Do you smooch your kid on the lips?

[iheartscience]

No, simply because it's not part of my "family culture". It didn't even cross my mind, I've always assoiciated lip-kissing with a boyfriend/spouse. I don't sexualize this behaviour though and find "stepmom" from the letter to be ridiculously jealous.

Ditto this! I don't have any kids but we're strictly a cheek kissing family. I don't think it's sexual but it is kind of strange to me because my family just doesn't do it. Of course every now and then my little nieces and nephews manage to plant a slobbery one on me or my husband's mouth, but none of my siblings kiss their kids on the mouth in general.

ETA now that I think about it, the adults in my immediate family all mostly hug each other, and don't even do a cheek kiss. I think it's partly regional too. My dad's from the Midwest and his side are all strictly huggers. My mom's from Boston and all of my aunts and uncles up there definitely give the hug and a big kiss on the cheek. And when I used to go to NYC for work I always dreaded getting the awkward hug and kiss on the cheek from sales reps!

 

[fieryred33143]

Re: family culture it isn't in our culture to kiss on the lips. We are hispanic though so there's lots of kissing in general especially when we greet or say goodbye. It's very natural to me. I'm not sure why I kiss S on the lips though. I thought about it tonight when I got home so I gave her a kiss on the cheek and she looked at me funny.

 

[Mara]

Fiery you mention culture, do you mean Hispanic? Is that not the culture to kiss on the lips? I ask because I am half and my Mom who is Hispanic was my primary (only) and she never kissed me on the mouth nor did my G'ma. I know most of it is because of germs for her anyway, but wondering if some of it is culture in general.

The ironic thing is that even though we don't kiss J on the mouth he loves to get his stringy saliva hands all over us and on our faces and in our eyeballs anyway so we're always infected with HIS little germies!

 

[fieryred33143]

Hey Mara-yes Hispanic but I don't think I've ever seen kissing on the lips. Cheeks yes but not on lips. At least not from my experience.

That's why I'm confused why I started to kiss Sophia on the lips. Something else I noticed, she doesn't give open mouth kisses. She puckers (as much as she can).

 

[Dreamer_D]

We do. I never really thought about it before. I remembering my mom kissing me on the lips and once I got to 3rd or 4th grade (maybe? Who can remember) it just transitioned to the cheek. I don't plan on kissing her on the lips forever but she is a baby (to me). About tooth decay, I have so many other problems, I choose not to worry about that!

Amen! HA!

 

[Pandora II]

My parents kissed us on the lips till we were about 13 - it sort of coincided with us each going to boarding school and so dropping the goodnight kiss routine. Now we cheek kiss.

My siblings all kiss their kids on the lips. I kiss Daisy on the lips too.

I'm not a germaphobe in the slightest - antibacterial sprays etc are not found in my house. I have a very strong immune system that Daisy seems to have inherited (2 colds in 16 months). D is forever feeding me half sucked biscuits etc so I guess it's a good thing!

 

[Porridge]

I don't have any problem with families kissing on the lips but it's not anything we ever did in our family.

The stepmom from that article sounds ridiculous.

 

[E B]

We do. I never really thought about it before. I remembering my mom kissing me on the lips and once I got to 3rd or 4th grade (maybe? Who can remember) it just transitioned to the cheek. I don't plan on kissing her on the lips forever but she is a baby (to me). About tooth decay, I have so many other problems, I choose not to worry about that!

Amen! HA!

Well, if you can spread the bugs by blowing on your child's food, I say smooch all you want! They're going to get them somehow.

Oddly enough, as a germophobe, kissing my baby's slobbery lips doesn't bother me. To me, he seems...germless? I know that's silly, but the idea doesn't bother me. Now, sharing drinks and whatnot- we'll see. I hesitate to do that with my husband, even.

 

[MonkeyPie]

Oddly enough, as a germophobe, kissing my baby's slobbery lips doesn't bother me. To me, he seems...germless? I know that's silly, but the idea doesn't bother me. Now, sharing drinks and whatnot- we'll see. I hesitate to do that with my husband, even.

Haha, ditto this! I would always see other babies rubbing their drool all over mom and be like, "Ewwww!" With Micah, it's more like, "Awww." I haven't had a fear of sharing drinks yet, but Micah isn't eating "real" food yet either...maybe when floaties become a possibility I will change my mind

 

[E B]

Oddly enough, as a germophobe, kissing my baby's slobbery lips doesn't bother me. To me, he seems...germless? I know that's silly, but the idea doesn't bother me. Now, sharing drinks and whatnot- we'll see. I hesitate to do that with my husband, even.

