Do your family and friends know you have an engagement pending?

[Lozza]

As above - who have you told you are soon to be engaged?

I have only told 2 friends, and definitely haven''t said a word to my family. I''m too worried that 1. I''ll jinx myself and 2. Once they know it''s pending, I''ll get constant questions about it!

If you''ve told people, how did they react? And do you feel more or less pressure now?

 

[bobbin]

None of my friends know how soon it is going to happen. Two know that we have been thinking about it. One of those knows we have been ring shopping, but that is it. My family knows that we have discussed marriage, but again, has no idea how soon it will be happening.

Three of his friends know he has the ring and that we will be getting engaged in the near future. His family does not know.

I don''t feel comfortable talking about it in real life. Getting married young (I am 22) is frowned upon in our circles.

 

[MrsHToBe]

No ones knows when it''ll happen, but I''m pretty sure they assume it''ll be coming.. FF, and I have been together for 8½ years, after all.

 

[ckrickett]

My mom works at a chicken wing restaurant and her patrons that have never met me before know.
I go in there and I sit down and they are like "where is the ring?" rofl, it gets confusing.

 

[princesss]

My mom''s been hoping it was coming for a while now. I think that logically she realizes we''re still a few years off, but there''s a little part of her that''s holding out hope. I honestly think she''s more of a LIW about this than I am right now.

 

[CurlySue]

I can't say I've told a lot of people that I'm soon to be engaged, but many have asked... and there are a lot of people who just assume it's coming.

I don't actually tell my mom the details, because she'll start planning a wedding for me. With that said, I think she knows it should be coming soon. I also don't tell my dad, because... well, we just don't really talk about stuff like that. He too probably assumes I'll be engaged in the next year.

My sister knows about all the conversations between my BF and me, and I have probably six other close girlfriends who know some level of detail (i.e. we talked about rings, we have a timeline, etc.).


ETA: Regarding how people react, they are all very happy for me. Most have met my BF and seen us together and think we're right for one another. I don't feel much pressure, though. All of my friends have been LIW before and are now married, so they know the drill.

I think if my mom knew more details, I'd probably feel a bit of pressure, which I suppose is why I haven't told her!

 

[Snicklefritz]

A few friends, my sister and my parents know. I think SO has told his parents, some friends and his brother that it''s coming. I guess it''s no huge secret from those close to us, but no one knows when it will happen, including me, and we haven''t made a big deal about. Just a mention in passing. I guess we''re excited!

 

[Lauren8211]

I am already engaged, but a lot of people knew it was coming. I wish they hadn''t because it caused a lot of issues. Nothing terrible, but if I could do it all over again I would have kept it to ourselves!

 

[sunnyd]

He told his mom and my grandma that we were going to get married, I told a few friends, everyone else in my family and his probably knew already that we would. When we got our insurance together, my mom said "oh, now you''re stuck with her!" Thanks mom.

I think she was trying to extract info, now that I think about it. She used to ask what we''d do with the kitties if we ever split up, to which we always answered, well that''s not an issue. Sneaky mother!!

 

[pluck15]

I''ve told my *closer* girlfriends that I at least hope its coming soon. No one but SO knows for sure. He has told some of his guy friends his plan and timeline. I don''t discuss it directly with my parents but I''m sure they know its going to happen eventually. My dad will obviously know since SO will be asking for his blessing. Though SO doesn''t want to tell his mom because she knows their entire town! And the news would surely get spread within a day or two when she finds out.

Most people react excitedly. Although 90% of my friends who are dating someone are already engaged or married or even have children! And since I''m 25, SO is 24, we are right at that *avg* age.

 

[princessplease]

A lot of people knew it was coming. When he asked my dad for permission, word spread like wildfire. He also told his mom and dad of his intentions, and they let his whole side of the family know.

 

[jaylex]

My bf told my best friend when he is going to pop the question! My piano teacher (lol) and my good friend/co-worker knows that he has a ring, So does his great aunt and uncle but they don't know when the proposal is coming. My mom doesn't suspect a thing, his mom, stepdad and dad suspects something My dad doesn't really expect it.

