Did you let her choose her ring?

[Sometime]

Date: 10/27/2007 4:30:00 PM
Author: larry0
Yes Musey going OT fast on this but please see it as I do, spent months(and associated months pays!) doing what she wanted thinking it was going to be perfect and had the rug puled from under me by a change of opinion made on a whim.

Forum posts don''t convey feelings well and probably have come across as a ''nasty bad man''(tm) but I am so -thoroughly- gutted and guessing its this that''s coming across here, deflated to point that if I cant do this right then nothing I ever do will be right. She would love the ring and im 100% positive it would be what she would pick in a window of rings which makes removing diamond and letting her choose another the same seem ridiculous.

Half thinking of getting jeweller to put it in window and hope to god she picks the one I had made.

So from my experience find out what they want and do it within 24 hours!!!

I was reading this thread thinking about my own proposal, and was just reading your story here. I''m not a woman, but perhaps her "changing her mind" could be a subtle hint to you that if you''re not going to get on with picking out the ring and springing the proposal (as far as she knows), she''s not too adverse to helping out as well?

From experience, women aren''t the most direct of creatures, and I''ve often mistaken tact and diplomacy (or for the jaded gents, manipulativeness) on my significant other''s part as something else entirely. Maybe after 4 years she''s just getting a little anxious.

 

[sandia_rose]

Date: 12/3/2007 3:26:57 AM
Author: couturequeen17
If it were me, I''d write down on a piece of paper the 4c range I''d want in to be in and any other specifications(if he won''t let you pick out the actual loose diamond). Then I''d leave print outs of my favorite settings from the actual website or a bridal magazine. It''s a win-win situation. You get a ring you want, and he gets to choose and surprise you.

This is similar to another idea I read about. I would want to be surprised....but if my boyfriend was really leery about picking something for me (which would make sense, given all of the diva-demands and chastizing he got from his ex-wife anytime he did anything) he could buy a stone and present it in a temporary setting. I don''t know how many of you have ever been to the Diamond District in New York, but the stores there have temporary "spring settings." They''re basically like pronged tweezers in a ring shape. You squeeze the edges and the prongs open up, you pick the stone up and you have something similar to a Tiffany-style solitaire. This way, you can "try the stone on" and see how its size strikes you before you choose a setting. Lots of stones look large or look small....and then apper totally different once they''re on your hand or in a setting with other stones or detail. I used to like big honking bling stones and swore for years that I''d never want anything smaller than a 2ct stone. But, when I married my ex and he forced me to pick my own ring, I tried on 2ct stones in temporary settings...and realized that a 2ct in a setting with other stones would look much larger and way more blingy than I''m comfortable with. And add onto that the fact that I''m athletic and into sports - a big stone would get in the way. Which is why, now, I like stones that are no larger than 1.5ct and in simple settings. Vintage rings also tend to feature smaller diamonds, which is another reason why I like vintage (the beauty is in the details of the ring and not in the size of the stones).

For me and anyone else that wants to be surprised but who has a boyfriend who wants you to pick, this is a happy medium. This way, even after a setting was picked, I would still ultimately wear the stone that he chose and proposed with.

The idea of showing him pictures of settings you like and asking him to pick would also work here. You wouldn''t know for sure which you''d get....but it would still be something you wanted.

Bridget in Connecticut.

 

[captainobvious]

I''m renigging. I''m proposing with another ring, and then she and I will be choosing her ring together.

So that I dont duplicate post, heres the thread with details:
https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/so-ive-decided-im-not-picking-her-ring-for-her.74894/

 

[sajc]

A little OT, but here''s my (short) experience with letting her pick a ring...

Well, I wasn''t sure about picking a ring myself, or letting her pick it. I suspected that she''d probably want me to do it, since she (and I) are both very sentimental and really value gifts that have a lot of personal thought and consideration behind them.

My parner doesnt suspect that I''m going to ask her soon(ish). While we were talking (hypothetically of course) about jewellery and our respective tastes, I asked if she''d have me pick a ring, or if she''d like to pick her own, when the time comes ''one day''... her response was "Nah, you know me well enough. You know what I like. I''ll trust you!". She doesn''t wear rings. She doesn''t wear jewellery of any kind very often! Then, sometime later, when I''d forgotten about that previous comment, we walked past a jeweller. I saw this huge ugly ring, I laughed and pointed out how awful it was. She then says to me quite nonchalantly "See? You''ll pick me a good one when the time comes"... well now the pressure''s on! :-\ On the up-side, I think I have a good idea of what she likes and doesn''t like. At least I have some excuse now if she doesn''t like it

SAJC

 

[FrekeChild]

With my BF and I, we went ring shopping once, looked at some diamonds and then he went home and played video games, and I went home and thought about what I really wanted in an engagement ring. I ended up taking the diamond out of the equation (I stand to inherit one from my mom someday, and I''m afraid of losing one anyway) and tossing in a blue topaz. When I told my boyfriend about this, he basically said, whatever I want, he just wants to make sure that I like it. But that he would also want to know if I didn''t like it, so we could do something about it.

I''ve always said that I didn''t want to pick out my e-ring, that if I were getting married, I should think that my fiance would know me well enough to pick out something that I like without my input. And while he does know me that well-I''ll occasionally pull out a jewelry catalog and make him pick one piece that he thinks I''d choose, and he''s right every time- I still like the idea of picking out what I want. So our happy medium is that I''ve drawn out plans that include a solitaire and a blue topaz, but he''ll have to pick out the actual setting himself. Which I don''t think he''s figured out yet, because we''re not that far into it yet.

I think you should propose with the ring you have. I think that she''ll love it, regardless of not being able to pick it out herself, and whatever stance she has on the subject. I think that most woman want to be surprised with a ring. Yes, sometimes it doesn''t go as well as planned, and she doesn''t end up with exactly what she wanted, but I think that sometimes the ring becomes the focus of the engagement, but it''s not. A man and woman want to spend the rest of their lives together, and no matter what, it''s the relationship that''s going to flourish, and the ring is just a symbol and a trinket to cherish.

I''m wondering if you''ll come back though, and let us know what happened...your original post was kind of a while ago...