Haha, ditto this! I would always see other babies rubbing their drool all over mom and be like, "Ewwww!" With Micah, it's more like, "Awww." I haven't had a fear of sharing drinks yet, but Micah isn't eating "real" food yet either...maybe when floaties become a possibility I will change my mind

Oh, man- before they can control it, it's gross. And what's worse is that Henry always wants a sip of my water, so I make sure I'm finished before I let him drink. One day, when he can control it, I'll share. Possibly.

 

[janinegirly]

We do. I never really thought about it before. I remembering my mom kissing me on the lips and once I got to 3rd or 4th grade (maybe? Who can remember) it just transitioned to the cheek. I don't plan on kissing her on the lips forever but she is a baby (to me). About tooth decay, I have so many other problems, I choose not to worry about that!

Amen! I'll brush her teeth extra hard in order to not give up the kisses. This is one of those things I choose not to worry about. Germs--there are plenty of opportunities for us to pass germs to each other,..sharing of cutlery (lately she likes to feed me her food..hey whatever it takes to get her to mimic!), hand holding,etc etc! Still it's nothing like daycare germs and thankfully DD has never really been sick as a result, so something must be working. Common sense prevails--if I'm under the weather, I do none of the above. If I did carry the herpes virus (most people do get tested regularly so should be aware of status, cold sores are a strain etc.), duh, I would not be kissing on the lips etc.

 

[somethingshiny]

I've never heard of people getting tested regularly for herpes. In a standard STD panel sure, but I don't know any married couple who gets tested. Also, I don't know if the type of herpes found in the mouth (usually) would appear on an STD panel.

 

[janinegirly]

I've never heard of people getting tested regularly for herpes. In a standard STD panel sure, but I don't know any married couple who gets tested. Also, I don't know if the type of herpes found in the mouth (usually) would appear on an STD panel.

It would be included as a strain of herpes, I forgot the types but they test for all strains as far as I know. And I would think most people would get tested and then after marriage, know their status/status of their partner at that point anyway. Or ask for it the next time you go in for your annual. Obviously if you have ever had a cold sore then there's your answer. It's common for sure, but my point is common sense-if you've had it, don't go kissing your babies while there's a sore. But to me, this alone is not a solid argument against lip kissing of children by their parents. Not to mention cold sores can be passed via other methods as easily.

 

[E B]

I've never heard of people getting tested regularly for herpes. In a standard STD panel sure, but I don't know any married couple who gets tested. Also, I don't know if the type of herpes found in the mouth (usually) would appear on an STD panel.

This may be a silly question, but if there are any doctors (or anyone in the know) lurking, are canker sores caused by the herpes virus?

ETA: Nevermind, it appears they are not.

 

[Jennifer W]

We do. I never really thought about it before. I remembering my mom kissing me on the lips and once I got to 3rd or 4th grade (maybe? Who can remember) it just transitioned to the cheek. I don't plan on kissing her on the lips forever but she is a baby (to me). About tooth decay, I have so many other problems, I choose not to worry about that!

Amen! HA!

Ah, see, tooth decay is one of my big anxieties (for myself mostly, but I like to worry about the kid too). I have very fragile enamel and a learned aversion to dentistry, so this is in my top ten Things To Be Worried About. That and car seat safety. Show me a tiny kid with a cavity, sitting in a front-facing car seat and I'll be up sick all night. I never said it was logical...


I don't give germs a second thought in any other context (as anyone who has visited me at home will know). Amelia does like to kiss us on the mouth, and I wouldn't dream of turning away one of her kisses, so yeah, we do. I cringe inwardly each time, imagining that she's going to emerge with blackened stumps where here teeth used to be. I have obsessive dental hygiene rituals, so it's unlikely, to say the least. As I say, not logical. I have never blown on her food, either.

 

[Bliss]

Ohhhh, I say I'm not going to kiss on the lips but those slobbery baby kisses will be so sweet and cute! I hope I can resist!!! DH says he isn't going to but we'll see if he falls victim to her powers! Do babies instinctively kiss on the lips or are they taught to? Awwww.... I remember my baby cousins kissing me on the cheek and their mushy little cute lips melted my heart.

