Does Age Matter?

[kaylagee]

FK,

You probably will... people still ask if my mom and I are sisters. She was 25 when she had me, so we''re not unusually close in age or anything. Just those weird elf genes.

I used to hate it, looking young...extra attentive ID checks, being hit on by younger guys etc. my father continuing to buy the child rate movie tickets for me way past the cut-off. grrrr.

I guess it was in the Plan... G-d knew I''d be ''robbing the cradle''. hee. Maybe I would have been too self-conscious to date dh at first otherwise?

***
I don''t have any regrets but I think my MIL was a bit outdone at my age & status. You''d think it''d be the color issue(maybe it would in the US) but the age and divorcee thing got her. I could tell.

My maternal greatgrandmother was older than my ggfather, by only two or three years tho'' and acc''d to family legend, they had the fairy tale marriage.

I don''t know if i could have done the 10+ age gap tho''. Or if I could have dated a younger *American* man. My brother and his cronies seem horribly immature and they''re 4-5 years older than my husband.

 

[AGBF]

Date: 5/13/2005 5:57:04 PM
Author: windy1365
Here we are on April 30th!! How old do we look?

You look like babies. You are beautiful .

Deb

 

[AGBF]

Date: 5/13/2005 6:15:48 PM
Author: ForteKitty
This was taken at Tahoe a few months ago... only pic I have at work right now. I had to cut my friends out or else they would have killed me.

How can you be so beautiful?

Deb

 

[ForteKitty]

Date: 5/13/2005 7:04:28 PM
Author: kaylagee
FK,

You probably will... people still ask if my mom and I are sisters. She was 25 when she had me, so we''re not unusually close in age or anything. Just those weird elf genes.

I used to hate it, looking young...extra attentive ID checks, being hit on by younger guys etc. my father continuing to buy the child rate movie tickets for me way past the cut-off. grrrr.

Haha, I''m milking it for all I can! I''m 5''2, 103lbs, so i''m the same size as most jr. high kids. Mammoth sells "teen" ski lift tickets (12-16yrs, i think), and they usually give those to me when I buy at the counter! The first time it happend was 5 years ago. I was so confused because my ticket was soo much cheaper than my friend''s, and I hesitated for a moment. The guy must have thought it was my first time using a credit card or something, because he said, "it''s okay, your parents don''t have to be around for you to use their CC."

Ever since then, I just go up and say, "one please!" and I get a teen ticket! Awesome!!

 

[icelady]

Date: 5/13/2005 2:26:19 PM
Author: Catmom
I can''t speak to age differences in my own marriage as my husband is only 2 years older than me. I can speak however, from the perspective of a child with parents that had a large age difference. My father was 19 years older than my mother. When they married my father was 40 and my mother just 21. My father was 49, 2 months shy of 50 when I was born. My childhood memories of my father were not that great. He was way past having the desire or energy to keep up with a child [I was the youngest]. I can''t honestly remember a time where we played together at anything. I do remember him sitting on the sofa most of the time, either watching TV or just sleeping. I grew up wishing I had the kind of Dad that was involved in my life, but sadly it just wasn''t so. Now I do know that people are all different and many people in their 50s and 60s are very lively and active, I just didn''t have one of those active fathers. I always had it in the back of my mind that I would either marry someone younger or the same age as myself. I never wanted a child of mine to have the same experience I had. Just a different perspective of age differences.

Catmom, I am sorry your memories of your ''older'' Dad are not very good. I dare say, though that you could have had a younger Dad that was not active nor participative in your life as well. I had many friends with Dads the same ages as their Moms who had the same complaint!

Bikergirl! You and I have a lot in common. My husband is 17 years older than I, and I have at times had a tough time keeping up with him! He has always taken good care of himself and been very active. It doesn''t hurt that he inherited good genes and looks about 15 years younger than he is!!

We have a 14 year old daughter, and he plays tennis and rides bikes with her, and even shoots hoops with her regularly!

So, I would say age matters far less to me, what is more important is chemistry and compatability.

