Dishonest Cleaning Help

[crafftygrrl]

I have a dilemma.

I think my cleaning help took two pairs of earring that are worth about $3,500. I don''t keep my jewelry in view at all. It is always out of sight. I keep my major expensive stuff in one place, out of view, not easy to get to, but not locked up either.

I have a 10+ year relationship with the cleaning lady and up to now, no problems. She has two women who work with her. One is new.

The "missing" earrings are a pair of Elizabeth Locke peridot/pink sapphire (below) and the other is a pair of Saint Sterling Silver 18K and diamond hoops with bee charms that I picked up in December.

At first, I thought I had misplaced the Saint earrings. I had been wearing them frequently and I thought I put them in the drawer by my bedtable. I couldn''t find them and searched the house. In the past, my jewelry has turned up. Then, I went to the place where all my truly expensive stuff is and noticed that my Locke earrings were missing. I also went to the safety deposit box too. I have gone through the house and SEARCHED and SEARCHED and SEARCHED. I have not found them. My cleaning help is the only people who have had access to the house other than my family.

The thing that''s weird is that the peridot earrings were just about the least expensive thing there. I need to check my insurance rider, but I am fairly certain that the peridot earrings are covered. I need to call my insurance agent to find out the procedure to be reimbursed.

My dilemma, do I:
1. Fire the cleaning lady outright, and say I am reporting this to the police.
2. Print out a picture/drawing/description of the earrings and offer a reward for the earrings return.
3. Tell the cleaning lady I am missing jewelry and if anything else is missing, I am going to call the police.

After sleeping on it, I really think that I have to fire her. It''s a shame because she is honest. She is just buying a house, too.

I am also calling a locksmith to change my locks.

 

[Lorelei]

I am sorry about this. If the original cleaning lady has been working for you for 10 years and has two other women with her, one of which is new, do you think maybe you could talk to the original lady and tell her these are missing and ask her if maybe she or one of the others have put them somewhere or seen them? This way it gives your first lady an opportunity to know you are willing to work with her after all these years instead of accusing her outright and then once they all know you are missing the earrings you might find they turn up...... The first lady has been with you a long time and you have always found her to be honest, if you get her to work with you maybe giving her a chance initially would be the way to go at first but make it clear that if they aren't found you will have no choice but to contact the police. If it turns out she is involved and the police are needed then you can fire her in good conscience. Getting the locks changed is a good move as you are missing things. I am sure you will get better advice than this from other PSers who may employ a cleaner. I hope the earrings turn up and you find a way to resolve this. Maybe it might be an idea to give these cleaners a leave of absence until you get to the bottom of this, then you will know whether to continue with them or not depending on the outcome.

 

[february2003bride]

Crafftygrrl-

Are you sure you want to end a 10 year working relationship with the person? If you don''t think it is her but possibly the new cleaning woman, then she needs to know so she can fire her. However, I understand the feeling, like you''ve been violated and all trust is gone. We had someone take our house key (one of many contractors that we''ve had in our basement for estimates) and now, I''m not going with ANY of the contractors b/c I don''t know who it was. And to add insult to injury, we had to pay $350 to have all of our locks changed.

Good luck and keep us updated.

Carrie

 

[diamondlil]

If the cleaning lady, who you have a 10-year relationship with, has others working for her, it seems like maybe one of them could be the thief. If your lady was going to take something, woudn't she have done it before now?

I would probably talk to the lead cleaning lady about it and see what her reaction is. It is possible that you are not the only customer who has had a complaint, and maybe the helper will be fired. You'll still need to contact your insurance company to work out reimbursement or replacement.

If it was not the lead lady, I feel bad for her to lose a 10-year account because of the sticky fingers of one of her workers. If after talking to her you still feel uncomfortable with her in your home, you'll have to let her go, but I would not change the locks just yet.

 

[crafftygrrl]

Thanks Lorelai, Feb Bride and Diamond Lil.

I am very conflicted. I really personally like my cleaning lady. I think she is honest. She is like many immigrants to the US, hardworking and wants to make a better life for her kids. I think I will take her aside and let her know what has happened and gauge her reaction. However, I am going to bring most of my stuff to the safety deposit box.

She comes on Wednesday. I hate strife and conflict.

 

[strmrdr]

You insurance company will likely want a police report filed under those conditions so you may not have a choice.

If it was me id talk to the cleaning lady and say there was 24 hours for them to show up and if she wanted to continue working for you it had to be gotten to the bottom of.
If its proven the new lady did it id keep the other 2 on as long as they were helpfull in tracking it down.

If it cant be proven who did it I wouldnt allow any of them in my house.

 

[eks6426]

Is your cleaning lady and all her staff bonded and insured? There might be some recourse through that IF you can prove the staff took them.