Since we're discussing one of my phobias (herpes!), they do test for the simplex that causes cold sores. When I met my first OB, she told me that they tested for everything including herpes because the baby can get it. She even asked me if DH ever had a cold sore. When I said no, she seemed disappointed due to the lack of challenges she'd have during birth (as if birth itself isn't a challenge!) and said, "Oh, you're a BORING patient!" Uhhh, sorry we don't have herpes to make it more exciting for you! LOL, I changed to an awesome OBGYN so she kind of did me a favor. But yes, they do test - also because one simplex can also turn into the other type that causes genital herpes, which can cause birth defects. I know it's supposedly very common, or so I've read. It's not surprising since so many people share drinks and etc. Plus, it's very contagious.

 

[jcrow]

no.

not sure why, but i kinda think it's weird. maybe because i wasn't given much affection as a kid [hugs, kisses, i love yous, etc.]?

 

[janinegirly]

I've never heard of people getting tested regularly for herpes. In a standard STD panel sure, but I don't know any married couple who gets tested. Also, I don't know if the type of herpes found in the mouth (usually) would appear on an STD panel.

This may be a silly question, but if there are any doctors (or anyone in the know) lurking, are canker sores caused by the herpes virus?

ETA: Nevermind, it appears they are not.

Canker sores are not. Those are ulcers of unknown exact cause...but most beleive due to stress, spicy food or minor abrasion (bit lip/braces,etc). Not contagious.

Cold sores are Herpex Simplex Virus 1 I believe.

 

[Sabine]

I do, dh doesn't. He said he just doesn't feel comfortable, and that's ok with me as long as he'll kiss his cheek or forehead. Ds is 14 months. I probably won't kiss him on the mouth as he gets older, but I don't know what the age cutoff would be. I would feel weird if other people did. I think my mom did once, and I didn't say anything, but I would prefer or not to.

 

[Steel]

Considering most things family-wise I have an opinion on, I end up changing my mind on as I get older I bet I'll laugh my a$$ off at my reply here in a couple of years but anyhoo...

I'm not comfortable with mouth kissing for kiddies. I wouldn't say I think it is sexualised but I do feel it inappropriate. Not in a oooh point at that way, just that I think not mouth kissing would be better.

I don't really have a reason why. And bet once we have a LO I will take any and all kisses I can get!

 

[Laila619]

We do. I never really thought about it before. I remembering my mom kissing me on the lips and once I got to 3rd or 4th grade (maybe? Who can remember) it just transitioned to the cheek. I don't plan on kissing her on the lips forever but she is a baby (to me). About tooth decay, I have so many other problems, I choose not to worry about that!

Amen! HA!

Yeah, but I'd feel awful if my kid got cavities from me!

 

[Bunny007]

Eeeuuugh no. I feel really weird about kisses on the lips, to or from anyone. It's not that I think it's sexual, it's just not what I grew up with, so it makes me a little uncomfortable. Some people are really insistent lip kissers too! Have you ever tried to dodge a lip kiss? It's kind of funny.

 

[junebug17]

No, when my kids were little I would just kiss them on the cheek or forehead...but I really can't say why! No special reason really, it just didn't occur to me to smooch them on the mouths. They were always moving around so much, it was just easier to give them a quick peck on the cheek!

 

[ForteKitty]

Nobody in my family kiss on the lips. cheeks yes, but no lips. It especially feels weird when i see grown women kissing their uncles on the mouth.

I dont like when friends try to kiss my cheek, and i'm not a germaphobe. Been known to apply the 5 second rule many times. One time my bf's friend had a cold sore and he was drunk and going around kissing everyone on the cheek. He almost got my lip.. i had to go to the bathroom and scrub my face down.

 

[partgypsy]

It's funny, I love to kiss my kids, I kiss them on the tops of their heads, their cheeks, kiss the palms of their hands and close it up so they can "keep a kiss", give them raspberries on their bellies. But I feel reserved giving them kisses on their lips. Don't worry, as other moms have said, my daughter will even grab my head so she can give me a straight on smooch on my lips.

So I don't kiss my kids on the lips but my kids kiss me on the lips and it would break my heart to tell them they couldn't.

 

[steph72276]

Every now and then I do, but most of the time it's on the baby's chunky cheeks that I love so much . But I will take any kisses I can get since I know pretty soon he'll be 5 years old like my older son and be to cool to give his mom a kiss. He will give me a quick peck on the cheek as he's getting out at school and before he goes to bed, but he's already changed my husband over to the goodnight high five and I'm wondering when I'm next!