 

[kaylagee]

Date: 5/13/2005 7:14:38 PM
Author: ForteKitty

Haha, I'm milking it for all I can! I'm 5'2, 103lbs, so i'm the same size as most jr. high kids. Mammoth sells 'teen' ski lift tickets (12-16yrs, i think), and they usually give those to me when I buy at the counter! The first time it happend was 5 years ago. I was so confused because my ticket was soo much cheaper than my friend's, and I hesitated for a moment. The guy must have thought it was my first time using a credit card or something, because he said, 'it's okay, your parents don't have to be around for you to use their CC.'

Ever since then, I just go up and say, 'one please!' and I get a teen ticket! Awesome!!

LOL!

FK, u

.

I wish I'd appreciated it more, but I always wanted to be older and more womanly or whatever. Always something else. I totally had a chip on my shoulder/napoleonette complex.

 

[valeria101]

Date: 5/13/2005 7:14:38 PM
Author: ForteKitty

Date: 5/13/2005 7:04:28 PM
Author: kaylagee

I used to hate it, looking young...extra attentive ID checks, being hit on by younger guys etc.

Haha, I''m milking it for all I can! I''m 5''2, 103lbs, so i''m the same size as most jr. high kids.

Ok... same here !

I am organizing my 10 year high school reunion this year, and random people still ask "how is the bac going" ("bac" = high school graduation exam). It is not so funny when I must act professional & authoritative and have to ignore the occasional patronizing stare

 

[jaysonsmom]

Date: 5/13/2005 7:27:49 PM
Author: kaylagee



LOL!

FK, u

.

I wish I''d appreciated it more, but I always wanted to be older and more womanly or whatever. Always something else. I totally had a chip on my shoulder/napoleonette complex.

I want to see your picture Kaylagee! If you look anything like your avatar, you''re definitely a cute young thing.

 

[Dancing Fire]

my wife said, i''m 19 months older but,i think she''s lying about her age.

 

[kaylagee]

Date: 5/13/2005 7:40:19 PM
Author: jaysonsmom

Date: 5/13/2005 7:27:49 PM

Author: kaylagee

LOL!

FK, u

.

I wish I'd appreciated it more, but I always wanted to be older and more womanly or whatever. Always something else. I totally had a chip on my shoulder/napoleonette complex.

I want to see your picture Kaylagee! If you look anything like your avatar, you're definitely a cute young thing.

OMG, I *wish* I looked like my av(she's Shen Shen from the ElfQuest comics). These days I'm a hideous, moonfaced, tired pregnant thing and waaay too chicken to post a current pic. LOL! sigh. The best I can do is a blurry pre-preg.

 

[kaylagee]

wedding pic..laughing as i ''cradle rob.'' I think that''s got to go into the Irritating Expressions thread.

 

[Kaleigh]

Kaylagee,
You are much prettier than your avatar!! Love the wedding pic, too cute!!!

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 5/13/2005 6:15:48 PM
Author: ForteKitty
This was taken at Tahoe a few months ago... only pic I have at work right now. I had to cut my friends out or else they would have killed me.

FK
are you old enough to drive?

 

[tawn]

I''m almost (but not quite!) 4 years older than my husband! He actually lied about his age when we met because I was almost 23, and it was just before he turned 20! He loved dating an "older woman". He was the last of 4 rowdy children and his parents had given up control and let him run free at an early age....so he had some life experience and had lived abroad. Amazingly enough...he''s the ony really success of the kids!

I''m happy to say that we''re both as equally immature as we were 14 years ago when we met...and I suppose that''s why everyone is surprised when they find out we have an 11 year old son! I don''t think anyone ever thinks we''re not around the same age...or they''re too polite to say anything!

 

[hoorray]

I should respond to this one... We have a 17 year gap in our marriage. But, IMO, age is not what defines a soul mate. Age can make things convenient (going though similar life moments at close to the same time), and many people are on the same age "level", so that works out great, but I don''t think age is part of what makes someone a soul mate. True age and maturity depends on the people. DH is 17 years older than I am in years, but I''m the "older" of the 2 of us. He''s a kid at heart, and relatively speaking, I''m less so, so we tend to average. I was 27 when we married, and he was 44. (I think that adds up to 17

). I resisted dating him for a while since he was "wrong for me" by normal definition, but we clicked the first time we met and have never looked back once we got used to the stigma of the age difference. We are both very active, and I assume that my being younger helps to keep him active, although he has always been that way. Over the years, I have benefited in many ways by his experience and knowledge on things I didn''t know anything about, so it''s been a great combination.

