Don''t want to jump the gun, so i''m going go post this here

[purelily]

ETA: this is jumping the gun by even posting this I know

We are getting engaged soon. Probably this weekend or next weekend (he wants to keep me guessing). But it is definitely within the next 14 days. So, because I am a bit of a perfectionist and I want to know whats out there, I have already decided to look into venues etc.

1) My mother wants us to get married in Hawaii (we are originally from Hawaii), but I am thinking of Disneyland. What are your thoughts, ladies?

2) I bought a dress *gasp* from a past engagement which I've *never* *ever* seen in person or tried on. My ex hadn't seen it either. I'm still in love with the dress and its paid for and being stored by the lady at the dress shop. Would you still use it?

3) I really would like a small wedding, but I have a huge family. So, small means eliminating all my friends and just inviting family. But my family doesn't like each other.


What would you do?

 

[*Danielle*]

For your first questions, get married where ever you want! And to add on for your last, invite the people that will add to your day, not distract with drama.

As for the dress. If he does not see a problem with it, go for it. My and SO where engaged before and I still have the dress. I personally would not use it for another person, but if you and he have no qualms there is no reason to waste money!

 

[HopeDream]

Hi Purelilly, it sounds like interesting times!

1+3) If your family doesn''t like each other, Disneyland is better because there will be plenty to do, and they can split off into little groups have fun.
Maybe you could invite your friends too because it''s likely that not everyone will be able to make it to a destination wedding (I assume you live out of California?)

2) Your dream dress is your dream dress (and it''s paid for!). If it makes you feel happy and beautiful then you should wear it.

I''m excited that your engagement is happening so soon !

Cheers,
HD

 

[4ever]

Use the dress if he''s ok that you do. If you love it that much having to go with a differnt dress would probably just be such a let down.

If your paying for it get married where ever will make you happyest. You only really have to do what your mum wants if she''s footing the bill IMO.

Well, who do you WANT there? It''s your wedding day, surely your family can put their issues asside and behave for one day?

And finaly, yay for you!

Don''t forget about our need to live vicariously through your engagment story and ring pics when it happens!

 

[purelily]

Thank you for your insight!
Danielle Since my parents are paying for the wedding it is dependent on them. I''m not complaining. I just thought it might be a bit cheaper for them to have it in a place other than Hawaii.

For the people...again, I want to cut it down because of costs, but since the guest list is mainly my Grandmother''s I think its going to cause more drama

For the dress, I''ve never worn/seen it before. I ordered it in Hawaii once upon a time then left. Leaving the dress to fend for itself. Hehe. I dont even know if it looks good on me!

HopeDream I agree I think Disneyland (being the happiest place on earth) could provide some distraction. We do not live in CA but my dad''s family is there so... not so destination? All of my friends have to come in from various countries so ANYTHING would be destination for them Thank you for your thoughts! I"m so excited too

4ever My SO is the most laid back guy ever. He''s like meh... you''ve never seen it? who cares? as for the engagement, Of course! When he proposes, I will jump on and give everyone all of the details

Thanks again everyone! I feel better venting a bit.

*sigh* my SO and I did a preliminary guest list (with my mom''s insight) and we have 150 guests!! so much for going under 100

 

[Nomsdeplume]

Wear the dress you love, and pick the location you love! It is your day after all.
And maybe you can have a small ceremony with just family and invite everyone else to the reception?

 

[Luckyeshe]

Date: 9/9/2009 8:13:31 AM
Author: kribbie
And maybe you can have a small ceremony with just family and invite everyone else to the reception?

I planned something like kribbie said!! I was thinking of a small ceremony and then a reception of my mom''s choosing...of course that didn''t fly! But it could work for you, if you just want to have a small intimate ceremony and then honeymoon/reception in Hawaii! So in the long run, your family is happy and you''re happy! Now about the dress, can you have pictures taken for you so you know what it looks like? Remember that boutique we went to on my visit, that place had awesome stuff...good thing the one I liked wasn''t on sale!

I can''t wait to see pictures of the ring and hear about the proposal story!!!!

 

[purelily]

Hi Kribbie Thank you for the suggestion! I will pass that by my mom

luckyeshe I''m in *love* with that store. After we went in I thought why the heck did I purchase a dress already? *sigh* Here is the link to the one I bought. Oh, and Thanks for coming with me into that store! I''ve been drooling over their dresses for a VERY long time http://www.demetriosbride.com/us/index.php?page=collection_princess&styleID=830

 

[Luckyeshe]

So, are you engaged yet?!

 

[Luckyeshe]

And I didn't mind that you took me to that boutique!! It definitely had some very very pretty stuff!!

