lulu
Ideal_Rock
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Do you live with your boyfriend?
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Lauren8211
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Always take with a grain of salt.
Those who are more likely to live together before marriage are also more likely to CONSIDER a divorce.
Not to mention, that includes people that only got married because they were living together and it was the "next step"
Statistics mean nothing to the individual. Living together before marriage wont ruin a relationship, but it could make a bad one lead to marriage anyway, IMO. Its easy to manipulate statistics to say whatever we want.
princesss
Ideal_Rock
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What she said.
ALSO, a study was conducted to check how happy couples were that lived together (and it broke down the living together couples into living together for convenience, as a trial run, and as the next step/progression of the relationship) vs. those that did not live together before marriage. While the couples that did not live together had a lower rate of divorce after 10 years, the couples that lived together as the next step/natural progression of their relationship reported higher levels of happiness and satisfaction in their relationships. It''s been quoted in these threads before (I think Musey was the one who brought it up originally).
Basically, it boils down to all of us making our own choices and being happy.
lilyfoot
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FrekeChild
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Lauren8211
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FrekeChild
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Lauren8211
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misskitty
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Lauren8211
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Thats what happens when your job sucks.
Ok, I''m going to actually contribute to this thread since I''ve mucked it up with my nonsense.
DH and I lived together in sin for over 2 years before we got engaged. It was an adjustment at first, obviously, but we learned how to live together in time to make the first year of marriage fantastic. Ok, Ok, we''re only 3 weeks in, but the first 3 weeks have been awesome, and I''ve already learned to tolerate coming home to rogue socks dispersed throughout the living room.
I learned to pick my battles. I don''t detest socks enough to fight about them, so there they lie.
IMO, living together helped.
FrekeChild
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princesss
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Dangit, just when I got my freaking boxing gloves on, too. I''m always late to the party.Date: 10/29/2009 3:18:03 PM
Author: FrekeChild
Wedding pictures vs. talking about living in sinDate: 10/29/2009 3:08:53 PM
Author: elledizzy5
Depends on what is fueling my rage.
Yeah, living in sin is definitely more battle worthy. Goodness knows we''ve battled over this topic before...lucily we were on the SAME SIDE on that topic.
FrekeChild
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4ever
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BF and I have been living together since the beginning of the year. Prior to this we had lived together for months at a time while traveling.
I like living with him, I can''t imagine not. We have spent more then enough of our relationship (very very) long distance that once we could be together in the same place we didn''t want to waste any more time.
I like living with him, I can''t imagine not. We have spent more then enough of our relationship (very very) long distance that once we could be together in the same place we didn''t want to waste any more time.
lucyandroger
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Sure do. We've lived together for 2 1/2 years and we'll have been together for 4 years next month. Moving in together felt very natural to us and I really can't imagine it any other way.
As a side note, anybody who makes major life decisions based off of statistics about other people's happiness is a bit
IMO.
As a side note, anybody who makes major life decisions based off of statistics about other people's happiness is a bit
CNOS128
Ideal_Rock
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Ya know, before I lived with my then-boyfriend, I felt very strongly that I didn''t want to live with him pre-marriage (or at least engagement). Now that we are living together (and married), I am the biggest proponent of living together before marriage -- I''ll tell anyone who will listen. Maybe it''s because I don''t deal well with change, but I think if we''d moved in together after the wedding, it would have been too much for me to handle all at once. We had to figure out how to live together first, and then the transition to marriage was a lot smoother.
But, that''s just my perspective. Plenty of people have great experiences moving in together after they get married. I think the outcome depends a lot on who you are and how you relate to people. (And how much adjustment time you need to transition).
But, that''s just my perspective. Plenty of people have great experiences moving in together after they get married. I think the outcome depends a lot on who you are and how you relate to people. (And how much adjustment time you need to transition).
emeraldlover1
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6 years ago when I met my husband I had some rules I wanted to follow. I said that I wanted to be engaged before we moved in together however I changed my mind for a number of different reasons. We moved in together in the apartment that we bought together (gasp, I know), 2 years before we got married. Hey, guess what, now we are happily married and he''s still the only guy I have ever lived with and...we didn''t treat living together as a trial run. That is why I used to preface things with, "I reserve the right to change my mind".
The situation is so individualized and I was very happy with the decision that I made. I think its great when couples make the decision to live together. I also think its not for everybody. People make different decisions as to why to get married and stay married that its impossible, in my opinion, to pin point why these things happen. My only hope is that people make the best decision for them.
The situation is so individualized and I was very happy with the decision that I made. I think its great when couples make the decision to live together. I also think its not for everybody. People make different decisions as to why to get married and stay married that its impossible, in my opinion, to pin point why these things happen. My only hope is that people make the best decision for them.
misskitty
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Spin-off question, because it''s totally on my mind now:
For those of you who live with your SO, who''s the bigger neat freak? I always thought it would be me, but I feel like such a slob in comparison to B! It''s really kind of funny, because I''m generally such a tidy person, but one of the big adjustments we went through was reconciling how spotless our condo should be.