As we are starting to get older, we go through different things, but they are not what defines our marriage. Age plays an interesting dynamic in our lifes, but not out marriage. We support each other through whatever the other is going through, and are better partners now than we have ever been.

 

[mingagreen]

Well I am 28 and DH is 35. After dating guys my age or a year or 2 older (never dated anyone younger) I was not sure what I wanted, Maybe to be single for awhile. i was done playing games!! I had been severely cheated on and then dated a few losers then dated a guy who was in a popular local band just for the fun of it!! That got to be too much and just when I wasn''t looking , up popped my DH!!! We had an immediate connection. I knew who he was and always thought he was way out of my league!! All the girls liked him and I didn''t think I had a chance so I wasn''t giddy and wierd around him! We moved in together after dating for 2 months and it has been great since (almost 7 years) we are like best friends, we are on some kind of equal level. He is a goofball and so am I! He is also well educated and experienced in life, which I''m not!! But we are able to share woderful experiences, he has an awesome family, which we all live together kind of, it is like a commune! We all share about 150 acres. FILstep MIL, another step MIL, SIL and nephew, and one of my best friends all are neighbors. It is great!!!
Sorry if this TMI, it''s fun though!! We never discuss our age difference, I know some of his friends were alittle shocked when we started dating, ( they were high fiving) I was 22, he was robbing the craddle!

 

[Diachi]

Date: 5/13/2005 5:39:57 PM
Author: windy1365
A lot of women went to the tanning salon when they were younger. I don''t see that many men in the tanning booths. That might explain a lot of the aging issue.

I am only 27... I have been going to tanning beds since I was 17. I never would listen to my parents and other adults that it would make me look old. I can definetly see the effects of it now... it started when I was 24...My skin just started looking older. My husband is 29, and his skin is just beautiful.

Ekk! Me too! What can we do? I told my bf that I wanted a laser or chemical peel for my 26 birthday w/fat injections to my already-there laugh lines!

And on topic, I don''t think I have ever found age to be the issue-just maturity and personality! I have dated from 5 years older (the most immature

) to two years younger and have settled down with my perfect, mature but someone to grow with match who happens to be one month (and 10 days) younger than me

 

[icelady]

Date: 5/13/2005 8:27:06 PM
Author: kaylagee


OMG, I *wish* I looked like my av(she''s Shen Shen from the ElfQuest comics). These days I''m a hideous, moonfaced, tired pregnant thing and waaay too chicken to post a current pic. LOL! sigh. The best I can do is a blurry pre-preg.

OMG Kaylagee! You are gorgeous girl!!!! You look like a model!

Your wedding pic is beautiful, bouquet is pretty too!

 

[ForteKitty]

Date: 5/13/2005 7:39:20 PM
Author: valeria101


I am organizing my 10 year high school reunion this year, and random people still ask ''how is the bac going'' (''bac'' = high school graduation exam). It is not so funny when I must act professional & authoritative and have to ignore the occasional patronizing stare

That part is really annoying. I went on an interview last year, and the guy said, "oh, you''re just a baby!" and asked if I lied on my resume! Then he said I''m probably not fit for the job because people might not feel comfortable working under someone who looks young enough to be their kid. I nearly threw my pen at him!

 

[baltneu]

1st marriage: 7 years difference in age.

Engaged: we are both 54

the only trouble with marriages with a huge age gap is that sometimes one of the partners looks like the others parent. We had a friend who married a man 20 yrs older, he not only looked like her father, but he was so old looking and did not get around well at all, he looked like her Grandfather!

 

[kaylagee]

Kaleigh & Icelady, thanks so much for the compliments!

I recently cut my hair super-short(sort of a wannabe Nia Long, Halle, vintage Mia Farrow-esque pixie cut) and for the first time, I thought that I''d start looking older than dh. ...The whole stereotype of the wife with the horrible short hair n all. The weight gain isn''t helping either. He says he likes it(the hair). shrug.

I''m going to have to get into shape asap after the baby''s born if I keep this cut. I can''t hide behind my hair anymore!

***re: age difference

I think I''ll feel better for a while when he turns thirty. LOL! At least for like 2 years we''ll both be in the same decade!

