does your E-ring match your occupation/lifestyle?

[Dreamer_D]

If I go based on norms, my ring does not fit at all. It is much too large.

I get that women are judged for all sorts of things in ways that men are not. But we cannot escape it. We are a stigmatized group, much as we have made inroads. The research is very clear on this. But trying to meet the dominant majority's standards of behavior has never served stigmatized groups of any persuasion. And I don't think it serves women either.

The fact that so many women seen to devote so much evergy to this issue reminds me of the concept of stereotype threat. If you are a member of a group about which there is a negative stereotype in a particular domain, then being reminded of one's group membership when attempting to perform in said domain severly undermines one's performance. It happens for women in math, blacks on the SATs, white men on athletic activities said to favour natural abilities... and on and on. The underperformance occurrs because one is so afraid of confirming the negative stereotype (e.g., women are bad at math) that the anxiety messes up performance. If women waste too much time worrying about confirming negative stereotypes, they will underperform, pure and simple. I think worrying about one's engagement ring (clothing, breast size etc etc etc) is just one of those things that can cause us to underperform. The solution? How about removing the e-ring, getting a breast reduction, wearing a muu muu? Won't help. We will be judged for something else, because we cannot erase our group membership. Instead, every time you find yourself worrying about this crap, substitue an image of a white bear Works to overcome stereotype threat on math tests for women. And would likely work at a faculty meeting too.

Then go out and kick butt at your job and be a role model for change. It will take a few generations, but it ain't gonna happen by us trying to fit in with men's ideals and norms and standards.

 

[violet3]

I have many lifestyles, so sometimes yes and sometimes no I have an eternity band for an ering, so I don't really have much to compare myself to in the ering department. During my day jobs, I enjoy wearing my ring and i think it fits me perfectly -- it's sparkly and beautiful, but not over the top. I do work part time at night in a restaurant, and there it REALLY doesn't fit my lifestyle. Not because I don't want to wear it, but because it would get damaged, so I usually just wear a plain band.

 

[that_someone_special]

I would say mine don't fit. But, I don't give a poo anymore. Really! I don't. I WILL being wearing my 3.18 stone with my 1.75 5 stone and I know a lot of people won't like it. That's ok! I like it.

 

[tigian]

I don't think my ring fits my occupation, but I don't really care. I probably wear too much jewelry for work, but again, it makes me happy, so I don't really care.

 

[SapphireLover]

I am a nurse in the UK and dont wear my ring to work. Due to infection control you can't wear any rings with stones in! So it stays in my bedside drawer for five days out of seven. I have worn it on non-clinical days and don't care. Most people (and my friends) have about 0.25ct and mine is 1ct. My ring is small by my Jewish friends' sizes (I am Jewish too), who have 1.5-2ct stones.

 

[shihtzulover]

I would say that my engagement ring matches my personality and my newly found love for diamonds, but it definitely does not match my region, career field, or how people perceive my lifestyle to be. I don't really tell people how much money my fiance makes, and he has had other expenses, so has only recently been able to save enough money to start making more extravagant purchases. My engagement ring is actually the first really large thing that he has ever bought, so we still have older cars, and he is still renting a home in a fairly average neighborhood. Also, larger diamond are rare around here in general. Many of my friends received engagement rings from mall stores, and I'm not sure that anyone really knows about the different cut grades, clarities, and colors - I have only heard people talk about carat weight, and even then, they usually just talk about the total carat weight of their entire wedding set.

I am proud of my ring, and I think that it's absolutely gorgeous. Honestly, the only times that I really care about being judged for it are when I am going for job interviews or the like - and then, I just don't wear it. Other than that though, I'm happy and proud to wear it around.

 

[Autumnovember]

Currently, I'm in nursing school....so my e-ring does not match my 'occupation' as a student, haha.

I wear it proudly. I won't be wearing it at work when I do start though only because of having gloves on for most of the day....

Also doesn't fit my lifestyle....I'm a very plain dresser besides when I go out at night....

 

[HollyS]

I have no idea, and I've never cared to really think about it too hard.

Perhaps my ring most matches my lifestyle during the summer when I am a lady of leisure, free to lunch with whomever I please, whenever I please.

I wear my ring to work every day, and I always have. It never occurred to me that I would be judged by anything other than my performance and behavior at work. I certainly don't judge others based on what they wear, jewelry and otherwise. It's a good thing, too, because people wear strange clothes to my job.

This, in the bold. My thoughts exactly.

