do i really want this ring?

[radiantquest]

ok, i have posted on here that i found "the ring". well i overthink everything and want your opinions on this...
when i saw the ring i loved it, now as i think about it i think it is mighty small. they dont make a bigger version, if they did this would be easy. so do you think i should stick with the one i picked even though it is only .75 tcw or choose a larger one that is made differently. i am so torn! i think that the small one is going to look even smaller around the rings of my friends and coworkers and there is alot of room in budget ( this one is half the budget). but at the same time i have looked at larger rings and none of them have given me the flutter in my belly that the tiny one has. i just dont want to have any regrets. please help

 

[jcarlylew]

do you have a picture?
Honestly, i would go with the "flutter" in your heart rather than the envy and go bigger.

I know how you feel about not wanting to feel envious, but i can only imagin that once it is on your fingers after the big question is popped, you wont have those feelings right anymore.

 

[fieryred33143]

Date: 8/19/2008 4:12:47 PM
Author: jcarlylew
do you have a picture?
Honestly, i would go with the ''flutter'' in your heart rather than the envy and go bigger.

I know how you feel about not wanting to feel envious, but i can only imagin that once it is on your fingers after the big question is popped, you wont have those feelings right anymore.

Ditto.

When you start playing the game of who has a bigger ring, you''ll never win. Someone else may come in with bigger/better.

 

[cbs102]

This ring is a symbol of YOUR love with YOUR future fiance and truthfully has nothing to do with what other women are wearing. you fell in love with the smaller ring for a REASON... and the fact that it gave you "flutters".. then that should be your answer

 

[trillionaire]

you have room in your budget, I am going to be the dissenting voice and say keep looking around. I keep hearing people talk about "shrinkage" on here, so if you think it''s small now, it will probably seem even more small later. If you look around and nothing strikes your fancy, so be it. It might just be too early to be settling...

 

[ams0124]

I agree with everyone...

Your e-ring is meant to be something special between you and your SO....It doesn''t need to stand up against other e-rings...There is no prize for the person with the biggest stone or most expensive ring.

I definitely say that you get the one you love and if the one you love is smaller than everyone elses...so be it, there''s absolutely nothing wrong with that...even if your budget allows for one larger.

Just think about what you and your SO could do with the other half of the e-ring budget that you don''t use?!?! You can get the ring that you were originally drawn to in the first place....and maybe even go on a nice little getaway or something...best of both worlds...Just because you have the money doesn''t mean you have to spend it all....my personal opinion anyway.

Hope that helps somewhat

 

[Izzy03]

There will always be someone with a bigger ring, but if you think you will regret getting the smaller stone, I would try to get a reputable jewelry to recreate the ring with my choice of stones. It wouldn''t hurt to look around and see if this could be done.

 

[katamari]

1) For the record, .75 is not small--it is bigger than the U.S. average. You have been bitten by the PS bug. When this happens to me, I stop looking at SMTR and start looking at what people around me are wearing (and I live in a large metro area).

2) Do you want to break up with your BF whenever a friend gets a hotter or buffer date? Are you rethinking him because you have seen Brad Pitt or David Beckham?

3) Will your engagement or marriage mean less to you because you have a ''small'' e-ring? Of course, not, right?

So it seems to me like you have already answered your own question--go with the one you love.

 

[sklingem]

Radiantquest -
if the opinions and the diamond sizes of your co-workers are more important to you than the look of the ring that gives you the flutter in your belly - then you should rethink it. Upgrading is also always an option if you worry about the size of your stone. But as others have said - don''t get caught in the rat race for ever increasing size. You will lose that one. Especially on PS! LOL

 

[cbs102]

Date: 8/19/2008 4:47:30 PM
Author: katamari
1) For the record, .75 is not small--it is bigger than the U.S. average. You have been bitten by the PS bug. When this happens to me, I stop looking at SMTR and start looking at what people around me are wearing (and I live in a large metro area).

2) Do you want to break up with your BF whenever a friend gets a hotter or buffer date? Are you rethinking him because you have seen Brad Pitt or David Beckham?

3) Will your engagement or marriage mean less to you because you have a ''small'' e-ring? Of course, not, right?

