Do you care if a stone was used before?

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 6/13/2006 2:53:43 PM
Author: ladykemma
nope don''t mind at all.

exception: if it a former girlfriend''s or wife''s , then I would want to disinfect the psychological cooties with a fresh setting from jared''s.

edited to add: i have a supply of very nice diamonds. I ask the question: Men, would it freak you out to reuse the diamonds? in a fresh setting? if all you had to do was to design or select a fresh setting?

you would need to have the stone "recut" to get all the cooties off.

 

[strmrdr]

Date: 6/13/2006 2:53:43 PM
Author: ladykemma

edited to add: i have a supply of very nice diamonds. I ask the question: Men, would it freak you out to reuse the diamonds? in a fresh setting? if all you had to do was to design or select a fresh setting?

For an ering maybe depends on the history of the diamond.
If it was grandmas e-ring sure why not.
A relatives e-ring from her 4th marriage out of 6 then no way.
Something she just bought unless money was really tight and no other options were available it wouldnt be something id like but if its recutable and I pay for the recut then it would work.
Otherwise it would be too much like her buying her own with her money.
For pendants and rhr no problem but the e-ring is different.
It would depend I guess is my best answers.

If its from an X then no way in hades way too many cooties even with a recut because it would always be x''s diamond not our diamond.

 

[kaylagee]

Date: 6/13/2006 6:15:44 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 6/13/2006 2:53:43 PM

Author: ladykemma

nope don''t mind at all.


exception: if it a former girlfriend''s or wife''s , then I would want to disinfect the psychological cooties with a fresh setting from jared''s.



edited to add: i have a supply of very nice diamonds. I ask the question: Men, would it freak you out to reuse the diamonds? in a fresh setting? if all you had to do was to design or select a fresh setting?

you would need to have the stone ''recut'' to get all the cooties off.

COOTIES

to answer: Who knows where a stone has been??(garsh, all sorts of horrors flash)..but no, no problem with a used one for me either.

Tho'', I''m not so keen on jewelry unless I know the history.

 

[ladykemma]

Date: 6/13/2006 6:49:10 PM
Author: strmrdr

Date: 6/13/2006 2:53:43 PM
Author: ladykemma

edited to add: i have a supply of very nice diamonds. I ask the question: Men, would it freak you out to reuse the diamonds? in a fresh setting? if all you had to do was to design or select a fresh setting?

For an ering maybe depends on the history of the diamond.
If it was grandmas e-ring sure why not.
A relatives e-ring from her 4th marriage out of 6 then no way.
Something she just bought unless money was really tight and no other options were available it wouldnt be something id like but if its recutable and I pay for the recut then it would work.
Otherwise it would be too much like her buying her own with her money.
For pendants and rhr no problem but the e-ring is different.
It would depend I guess is my best answers.

If its from an X then no way in hades way too many cooties even with a recut because it would always be x''s diamond not our diamond.

what if they''re just diamonds picked up here and there?

 

[strmrdr]

Date: 6/13/2006 10:27:57 PM
Author: ladykemma

Date: 6/13/2006 6:49:10 PM

Author: strmrdr

Date: 6/13/2006 2:53:43 PM

Author: ladykemma


edited to add: i have a supply of very nice diamonds. I ask the question: Men, would it freak you out to reuse the diamonds? in a fresh setting? if all you had to do was to design or select a fresh setting?

For an ering maybe depends on the history of the diamond.

If it was grandmas e-ring sure why not.

A relatives e-ring from her 4th marriage out of 6 then no way.

Something she just bought unless money was really tight and no other options were available it wouldnt be something id like but if its recutable and I pay for the recut then it would work.

Otherwise it would be too much like her buying her own with her money.

For pendants and rhr no problem but the e-ring is different.

It would depend I guess is my best answers.


If its from an X then no way in hades way too many cooties even with a recut because it would always be x''s diamond not our diamond.

what if they''re just diamonds picked up here and there?

I wouldnt be comfortable with it in an ering doing that unless i was paying for a recut or something.
Too much like buying her own ering with her money when it is spose to be a gift from me.

 

[Lorelei]

Date: 6/12/2006 1:16:40 PM
Author: kenny
So you would reject the diamond but keep the man?
The former romance is not the diamond's fault, it's his.