 

[purelily]

Not yet

~ my ring arrives on Friday I think

D won''t tell me anything about it *grumble* But hopefully it''ll happen this weekend and he wont sit on it just to keep me in the dark

 

[kittybean]

I hope your engagement happens this weekend! Even if it doesn''t, enjoy these last days as his girlfriend. Make sure they are filled with love, not engagement anxiety (I know this is hard, but it is what I wish I had done as an overly anxious LIW). As for your questions:

1) Get married wherever you''d like. Maybe think about how you''ll feel in 20 years--will you regret not having the wedding in Hawaii if you do Disneyland? Or vice versa? What will make both of you happiest? Talk it over with your soon-to-be-FI.

2) I''d use the dress. If it doesn''t have too much of a connection for you with your past relationship, why not? I''d only consider a new dress if your future FI were really against the thought of you wearing this one.

3) If the economy remains in its current state, you might end up with your small wedding even if you do invite 150 people, especially if they have to travel. I invited over 300 people to my wedding this summer--the majority of whom had to travel--and ended up having a little over 180 come. Even people who are gung-ho now about attending may end up with work or family commitments that prevent them from coming. While I wouldn''t plan for a 60% return on your invites (I planned for an 85% return, just so there were no financial surprises), realize that you may end up with just that.

 

[purelily]

Hi Kittybean!

For question 1) I''m not sure... but we are NOT beach people. In fact the both of us dislike sand immensely. I don''t like the way it feels on my feet and that I can''t get it out of my toes for the longest time I know you must be thinking how the heck is she from Hawaii? I want the wedding to be about us and to be a celebration of our sort of quirky personalities. So, disneyland felt right because it would be a bit less formal (which I am totally opposed to)

On the other hand, we could have a quirky wedding in Hawaii I dont know...

2) thank you for the advice on the dress. My FI doesn''t care
3) I was thinking that too... Everyone has to travel to get to my wedding either way because our friends are spread out all over the country. We are excited to get everyone together, but 150 seems unmanageable?

 

[tyty333]

Date: 9/8/2009 7:51:37 PM
Author:purelily
ETA: this is jumping the gun by even posting this I know

We are getting engaged soon. Probably this weekend or next weekend (he wants to keep me guessing). But it is definitely within the next 14 days. So, because I am a bit of a perfectionist and I want to know whats out there, I have already decided to look into venues etc.

1) My mother wants us to get married in Hawaii (we are originally from Hawaii), but I am thinking of Disneyland. What are your thoughts, ladies?

2) I bought a dress *gasp* from a past engagement which I''ve *never* *ever* seen in person or tried on. My ex hadn''t seen it either. I''m still in love with the dress and its paid for and being stored by the lady at the dress shop. Would you still use it?

3) I really would like a small wedding, but I have a huge family. So, small means eliminating all my friends and just inviting family. But my family doesn''t like each other.


What would you do?

I would eliminate your family and invite all your friends!

 

[musey]

Date: 9/9/2009 12:02:08 AM
Author: HopeDream

1+3) If your family doesn't like each other, Disneyland is better because there will be plenty to do, and they can split off into little groups have fun.

I actually disagree on this one, unless Disneyland is particularly special to you and/or your family, Hawaii is a better bet as far as people being able to truly split off from one another. Disneyland is not all that big a place...

I wouldn't assume that any given place will automatically be cheaper than Hawaii - especially Disney. Look into it before you form an opinion on that front. Hawaii weddings can be very reasonable, and from my limited knowledge of Disney weddings, they are generally not. Their packages get really pricey really quickly.

That said, you should go with whatever location your heart sings for. In my mind, Disneyland and Hawaii are not very comparable types of places... and coming from Hawaii, you know that while the beaches are their bread and butter, there's a lot more to be found there. When we go to Hawaii, we probably spend less than 1/4 of the trip anywhere near a beach.

As far as having an informal setting, I have to wonder how Disney entered the equation? I tend to equate Disney with princessy formal weddings... not that that's a rule, just the typical choice. Whereas I equate Hawaii with super-informal laid-back outdoor weddings... again, not a rule, just the typical choice.


If what you truly want is something informal, why not look into a venue that truly exudes that feeling... like a ranch, or a loft, or a park. Something that doesn't tend to be on the list of princessy brides

 

[musey]

Date: 9/9/2009 2:13:01 AM
Author: purelily
my SO and I did a preliminary guest list (with my mom''s insight) and we have 150 guests!! so much for going under 100

You never know. If everyone is spread out like you mentioned, you may well have an under-100 turnout. We had our wedding in SoCal with a 90% oot guest list, 110-ish invited (original list mock-up was 140) if I''m remembering correctly. We had about 65 in attendance.