So it seems to me like you have already answered your own question--go with the one you love.

funny. i tend to think that my fi is hot hot hot... he gives brad and david a run for their money!!!

 

[meresal]

I agree that you should go with what you love... size competition will be endless if you allow it to be.

With that said, have you thought about going custom. Maybe they could play around with the measurements in order to fit a larger diamond in the center.

You said .75 tcw, does that include bling on the band, or is that the center stone. If it's the center, then you have a SERIOUS case of the PS bug.

ETA: cbs ITA!!!

I don't find either of them all that attractive. I know weird, I've just never been attracted to ANY celebrity.

 

[cbs102]

Date: 8/19/2008 4:44:42 PM
Author: ams0124

I agree with everyone...

Your e-ring is meant to be something special between you and your SO....It doesn''t need to stand up against other e-rings...There is no prize for the person with the biggest stone or most expensive ring.

I definitely say that you get the one you love and if the one you love is smaller than everyone elses...so be it, there''s absolutely nothing wrong with that...even if your budget allows for one larger.

Just think about what you and your SO could do with the other half of the e-ring budget that you don''t use?!?! You can get the ring that you were originally drawn to in the first place....and maybe even go on a nice little getaway or something...best of both worlds...Just because you have the money doesn''t mean you have to spend it all....my personal opinion anyway.

Hope that helps somewhat

also.. so eloquently put...

 

[Dreamgirl]

Date: 8/19/2008 4:47:30 PM
Author: katamari
1) For the record, .75 is not small--it is bigger than the U.S. average. You have been bitten by the PS bug. When this happens to me, I stop looking at SMTR and start looking at what people around me are wearing (and I live in a large metro area).

Aint that the truth! My mind constantly goes back and fourth about diamond size. First I think .75 is nice and large, but then I think I wished I could have over 1ct!!!

I wonder and worry about what size my boyfriend will end up getting me, but I've told him a general size that I like. That doesn't mean he will get me that size.........What even is the U.S. average btw? I constantly look at other woman's rings in my area and it honestly varies. But Id think that most seem to be at least over .50ct.....

katamari- I completely understand where you are coming from because Im always second guessing EVERYTHING. I say, if you are still second guessing it, keep looking. While this ring makes your heart flutter, the size isn't what you want. And if you have more money in the budget for something larger and that is what you want, then I say go for it girl! Perhaps you can find a setting which is quite similar to this one that you love oh-so-dearly but with the larger stone that you long for. Have you ever considered a custom setting? Because then maybe you can re-create the look and have it be exactly what you want!

Good luck in your decision.

 

[Rhea]

If you''re already having doubts, for whatever reason, I think there''s a good chance those doubts will continue to grow. Maybe neither ring is right. Or maybe one is perfect but you don''t know it until you''ve tried on more first.

 

[swimmer]

try it on again with an eternity band

you love the ring, but you want some more bling right?
oh, or two eternity bands

 

[kittybean]

I would advise you to keep looking. As other posters have said, the doubts you have will likely continue to grow. It seems like you would really like a bigger stone; why not get the larger stone in a simple setting for the time being and have a custom setting made that gives you that same flutter? Or just go custom right away? I also think that trying on more rings might result in finding another setting that you like just as much.

As far as the size thing goes, .75 is definitely nothing to sneeze at. As other posters have said, there will always be someone with a bigger, flashier ring. You need to decide what size you''re comfortable with, aesthetically and financially, then make a conscious decision to be happy with that size.

 

[radiantquest]

thanks so much for all of your opinions. i think part of it may be the PS bug. everything seems so big on here. i guess another part of it is that i think if he were doing the choosing i would get a larger one. i might not like the setting as much, but it would be bigger. he made this comment "what do you mean small? does it look like a diamond took a s#*t on your finger" lol i am afraid it might even be to small for him. but i love it. thanks for *listening. and please keep posting.

 

[purrfectpear]

I think it''s really smart of your FI to avoid financing the ring. Since he''s making payments for the next 10 months (you mentioned it in a previous thread), are you sure that a larger stone is really in his budget

The ring you described, Princess in halo, with side stones, sounds like it will have a substantial presence on your finger. If you got the flutters when you tried it on, I think it''s the ring you love.