If you have a problem with the fact that you were not his first love, why not keep the diamond but throw the MAN into the Atlantic Ocean?
How can you forgive the man but not the diamond?

Kenny - you are not getting my point! We would not WANT the diamond as it WASN'T CHOSEN FOR US!!!!! It was chosen for another woman!! Do you understand what I mean now? We want a diamond or ring CHOSEN WITH US IN MIND! My Husband completely gets it - from another guy's point of view and agrees.

We don't want to feel that we are only WORTH another woman or ex's ring, that any old ring will do. We want to feel VALUED enough that the guy would buy us our own ring. Come to that, I would prefer NO ring than to wear the guy's ex's ring. I know it isn't the diamond's fault, but to us they are symbolic when they are in an e-ring, a diamond represents the two of us, not me, him and the ex! And that is how it would feel if the diamond was in any way connected with the ex! BTW I am speaking for myself here and am not trying to say that is everone's POV but it is mine.

 

[ladykemma]

Date: 6/14/2006 3:52:43 AM
Author: Lorelei

Date: 6/12/2006 1:16:40 PM
Author: kenny
So you would reject the diamond but keep the man?
The former romance is not the diamond''s fault, it''s his.

If you have a problem with the fact that you were not his first love, why not keep the diamond but throw the MAN into the Atlantic Ocean?
How can you forgive the man but not the diamond?

Kenny - you are not getting my point! We would not WANT the diamond as it WASN''T CHOSEN FOR US!!!!! It was chosen for another woman!! Do you understand what I mean now? We want a diamond or ring CHOSEN WITH US IN MIND! My Husband completely gets it - from another guy''s point of view and agrees.

We don''t want to feel that we are only WORTH another woman or ex''s ring, that any old ring will do. We want to feel VALUED enough that the guy would buy us our own ring. Come to that, I would prefer NO ring than to wear the guy''s ex''s ring. I know it isn''t the diamond''s fault, but to us they are symbolic when they are in an e-ring, a diamond represents the two of us, not me, him and the ex! And that is how it would feel if the diamond was in any way connected with the ex!

with a fresh setting, why waste a good diamond? hell I''d take it as long AS YOUR LADY KNOWS ABOUT IT AND APPROVES !

How long ago was the former romance?

 

[Lorelei]

Date: 6/14/2006 7:39:28 AM
Author: ladykemma

Date: 6/14/2006 3:52:43 AM
Author: Lorelei

Date: 6/12/2006 1:16:40 PM
Author: kenny
So you would reject the diamond but keep the man?
The former romance is not the diamond''s fault, it''s his.

If you have a problem with the fact that you were not his first love, why not keep the diamond but throw the MAN into the Atlantic Ocean?
How can you forgive the man but not the diamond?

Kenny - you are not getting my point! We would not WANT the diamond as it WASN''T CHOSEN FOR US!!!!! It was chosen for another woman!! Do you understand what I mean now? We want a diamond or ring CHOSEN WITH US IN MIND! My Husband completely gets it - from another guy''s point of view and agrees.

We don''t want to feel that we are only WORTH another woman or ex''s ring, that any old ring will do. We want to feel VALUED enough that the guy would buy us our own ring. Come to that, I would prefer NO ring than to wear the guy''s ex''s ring. I know it isn''t the diamond''s fault, but to us they are symbolic when they are in an e-ring, a diamond represents the two of us, not me, him and the ex! And that is how it would feel if the diamond was in any way connected with the ex!

with a fresh setting, why waste a good diamond? hell I''d take it as long AS YOUR LADY KNOWS ABOUT IT AND APPROVES !

How long ago was the former romance?

I couldn''t do it Lady K but if you could then more power to you! Then you could get something else as well

 

[ladykemma]

Date: 6/14/2006 8:05:38 AM
Author: Lorelei

Date: 6/14/2006 7:39:28 AM
Author: ladykemma

Date: 6/14/2006 3:52:43 AM
Author: Lorelei

Date: 6/12/2006 1:16:40 PM
Author: kenny
So you would reject the diamond but keep the man?
The former romance is not the diamond''s fault, it''s his.

