Do you ever stop and think...

[House Cat]

WOW this is a lot of money to be spending on one day!

I could be spending this money on so many other things!

Do you KNOW how BIG my diamond would be if I eloped?

This is madness!

Etc...Etc...Etc...?


Sometimes I wonder if this is clarity speaking to me or anxiety...?

 

[purselover]

At first, which was part of the reason I wanted to elope, but sadly that didn''t seem to be in the cards as both our families were less than thrilled with that plan. Now I don''t feel badly at all about the money being spent my parents can afford what their spending and it''s what they wanted.

 

[sba771]

Every day...every single day when I want to bash my head against the wall. You are not alone! I just remind myself its a labor of love and in the end will be making a lot of people happy and I get what I want too, to marry my FI.

 

[cleokizzy]

yes. FI & i were just talking about that but elopement is out of the question...

 

[rhbgirl24]

LOL! I just keep thinking that this $30K would be an awesome down payment on a house!

 

[stephbolt]

Quite often, especially with the economy the way it is. However, I''m also really looking forward to marrying FI in front of our families and friends from all different stages of our lives. While we are paying a lot for just one day, we are also cutting corners where we can and focusing on a few priorities to really spend money on.

 

[Lauren8211]

I prefer not to think about it, actually.

 

[luvthemstrawberries]

Oh definitely - that''s why our wedding is as minimal as possible. I know how hard it is just to save up $5000, let alone $20,000, which is the average around here. There''s no way I could let my wedding cost that much. So we''re examining everything from every possible angle, and spending the least amount possible while still having a quality event and making everybody content.

 

[dani2142]

Yepper... that''s why we opted for a destination wedding in Jamaica.... our family and close friends are coming. It''ll probably be the only time my family is all together at once because they live all over. I can''t wait Also, I never wanted a big hoopla wedding to be honest. Too much planning, stress and money. I give all you gals props though that are going that route! I''d be a total mess!

 

[Snicklefritz]

Oh yes, and that''s we''re doing it backwards. We spent double on the e-ring what we''re going to spend on the wedding. We thought it made more sense to put more money into the ering since it''s for the long term and the wedding is just one day. Plus, neither of us want the big expensive wedding; it just isn''t us.

 

[MagsyMay]

Yep, it makes my head spin! Both my FI and I have HUGE law school student loan debt and it just makes me ill to think of how this money could be better spent! My Dad is all for just giving us the money to use as we please, but Mom wants the wedding to-do, and we do want our elderly grandparents to be able to share in the day... so alas, here we are!

I''m trying not to think about it so much, but just being mindful of where we can cut costs, because it is really ruining the planning for me.

 

[MakingTheGrade]

I wanted to just elope for even non-financial reasons, but our parents weren''t not going to go for that. Our parents offered to foot the bill for almost anything, but I decided that 10k was as much as I was comfortable spending on a one day event. I stuck to the budget and ended up have a fantastic wedding and reception with 100 of our closest friends and family. I prioritized the food/drinks and DJ, and went minimal on mostly everything else.

My hubby and I didn''t spend much of our own money, so it''s not like I could have bought a ring for myself with it, hehe. And our parents were both comfortable with how much they contributed, and were thrilled with the wedding.

 

[cocolaw]

yeah but this is important to me. my mom was married once in her early twenties for about 2 months (very bad situation), and then she married my father in her late twenties and they lasted about 18 years (until my freshman year of college). i never saw wedding pictures, i never heard about weddings, i never saw any expression of romance between either of my parents, and so i really want to change that. my mom always had the attitude that weddings were silly and i was never a child to dream about weddings growing up (i was also the type to be embarrassed about liking a boy, etc). i just think there is something so special about having a special day, really going all out, to celebrate your future together. and also having pictures of the day, and telling your children about the day. it just feels like a great way to start your future and your future family. i don''t know-luckily my mom has gotten much more into the whole wedding thing now that it''s my turn ! but when the tab starts to add up, i just think about how important this tradition is to me!

