Did you take his name?

[ephemery1]

I plan on taking FI''s name, but only because I don''t feel strongly enough about my maiden name to make an issue out of it. No publications to worry about yet, maiden name on my degrees is no big deal, and I''d rather not have to spend the next 50 years explaining why our names are different. I also agree with Mara that there''s something kinda fun about taking on a new identity for the next chapter of my life.

FI doesn''t mind either way... he actually likes my last name better and occasionally suggests I just keep it. I sometimes toy with the idea of taking his name but pronouncing it differently (reverting back to original French pronounciation) because I think it flows better with my first name.

Interestingly, a friend of mine took his wife''s last name when they got married recently. He had no attachment to his birth father so didn''t mind losing his, and there were no sons in his wife''s family so this way they''re carrying on her unusual name together. Pretty cool, I thought!

 

[LizzieC]

I just changed my name on Monday!

Well driver''s license and social security at least.

I am now Mrs. First Maiden HusbandsLast (dropped the Middle and traded it for the Maiden). I''m still getting used to it though, and find myself using both last names a la Hilary Rodham Clinton...

I''m not super traditional, but I definitely want to have the same last name as my future kiddos... and to me it just makes it all more official...

 

[LizzieC]

Date: 7/6/2006 12:10:46 AM
Author: ephemery1

Interestingly, a friend of mine took his wife''s last name when they got married recently. He had no attachment to his birth father so didn''t mind losing his, and there were no sons in his wife''s family so this way they''re carrying on her unusual name together. Pretty cool, I thought!

I''m working on getting DH to change his middle name to my maiden name, so both our names are First MyMaiden HisLast... His initials wouldn''t change and he doesn''t do anything with his middle name, so I think it''s only fair. It might take a few years to convince him, but I''m tenacious!

 

[aussiegirl23]

Just figured I''d throw in my .02...

I''ll be taking my man''s last name when the time comes. I guess I''m a bit of a traditionalist. I also love his last name (sounds unique, pretty, interesting, etc...) as opposed to mine, which is pretty hard to pronunciate, not very interesting and one I don''t really like. My man also shared his feelings on the subject, and to him, it''s a traditional thing that would make him very proud. To me, it''s an exciting change that I''m looking forward to. Also, if/when we have kids, it is a lot easier to have all the same name...

Aussiegirl : p

 

[FireGoddess]

I hyphenated and use my maiden for work, as name recognition goes with the job.

 

[Gypsy]

I don''t like his mother. And she''s Ms. Hislastname. If it weren''t for her I''d take his name-- but use my last name as my new middle name. I may still take it. We''re negotiating. It''s a long running discussion with us.

 

[Mara]

random late night thought....but this discussion reminded me of these two women i worked with a while back who had these really odd hyphenated names. it was like a mishmash of multiple different nationalities, and you'd always do a double take when you typed it into email or something. does anyone think about this when they hyphenate...like what sort of funky outcome you might get? i kind of like the whole making the maiden name the middle name thing better than hyphenating...kinda interesting.

 

[JulieN]

He (my last bf) doesn''t have a middle name, and I would LOVE for him to take my last name as his middle name.

 

[hlmr]

I took my husbands last name. Didn''t think twice about it.

My friend didn''t take her husbands last name as it would have given her way too many vowels and hyphenating would have made her last name sound like what a kitty-cat says....Mio-Au. lol

Mara, I just started cracking up when I read your new tag line.

 

[KristyDarling]

I kept my last name. It''s a really unique last name with an interesting multicultural history and I couldn''t bear to part with it. Plus, it''s so ME.

I identify with it strongly and would''ve felt like I lost a part of me if I gave it up. My DH didn''t have an opinion about me changing my last name, he woulda been fine either way but was totally supportive of my decision.

 

[tanyak]

Date: 7/6/2006 2:36:35 AM
Author: Mara
random late night thought....but this discussion reminded me of these two women i worked with a while back who had these really odd hyphenated names. it was like a mishmash of multiple different nationalities, and you''d always do a double take when you typed it into email or something. does anyone think about this when they hyphenate...like what sort of funky outcome you might get? i kind of like the whole making the maiden name the middle name thing better than hyphenating...kinda interesting.

I think people hyphenate because they want their last name to be said. For example, if your name is Jane Smith Jones, I think people still have a tendency to drop the Smith (I''ve seen it happen). But if your name is Jane Smith-Jones, the hyphen seems to make it clear that the whole thing is your last name, not just Jones.

I answered in the other thread, too, but I''m planning to keep my last name. I''ve planned to keep it since I was a teenager and FH was still far in the future!

I''m not close to my father at all, but I love my last name, and I want to continue actually using it and not just keeping it as my middle name or something. I would consider hyphenating, but my last name has eight letters and FH''s last name is 10 letters. Plus he has a Spanish last name that I can''t pronounce correctly because I can''t roll my Rs. Frankly, it''d be silly to take a name I can''t even say correctly! I''m already dreading when we have kids and I have to give their last name (they''ll have his). Maybe I''ll just give them mine insted!

 

[fire&ice]

I''m

First, Maiden, hubby''s name - no hypen.

If you plan on changing your last name, please go through the Social Security hoop. I didn''t and years later they refused my "personal deduction" because I didn''t exist as named in the Social Security register.

 

[galeteia]

It''s so interesting to hear other people''s choices and the reasons behind them!

Part of the reason why I''m keeping my name is that I am passionately attatched to my name and my heritage, of which I know I good deal about, whereas my FF isn''t as keen on his name or family history-- read: not a family history buff.

Also, my name is very unsual and always mispronounced, unless the viewer is from the UK. It''s the traditional Gaelic spelling of the name ''Kate''. Coupled with my last name, my name is as Scottish as ''Seamus Patrick O''Grady'' would be for the Irish.

People often have no clue what gender I am, and if I took my FF''s fairly ambigious last name, I would confuse even my fellow Scots out there.

 

[FireGoddess]

Date: 7/6/2006 2:36:35 AM
Author: Mara
random late night thought....but this discussion reminded me of these two women i worked with a while back who had these really odd hyphenated names. it was like a mishmash of multiple different nationalities, and you'd always do a double take when you typed it into email or something. does anyone think about this when they hyphenate...like what sort of funky outcome you might get? i kind of like the whole making the maiden name the middle name thing better than hyphenating...kinda interesting.

My hyphenated name was definitely not my first choice - not because they don't sound okay together but because of the sheer number of syllables. It's great if each name has just 1 syllable...but mine has three and his has two, so it's a long last name. However, some people, upon seeing the name, still just say one or the other, and not the whole thing in its entirety. I do like being able to have name recognition for stuff - ie. if someone writes a check to me with my maiden name, or just his last name, or any combination thereof, it's never a problem because my last name has both names in it now.

Most people in my profession do not take their husband's name. They are simply Jane X and Joe Y, and then they sort out what the kids last names will be. Usually the husband's last name. But I'd like to have the same last name (or at least part of it) as my future kids, for lots of reasons including travel, security, etc.

I know a person who decided to take part of her name, part of his...and create a new name for both of them with it!

 

[galeteia]

Date: 7/7/2006 10:44:59 AM
Author: FireGoddess

I know a couple that did that too, but each of their names were one syllable long. Lucky! My FF''s name is one syllable, and mine is three.

I wonder if I could take his name before mine, and not hyphenate? So FirstName MiddleName, HisName MyName? That way, I would have both, but be still recognizable in my field by my maiden name. Would that work, do you think?