Do you ever feel sorry for yourself?

[MissMina]

Sometimes I do as I have several serious chronic health problems
that severely limit my quality of life. I had plans for my "Golden Years"
that are not going to happen.
But then I count my blessings.
I have a roof over my head and food in my stomach and no one
is shooting at me. There are many in this world who can't say that.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Of course! I think *most* people throw themselves a pity party, even if it is small, once in awhile. I don't get in that place as often but when I do I set a time limit. I let myself pout for X amount of time and then force myself to move on. It works well for me b/c otherwise I am the type of person to sink into a depression and "live" in that pity for far too long.

Self-awareness as really helped me learn how to deal with all the lemons life throws at me. I have learned my perspective greatly influence my happiness. In the past I have made mountains out of molehills so now I stop, pause, and really think how important things are before I spend energy to fight or grieve things. Most the time it is easier to accept life for what it is and move on. I also try to focus on all of my blessings and what IS working in my life instead of what isn't.

 

[diamondringlover]

Yea I do, my life right now is not in a happy place, work issues, relationship issues, health issues and my Dad just died, but I am trying to get myself better, some issues I can deal with and try to improve, others arent so easy

 

[MonkeyPie]

Yeah, I do it on occasion. Example, I have a cousin that won 17 million in the lottery and I often look at all the trips she takes, the amazing house she is having built, and I feel like crap because even if I busted butt the rest of my life I would never have even half of the trips, or a house half that size. Then I realize I have other things, and I move on.

 

[Circe]

Last year was the worst damn year of my life, and I definitely felt sorry for myself during parts of it. Oddly enough, it was something on here that helped me get through the worst of it - a sig. line from one of the members (Wolftress, I think).

Winston Churchill: If you're going through hell, keep going.

As mindsets go, it definitely helped.

More practically? I tried to keep busy, so as to not wallow. I took a lot of baths with pomegranate bath foam, to treat myself, with red wine and dark chocolate. I did try to focus on the positive, and to be proactive about knowing when I would be depressed (situationally, hormonally), and to cut myself some slack - some days, just surviving is a laudable achievement.

Do I still feel sorry for myself, some days? Hells, yeah. But I think it's what you do with/about it that matters.

 

[TravelingGal]

Generally not these days. If I'm healthy and my loved ones are healthy, I don't have anything to feel sorry for myself about because the rest of my life is pretty good right now.

That being said, I think pity parties are fine...like Tacori said, self awareness is good. When I was in college, if I felt sorry for myself, I'd have a GIANT cry for 15 minutes (or whatever short time I needed) and move on. And I mean it was a huge cry...wracking sobs! I always felt better afterwards. No need to keep it all inside and I still abide by that philosophy today.

 

[Guilty Pleasure]

I've had pity parties, but I try to make sure that no else is invited.

I can think of two times when I've been depressed for a significant amount of time. I felt like I was thigh deep in the middle of a lake of thick mud, not drowning and knowing what I should do to get out (walk toward the shore), but just staying put because getting out would be exhausting and I was already tired. I got over it eventually by setting and achieving small goals instead of letting the big picture continue to overwhelm me. It's so hard to make yourself take the first step, but not so hard once you get moving. I guess inertia applies to mental states as much as it applies to the physical world.

 

[Autumnovember]

When I was first misdiagnosed....I felt EXTREMELY sorry for myself and also beyond scared.

As time went on and the diagnosis was still the same, I stopped feeling sorry for myself and I realized I could not allow this to define who I am and my everyday emotions. Besides that, I really try hard not to feel sorry for myself but I think its almost natural for people to do it every now and then. Not allowing for it to get the best of me is what I try remind myself.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

One of my favorite quotes is from Abraham Lincoln, "most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be."

You can feel pity/grief/sadness without moving in. Good luck with what ever you are going through.

 

[elrohwen]

Elrohwen- when DH left his last job for his current one, he didn't realize just how bad it was, emotionally and mentally, until he went to his new position. His new company is SUCH a breath of fresh air! The entire way it's structured and the respect they have for their employees is amazing. So I totally understand how you could be miserable in a crappy job, but loving unemployment, lol.

It is very very hard to work in a place where there is no respect for the employees. Many have said here that they were proactive about changing their situation - how did you feel when you tried to be proactive but were unable to change your situation?