 

[Londongirl1]

Date: 8/26/2009 3:07:19 PM
Author:House Cat
WOW this is a lot of money to be spending on one day!

I could be spending this money on so many other things!

Do you KNOW how BIG my diamond would be if I eloped?

This is madness!

Etc...Etc...Etc...?


Sometimes I wonder if this is clarity speaking to me or anxiety...?

I had this conversation with myself and decided that spending lots on money on a big dress, big car, big reception blah, blah, blah DOES NOT make a wedding any more special. In fact the best weddings I''ve ever been to were the ones that were the least expensive and where not about ''putting on a big show''

 

[trillionaire]

precisely, but I have always felt that way! I want a simple elopement, FI wants an at home reception, and I cringe thinking of how much it is going to cost. I have zero interest in wedding planning, and FI has NO clue how much things cost, so it should be *fun* when we get to this budgeting... and we haven''t set a wedding date yet, so he hasn''t gone into wedding budgeting mode yet, and he has a few high cost trips in a row that are making me *CRINGE*, especially as the holidays approach. Sigh. Well, at least I get to elope. I''ll try not to worry about the rest.

 

[UCLABelle]

We did (although my parents paid for the whole thing!). We had less than 25 people and wanted to keep the costs a little lower but it was 15K+

That could buy a nice car

 

[Londongirl1]

Date: 8/27/2009 2:49:09 AM
Author: UCLABelle
We did (although my parents paid for the whole thing!). We had less than 25 people and wanted to keep the costs a little lower but it was 15K+

That could buy a nice car

Holy Moly! Where did you get married? Buckingham Palace?

 

[bee*]

We did think about it a bit but not too much. It''s what we both wanted, we tried to keep under a budget (and managed to) and now looking back on it, we would have done everything the same way again.

 

[gwendolyn]

Yup! That''s why we''re going to have two low-cost weddings, so that we can sleep at night and dream about our future house with nice furniture, a decent TV and big sparkly diamond rings--well, maybe James doesn''t dream about that last one.

 

[trillionaire]

Date: 8/27/2009 7:19:35 AM
Author: gwendolyn
Yup! That''s why we''re going to have two low-cost weddings, so that we can sleep at night and dream about our future house with nice furniture, a decent TV and big sparkly diamond rings--well, maybe James doesn''t dream about that last one.

Gwen, how are you having TWO weddings for the price of ONE? What is your secret???

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 8/27/2009 7:46:33 AM
Author: trillionaire

Date: 8/27/2009 7:19:35 AM

Author: gwendolyn

Yup! That's why we're going to have two low-cost weddings, so that we can sleep at night and dream about our future house with nice furniture, a decent TV and big sparkly diamond rings--well, maybe James doesn't dream about that last one.

Gwen, how are you having TWO weddings for the price of ONE? What is your secret???

Wedding 1:

Registry office (costs a total of £60, I think?)
Reception held at J's parents' house with home cooked food, decorations, cake, etc. Like a BBQ but more variety! And lots of people have volunteered to help, so we're paying almost nothing for this.

Wedding 2:

Banquet prices instead of wedding prices, since we will already be married for 2 months, they can't charge us for a 'wedding' which cut costs HUGELY. We are having about 100-110 people and are paying about $3500 total for the reception venue, gorgeous food, alcohol, dessert (chocolate fountain, possibly? the kids would like that), dancing, music, and afternoon activities like my beloved bumper boats, bumper cars, go-karts, etc. Couple of friends have offered to bake the cake if we want one.

Really, the main costs for us are the immigration paperwork and interviews we have to do to prove we're a legit couple (because we're international)--once we have that, we can get a date for the registry office. And the other large expense will be my dress. Even still, costs will be around $5000 for both weddings combined, everything included (sans the honeymoon). So, yeah, that's how!