 

[diamondlil]

Storm is right. When you talk to the lead lady, I would make it perfectly clear that if either the rings do not turn up or her helpers are fired, then you will have no option other than to let her go too. Without resolution to this, you will have no choice. I think the lead lady will be very anxious to find the truth when her job is on the line.

I don''t have a cleaning lady, but many of my friends do. It is very hard to find just the right match and someone you can trust. After 10 years with this woman, the thought of finding a new person will be difficult too.

 

[BrownEyes]

I agree that you have to speak to the head cleaning lady - especially because she''s been with you for 10 years, but also because if a member of her staff is dishonest, she (the head cleaning lady) really needs to know about it.

When you speak to her, however, I suggest that you proceed cautiously. Try to strike a balance between disclosing your suspicions in a tactful way and making an outright accusation. Remember, initially you thought you had mis-placed 1 pair of earrings. It''s still possible the earrings are mis-placed rather than missing, and that they may eventually turn-up.

You may therefore want to alert the head cleaning lady about both pairs of missing earrings, and give her the photos you posted here. Without being accusatory, suggest that she and her staff keep an eye out for the items while they are cleaning your house. Let her know how much they mean to you, so she can tell her staff. You can mention the procedure for possibly filing a report for insurance purposes. I suspect if a member of the cleaning staff has the earrings, they may turn-up in response to this strategy, without risking the demise of a 10 year relationship with a cleaning lady you really seem to like and trust.

Best of luck to you!

P.S. I especially love the peridot earrings - - I hope they turn-up for you!

 

[crafftygrrl]

The peridot earrings do have special meaning for me.

My mother died May 1, 2004. Even though her death was expected, I was still devastated. My DH got the peridots for me as a really nice Mother''s Day present. My DH said he just wanted to see me smile again. Eeesh, I am tearing up.

I really want them back!!!!

 

[aphisiglovessae]

I''m so sorry to hear that this has happened to you. I wouldn''t jump to conclusions and fire her without giving her the opportunity to speak her version of the truth. It''s possible that the new person took it or something else may have happened. You have a 10 year relationship with the head lady and I think that''s way long enough for you to have a talk with her and find out what she thinks happened. In past experiences I''ve had with cleaning services (at work) that have klepto fingers, I usually just left a note on my desk saying "whoever took ________ had better return it soon or the police will be contacted" It usually worked. However, I don''t think doing it to a person you have such a long relationship with, will work as well. I say just have a talk with her and ask her if she''s seen them and what she thinks may have happened to them.

 

[Mara]

I agree with the others re: discussing this with the head gal esp since you do have the 10 year relationship. It''s VERY HARD to find reliable cleaning help that you can trust...my friends have gone through a few various people and it seems like most of them always tend to take SOMETHING, aka my friend said she would take his washcloths (random), someone else said she''d take their cleaning supplies etc. My third friend has someone that the others now all use but she stays home when the gal is there cleaning the house, she won''t leave them alone in her house even though she has been using her for ~2 years now.

I highly doubt that the head gal would jeopardize your relationship and you as a customer for a pair of $3500 earrings or similar...but the other two gals may not care. I agree re: approaching her and being calm and respectful, keep in mind that she probably gets this all the time, who is the first person that people blame for missing jewelry? The cleaning lady!

Also think very carefully, has anyone else been in your house recently without supervision at all times? A cable guy, carpet cleaner, fairly new friend, anyone?? This sounds so cynical but I really hate letting anyone into the house that I don''t know because in general people are wackos and I have heard too many horror stories about people in the house unattended. Anyway, good luck with finding them and the whole scenario...what a horrible thing to have to go through.

 

[EdSkinner]

Sorry to hear of your loss. The cleaning staff is the prime suspect, but your family has also had access to them. You said that the peridot earrings were left to you from your mother, is there anybody in your family who may have had eyes on the earrings too? Sorry to play the devils advocate, but before you accuse somebody, make sure all other possibilities have been looked into.

 

[fire&ice]

This exact same thing happened to a friend except a watch w/ sentimental value was taken. She had the same cleaning lady for years & then took on a helper. My friend filed a police report immediately. Turns out the "helper" had a record. They were able to track down the watch to a pawn shop. This all transpired within days. So, if you going to act - act quick. She ended up firing the head cleaning lady as the "help" was a relative & she just felt funny having her in the house again. Yes, she did change the locks.

Good luck. It definitely worth a chat w/ your cleaning lady sooner rather than later.

