Do You Hate It???

[Kaili]

Hi ladies,
I haven''t been around for awhile with the stresses of work and wedding planning on a minute timeline, but I could really use some help!!

I ordered this dress about a month ago, but since day 2 I have been panicking. I really do not love my dress.... it is just "ok." In some fits of bridal psychosis, I even hate it

. I''m locked into the purchase, so that is not up for debate. I bought it under a timeline pressure, by myself (long story behind that situation), and with only a few hours of sleep----- DUH!!!

I feel TOTALLY ridiculous, but I have made an appointment to try on dresses again to possibly purchase a second dress!!! How crazy and self indulgent is that???!!!! (That is a rhetorical question

)

I would truly love to have your oppinions on the dress. Don''t worry, I realize that everyone has different taste. I would really like your honest reaction to the gown. You can tell me that you hate it, you love it, you think it is just OK, or any combination thereof.

Thanks for any input you might have for this girl who can''t see the forrest for the trees right now.

 

[Kaili]

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[Kaili]

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[monarch64]

Kaili, not sure why you hate it? I''m not sure I''m lovin'' it, but it looks alright to moi.

If it''s just "alright" to you, though...I would definitely go and try on more, no matter whether you''re "locked" into the current dress. Can''t have you feeling less than 100% about your dress, now!!!

 

[Kaili]

Thank you so much for responding Monarch! I guess I''m hating it sometimes because I don''t love it and feel like I made a huge mistake. I''m also kind of embarrassed because buying another dress seems so self indulgent and spoiled. Everyone keeps telling me that you know "the one" when you try it on, but I''ve had a hard time finding the image that is in my mind.

Thanks for your input. It really helps

 

[Selkie]

If you don't love it now, you probably never will. I bought a dress soon after I got engaged that I really thought I liked, but as I've looked at more styles, I've decided to get a different one. I don't think that's very uncommon. Luckily, I didn't pay much, and I'm just going to try to resell it on eBay. As for the dress itself, I think the basic style looks good on you, but the detailing on the bodice is a little too fussy...sorry, that's not a great word, but I can't really come up with anything better right now. What color is it? It looks almost beige in the pics.

ETA-When's the wedding??

 

[JulieN]

ebay?

 

[Kaili]

LOL.... TOTALLY Ebay. That is what I was thinking too!

I do like the cut, but what is bothering me is the beading (as you said- too fussy). It is too much for me.

The dress is diamond white- the pictures are really bad. It is prettier in person, but I just don''t feel good about it.

The wedding is the last weekend in September.

Here is a picture of the ad.

 

[Selkie]

Well, 4 months is cutting it a little close, but it''s not undoable to find something else. Do you have other dresses in mind?

 

[Kaili]

I keep looking at dresses online and in magazines. I am drawn toward Alvina Valenta, Amsale, and Justina McCaffrey. Unfortunately, the prices are pretty steep. I know that I want strapless, A-line or ball gown skirt, and a little something to the back. I''m not into lace, and beading needs to be minimal (I already made that mistake once). If you have any suggestions (designer or otherwise), I''m open.

I can''t thank you enough for responding!!

 

[Selkie]

Date: 5/6/2006 1:40:23 AM
Author: Kaili
I keep looking at dresses online and in magazines. I am drawn toward Alvina Valenta, Amsale, and Justina McCaffrey. Unfortunately, the prices are pretty steep. I know that I want strapless, A-line or ball gown skirt, and a little something to the back. I''m not into lace, and beading needs to be minimal (I already made that mistake once). If you have any suggestions (designer or otherwise), I''m open.


I can''t thank you enough for responding!!

Heh, "pretty steep" is an understatement, for those designers! But yummy stuff, my word. I went to a very upscale salon in Orange County this week, and walked through the rooms with those dresses without looking right or left...they were having a sample sale, so I headed for that room.

Interesting thing...Justina McCaffrey apparently has a "budget-conscious" collection called Miryam that is totally unadvertised, even on the company website. I tried on one of the dresses at the salon (Mon Amie, if you are in the LA/OC area) and LOVED it. It was STILL $1500, mind you. It was a very simple A-line strapless with boning in a band at the waist and minimal beading on the bodice. The dress was pearl white, and the band at the waist was actually an ice blue color. I didn''t see any other Miryam dresses, but that one was sweet.

 

[Selkie]

This is a Justina McCaffrey that looks very similar to the one I tried, except the band at the waist was a little narrower and it was ice blue, and there was less beading.