 

[laughwithme]

Yup. Pretty much every expense that I''m on the fence about (ice sculpture, string quartet) - I find myself asking, "$600 on this item, or $600 extra on the down payment?" (we are buying a house about 2 months post-wedding.)

 

[trillionaire]

Date: 8/27/2009 7:52:41 AM
Author: gwendolyn

Date: 8/27/2009 7:46:33 AM

Author: trillionaire

Date: 8/27/2009 7:19:35 AM


Author: gwendolyn


Yup! That''s why we''re going to have two low-cost weddings, so that we can sleep at night and dream about our future house with nice furniture, a decent TV and big sparkly diamond rings--well, maybe James doesn''t dream about that last one.

Gwen, how are you having TWO weddings for the price of ONE? What is your secret???

Wedding 1:


Registry office (costs a total of £60, I think?)

Reception held at J''s parents'' house with home cooked food, decorations, cake, etc. Like a BBQ but more variety! And lots of people have volunteered to help, so we''re paying almost nothing for this.

Wedding 2:


Banquet prices instead of wedding prices, since we will already be married for 2 months, they can''t charge us for a ''wedding'' which cut costs HUGELY. We are having about 100-110 people and are paying about $3500 total for the reception venue, gorgeous food, alcohol, dessert (chocolate fountain, possibly? the kids would like that), dancing, music, and afternoon activities like my beloved bumper boats, bumper cars, go-karts, etc. Couple of friends have offered to bake the cake if we want one.


Really, the main costs for us are the immigration paperwork and interviews we have to do to prove we''re a legit couple (because we''re international)--once we have that, we can get a date for the registry office. And the other large expense will be my dress. Even still, costs will be around $5000 for both weddings combined, everything included (sans the honeymoon). So, yeah, that''s how!

I was hoping to utilize banquet pricing as well, since we will be eloping, then having a reception later. (we don''t yet know how much later, but at any rate, we will already be married when it happens.) Do you mind me asking how much you are being charge per head? We haven''t sat down to do a guestlist or anything yet, but I am assuming anywhere from 150-250 people (family heavy), but I am hoping to keep the numbers as low as possible. Could be much lower numbers because most of our guests would have to travel. *sigh* Thank goodness I''m only getting married once...

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 8/27/2009 8:22:59 AM
Author: trillionaire

Date: 8/27/2009 7:52:41 AM

Author: gwendolyn

Date: 8/27/2009 7:46:33 AM


Author: trillionaire

Date: 8/27/2009 7:19:35 AM



Author: gwendolyn



Yup! That's why we're going to have two low-cost weddings, so that we can sleep at night and dream about our future house with nice furniture, a decent TV and big sparkly diamond rings--well, maybe James doesn't dream about that last one.

Gwen, how are you having TWO weddings for the price of ONE? What is your secret???

Wedding 1:



Registry office (costs a total of £60, I think?)


Reception held at J's parents' house with home cooked food, decorations, cake, etc. Like a BBQ but more variety! And lots of people have volunteered to help, so we're paying almost nothing for this.

Wedding 2:




Banquet prices instead of wedding prices, since we will already be married for 2 months, they can't charge us for a 'wedding' which cut costs HUGELY. We are having about 100-110 people and are paying about $3500 total for the reception venue, gorgeous food, alcohol, dessert (chocolate fountain, possibly? the kids would like that), dancing, music, and afternoon activities like my beloved bumper boats, bumper cars, go-karts, etc. Couple of friends have offered to bake the cake if we want one.



Really, the main costs for us are the immigration paperwork and interviews we have to do to prove we're a legit couple (because we're international)--once we have that, we can get a date for the registry office. And the other large expense will be my dress. Even still, costs will be around $5000 for both weddings combined, everything included (sans the honeymoon). So, yeah, that's how!