We wanted to keep it on the DL so that we can tell people ourselves after it happens. Our mothers want to be the center of attention and if they find out about the proposal before-hand, you better believe I would be the LAST to know I was engaged lol.

We want to tell everyone together!

there doesn't seem to be much pressure, but after I found out he told the bff, i KNEW it was fast approaching.. so I'm super duper excited!

 

[nkarma]

EVERYONE I know has been asking for years now. Including most of my family badgering him on some occasions. I have told some of them that it is getting closer, mostly cause I was so frustrated and they knew about it. And most friends ask me "when is it going to happen" very often now.

 

[trillionaire]

I knew we were moving in that direction, but I kept it to myself, mostly. After he had the ring for about 6 months, I started telling a few people... (my mom, sister, three friends and my roomie). No one made too big a deal of it, because we had been together forever anyway, but I did have one GF that got really angy and frustrated with FI and felt he was taking waaaaaaay too long, etc. It still makes her mad, she is still getting over it.

Anywho, my sister, dad and FI were in cahoots about the actual proposal, and my mom was mad that she was left out of the loop, but such is life. Everyone had been asking us for years about getting married/engaged anyway, so it was no great surprise. We got more than a few comments saying ''finally!''

 

[katomm]

Pretty much everyone I know has an idea it''s coming. No one knows when and he''s not saying a word about when and how. I think his mom knows when and where though.....something she may end up telling my mom soon I hope.

 

[crossmyfingers]

His parents/siblings have been expecting it any minute since we''d been together about six months... and now it''s been almost two years. My parents know it''s coming. My mom said before Valentine''s Day that she figured he would ask then. Six months later, still a naked hand.

In the past month or so, all our friends have been bringing it up nonstop. Most of them are not married or engaged. It''s really getting my hopes up. Most of are friends are surprised he''s not proposed yet. They all tell us to get married already. It''s pretty cute, considering most of the guys say they never want to get married, but that they want us to.

I guess, honestly, my friends seem to assume it will be any day now, while I am the one who doesn''t think so. Isn''t that backward!

 

[boobookitty]

i''m the same as every one else. no one has any idea when it will happen. hell, not even i know. lol. we are in the process of diamond shopping so i am still expecting it to be at least another 6 months unless something miraculous happens. i''ve selected our jeweler though so the ring is going to come from him, i''m just waiting to see if he can find us a larger stone for a good deal. as of right now he has a 2.02 carat round brilliant, D in color, that pretty much has my name on it. but we''re waiting to see if he can get us a 2.45 he was telling me about. but pretty much all my friends and family know we are getting married, we''re just waiting for the engagement. his family, on the other hand, NO IDEA. except his brother. it is best his parents don''t know.

 

[jjc]

My situation is a little backward as well. All of BF's friends know it's coming because BF wanted us to get together for five years before I finally came around, so when we finally did get together there was kind of a universal understanding that it would be for forever, and the only question was when it would happen. All of my friends are so excited for it to happen because they just love BF and how well he treats me. Just today when I told my friend that it probably wouldn't happen until next year she burst out with "NO! I CAN'T WAIT THAT LONG!!"

The wait is purely based on financial reasons, though, so it's just exciting to be in the ring/diamond acquisition phase...although, I am finding that I'm much nosier than I'd thought! I sing "tell me something good!" to him every night

But anytime I want to get any slight LIW anxiety out, I have all my friends to do it for me! I love it

Although he is refusing to tell anyone anything, I'm excited to be surprised!

ETA - BF recently officially told his parents of his plans and they were ecstatic, and I told my parents that BF's parents were ecstatic and that sent my parents over the moon...we think the parents are even more excited than we are!

We are very very blessed

 

[winelover23]

None of my friends know and my parents I don''t think they really think about it. BF''s Mom drops hints to him all the time. She''s very ready to get him married off

Everyone at my work knows and every Monday they are like "what no ring?". They have all been along for the ride of my divorce and rebirth into the dating world and meeting BF and moving in with BF etc. Apparently they all think I''m super fantastic (blush) and that he needs to show the bling!

 

[MermaidKelly]

Haha! No. But I am actually not quite in the ''pending stage'' yet...I''m just hopeful.

 

[Lozza]

Wow, so many responses, how exciting! Thanks everyone!