For those of you who live with your SO, who''s the bigger neat freak? I always thought it would be me, but I feel like such a slob in comparison to B! It''s really kind of funny, because I''m generally such a tidy person, but one of the big adjustments we went through was reconciling how spotless our condo should be.
My BF is a bit neater in everyday things maybe, but neither of us are slobs really. I might let things go but I guess he does too, since I don''t see him straightening up the apartment. =p I think he thought I was going to be too messy for him, but I do well for the most part (ignore the current pile of dishes). Even when I lived on my own, it would get a bit messy and then I would go through and tidy things up and get them sorted. We haven''t really had any issues on that front. Since I''m home more, I have more time and find myself doing the laundry and dishes and tidying up.
I never felt like this wasn''t my home too. BF cleared out half the closet space, half the bathroom space for me before I came here. I think what might have helped the most was that he had zero decor, and I brought along a lot of posters and photos and stuff and so I got to decorate and make things look nice. And he''s happy with how things look.
princesss
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vc10um
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I think we''re about even. I''m pickier about some things, and he''s pickier about others. Regardless, I admittedly get a little insane before family visits--a neurosis passed on to me from my mother.
The one thing that really works for us is the rule that whoever cooks doesn''t do the dishes. That was the biggest problem we had after we moved together...I felt like I was doing everything. After I got really upset, we decided on that rule, and everything else pretty much flows.
lulu
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AustenNut
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I''m in the minority on this board, but I do not love with my boyfriend. We''ve been together for 10 months, and he''s said he''d like to get engaged by around March, with a wedding toward the end of 2010. I guess I was just raised that I should wait until marrying a man before living with him, and it just kind of stuck.
As far as whether or not it''s effect my LIW status, I don''t really know. I know my bf really wants to marry me, but whether or not it''d be less urgent for him if we were living together, I don''t know.
As far as whether or not it''s effect my LIW status, I don''t really know. I know my bf really wants to marry me, but whether or not it''d be less urgent for him if we were living together, I don''t know.
lilyfoot
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lilyfoot
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Honestly, we''re almost the same in our neat-freakness (luckily for me
We never had to sit down and discuss who was going to do what, we just fell into our habits and it works.
stepcutgirl
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We''ve been dating for four and a half years and been living together for four years. I love it. I love eating dinner together, watching tv in bed, going to bed and waking up with him. I even love it when he comes home late after poker night and it wakes me up. I don''t think it hurts my LIW-itis. I think it probably helps it because we are so close that when I do get a little bajiggity he can tell and he calms me down and reminds me of why I fell in love with him.
winelover23
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Me by a million percent. I have a serious case of OCD. I clean my bathrooms every single day. I can''t leave my house with the bed unmade. I can''t sleep with anything on the floors of any room or with dishes in the sink. I am slowly learning to control my issue because um ya I live with a dude and it''s impossible to keep this up. Plus I have a 3-1/2 year old. Although I''m proud to say I''ve passed my craziness on to her because she has to line up her shoes perfectly before she gets in bed! I''m so proud
vc10um
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WL, this made me LOL at my desk.Date: 10/30/2009 1:32:11 PM
Author: winelover23
Me by a million percent. I have a serious case of OCD. I clean my bathrooms every single day. I can''t leave my house with the bed unmade. I can''t sleep with anything on the floors of any room or with dishes in the sink. I am slowly learning to control my issue because um ya I live with a dude and it''s impossible to keep this up. Plus I have a 3-1/2 year old. Although I''m proud to say I''ve passed my craziness on to her because she has to line up her shoes perfectly before she gets in bed! I''m so proud
Callisto
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I''m neater than he is but since we live with 2 other roommates that are messier than either of us its kind of irrelevant. I''m too busy cleaning up after them to worry about cleaning up after him. Plus he does 90% of the yard work so I don''t mind doing more housework.
The only exception is making the bed. It''s the one tidying thing I just never saw the point of haha. You just get back into bed 16 hours later... He, on the other hand, loves getting into a made bed so he makes it pretty often. And I make it if I leave after him (in exchange for him killing any bugs in the house and not whining about me being a baby for not wanting to kill them)
Lauren8211
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Hahahha! Ditto!Date: 10/30/2009 2:15:24 PM
Author: vc10um
WL, this made me LOL at my desk.Date: 10/30/2009 1:32:11 PM
Author: winelover23
Me by a million percent. I have a serious case of OCD. I clean my bathrooms every single day. I can''t leave my house with the bed unmade. I can''t sleep with anything on the floors of any room or with dishes in the sink. I am slowly learning to control my issue because um ya I live with a dude and it''s impossible to keep this up. Plus I have a 3-1/2 year old. Although I''m proud to say I''ve passed my craziness on to her because she has to line up her shoes perfectly before she gets in bed! I''m so proud
I am definitely the neat one. I''m the only one who cleans anything. I feel fortunate on days that he at least puts his dishes away.
He is required to take out the garbage once a week, kill bugs, and provide technical support.
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