Do you go through phases of being calm and then obsessive again???

[chocolatefudge]

Hi Ladies,

I''ve been feeling very calm about getting engaged lately and actually was not thinking about it very often at all, however, my obsessive streak re-appeared yesterday and once again it''s all I can think about! I don''t know what''s started it off but I''ve been feeling very fed up lately. I feel like I''m in limbo! Not getting engaged yet not able to get into property ladder as things in UK are crazy right now, and we''re not even going on holiday this year as we are trying to save money. My poor cat still hasn''t come home and I think he''s been stolen. I''m just feeling really low!
SO says we will engaged by the end of the year so I''m crossing my fingers that that does actually happen as he has a tendency to extend timelines........

Not really a purpose to this thread, just wanted a bit of a vent! Thanks for reading

 

[gwendolyn]

Aww, babe, I hear you--sounds like this is more than just being an LIW. It sounds like you''re not very happy with how life is treating you at the moment, and I am so very sorry to hear that your cat is still missing.

I hope something changes for the better soon so you can get out of this funk and go back to being relaxed and chill.

 

[absolut_blonde]

Aw. I''m sorry about your cat

I think it''s totally normal to go back and forth a bit. At least, I hope so-- ''cause I do it too! It sounds like you have a lot going on in general, so it''s understandable that the stress might get to you now and then. I notice I get more LIW-angsty when I''m stressed out, too.

Or other times, it''s just a little twinge that I feel when someone else gets engaged (I''m still happy for them, but I''m sure others understand the wistful feeling you get), or when we get lapped, etc. Generally I freak out privately over it, go on here, or go to the gym to work it off and then I feel better later.

 

[Izzy03]

I am right there with you! I was pretty obsessed around Christmas time and calmed down. Now I am going crazy again. I think my problem is that a lot of friends are getting married, engaged, and having babies. I feel like my life is at a standstill, and I also feel like some people around me belittle my relationship as not being "that serious" because I am not married or engaged. My boyfriend has already told me that we would be engaged by now, but the money just isn''t there (Damn the real estate market!) I don''t post very often, but you all really do keep me from losing my mind!

 

[Octavia]

I absolutely had "cycles" when I was a LIW. Funny enough, I had just come off an "I'm ready NOW, darn it, and it's gonna kill me to wait" phase and was into an "eh, it'll happen when it happens, no big rush" phase when FI proposed!

I hope you get good news about your kitty soon.

 

[wishful]

Sorry about your kitty!

. but Yes I do the same thing. I obsess and then try to let it alone. Right now I think my BF is ready to kill me b/c I can''t even go one day with out hinting or asking "so, what did you do today???

...anything ...interesting?"
He just rolls his eyes.
haha..

 

[KCCutie]

Just about every other day, and it''s worse when I had other stress from other areas of my life as well. You''re certainly not alone.

He''s told you that he has a time line and if all goes as planned you''re only about 6 months out, that''s not so far. Just try to concentrate on how happy you are as a couple for now. I n 6 months everything will change and you''ll never have this time back so try to appreciate it now. Of course that''s much easier said than done, but I find a lot of time just sitting down and venting about it then reminding myself how happy I really am really does wonders.

 

[mayachel]

Yes, Yes, Yes. I go from super obsessive thinking about it, reading about it, reading wedding blogs, looking at stones and rings, then get fed up with it, vow to push it out of mind, and two weeks later someone asks why we haven''t gotten engaged yet, and I''m left stalking him into midnight conversations about his intentions, which usually calm me down, but put me back on the plotting and thinking mode. My goal when I''m obsessive, is to do something entirely for me. Get a pedicure, call a friend, make a great meal, sit outside and stare at trees...

 

[francesfarmer]

Chocolagefudge,
I''m really sorry about your cat.

I''ve noticed I go through phases (usually 2 weeks on, 2 weeks off) about wanting to get engaged or not being eager. I read something once that it may have something to do with fertility/times of the month but I''m not sure how accurate that is.

 

[M&MS]

I hope your kitty is okay!

YES, I feel like I have engagement PMS sessions in addition to the usual PMS that comes on once a month. I usually have a mental breakdown about once ever 3 or 6 months (for about 4 years now so it''s become a regular event). My BF gets REALLY frustrated about it, but sometimes I think it''s completely warranted. Like on our 7 year anniversary when I got nothing (we are long distance and he had given me an early present but still, not even an e-card). I bawled my eyes out that day and fell into a giant pit of depression about not being engaged. Then I got over it. Right now I''m on a high because the next month holds some potential...I feel like I can almost smell it. But I''m terrified because I know that if my mental "timeline" doesn''t work out, I''m going to completely wig out on him again.

It''s hard to be LIW! You are not alone!! You can cry on my shoulder anytime!