 

[ame]

Another vote for going to the head first.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I agree with everyone else. I would just talk to her. Let her know you are missing something and maybe she will get the hint and talk to her staff. Could you have just misplaced them? I think checking pawn shops is a good idea if you think they are stolen. There is a member (I forgot her name!) on here that had to sell her jewelry years ago and found her beloved ring in a pawn shop. I know it is a different situation but it still was an amazing story. I will be keeping my fingers crossed. I really hope you find them!

 

[Kaleigh]

Claudia,
I am sooo sorry to hear this. I agree with Storm and would follow it to the letter. It was very good advice. I pray you get them back. Hugs, Lisa

 

[KittenKat]

I started my jewelry obsession when I was VERY young... and my parents were always extremely generous with me. That said, we had a cleaning lady who worked 3 or so days per week for probably about 14 years.

When I was about 13ish - one at a time, my earrings would disappear. First a 1/2ct diamond stud, then a 1ct Columbian emerald. (I know - a bit much for a young girl...) But my parents thought I was the one who would lose them. In fact, I was convinced, I had misplaced them and looked for them for quite some time.

Then an amazing emerald and diamond pendant went missing. Next, a nice diamond ring my grandmother had gotten for me...

Finally - my mother started getting suspicious. Especially, when a 2ct diamond stud of hers went MIA. (The cleaning lady, blamed the cat... and my mom trusted it was the truth. hadn''t she been with us long enough to trust her?)

Well, long story shorter - she ended up being the one stealing. And each time she stole, was something a little bit bigger.

My mom loved her dearly and didn''t want to believe the woman she had working for her, for so long, would do something so dishonest.

She ended up not showing up for work after she was confronted. We never got anything back, nor did we ever hear from her again.

Be careful, while 10 years is a long time to build a great trust - sometimes people fall into hard times and become desperate.

I am terrified of leaving anyone in my house without me there, after this experience.

 

[MrsFrk]

Definitely talk to the woman you''ve known for 10 years.
I mean what''re you gonna do if you fire her? Not hire a new cleaning person? Start from scratch with someone you don''t have a relationship with, and follow them from room to room? You might was well clean yourself in that case!

 

[kaylagee]

my great aunt just had a tennis bracelet stolen by her help. In this case the cleaner was someone new, recommended by a neighbor. ;/

I''d ask the long-time employee first...she could help you search a bit more?

If the two of you don''t find them...maybe word would filter to the thief and they might reappear?

Has the first woman acted strangely/different recently? If not, my guess is that it''s someone new.

 

[colormyworld]

Some people will take the easy way to get what they think they want. Temptation is a powerful force. I think if you will have people who you don''t know very well in your home I think you should take proper precautions. I am not saying anything is your fault. Just pointing out a flaw in security. The easiest solution would be to get a good heavy vault. (safe) that will do away with the temtation factor.
I never felt comfortable leaving my house until I got one. Now my mind is at ease when I go out.
Doug

 

[MiniMouse]

I am so sorry, this is an awful thing to happen. You''ve had some wonderful advice here and I go with those who suggest you take your 10-year loyal cleaning lady aside first and also give her photos of what is missing. I''m keeping everything crossed for you in the hope that your missing items are returned and you can fire the culprit and not the innocent ones.

 

[perry]

You need to talk to the head cleaning lady immediately - and you need to tell her that unless you have them back within 24 hours that you will be contacting the police. While there is a reason to be polite about it, politeness also involves telling her the truth about the process.

I suspect that she will be more than willing to help locate them.

You should suggest a joint search of the room (rooms) to verify that you did not miss anything on your intitial search (this way she will feel that you are making her part of the solution - something she should be involved in).

If it turns out to be a helper I think she will fire them fast. You need to be carefull where you place the blame.

Perry

 

[crafftygrrl]

Hi everyone,

Thanks for your support.

I spoke with the head lady. She was shocked; and I believe her. She offered to pay for the earrings over time. But I said no. This would be too much of a hardship on her. She did talk to her cleaning staff. Predictably, they said they didn''t take them. She said she let one of them go.

However, after much agonizing, I decided I could no longer continue her services. The one girl who remained would resent me; and sometimes my teen-aged kids are home alone with the cleaning staff. So I felt it was a safety issue too.

I have changed the locks on my house to the non-copyable kind and have installed a heavy duty safe bolted to the floor. It will deter casual persons who come into my home.

I have also decided to use a real cleaning service that is licensed and bonded, and gives their employees health insurance benefits. I feel better about that morally too. It will probably be more expensive, but that''s life.

I am going to do one more thorough sweep of the house over the weekend. If I find nothing (which is what I expect), then I''ll contact the police on Monday. The head cleaning lady is aware of this and will be cooperative.

 

[diamondlil]

What a difficult decision to make. I''m glad you finally talked to the lead lady, but I''m sorry that you still had to let her go. I''m sure the cleaning lady will be much more careful about who she hires to help her in the future because she won''t want to lose any more long-time clients because of her staff. Good luck finding a replacement service. I ten-year relationship is going to be hard to replace.