 

[diamondfan]

I too do not love it. It is a lovely dress but something about it is a bit off to me. And, to me, if you can afford it, buy what you love. Try to sell this one or donate it somehow and take the write off if you can (not sure it is possible)...BUT...I could not imagine walking down the aisle in a dress that did not make me feel amazing, like a princess. Maybe if you do find THE dress, you can sell this one on consignment somehow. Just make sure they know it was never worn and there is no bad karma associated!!!

 

[Selkie]

Oh, and it''s about twice as much as the one I tried, too!

 

[ocbride2007]

I''m not personally a fan of the a-line or ball gowns for myself, but I always admire them on others. I think the pictures are making it look more dull, since it looks ivory or cream. However, the model pic with the diamond white looks lovely. I''m sure it looks wonderful in person!

However, you don''t want to look back on your wedding pics years from now and just think "I hate that dress." If you''re not happy with it, try on some others. Maybe you should look for some lower priced gowns at first so you don''t feel so guilty... you may find you really like the one you have! Or you may find there''s another one you love so much more. Bottom line, you don''t want any wedding day regrets... it''s your day to feel wonderful and beautiful, don''t worry about being self-indulgent. It''s YOUR wedding, after all.

Good luck, and if you do decide to get another dress post some pics!

 

[Kaili]

Wow! What a gorgeous dress you posted, Selkie. I am actually going to the shop you went to. I know which one it is because I know they are having a sample sale right now. I grew up in that area and have bought bridesmaid dresses in the past from them. What great info about the Myriam dresses. I will ask to see them.

Diamondfan, thank you for your input. I totally agree with you. Finances are an issue, but I just keep getting this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach when I think about the dress that I bought.

You gals are the best!

 

[diamondfan]

Kalli, I agree with Ocbride. You never want to look back and say Gosh I did not like that dress but wore it anyway. It is funny sometimes to look back years later on things and say, did I really wear that or do my hair that way...basing it on the style of the times...but hey, this is YOUR big day, one of the biggest of your life and a day I am sure you thought about many times, even without being engaged...so, it is worth now trying to come up with something workable to make sure you are wearing something you feel great and special in! Good luck...

 

[Jelly]

I think it''s a beautiful dress and you will look gorgeous in it!

If you are anything like me, I''d want to spend the least amount I can on the dress and save my money for some blingy bridal jewelry! At least you''ll wear your jewelry more than once!

 

[Selkie]

Cool! They had tons of samples, the vast majority were 8''s and 10''s, of course. Didn''t help me, I''m a 16-18, but it was fun to look. If you ever need a dress shopping buddy, I''m starting to look in earnest around here too. Which is really WEIRD for me, because I used to shudder at the thought of wearing a wedding gown. I''m just a natural born researcher, I guess.

Have you tried Alfred Angelo and David''s?

 

[JulieN]

Jim Hjelm? no idea about the price range, though.

 

[Kaili]

OC, Thanks for the suggestions- great ideas. I like slimmer cut skirts too, but unfortunately I am self conscious about my lower half and the fuller skirts make me feel more comfortable.

Diamondfan, you are so right... I don''t want to end up with the equivalent to a beehive, and look back in horror at my wedding photos

. hee hee

Jelly, thank you for your thoughts. I like your idea of saving for the jewelry- that''s how I got to these boards in the first place

Selkie... I just might take you up on the shopping offer although you already know how psycho I''ve become about this whole dress thing When is your wedding? Have you found styles that you like?

 

[Selkie]

Date: 5/6/2006 2:27:01 AM
Author: Kaili

Selkie... I just might take you up on the shopping offer although you already know how psycho I''ve become about this whole dress thing When is your wedding? Have you found styles that you like?

Ummm, it''s in *cough* July 2007...yeah, I''m starting a little early. Bridal psychosis comes in many forms. I have, in fact, found three totally different dresses I like, but the biggest problem is that I haven''t been able to try them on in anything approaching my size, so I don''t know how they''d actually look. I''m self conscious about my upper half-I have very broad shoulders, so anything exposing too much of that area is out. Which knocks out 80% of the dresses out there because they are strapless.

You said you hadn''t been around in a while, did you see the thread about the proposed third LA area get-together? They are thinking about May 20th at South Coast.

 

[E B]

Kaili,

What about the dress don't you like?

 

[blodthecat]

The bottom half of the dress would be a bit too puffed out for me. I prefer something a bit softer and flowing.

Question is....can you afford to write it off and start again?