If you have a problem with the fact that you were not his first love, why not keep the diamond but throw the MAN into the Atlantic Ocean?
How can you forgive the man but not the diamond?

Kenny - you are not getting my point! We would not WANT the diamond as it WASN''T CHOSEN FOR US!!!!! It was chosen for another woman!! Do you understand what I mean now? We want a diamond or ring CHOSEN WITH US IN MIND! My Husband completely gets it - from another guy''s point of view and agrees.

We don''t want to feel that we are only WORTH another woman or ex''s ring, that any old ring will do. We want to feel VALUED enough that the guy would buy us our own ring. Come to that, I would prefer NO ring than to wear the guy''s ex''s ring. I know it isn''t the diamond''s fault, but to us they are symbolic when they are in an e-ring, a diamond represents the two of us, not me, him and the ex! And that is how it would feel if the diamond was in any way connected with the ex!

with a fresh setting, why waste a good diamond? hell I''d take it as long AS YOUR LADY KNOWS ABOUT IT AND APPROVES !

How long ago was the former romance?

I couldn''t do it Lady K but if you could then more power to you! Then you could get something else as well

Now, if it''s his divorce diamond NO WAY!

 

[Lorelei]

Date: 6/14/2006 8:09:31 AM
Author: ladykemma

Date: 6/14/2006 8:05:38 AM
Author: Lorelei

Now, if it's his divorce diamond NO WAY!

You have to draw the line SOMEWHERE!

 

[kenny]

Everyone's different.
I respect everyones's perspective.

I'm just pointing out that these kind of things are all in your head.
The diamond itself is fine.
Aparrently the man himself is perfectly fine.
It is the "meaning" that was placed on the diamond that is not fine.


If that meaning came from you, then you also have the power to let that meaning go.

A person can choose to disconnect that meaning from the diamond and be happy with the diamond even thought it was selected when he was with somebody else she may save him (or rather their familiy's financies) thousands of dollars.
She can think of it as just another wonderful thing her man came with.

The meaning is all in your head.
That's not bad.
That's not wrong.
It's just the way it is.

But a person can shift her thinking if she wants to.

 

[Lorelei]

I agree that is the way it is and it is fine for us to disagree! I still feel the same, sure I could adjust my thinking if I wanted but I don''t wish to. I would never feel that the diamond was chosen for me, it was chosen for her and that matters to me. If money was an issue I would prefer to sell that diamond and have a diamond which was bought for me. I wouldn''t have a problem with a " used" diamond from another source, as long as it wasn''t connected to a former relationship of my guy. I guess we all have different feelings on this matter, but from a woman''s perspective, the engagement ring is the most important piece of jewellery she will ever own, also we dream about our rings for years before we get them and I would feel I wasn''t worthy of having " my own ring but had to make do with his ex fiance''s." Silly maybe but that''s how it is.

 

[blodthecat]

If my partner was in possession of a HUGE well cut diamond (worn by an EX)....I would have no problems at all resetting it in a new setting of ny choice.

I can't imagin saying, "honey, trade-in that 3ct honker for peanuts, and buy me something much, much smaller!"

Hell no!

Blod

BTW...I live in the UK....what are cooties??? do you mean bad vibes????

 

[Madam Bijoux]

As far as accepting a ring that was bought for an 'ex' goes: I'll take any piece of jewelry that's offered to me and don't care if it was bought for an ex. My cooties are powerful enough to obliterate the ex's cooties.

 

[blodthecat]

Date: 6/14/2006 11:01:14 AM
Author: Madam Bijoux
As far as accepting a ring that was bought for an ''ex'' goes: I''ll take any piece of jewelry that''s offered to me and don''t care if it was bought for an ex. My cooties are powerful enough to obliterate the ex''s cooties.

Bloody hell....what are these cooties? and are they contagious?

 

[Blenheim]

I don't think I'd have any problems unless it was a ring that he bought for an ex.

Blod -- here's an explanation of cooties. Is it an American thing, then?

ETA: Nevermind, it says in the article I linked. Silly question.