Don''t get all caught up in the PS hoopla. It''s contagious believe me.

 

[Clairitek]

Radiant- I can totally relate to what you''re going through. Before I started reading PS regularly I was having major issues with what size my head told me was reasonable and what my heart though it wanted.

Date: 8/19/2008 4:21:10 PM
Author: fieryred33143
When you start playing the game of who has a bigger ring, you''ll never win. Someone else may come in with bigger/better.

Date: 8/19/2008 4:26:19 PM
Author: cbs102
This ring is a symbol of YOUR love with YOUR future fiance and truthfully has nothing to do with what other women are wearing. you fell in love with the smaller ring for a REASON... and the fact that it gave you ''flutters''.. then that should be your answer

These two things combined are pretty much what my FF said to me after I got wrapped up in having a larger ring than a friend of mine who is really braggy about the size of hers. Once I heard that from his mouth it made me calm down a lot and stop focusing on what other people have.

Ditto also to those people who have pointed out being bitten by the PS bug. This website will have you thinking that the national average is 1.5 carats or more! The rings on here are lovely but definitely bigger than the average.

Go with what makes you take in a little breath when you see it on you or the ring that you can''t take your eyes off of when you look in the mirror.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 8/19/2008 4:54:22 PM
Author: Dreamgirl

Aint that the truth! My mind constantly goes back and fourth about diamond size. First I think .75 is nice and large, but then I think I wished I could have over 1ct!!!

I wonder and worry about what size my boyfriend will end up getting me, but I''ve told him a general size that I like. That doesn''t mean he will get me that size.........What even is the U.S. average btw? I constantly look at other woman''s rings in my area and it honestly varies. But Id think that most seem to be at least over .50ct.....

just the center stone...
in the U.S. avg = 1 ct PS avg =1.25 ct

 

[bettina]

My question is: how long have you thought about it? Give it a good week or two to mull it over and look around. If you keep going back to the same style then go for it.

I also succombed to shrinking diamond syndrome. Kinda sucks.

 

[vita*dolce]

radiant --

for me your post says it all! if the ring you''ve been looking at gives you a fluttery feeling in your stomach, than i''d say that''s the one!

my bf and i have been in a couple of stores looking at rings and the jewelers all seem to say that the right ring will "speak" to me -- it sounds like you''ve already found that!

 

[LaraOnline]

Date: 8/19/2008 4:55:51 PM
Author: Addy
If you''re already having doubts, for whatever reason, I think there''s a good chance those doubts will continue to grow. Maybe neither ring is right. Or maybe one is perfect but you don''t know it until you''ve tried on more first.

Try not to settle. You don''t need the biggest, but you do need the best - for you!

 

[louisvgirl]

If the ring makes you flutter, then that should say something. Is it possible to get that same ring custom made, but with a bigger stone?? This way you still have the same look, but a little bigger.

Do you have a picture of the ring you may to share?

 

[IrishEyes08]

What is it about the smaller ring that you love? Setting? Stone shape? Can you have that ring made a bit larger and have the best of both worlds?

 

[sklingem]

I''d be interested in the 1ct average stats ... where is it from? Googling that topic comes up with all kinds of answers, including .34, .5, .75 and 1ct. (?)

 

[Rhea]

Radiant, have you had any more thoughts on this? I''m curious to know what you''ll decide.

 

[VMal]

Hey there... I just posted something similar but the gals here on PS helped me to realize something...

There was a reason behind your decision making, and if your ring gives you butterflies then thats all that matters. It was right for YOU. Dont'' worry about who has a bigger or pricier ring, you''ll never be happy and as someone else had mentioned, you''ll probably never win.

Besides, now theres room in the budget for a full eternity band (or two?!) or a right hand ring or an anniversary ring etc etc....
You can even choose to upgrade someday.

Stick with your heart and your gut.

Don''t let anyone else''s decisions compromise whats right for you.

Best of Luck!

PS. Pics?!

 

[Tuckins1]

Who cares what everyone else has?!? Get what makes YOU happy! I''m sure whatever you pick will be lovely!