 

[marymm]

... What if my lifestyle is so finely tailored to my own personal desires that it is filled with contradiction? ...

just have to say - brilliant observation/interrogatory, and so beautifully written - it resonates with me - I could wear the t-shirt

(ps - I have a couple different ER rings and I wear what I feel like each day... selected based on outfit and activities for the day and to some extent on peripheral issues like "does it fit in?")

 

[bee*]

My ring is considered to be quite large over here and would be larger than my friends and colleagues but it suits me and I wear it daily. I've never felt self conscious about it although quite a few of our clients have commented on it. I adore it so I'm not going to leave it at home every day.

 

[qtiekiki]

My e-ring fits my lifestyle. Most of the people we know have center stones in the 1-2ct range, and mine is 1.25ct.

It does not fit my occupation because I am an environmental inspector, and sometimes have to open manhole covers or metal plate covers. I do not want to take the chance of losing my e-ring into the sewer or hitting it with the covers. So I only wear my ring on days where I stay in the office.

 

[february2003bride]

My e-ring center diamond size is slightly lower than average in size compared to my neighbors.

My wedding set as a whole goes fit my lifestyle. SAHM of 3, substitute teacher starting next school year, and my wedding set is a D. Vatche trellis solitaire with matching plain band.

 

[vanderaf]

I don't wear my ring all of the time but if I am not wearing it I usually wear a band in it's place. I have a 3 stone ring with sapphire sides and somehow I had abrasions on the sapphires from wearing the ring all the time. I had the ring restored last spring. The stones were removed and repolished so now I really baby my ring and I don't wear it when I know I will be really hands on. I have many bands to keep me happy when I am without it

 

[Jessie702]

I actually dont think mine matches my lifestyle, but i dont care, i love it, and will always wear it. PLUS, my ering will also be my wedding band, since no bands look good with my ering

 

[jstarfireb]

For me, it does and it doesn't.

It doesn't match the norm...most female doctors have rings much bigger than mine. I have a 1ct princess. I'd say the average in my profession is at least 1.5ct, maybe higher. Personally I couldn't see myself wearing anything larger than 1.5ct.

It does match the lifestyle. I wanted a stone that was set low on the hand and a setting that was sturdy enough to be banged around a bit, since I work with my hands constantly.

 

[Bella_mezzo]

What if my lifestyle is so finely tailored to my own personal desires that it is filled with contradiction? Does my ering then fit in by virtue of it not fitting in at all?"

Haven, you took the words right out of my mouth

I have a gorgeous, but fairly modest ring by PS standards, lovingly designed by my DH (1 ct radiant cut sapphire with a small trapezoid diamond (I think .12ct) on each side in a simple 2mm white gold basket setting also designed by my DH).

My ring is huge in the rural community where I grew up and much bigger than my mom's (.25 OEC/transitional that my Dad inherited from his mom), but much less blingy than my SIL (1 ct ideal round brilliant in a half eternity setting with a matching half eternity band)...

I live and work in NYC and am in a top-tier business school. My colleagues and classmates wear everything from 3ct sparklers in delicate HW halos, to 5 ct eternity bands, to simple gold bands, to nothing....most of my classmates wear really well cut 1.5-2.5 ct diamonds in blingy settings with an eternity band.

I am not defined by my ring, and my personality and lifestyle are so full of contradictions (rural girl who loves the city, who goes in and out of the worlds of Wall Street, the Upper East Side, Harlem, and Washington Heights with regularity, who is aggressively pursuing a career but can't wait to be a mom, who is a creative musician and a hard nosed executive, who loves diamonds and jewelry but believes social justice and sustainable change begin with where I spend my money...)

What the h*ll kind of e-ring would match my occupation/lifestyle

I have no idea!

I love my ring, I love that my DH designed it with so much attention and love, I love that it is a pretty blue sapphire but also has a little sparkle...but, I could also happily rock a 3 ct OEC or OMC or a big round brilliant Tiffany bezet or a honkin eternity band...

I wear what I want to wear and try not to judge (or drool to much over) what my colleagues and classmates wear!

 

[Ara Ann]

My current e-ring fits my lifestyle...it's an antique filigree ring with an OMC. I always wanted an antique ring and it took me many years and several different rings to get it right. I love all kinds of antiques, it makes sense that my e-ring would be an antique as well.

My diamond size is right in the middle of my family and friends, some are smaller, some larger. But no one has a vintage diamond...my ring is unique and so am I, it fits me perfectly.

