Did you fiance ask for you father''s blessing before proposing?

[Sha]

My DH called and let both my parents know of his intentions. We''re both in our 30''s, and don''t live with our parents -so while it wasn''t absolutely necessary, I still think it''s a good courtesy. The FI is joining the family so I think it''s nice way of ''including'' the in-laws and letting them know of plans to officially begin a new life together.

 

[beesknees]

Since my dad isn''t around, my fiance actually asked my mom. I was so glad he did because she was really hoping that he would!

 

[gtn]

Date: 1/11/2008 12:24:31 PM
Author: ringster
no - he''s only met my dad briefly a few times. but short while after i told my parents we were engaged by phone, i went home to visit and FI called me. my mom was close by and wanted to say hi. she got on the phone and said ''Thank you! Thank you!''. FI was quite amused by this and when i got back on the phone with him, he was asking me why my mom was thanking him! now he gives me a hard time about this . he tells me that she is thanking him for taking me off her hands!

How funny. My mom thanked my FI after I told her too! I think it was because she wants any one of us to get married and start having grandbabies.

 

[sputat]

My fiance asked my dad for his blessing over the phone (he''s retired overseas). He told me he locked his office door, said a little prayer then called my dad. They spoke for about half an hour... what about, I don''t know. He wouldn''t tell me and I don''t really want to press my dad for details. He told me my dad responded "Yes, you have my blessing to marry my daughter.", which cracked me up since I can picture my dad sounding so serious. He also called my mom for her blessing as well. He proposed a couple months later and neither of my parents gave me any hints.

After the proposal, I was so excited to call my folks when my guy told me they already know... I didn''t expect he would ask for my parents'' blessing (we''ve lived together for over 2 years - I''m 29 and he''s 31 then) but I thought it was really sweet of him. This whole thing, proposal, engagement, planning for our wedding... out of the blue, my guy turned completely traditional on me. Feels a little surreal sometimes. LoL

 

[AceP]

my dad is a strident feminist. that would not have gone over very well with him.

 

[dani13]

MH did ask my father for his permission to marry me before he proposed. And to hear DH tell the story of how that went is hysterical! My dad is just like Robert DeNiro in "Meet the Fockers," I am not even kidding. In fact, if my father were in the CIA, that would definitely be him!! Hubby and dad get along, but my dad is just so serious sometimes....it can be somewhat intimidating to those that dont know him well....I can just imagine MH sweating bullets during that conversation!!

My husband is so funny, so when he tells the story of him asking my dad permission to marry me (impersonations and all), I just die laughing....and so has everyone else that has heard it! LOL!

 

[04diamond<3]

Well I have always told my then boyfriend that it would mean the world to me if he asked my mom (I don''t have a dad...) so he did and I was there (becaues we had gone to lunch...) and it was so cute! My mom actually started crying!!! I was so happy because I knew that it meant a lot to her too!

 

[sunnygirl]

I think my FI let him know his intentions but didn''t necessarily ask for permission. The funniest part is my dad called me and when I answered the phone said "Congratulations!" He is not from the US originally so isnt always up on the traditions here. It was a good thing I kind of suspected it would happen that weekend or I would have been kind of sad if the surprise was ruined!

 

[sunnygirl]

Date: 1/10/2008 6:07:09 PM
Author: espressa
No. We had actually discussed this before he proposed, and it was his choice not to, because he had only met my father 2 times in the almost year and a half we had been together, and he said that he would be marrying me even if my dad said no so there was no point to it.

My parents divorced when I was a teenager and I have had a very strained relationship with my father. We have gone several months at a time without speaking to one another, and I see him very rarely, usually only on Christmas and Father's Day. (My father has never lived more than a half hour away from me). Simply put, my mother raised me, not my father.

I had mixed feelings about the whole thing, because I had been hoping that my father and I could put the past behind us and try to have a better relationship now that I was getting married and 'starting a new life', and I knew it would make him feel good to have my FI ask. Now I'm very glad that he didn't ask, because I have had nothing but problems with my father over the wedding, he's definitely not walking me down the aisle, and in the past few months I had been close to uninviting him altogether.

Sorry, that's probably a little more than you wanted to know, lol. The whole situation just sucks and I guess I'm feeling a little disappointed that I won't ever have the kind of relationship with my father that many people do. I know there are a lot of people in my situation, I'm sure, but it hurts nonetheless.

Hi espressa,
I just want to let you know that you are not alone in this. I sometimes feel really jealous of people who have great relationships with their fathers.

 

[iheartscience]

I was a big no on asking!

My dad and my fiance are actually good friends and they hang out/go fishing/do woodworking together. My fiance will go to my mom and dad''s house (about an hour away from where we live) sometimes just to hang out with my dad, and my dad actually told my mom a few years ago that if me and my fiance ever broke up, he''d still be friends with my fiance!

I didn''t want my fiance to ask because I think it''s a sexist and silly tradition (although I have nothing against anyone who thinks otherwise). However, my parents definitely knew we were about to be engaged because I talked incessantly about my ring and diamonds for about 6 months before we got engaged.

 

[Gypsy]

If he had asked by father ANYTHING of the sort I would have been LIVID. My dad and his entire family are NOT invited to my wedding.