I forget about the gap until we have to fill out forms or show passports etc. Then I sort of wonder if the clerk etc. is thinking about it.

Another funny thing is that I''m closer in age to his brothers(I''ll be 35 in Nov.) and one is a bit of a suave, charming type and dh(shy bookish sort) seems to get a kick out of the fact that I''m technically in their peer group. They did seem bewildered when he introduced me. The oldest brother who''s my age has turned out to be super nice but the other is still weird sometimes! I was sort of nervous about interacting w/them at first.

The middle, Mr. Charmant(the weird one), actually hit on my aunt(she''s in her mid 40s and was not interested) at our wedding! I didn''t find out about it until last year. I''m still shocked.

 

[valeria101]

Date: 5/14/2005 6:41:56 PM
Author: ForteKitty

Date: 5/13/2005 7:39:20 PM
Author: valeria101

It is not so funny when I must act professional & authoritative and have to ignore the occasional patronizing stare

That part is really annoying. I went on an interview last year, and the guy said, ''oh, you''re just a baby!

Yeah... It really is hard to handle that distorted image. Working remotely goes on allot smoother for me. Between Pricescope and "office" (= chatroom that brings a couple of co-workers on three continents together every day) there''s a click away and I feel blessed to be able to do that.

 

[jaysonsmom]

Date: 5/13/2005 8:27:06 PM
Author: kaylagee


OMG, I *wish* I looked like my av(she''s Shen Shen from the ElfQuest comics). These days I''m a hideous, moonfaced, tired pregnant thing and waaay too chicken to post a current pic. LOL! sigh. The best I can do is a blurry pre-preg.

Kaylagee: WOW, I couldn''t get on a computer all weekend.......You are very very pretty, and you''re right about looking young for your age. I can''t believe you''re a day past 26 judging from this pre-preggo picture!

 

[jellybean]

My husband is 1 year older than me. I feel most compatable (in relationships) with men my own or close to my age.

My sister and her husband are 13 years apart. Her husband looks young, but my sister looks even younger -- he was mistaken for her father once!

I have been told I look really young for my age. My mom looks really young too -- thanks mom! I was at work last week and I had a patient ask me if I had just graduated pharmacy school. I said no and that I am probably older than she thought. She said "you can''t be a day over 23". She totally made my night as I am almost 10 years older than that!

 

[kaylagee]

Date: 5/16/2005 11:35:03 AM
Author: jaysonsmom

Kaylagee: WOW, I couldn''t get on a computer all weekend.......You are very very pretty, and you''re right about looking young for your age. I can''t believe you''re a day past 26 judging from this pre-preggo picture!

Thanks so much for the compliment!!

***
I''m laughing at the comment about the couples looking like mother and son. Not much chance of that with dh(we look nothing alike). LOL!

I''m also remembering briefly dating an older man(by 15 years?. I was about 22 then) and the one thing I hated about the situation was this weird reaction from some people... as if I was some sort of gold digging hoochie. Not cool at all.

 

[Garry H (Cut Nut)]

For a male perspective.
Drena and I knew each other thru work +20 years ago and we always got on very well.
When my Ex left, we got together and married 5 years ago.

I was late 40''s and Drena is 10 years older.
We are very happy; most people who know us can not get over how happy. She puts up with me working very long hours, but we both lead very active lives.

 

[sjz]

Gary...you and your wife are both VERY attractive people and you look really good together...and HAPPY! Good for you!

 

[kaylagee]

Yes, what a wonderful photo! You both look so happy and, well... radiant!

***
Would either of you have hesitated (dating/marriage) in your twenties? Did being in your 40s & 50s make a difference?

Date: 5/18/2005 4:13:56 AM
Author: Garry H (Cut Nut)
For a male perspective.

Drena and I knew each other thru work +20 years ago and we always got on very well.

When my Ex left, we got together and married 5 years ago.


I was late 40''s and Drena is 10 years older.

We are very happy; most people who know us can not get over how happy. She puts up with me working very long hours, but we both lead very active lives.

 

[Garry H (Cut Nut)]

Obviously this can work later in life - but if I was 18 and Drena 28 - welllllll???

think about it - a 100 year old and a 90 year old - not much difference in age at all.

And yes - we are both happy positive people (even though I can come across as a bit blunt and grumpy with my 1 finger typing).