 

[sydneycasandra]

Kaili,

I *completely* understand your situation... look back a couple pages for my thread, entitled something like "I now own four wedding dresses; help! aka insane dress saga" or something like that. I too did not love my dress (actually borderline hate, psychoses or not!) And I didn''t figure it out until a month before the wedding (which is now in 18 days.) I did the consignment shop/david''s bridal thing, and eventually got dresses from white house/black market. I don''t know if something "off the rack" would be an option for you (how formal is the wedding?) but it''s certainly a thought, especially since in my opinion the dresses that are sold from such vendors (WH/BM, Ann taylor, J Crew) seem to be less weirdly made than traditional bridal gowns. (Unless you are, in fact, 6 feet tall, 110 lbs and wear an F cup.) Perhaps some of those stores would be an option? I purchased the "Savannah" gown from Wh/BM, and although not traditionally bridal in any sense, I really like the dress. Their other selections seemed nice as welll.

Long story short, no you''re not insane, but perhaps you can limit the $$ invested in a new dress by purchasing a non-bridal white gown, if it is appropriate for your wedding, or try consignment stores? That way you don''t feel so bad about having sunk lots more money in (assuming that money is an issue here, maybe it''s not). Good luck finding the dress that you will feel beautiful in; you seem to have a very nice shape from your pics, so it shouldn''t be hard at all!

 

[AndyRosse]

Honestly, I really like how you look in the dress in the first pic. When I see the closer pic of the top, I don''t love it as much, but it certainly isn''t hideous. There is just something bothering me about that top part.

But in the end, you are not happy, so I would definitely try to sell this dress and find another one you love. Just be careful about your timeline, because you don''t need the added stress of worrying whether this dress will arrive in time for your wedding!!

When you go to your appointment, please take pics, we would all love to see them!

 

[moon river]

I''m not crazy about the top of the dress from far off. Once I see the close up, I like the pattern better. I just don''t like the effect it gives from far off for some reason.

 

[Kaili]

Oh my gosh, ladies, thank you for all of the input. It''s really helping me sort through things in my mind.

Selkie, I WISH I was shopping as early as you -you are smart! That way, you have time to find what you love on you and work out the kinks. BTW, I would love to do an LA get together!

Ebree, I think I like the basic design, but the beading bothers me. I feel like it almost looks silver. In the pictures, it almost looks like armor to me. My sister finally got to see it in person and says that it doesn''t look silver, and it does sparkle a lot from the swarovski crystals. I look at other dresses now and see beading that doesn''t bother me, but it is usually a bit lighter looking and has a more delicate pattern. I guess the major problem is that this dress isn''t what I always envisioned. If the bodice was smoother, I think I would like it a lot more. I like simple lines, covered buttons, tailored or simple bows, and minimal beading. A dress wouldn''t have to have all of those components, though, at the same time

Antiqua, I''ll have to look up your thread right away, so I can "walk through" the journey with you. Off the rack or consignment is definitely an option. I''m open to anything. I''m not familiar with White House/ Black Market. I''ll have to google them.

I''m going to try on dresses this weekend again, so I''ll try to take pics to share with all of you amazing ladies!
Thank you

 

[E B]

Date: 5/6/2006 11:32:46 AM
Author: Kaili

Ebree, I think I like the basic design, but the beading bothers me. I feel like it almost looks silver. In the pictures, it almost looks like armor to me. My sister finally got to see it in person and says that it doesn''t look silver, and it does sparkle a lot from the swarovski crystals. I look at other dresses now and see beading that doesn''t bother me, but it is usually a bit lighter looking and has a more delicate pattern. I guess the major problem is that this dress isn''t what I always envisioned. If the bodice was smoother, I think I would like it a lot more. I like simple lines, covered buttons, tailored or simple bows, and minimal beading. A dress wouldn''t have to have all of those components, though, at the same time

It sounds like you and I have extremely similar taste in gowns, so I know what you mean. As for your gown, I don''t hate it at all. What I''m wondering is what it''d look like in sunlight...with all the beading, it might shimmer beautifully. It might even look stunning in candlelight. Sometimes, lighting is everything. If you''re not in love with it, though, is there any chance you can return it to the same salon for some store credit and pick something else that they have? Or, since you like the sleek, minimally beaded look, how about going with a white/ivory bridesmaid gown? No one would ever know the difference. Here are some that might work (and wouldn''t be more than $300):

Jim Hjelm

Bill Levkoff

Bill Levkoff 2