I work from home, so yeah, it's appropriate for my work environment too!

 

[16ocean]

GraceaAva . . . . .
Oh! Your post made me a bit sad. Don’t be ashamed about what you were given. Your ring was purchased with loving thoughts behind it and that is all that matters.
It may be a bit of the “little green monster” if people say disparaging things about you and your honey’s choice.

 

[Gypsy]

*edit*

 

[maplefemme]

I'm in the same career as some of the other posters; nursing, so I can't wear my ring to work. But I'd wear it any other time it wasn't at risk of being damaged, or stolen, I won't take my ring traveling for e.g.

 

[purselover]

As an unemployed grad student yep my .38ct solitaire "looks the part". However as the wife of a big law lawyer probably not so much. While I do think erings are meant to be worn there are always exceptions, when I get my upgrade I probably won't wear it that often to the job I'll hopefully have (as an elementary school teacher) because it will cost more than the majority of my student's family incomes- so I think wearing an expensive ring could be very alienating and distasteful.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

all these talk about not wearing your E-ring to work or to school is so ridiculous,if i were your bf/husband i'd get a refund or sell it jewlery are meant to be worn ...i don't see any difference then your co-workers carrying a $3k handbag or driving a $100k car.

I will not wear my e-ring daily starting in August. I don't think it is ridiculous but a choice I made based on the fact that many of my clients will be court mandated and my ring would be a distraction. I think being judged for deciding not to wear something is ridiculous. Luckily my DH doesn't feel the same as you.

 

[isaku5]

I've reached a great point in life where I don't give a rat's behind what others think. If DH and I are okay with my jewellery, then that's all that matters.

Since I'm retired now, there would be no envious co-workers anyway.

 

[platinumrock]

I'm a high school Science teacher, and my three-stone ring is 4.61 ctw. I wear it proudly everyday, and I even get compliments from my students. In fact, wearing a diamond is related to Science because it's a type of rock, it tells a story about how old Earth is and it's one of the oldest forms of Carbon.

Besides, someone will have to saw my ring off my cold, dead fingers if they ever think about snatching if off my hand.

Plus I have long, large fingers so it doesn't look as flashy.

 

[rosetta]

My one carat cushion fits everything perfectly well.

The 3.5 ctw 3 stone is not appropriate for work, so I don't wear it there

I like the 2 ring system, both rings get enough wear and I like having the luxury of choosing!

 

[Mayk]

I love my ring..but there are times when I want to turn my stone down to my palm or I take it off and leave it at home. When you are in sales it's not always a good thing to be blinging! But I live in a lovely community and my 1.3 w/halo looks like a chip so I am good at home... Never feel like the kid with the coolest bike...

It is my second marriage and my first ring was a 5 stone 1 ct so I personally feel like I received the rock of Gibraltar and I have become a character from the Lord of the Rings... Cleaning PRECIOUS! Scary!

 

[Phoenix]

I've reached a great point in life where I don't give a rat's behind what others think. If DH and I are okay with my jewellery, then that's all that matters.

Since I'm retired now, there would be no envious co-workers anyway.

I LURVE this answer!

I wish I could give the same answer for myself but I can't! My answer is also a bit more complicated. When I'm at work, I find that anything larger or more than a 1ct ering and/ or an eternity band and smaller studs solicit numerous comments (both good and bad) from various people! . When I'm not working, I wear pretty much whatever I like and there are the rare occasions where the more bling the better; however these days most of the time, I only choose to wear either my pendant, studs and e-ring (of which I have three alternates) and no RHR, or sometimes just my studs and e-ring/ or bracelet. I'd say the latter is more representative of who I am and what I do day-to-day, and it suits my present mood better too.

 

[Madam Bijoux]

I have to say "no" because I've never been married but love to wear engagement rings. I have at least one of every shape except the Princess, and I wear at least one on each hand every day. I never cared what anyone thought about it.

 

[Amys Bling]

yea! Why not. I feel like the rings of teachers vary greatly. I have coworkers with small simple rings, and others with nice big intricate honking rings. At times I dont feel my ring matches some of the neighborhoods I travel in- and before I get slammed for saying that- it's not that I feel I will be robbed- it's more of a - these families are struggling to feed their kids and walking in with a blingy wedding set doesnt feel "right".

 

[Tacori E-ring]

it's not that I feel I will be robbed- it's more of a - these families are struggling to feed their kids and walking in with a blingy wedding set doesnt feel "right".

I completely agree.