DRAMAS! Postponing our wedding

[Deelight]

No reason to be ashamed your disappointed and rightfully so it isn''t anyone''s fault but it doesn''t mean you can be sad.

If you did postpone it would you still need to wait until September next year could you go earlier in the year like March, April, May, June which is still lovely weather around me in QLD but I have no idea what it is like up north - that might be an option?


Something can be worked out yet, that makes you all happy for sure .

 

[Sparkalicious]

Oh Honey! I''m so sorry, love!

Please don''t feel bad for being upset ... You are fully entitled to wallow a little. If you can''t now, when would there ever be an appropriate scenario. You might have to change your wedding date - that''s a huge disappointment. Of course you are going to feel upset.

I''m sorry that I don''t have any words of wisdom. I do, however, know that everything happens for a reason and that your wedding day, whenever it proves to be, will be glorious and this sadness you are feeling now, will be a distant memory.

Hugs!

 

[honey22]

Thankyou so much girls! What would I do without my PSer buddies?!

Well, I am going to sound like such a vain shallow so and so, but I called my lovely hair and makeup artist and had a chat to her about the heat and the humidity. One of my concerns (well my main concern actually) is that I will be so hot and sweaty that my hair will be a frizzy mess and my makeup would slide off my face. I can''t believe I am even saying that

Anyhoo, she said that obviously ringlets are not going to work, but she can work with me to come up with a hairstyle that will withstand the humidity.

As the chapel (ceremony and reception) is airconditioned, that won''t be a problem, but the 2-3 hours of pics in the heat was concerning me. She said she would do my makeup just before the photog needs me ready, then pop back half way through the photo shoot to touch up hair and makeup, and then fix me up before the reception. What an incredible woman!!! I am so thrilled with this, she will be the one to take my veil out this means, so any problems with that, she can fix on the spot. And my makeup will look fresh all through the day.

I am feeling a whole lot better now! We are still calling vendors to confirm, but we have decided to go with late November. We don''t want to have to wait until next year! We just wanna be married!!!! If we didn''t do November, the wet season would hit, and then we would have to wait until June for the rainy season to be def over.

In my new found brighter mood, I have come up with a few positive points about postponing the wedding:

- it''s only 12 weeks, what''s 12 weeks when you have waited 13 years?
- more time to lose weight
- more time to save money
- might be able to scrounge up the cash for a honeymoon in that time (our tax checks will be in my then, and also my October bonus from work)
- the weather will be warmer, so the pools will be nicer
- I can use those cute little paper fans for favours
- DF will be happy - most important point!!!

Spark, you are right, I am an absolute believer in the idea that things happen for a reason, there was a reason this has happnened, who knows why, but it was meant to be.

Thanks everyone for your support, it means a lot to have understanding!!!!

In

 

[gwendolyn]

First of all, *******HUGE HUGS*******

Honey sweetheart, I am so very sorry that you have been upset and crying over this situation--for what it''s worth, I think it''s wonderful that you''ll be rescheduling to make sure your future husband''s brother will be at the wedding, and I bet that this whole experience of rescheduling will bring all of you even closer together, when he sees what you''ve done to make sure he will be able to be there with you. I would be moved beyond words if someone changed their whole wedding just for me!

I also (still) think you are an amazing woman, for being able to have such a positive outlook on all this in the end. You''re perfectly entitled to feel disappointed and worried about the changes, but mostly you sound upbeat and comfortable with the decision, which is fabulous! You''re right--in the scheme of things, another few weeks is nothing, and you will have the memories of your loved ones being all around you on the day, instead of lots of loved ones and one big empty hole where your FI''s brother should have been. It will be an amazing day.

 

[pocahontas]

Oh Honey, I''m sorry you have to postpone your wedding ((((HUGS)))) I agree that you''ve got every right to be upset and disappointed. I think most, if not all of us, would feel the same in your situation. I agree with Sparks that everything happens for a reason and although it can be difficult to accept that in the moment, everything becomes apparent in time. You''ve got a great attitude though and I love your list of positive points!

 

[arjunajane]

Date: 2/14/2009 10:58:53 PM
Author: honey22
hey AJ, nice to see you around here

He has been told that if isn''t willing to stay for the entire contract, then he won''t be offered that contract. Nor will his girlfriend, which is his dancing partner. They are both dancers, and this is a huge opportunity for them. They have both flown halfway across the world, and it''s great money too. He really needs this money at the moment to pay his debts, he has been living on practically nothing for the past fews years finishing his dancing course, and he wants to get some more cash to be able to go overseas maybe in a few years and do some more training.

This decision also affects his gf (A). They are hired together to dance in a show as partners, if he doesn''t take the contract, she misses out automatically. They won''t let him leave early as then they will be down a couple for their show. I personally think it wouldn''t be the end of the world if they did the show minus a couple, but their employer feels differently. We can''t expect A to give up this chance for him to attend. They have worked too hard for that.

Anyhoo, I am ashamed to admit it, but I have spent the afternoon in bed crying feeling miserable for myself. We honestly don''t know what to do now? If I only knew how to start a poll!!

Hiya sweety,
nice to see you too, but I''m sorry about the circumstance

Thankyou for explaining the above - I understand a bit better now, that profession is surely very competitive.
I defo agree that the employers are being pretty OTT about the show and looking at both of them as a couple only and not individuals - but hey, I''m not their employer unfortunately! Good for them for chasing their dreams

No need to be ashamed - I think the way you are handling this is extremely admirable and really shows your true caring and love for your Fi - I''m very impressed actually! I''m sure there are not alot of brides who would deal with such a drama as decently as you are. ((hugs))

I was very happy to read your update - what do you mean "vain" ya dork?! Your makeup artist and photographer sound great - understanding and flexible, which is exactly what I would want for a wedding. Good thing they are not jerk-y ! I know just how you feel I can''t stand wearing makeup etc when its really hot.
However I''m sure you will look 110% beautiful, try not to worry about the heat hon.

I really like your "pros" list - I was about to tell you how to start a poll, but it looks as if you already have a plan. It seems as if this did happen for a reason, and I''m sure your guy loves you even more for being such a kind and considerate wife to be !

Kudos to you Honey for handling this with dignity and positivity - it would be a nicer world if more brides to be were like you, lol !

 

[lliang_chi]

Honey,

Why don''t you and your FI have a low-key/secret wedding on your original date, and then have the big blow out party when your FI''s brother can make it. And I totally understand what you''re going through. If my sister couldn''t be there for my wedding, I''d have to postpone it too. Your FI is so lucky to be engaged to someone who understands how important his brother is to him.

Just a thought

 

[Clairitek]

It sounds like you''ve begun to see some silver lining to the predicment you''re in. I hope it works out for you so that everyone involved can be happy. I''m glad you were able to get in touch with your hair and make up woman and that she offered some solutions to soothe your worries.

Whatever happens it will be a gorgeous, wonderful day!