In my case, I worked my butt off for a year and a half to get out of the company, but was unable to find anything (that didn't involve moving to the rural midwest). Being proactive helped me for a long time, but eventually the feelings of helplessness settled in and wouldn't go away. At least once I was unemployed I was helpless, but not miserable anymore.

 

[junebug17]

Do I feel sorry for myself sometimes? Hell yeah!

I actually think it's better to just acknowledge that I'm depressed and sad and give into it for awhile...the trick is not to wallow for too long, and I try to pull myself out of it by focusing on the positive things in my life. Hard to do when I hit a particularly rough patch, but I do the best I can and just hope for better days.

 

[Kaleigh]

Yes right now, going through a hard disorder I find myself feeling sorry for myself.. I try to remember all the many blessings I have in my life, so that helps me get out of it. And the many friends I have that are supporting me in this difficult journey.

But before this?? No, I really didn't. Yes I could have. So many losses, and tough times. Abuse etc... But I learned to forgive and forge ahead... Like what's the point, you have to make your life what you want it t be. No one can do that for you but yourself...

But this hit out of no where.. I think I am beyond the pitty part, now I am just pissed.... LOL!!!!

The glass is still half full , and am trying to keep my chin up.

Kaleigh- I've said this before and I'll say it again (and again ) I really admire you! Having gone through so much, but you are such an amazing mom, so positive and such a gentle spirit. I must have missed it if you posted what the disorder is, but you are in my thoughts and prayers!![/quot

I haven't said anything definitive.. I was hoping the whole thing would go away.... BUT thank you for the kind words. My kids know, as does my family.. I have a long road ahead.


Was at my best friends Dad's funeral today.
My kids adored him , and to them he was POP... He was POP to all his grandkids, so for my kids to call him that, it was an honor...

I feel bad for his family as this is a huge loss. He was a great athlete a former Marine...

And he spent tons of time with me, as I lived next door to my best friend. My house was open to him any time, any day...


We spent hours watching the kids, and just talking..

His loss is huge.

 

[Imdanny]

Not lately but every once in a while. It's not pretty. And it's not even a question of other people have it so much worse- I know that- it's just that sometimes I get depressed. Not very often, but sometimes. There I said it.

 

[monarch64]

One of my favorite quotes is from Abraham Lincoln, "most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be."

You can feel pity/grief/sadness without moving in. Good luck with what ever you are going through.

Tacori, I really believe that is the key to happiness, that quote you posted. Once we relinquish control over everything, and realize that all we can control is within ourselves, we can actually find some happiness.

I once was asked to perform a group exercise, and it was simply describing what the word "happiness" meant to you. I think my favorite answer at that time (I was all of 1 was "being able to cope with everyday life." Sad? Perhaps. Truthful? Definitely. What happens in everyday terms? Definitely. There are three resonating opinions...and three things that anyone else could decipher differently than I did. I firmly believe that life is what you make of it, and what you choose to do with it.

I would also like to say that (speaking for myself only), I have sometimes felt about posts on this forum, that certain people have it all figured out, and that they are really happy, and I have found myself envious of those people. I have ALSO felt at times, that other people think that I have it all figured out, that they think I'M happy, and curiously, that there might be a little bit of envy going on. Either way, I think it's fine and a part of life. T-Gal's responses in LizzyAnn's thread were fantastic, and this thread reminds me of that one. I like them both--both ask some pretty tough questions.

 

[Steel]

Life is tough. Sometimes it sucks less and sometimes more. So be sad, but when you are not so sad, try to enjoy what is there to be enjoyed and if all else fails, get a kitten.

 

[junebug17]

Life is tough. Sometimes it sucks less and sometimes more. So be sad, but when you are not so sad, try to enjoy what is there to be enjoyed and if all else fails, get a kitten.

I like this Steal! Pretty much sums things up, at least for me. Your post belongs on a plaque lol.

 

[Steel]

Life is tough. Sometimes it sucks less and sometimes more. So be sad, but when you are not so sad, try to enjoy what is there to be enjoyed and if all else fails, get a kitten.

I like this Steal! Pretty much sums things up, at least for me. Your post belongs on a plaque lol.

Awh shucks, Junebug!

 

[HollyS]

Do you ever feel sorry for yourself?



Almost never. I'll start counting my blessings, and that usually cures any tendency to throw a pity-party.