However, he COULD have asked my mother and step father. BUT, they would have given him a very very hard time and it would have been ugly. So he didn't. We surprised them with our engagement. The only thing my step father said was, looking at my 1 carat asscher... "How big is that, about a 3/4 carat?" I told him it was a carat but gave me a look like "SURE it is Layla... you go on thinking that." My mother defended my ring (not looking entirely convinced herself) and reminded him to congragulate us, which she did too, if even if the sentiment didn't reach her worried eyes.

They DO like him now and my mother has been looking forward to our wedding and GASP on Wednesday night she told me that as their gift to us for our wedding, they would be giving us cash to help with expenses!!!! They've FINALLY accepted him! It only took 9 freaking years!

 

[Elmorton]

When we were looking at rings, DH told me that he did not plan on "asking" my parents, but rather wanted to be able to sit down with them alone and have a special time to talk with them prior to proposing.

A few days before DH proposed, they did get together to have a lunch, but my mother (who does not drink often) ordered one of those margaritas as big as your head (she was a little nervous) and after about an hour was a little tipsy and just blurted out "SO, do you have something to ask us?!"

Ahhh, nothing like jumping feet first into a crazy family

 

[ringplease]

Yes, my fiance asked both of my parents for permission. I found out after we got engaged that the conversation went something like this... (it was over the phone since my parents live in a different state)

Fiance- "As you know, I have been in love with your daughter for a long time. I would like to ask your permission to ask her to marry me."

Parents (both on separate phones on different floors ouf our house)- "WOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" ......."YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"....... With lots of echoing as they were apparently yelling quite loudly!

Apparently, the screams went on for a while. My fiance said it was like a lifetime. Eventually...

Fiance- "So, is anyone going to say yes?"

Parents- "Of course....Yes....

WOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO"

We have been dating for almost 10 years. They clearly love him quite a bit. I am so glad he asked for their permission and this story just makes me laugh.

 

[LaurenThePartier]

No, but mostly because of timing, not completely because of it being an outdated tradtion.

 

[DMBFiredancer]

i live in CA....my family is in NJ
my FI needed to be in philadelphia for a training (nothing out of the ordinary) so while he was there, he drove to NJ to take my parents out to dinner and ask for their permission. i had no idea he was doing this until i called themt o tell them i was engaged and they said "we knew already...we even saw the ring"

it was the sweetest thing ever and my parents were so thrilled that he asked them first

 

[Octavia]

Date: 1/11/2008 1:25:16 PM
Author: Sha
My DH called and let both my parents know of his intentions. We''re both in our 30''s, and don''t live with our parents -so while it wasn''t absolutely necessary, I still think it''s a good courtesy. The FI is joining the family so I think it''s nice way of ''including'' the in-laws and letting them know of plans to officially begin a new life together.

Same here. My parents haven''t explicitly said so, but I know they were very pleased that he let them know...and they were all excited to be in on the secret before I knew a thing about it! I do think it''s an old-fashioned custom, but I also knew that it would mean a lot to them.

 

[sparklegrrl]

My FI took my dad, step-mom & mom out for lunch... not sure exactly what he said to them whether it was for their permission/blessing. My family is kind of traditional like that, my dad probably would have felt hurt if FI didn''t have the courtesy to speak with him. It was kinda funny, because we had already picked out & purchased the ring (parents knew this), and were a week away from moving into our recently purchased house so it''s not like they could have said no! My FI also spent that day with them planning the proposal, getting everything together and then they were setting up the surprise while FI was getting us to my surprise (I had no idea that anything was going on or that he had spent the entire day with them).

 

[UCLABelle]

JCrow- I am so sorry!!!

As for me, I think it was assumed it was okay, as they helped give ring suggestions, etc...

 

[ephemery1]

Date: 1/10/2008 10:09:24 PM
Author: Haven
My FI asked my father''s permission, of course, because you all know that I''m a traditional girl like that!

I suppose it wasn''t really much of asking permission, it was more of FI stating his intentions and my father giving him his blessing, and it was receiving his blessing that was the really important part to me. As an adult I may be completely independent from my parents, but it was important to me that my FI honor them and the enormous role that they play in my life by stating his intentions prior to the proposal.

My husband called my dad, mom, and both brothers all separately the day before proposing. Not to ask permission, just to share his respect for how much they mean to me, and how much they mean to HIM as family members-to-be. We''d been dating for 3.5 years and everyone was already excited about our eventual marriage, but they were deeply touched and honored to be included in that way.

Then after he proposed, he told me about the conversations he had with each of them... and it added even more significance to the moment for me.

 

[bee*]

Date: 1/10/2008 5:50:15 PM
Author: KimberlyH
My husband let my parents know he intended to propose, but he didn''t ask permission.

D did the same. He didn''t ask for permission but he took my dad for a drink and let him know his plans. I loved that he did it as it meant to much to my dad.

 

[scm1012]

That would be a no for me.

I think my FI was so nervous he probably would have had a heart attack if he''d have talked to my parents. They knew it was going to happen sooner or later and actually made a joke on our engagement night along the lines of ''did FI ask for permission''.

 

[violet02]

My FI asked my dad in person while we were back east visiting our parents before he proposed. I didn''t think it was necessary per se but my dad hinted that he hadn''t been ''asked'' yet and he''s a very traditional kind of guy. He was very happy that my FI went and asked/spoke to him about it. They also had a very nice ''bonding'' type moment and got to talk about a lot of things. My FI said he really had a lot of respect for my father after that.