I was hoping to utilize banquet pricing as well, since we will be eloping, then having a reception later. (we don't yet know how much later, but at any rate, we will already be married when it happens.) Do you mind me asking how much you are being charge per head? We haven't sat down to do a guestlist or anything yet, but I am assuming anywhere from 150-250 people (family heavy), but I am hoping to keep the numbers as low as possible. Could be much lower numbers because most of our guests would have to travel. *sigh* Thank goodness I'm only getting married once...

Our venue for the US reception is in the Poconos (no idea where you are, so you may or may not be able to get a comparable price) has a wide range of prices, depending on whether you want more formal or less formal, or lunch instead of dinner. I mean, if you wanted to do a very basic sandwich bar sort of lunch, you're looking at about $17 per head, but if you're looking at dinner (we're doing a dinner buffet with some fab choices of food!), prices are more like $35 per head (what we're paying for ours). That's versus $80 per head for the lowest cost wedding food package. Same food from the same kitchen, just with the "wedding" tax added on.

One of the things you should look out for is that some places charge a venue rental fee to use the dining room or dance floor or whatever, and others (like my venue) don't. Could save you a few thousand--a lot of places just added an automatic two grand or something to the fees for venue rental, so you can imagine my happiness when my venue said that they don't charge for the venue rental itself--they get paid through the price of the meals! So check on that.

Also, don't be worried about searching outside of what you would normally consider to be your ideal geographic location. Probably over half of my guest list is people in Maryland, but I chose a venue in NE PA! Why? Partially because the venue was perfect, but also because the area holds sentimental meaning to me. So, don't feel trapped into going with a venue that's at best 'meh' just because it's nearby. Let me tell you, my family and friends are totally excited about my venue because there's so much fun stuff to do there, and they all want to make a little vacation out of it (it's Memorial Day weekend anyway, so that helps

).

It's a bit of a pain, but if you do your research, you'll find something that's just what you're after, and in budget too. I have no doubt about it!

 

[princessplease]

Date: 8/26/2009 3:30:21 PM
Author: elledizzy5
I prefer not to think about it, actually.

Ditto!

 

[meresal]

We choose to think, "This is our ONE DAY to go huge!" and we did. It was the best party I have ever been to, and we got to be with all of our friends and family.

 

[Londongirl1]

Date: 8/27/2009 7:52:41 AM
Author: gwendolyn

Really, the main costs for us are the immigration paperwork and interviews we have to do to prove we''re a legit couple (because we''re international)--once we have that, we can get a date for the registry office. And the other large expense will be my dress. Even still, costs will be around $5000 for both weddings combined, everything included (sans the honeymoon). So, yeah, that''s how!

Gwendolyn - will you be staying permanently in the US after the US wedding or are you coming back to the UK? (Sorry to go off topic guys - my SO is from the US and I''m from the UK so we''re doing the international thing too)

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 8/27/2009 9:48:12 AM
Author: Londongirl1

Date: 8/27/2009 7:52:41 AM

Author: gwendolyn


Really, the main costs for us are the immigration paperwork and interviews we have to do to prove we''re a legit couple (because we''re international)--once we have that, we can get a date for the registry office. And the other large expense will be my dress. Even still, costs will be around $5000 for both weddings combined, everything included (sans the honeymoon). So, yeah, that''s how!

Gwendolyn - will you be staying permanently in the US after the US wedding or are you coming back to the UK? (Sorry to go off topic guys - my SO is from the US and I''m from the UK so we''re doing the international thing too)

We''ll be staying in the UK for a few years at least. We''re only going over to the US for the party and to visit with friends before coming back to normal life back here in London. Maybe eventually we''ll move back to the US, but not anytime soon. What about you?

 

[NuggetBrain]

I am trying not to think about how much money we''re spending on our wedding. We don''t even have a house yet, so every penny it''s like "Well, that''s one cent less we have to buy a house with". We''re at about 18k right now which is so, so much more than we wanted to spend on this.

 

[meresal]

I should add that our parents paid for everything. If it had been our bill, we would have eloped with family and anyone that wanted to join.