 

[vc10um]

Haha. People have been asking me since we were about 4 months into our relationship when we were getting engaged! FF and I have taken a couple of trips this year (April to KC, MO to meet his family; June to NYC to celebrate our anniversary) and I get asked multiple times when I get home where the ring is! People have asked, and I''ve speculated with them about when it will happen, but we''re not holding fast to a timeline...at least I''m not, since it''s really not my job to HAVE a timeline...but aside from that, everyone just keeps on asking! So they know we''re talking about it...but nothing beyond that!

 

[Winks_Elf]

Only you ladies and a close girlfriend that lives down south know.

 

[crossmyfingers]

I thought of this thread tonight. I had dinner with BF and his parents, and he said something about how he is good at saving money, and that he has spent a lot on me lately, and his dad said "WHAT?!" and started craning his neck... And then said, "I was looking to see if there is a ring!"

I think what BF meant was that my birthday wasn''t very long ago and he did go a little overboard... But I''m going to hope maybe he means he''s buying a ring. Ha!

 

[vip0802]

at this point, our parents, his brothers, a few of my friends and of course, all you ladies know that we''ve been looking at rings. when we first started telling them about it, everyone was really happy and excited to hear about it. we had been good friends for 5-6 years before we started dating and we''ve officially been together for over 3, so i don''t think anyone was really surprised. no one knows when it''ll actually happen though, and i don''t even think BF knows himself! although, whenever we get asked, BF always says, "it''ll happen" and smiles like he''s up to something. i don''t think the pressure has lessened or increased since then, but we''re definitely more active and conscious about getting things in order before we get married.

i think our parents are the most excited about it though! this past Christmas, he was saying something about my gift to his dad and for whatever reason, his dad took it as he was going to propose that day. after BF cleared it up, i think both his parents were a little disappointed and have been anxious ever since. recently, BF told them that we''re planning on inviting them out to dinner so that both of our parents could finally meet, and his dad was like, "oh yeah?! any other special occasion we should know about?" *nudge nudge*. even my mom was like, "oh that''s so great! is he going to ask your dad for permission?!".

i think it''s so great that our parents are just as excited as we are!

 

[AustenNut]

Um, pretty much nobody knows about any kind of an engagement. But after about 6 months of dating we went to China for three weeks and when we got back more than one person (including my mom) grabbed my left hand looking in vain for a ring. People at work are quite curious as well. My bf, however, has not been timid about making statements in front of my family about how he sees us being long-term. And my best friend knows that he's thinking long term. But nobody knows that I've given him my ring preferences (or that he originally intended to just let me pick out a ring, but now will surprise me now that I've given him very specific preferences).

ETA: But come to think of it my best friend probably has some idea since I've had to find out her schedule for next summer and reserve a weekend (she's a pastor...and the summer books up quickly for her). So she knows that we'll either be vacationing together or that she'll be marrying me. So I guess that might be a pretty big hint that an engagement might come, though she doesn't know anything about the ring yet.

 

[4ever]

Only my best friend knows. She asked if I would like her to help my BF to shop for the ring when the time came.....I had to tell her that while that''s a lovely offer and very much appriciated, he''s already got one.

My family dosn''t know, I''m young so I''m too worried they''d dissaprove.

My BF''s mum asked if he planned to propose, he said yes but I don''t think she knows anything specific about it. He hasn''t told her he has a ring because she''d probably pressure him to hurry up and ask then.

 

[shertz1981]

Friends know -- family, not so much.

 

[lilyfoot]

Nobody knows!

Unfortunately, engagements and marriages are a "touchy" subject with my best friend because she is 5 years into a relationship and is in heavy not-so-patient LIW status.

I don''t think there is really anything for people to "know" until the actual proposal happens. I''m such a private person, espescially when it comes to relationships. What me and my BF talk about for the future, etc. is very sacred to me and I honestly wouldn''t want to share those things with other people.

Oh yeah, but of course his mom (whom I spend a lot of time with), says she "knows" he''s going to propose next year (he didn''t tell her that), and she has told us that we will be together forever, she can "tell". She already calls me her daughter/daughter-in-law, and I call her "Mom".

It''s very comforting to receive unsolicited marriage comments, ya know?