 

[Gemklctr]

Fascinating discussion. I would welcome your comments on this scenario:

Reacquired ex''s e-ring for favorable price. 2.03ct F SI1 Ideal cut (since size/quality may affect opinions). Reset as pendant and added to heirloom jewelry collection I am building (along with my gem collection). As subsequent significant other, is this something you would wear without qualification, OK because reset, OK but only after full disclosure, not OK, other?

The "heirloom collection" is available to be and is regularly worn by my family members such as mother and future DIL, so the SO would not be the first to wear it after the ex, and it would not be gifted to her but only available for her to wear.

 

[widget]

GK:

I''d certainly have no trouble with the remounted diamond, especially in pendant form, but I''d want full disclosure. I''d probably be hurt/upset if I learned of its origin after I''d been wearing it for a while...

Date: 6/14/2006 12:16:30 PM
Author: GemKlctr

The ''heirloom collection'' is available to be and is regularly worn by my family members.... so the SO would not be the first to wear it after the ex, and it would not be gifted to her but only available for her to wear.

hmmm, interesting! Am I correct in assuming that the SO is not a WIFE?? Would the arrangement be different if she were?

Just curious...

widget

 

[Gemklctr]

Date: 6/14/2006 1:19:56 PM
Author: widget
GK:

I'd certainly have no trouble with the remounted diamond, especially in pendant form, but I'd want full disclosure. I'd probably be hurt/upset if I learned of its origin after I'd been wearing it for a while...

Date: 6/14/2006 12:16:30 PM
Author: GemKlctr

The 'heirloom collection' is available to be and is regularly worn by my family members.... so the SO would not be the first to wear it after the ex, and it would not be gifted to her but only available for her to wear.

hmmm, interesting! Am I correct in assuming that the SO is not a WIFE?? Would the arrangement be different if she were?

Just curious...

widget

Thanks for the reaction. SO is a hypothetical for the time being.

But, having kids, siblings, nieces and nephews of my own and having already experienced the darker side of blended families, the intent of the heirloom collection is to ensure that I retain the right, independent of a spouse, to direct its disposition. Whether an SO and her family come to be considered part of "my" family and eligible to share in the ownership as differentiated from the wearing of the collection at some future point would be dependent upon the relationship that develops.

 

[C Smith]

I could care less where the diamond came from as long as it's legally and ethically obtained. If it's a properly graded SI2 J or better and the price is right, I'm buying.

 

[Kaleigh]

Since Storm revived the old term Cooties, he should explain it''s meaning to our UK friends. I haven''t heard it since elementary school, hehe.

 

[widget]

"Cooties" is an old term????

widget

 

[Lorelei]

Bugs, fleas, germs? American Hubby uses that term so I use it too occasionally - it is most descriptive!

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 6/14/2006 1:44:44 PM
Author: Kaleigh
Since Storm revived the old term Cooties, he should explain it''s meaning to our UK friends. I haven''t heard it since elementary school, hehe.

yep...that was the last time for me too.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 6/14/2006 11:08:39 AM
Author: blodthecat

Date: 6/14/2006 11:01:14 AM
Author: Madam Bijoux
As far as accepting a ring that was bought for an ''ex'' goes: I''ll take any piece of jewelry that''s offered to me and don''t care if it was bought for an ex. My cooties are powerful enough to obliterate the ex''s cooties.

Bloody hell....what are these cooties? and are they contagious?

YES!!! only on Brit girls.

 

[strmrdr]

cooties
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cooties

 

[Lorelei]

Date: 6/14/2006 2:24:24 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 6/14/2006 11:08:39 AM
Bloody hell....what are these cooties? and are they contagious?

YES!!! only on Brit girls.

I don''t have them so there

 

[fire&ice]

My diamond bracelet belonged to a murderer. She accidently shot her ex-husband several times.

Strangely enough, the bracelet does not have bad karma. It seems like from a happier time. And, it certainly is a reminder about controlling yourself.

 

[ladykemma]

my mother had a star sapphire ring that we were forbidden to put on. she said anytime whe wore that ring, someone she knew died.

don''t know where it is now.

 

[blodthecat]

Date: 6/14/2006 2:37:59 PM
Author: strmrdr
cooties
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cooties

Thanks for clearing that up Storm!

You''re a Pricescope ORACLE !