and stays oblivious to your knowing about the ring.

I would be disappointed too if I found the ring-- I just don't have that kind of willpower to put it back without taking a looksie first. However, the important thing is that you know it will be happening soon--just not when or how--and to be honest, don't most of us know its really just a matter of time? So, no, you didn't ruin it because ultimately, even though we are all here obsessing like maniacs about the ring, its not about that...its about you and him spending your lives together!!!

By the way, CONGRATS **Yayyyy!!!** to having such a sweet and smart BF that got you the ring you really wanted.

So happy for you!!!

 

[Bia]

By-the-way, what does the ring look like???

SORRY SORRY!!! (BAD ME!)

 

[brazen_irish_hussy]

Don''t worry so much. The whole suprise thing is truely silly. You knew he was going to do it, you what the ring looked like, so where''s the suprise?

I wasn''t suprised when my FI proposed to me, but the fact that he did, went to a lot of trouble and just the fact that it was happening made it emotional and perfect. It would not have been any better if I had no clue.

 

[sklingem]

"You knew he was going to do it, you what the ring looked like, so where''s the suprise?"
Based on the first post it is not clear to me that Bashful knew what the rignwas going to look like, just that it was getting made (?) Just because you know tyhat he is going to propose does not make it less of a surprise if you don''t know when/where it is going to happen.

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 4/10/2008 2:01:43 PM
Author: rob09
''You knew he was going to do it, you what the ring looked like, so where''s the suprise?''

Based on the first post it is not clear to me that Bashful knew what the rignwas going to look like, just that it was getting made (?) Just because you know tyhat he is going to propose does not make it less of a surprise if you don''t know when/where it is going to happen.

Well, she said it''s her perfect ring, so unless he''s psychic, she has probably dropped at least a few hints. And, she still doesn''t know when or where it''s going to happen, so that aspect is still a surprise. She''s just got to try to be chill and patient about the whole thing.

 

[sklingem]

Well, now she knows what it looks like

I totally agree with what you said ... chill and look forward to the day when he is going to ask you to share his life!! That certainly is really exciting!!

 

[LaraOnline]

Who cares? Don''t tell him, although your smug smile when he finally pulls it out might just give it away!
And...you''ve also got the reassurance of knowing you like the ring! that''s great!
if you start wearing it around the house when he''s not there, you know you''ve got a problem, just leave it alone now (okay, maybe you can check back in three months...but what''ll you do if it''s gone

)

 

[Bashful]

One more day has gone by and I still haven''t taken a peek at his sock drawer so all is fine and dandy for now. I''m a little antsy because we had agreed to get married at the end of this year and if we were to stick to our plans, we''ll have to start planning right this moment...

I think guys generally have less of an idea how long it would take to plan a wedding, and when I told BF about getting nervous about the tight timeline, he assured me and said, "it''ll be okay -- we''ll stress out together."

Guess there''s not much I could do now...

 

[sklingem]

Good for you. Keep at it! And don''t jump the gun ... first you need to get engaged. Then you can think about the wedding. And yes, guys often underestimate the time it needs to prepare a wedding. And girls oftentimes drive themselves nuts over it. I guess that balances out in the end. Remember: A wedding only has to be as complicated as YOU make it/want it.
Cheers!

 

[LegacyGirl]

Good job