 

[softly softly]

We do. I never really thought about it before. I remembering my mom kissing me on the lips and once I got to 3rd or 4th grade (maybe? Who can remember) it just transitioned to the cheek. I don't plan on kissing her on the lips forever but she is a baby (to me). About tooth decay, I have so many other problems, I choose not to worry about that!

Amen! HA!

Yeah, but I'd feel awful if my kid got cavities from me!

Not trying to be flip but if your child was to get a cavity how could you ever know it was because you or someone else had kissed them on the lips? As parents we have so many reasons to feel guilty or inadequate, I refuse to feel guilty over showing affection for my kids. And I treasure every kiss and hug I get from them because I know one day they won't be freely offering them.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

We do. I never really thought about it before. I remembering my mom kissing me on the lips and once I got to 3rd or 4th grade (maybe? Who can remember) it just transitioned to the cheek. I don't plan on kissing her on the lips forever but she is a baby (to me). About tooth decay, I have so many other problems, I choose not to worry about that!

Amen! HA!

Yeah, but I'd feel awful if my kid got cavities from me!

Not trying to be flip but if your child was to get a cavity how could you ever know it was because you or someone else had kissed them on the lips? As parents we have so many reasons to feel guilty or inadequate, I refuse to feel guilty over showing affection for my kids. And I treasure every kiss and hug I get from them because I know one day they won't be freely offering them.

I would feel worse if my child felt rejected by me by not allowing her to kiss me on the lips. I am guessing, though I would LOVE to see the research, it is only an issue with decay if you have an untreated cavity. Right? I am lucky and am not too cavity prone. In fact I grew up with my mom kissing us on the lips and had my first cavity as a teen (LONG after she switched to our cheeks). So to all those who are concerned, do you kiss your husbands? I never knew french kissing was so dangerous!

 

[gingerB]

We do. I never really thought about it before. I remembering my mom kissing me on the lips and once I got to 3rd or 4th grade (maybe? Who can remember) it just transitioned to the cheek. I don't plan on kissing her on the lips forever but she is a baby (to me). About tooth decay, I have so many other problems, I choose not to worry about that!

Amen! HA!

Yeah, but I'd feel awful if my kid got cavities from me!

Not trying to be flip but if your child was to get a cavity how could you ever know it was because you or someone else had kissed them on the lips? As parents we have so many reasons to feel guilty or inadequate, I refuse to feel guilty over showing affection for my kids. And I treasure every kiss and hug I get from them because I know one day they won't be freely offering them.

I would feel worse if my child felt rejected by me by not allowing her to kiss me on the lips. I am guessing, though I would LOVE to see the research, it is only an issue with decay if you have an untreated cavity. Right? I am lucky and am not too cavity prone. In fact I grew up with my mom kissing us on the lips and had my first cavity as a teen (LONG after she switched to our cheeks). So to all those who are concerned, do you kiss your husbands? I never knew french kissing was so dangerous!

ditto. and how could you know it wasn't from just other causes? you can be as vigilant and obsessive over dental hygiene as you want, i don't think that gurantees no cavities from just plain old, well food or whatever. my family did not kiss us on the lips, we brushed and flossed and had our twice yearly dental visits as recommended, and my sis, bro and I still all got a few cavities. always just thought it was part of growing up!

i was talking to a friend who just told me how sad she was because her LO has started rejecting the hugs and kisses due to the coolness factor. she was really sad.

 

[Jennifer W]

Yes, you need to have active tooth decay to pass on the bacteria. So if you don't have a cavity, you won't have a problem.

If your child gets a cavity, you'd never know what caused it, no.

I personally would never believe it wasn't my fault, because that's just how I am. We have weak teeth in my family, so her diet is planned with that in mind too. My dentist warned me that she would probably need a general anaesthetic for most dental procedures, and that would be a big, big deal to me.

We all have our parenting neurosis, and there's mine. One reason it came to mind as a first response to this thread is because I do currently have active tooth decay in one tooth, after a failed treatment last month. My dentist specifically warned me to be careful over this until my tooth can be root treated and crowned by a more experienced specialist, but it will take time, as there are some complications and a bit of a waiting list for treatment. Until then, I'll heed his advice and do all I can to avoid causing problems for my child.