Keep us posted if anything turns up and let us know how the police report goes, if indeed you need to file one.

 

[MiniMouse]

I''m so sorry you had to release your loyal cleaner, even though you don''t believe she stole your jewelery. However, you have to follow your gut instinct and do what you think is right for you and your family. It sounds like you''ve installed good precautions for the future and using a licensed and bonded cleaning service sounds like a good idea.

 

[perry]

Unfortunatley I do not believe that "just" using a liscensed and bonded cleaning agency is actually any better in the end. People are people - and some people are outright dishonest - others can be tempted (and sometimes based on what else is happening in your life). Bonded cleaning services have their problems too - one of the reasons you have to pay a higher rate is that you are in fact paying for the cost of the bond - which is based on their claims record and/or the industry claims record. Your insurnace on your jewelry is the same thing.

I feel that the most important precautions you have made is to have a jewelry safe to prevent casual theft. I believe you know that it would not stop a professional.

Changing your locks solves a possible immediate issue that someone may have a copy of the key (that may or may not exist); but really does not improve things long term. Keys can always be duplicated - dispite the advertising and what you were told about how unduplicatable your keys are. The equipment to duplicate any key blank and any key are readily available (including the "custom" cut ward pattern). All so called "unduplicatable" keys with "unique" ward patterns do is move the duplication process from a routine get a copy at a local store to someone with professional equipment - which only stops the amatures. I should note that often people can enter houses without keys at all (a good lock does not make a door secure by itself; there are a lot of unsecure doors out there; and windows are often easier yet).

I am sorry that you felt you had to let this lady go. Finding good cleaning help has always been difficult. In fact - I can''t find any (and I tried). I''d love to have a cleaning lady - and I would have paid them very well.

Perry

 

[aphisiglovessae]

Date: 2/12/2006 10:45:31 AM
Author: perry
Unfortunatley I do not believe that ''just'' using a liscensed and bonded cleaning agency is actually any better in the end. People are people - and some people are outright dishonest - others can be tempted (and sometimes based on what else is happening in your life). Bonded cleaning services have their problems too - one of the reasons you have to pay a higher rate is that you are in fact paying for the cost of the bond - which is based on their claims record and/or the industry claims record. Your insurnace on your jewelry is the same thing.


I totally agree. Me and my mother have both had problems with what we thought were professional honest cleaners that big companies hired. Almost every day something was taken from someone''s desk. They were also licensed and bonded, so just because they have a piece of paper and charge more, doesn''t mean they''re any more honest.


I feel that the most important precautions you have made is to have a jewelry safe to prevent casual theft. I believe you know that it would not stop a professional.


Changing your locks solves a possible immediate issue that someone may have a copy of the key (that may or may not exist); but really does not improve things long term. Keys can always be duplicated - dispite the advertising and what you were told about how unduplicatable your keys are. The equipment to duplicate any key blank and any key are readily available (including the ''custom'' cut ward pattern). All so called ''unduplicatable'' keys with ''unique'' ward patterns do is move the duplication process from a routine get a copy at a local store to someone with professional equipment - which only stops the amatures. I should note that often people can enter houses without keys at all (a good lock does not make a door secure by itself; there are a lot of unsecure doors out there; and windows are often easier yet).

Once again I totally agree... Perry did a good job on this post.

I am sorry that you felt you had to let this lady go. Finding good cleaning help has always been difficult. In fact - I can''t find any (and I tried). I''d love to have a cleaning lady - and I would have paid them very well.

I can''t afford cleaning service for my home, so I have NO CLUE about how hard it is to find good help. I can only imagine... I just don''t trust ANY stranger in my home.

Perry

 

[glitterata]

I''m sorry you fired the woman who worked for you well and honestly for ten years, though I can understand how you felt.

Do you have your personal papers in a secure place? A friend of mine was the victim of identity theft. It turned out the people from his cleaning service (a professoinal, insured, bonded service) had copied bank statements etc. and used them to open lines of credit in his name. Not to sound paranoid, but you might consider investingating to make sure nobody''s done that to you.

 

[RockDoc]

Some Insurance Information.


Hopefully you had the earring scheduled for coverage with an ALL RISK RIDER. In most insurance company policies, for items not with scheduled coverage, only a provable theft is generally covered. This usually means evidence of a break in i.e broken door, window lock etc. Damge, breakage, mysterious dissappearnce is not covered.

Scheduling the items of jewelry is a safe way to not be funding a potential loss from you pocket. Read your policy - it spells out what is and what isn''t covered and under what conditions. It also states how a claim is to be settled/paid.

Rockdoc