Dumb to have a wedding on an Air Base???

[jesterjigger]

I just saw this in another post, and I have to say, I was really shocked and appalled when I read that

. I am in the Air Force, as is my fiance. We are planning our wedding for next September with the first choice being the Air Force base closest to my family, since that is also where we hope to be stationed after our current assignments. I view the location as ideal, since the church and reception site are practically next door to each other, eliminating the need for guests to drive from the ceremony to the reception. Additionally, the chef on base has been very positively reviewed in area papers, but the meal will cost $8-10 less than what I''ve found that offers the same amount/kind of food elsewhere in the state. Not to mention we won''t have to pay a fee for rental of the location, so we''ll have that much more money to spend on a band for our guests to enjoy and more appetizers/food stations. Downfalls can be found in any location site, but if the place is meaningful to you I think you should get married there. Plus, in my case, it''s hard to plan a wedding from the other side of the globe. Personally, I hope that any guests that feel it''s dumb for me to get married on an Air Force Base don''t RSVP and don''t show up. Obviously they are not supportive of my career choice and I''d rather them not be there anyway. I agree that weddings should be enjoyable for guests, but that doesn''t mean the guests can act like spoiled brats because everything isn''t perfect for them.

That comment made me want to ask, is this viewpoint shared by many on the board?

 

[Gypsy]

Stupid comment. Thoughtless and frankly rude.

I think you can LITTERALLY have a wedding anywhere YOU want to. The base sounds good to me, personally. I''d go!

 

[tanyak]

I saw that other comment, too. I agree that it came off a little rude. I''m assuming her point was the guests had a hard time getting clearance onto the base. As a guest, I could see that being frustrating. But if the bride and groom have that squared away, I don''t see a problem at all!

 

[Kaylyn]

...

 

[aussiegirl23]

JesterJigger...

I didn''t see the other thread that contained that comment - what was it??

But, I''d have to say it''s an incredibly good idea -- for all of the reasons you mentioned...

My boyfriend is Army, and we''ve been to several military weddings recently (like 5+ Army though no AirForce ones). Of those, 4 were on post. We''ve hit up weddings at Ft. Bragg, Ft. Lewis, Ft. McPherson and Ft. Drum...) just listing those to indicate that these were really all over the country... so it wasn''t just a local thing - I mean WA, GA, NY and NC pretty much span the US)....

Each wedding was beautiful, special in their own right, and incorporated the militray in varying degrees. All in all, I think it''s a logical idea, especially if the place means something to you and your fiance. It''s economically prudent, and can make your wedding special and distinct from all the rest.

My boyfriend and I have talked about possible locations for the wedding, and we''re both open to the idea of having it on post. What, are we supposed to forget that the military is a huge part of our lives when it comes to our wedding?

Don''t take some silly person''s comment to heart... It sounds like it was a rude one.

Hugs to you!

Aussiegirl : p

 

[Kaylyn]

Oh, and one more thing...they had the wedding in town, off base. That's also why I didn't understand why they couldn't have the reception in town as well.

I really, really, really wasn't trying to be rude. I'm sorry I came off that way.

BTW, that post has been deleted since it seems to have offended several people.

 

[aussiegirl23]

Sorry, forgot to add...

Nobody I talked to at ANY of these weddings had issues getting on post to attend the weddings. There was information sent ahead of time, but as long as you were on the guest list and had a valid form of ID it wasn''t an issue, you were let on quickly and efficiently.

Anyhow, it sounds like there was a lot more going on with this wedding than jsut that it was on post. Don''t let that cloud your opinion of the entire idea.

Aussiegirl : p

 

[Kaylyn]

...

 

[aljdewey]

Date: 8/10/2006 9:24:45 PM
Author: Kaylyn
Um, no, you don''t know the whole story.

My step cousin is from this town. Her fiancee was stationed here. Our entire family is from this town.

Instead, his family insisted that this was the place it was going to be (mind you, none of them had ever been here before, so how would they know?).

Seeing as though neither of them felt particularly strongly about anything that happened (where the ceremony was, where the reception was, etc.), it seems to me that they could have picked somewhere a bit more convenient. Or they could have done a better job taking care of details.

Well.....I didn''t see the other thread, and I don''t have strong feelings on this one way or the other. But, from reading what you''ve wrote above, something came to mind that you may not have considered about your step-cousin''s wedding.

The groom is obviously in the military, and since his family was the one to push for the location, I''d surmise they feel quite sentimental about having a military connection involved in the wedding. Ok, they could have afforded anywhere.....but my guess is this meant something to them.

Since you say the bride/groom didn''t seem to have a strong preference, I can easily see where they would have been inclined to make his parents happy if they really wanted that.

I would imagine that they (his family) likely didn''t foresee the problems you ended up having. I don''t think any parent in his/her right mind would want to make a choice that *intentionally* causes snags on his/her child''s wedding day.

Back to the sentimentality thing for a second: I can relate to wanting something sentimental and meaningful. My father and my late FIL were both in the Coast Guard. As result, hubby and I both grew up with the ocean/sea being a huge part of our respective childhoods. It had very sentimental meaning that we chose to marry in a park right on the ocean, and that our reception was on a schooner.

I''m sure it would have been more convenient if we''d married in either my hometown or hubby''s....but we chose to marry in our present home area instead, and both families are a 90 minute drive from there. Everyone was more than willing to stretch a little, and we were really grateful that they were so laid back.

 

[indecisive]

Don''t let it bother you hun! I got kind of upset about a thread a while back when someone went off on how it was so stupid that her friends had their wedding on Memorial Day weekend etc, etc right after we had decided to get married the Sunday of Memorial weekend. We have a lot of out of town family and we are planning 2 years in advance so that people will be able to make travel plans and it works for us, just like the Air Force base works best for you guys. Don''t let it get to you. What matters most is the two of you and your loved ones who would go anywhere to be with you on your wedding day. BTW my Dad, Grandpa, and fiance''s Grandpa were all in the Air Force.. I think your plan and location sound great!

 

[Kaylyn]

.

 

[Gypsy]

I don''t see how anyone has attacked you since you appologized. So I really don''t understand why you''d recant-- but well... it really doesn''t make you look like the resident angel now that you have. I would stuck to the appology... then avoided the thead.

 

[RoseAngel04]

Date: 8/10/2006 10:29:27 PM
Author: indecisive
Don''t let it bother you hun! I got kind of upset about a thread a while back when someone went off on how it was so stupid that her friends had their wedding on Memorial Day weekend etc, etc right after we had decided to get married the Sunday of Memorial weekend. We have a lot of out of town family and we are planning 2 years in advance so that people will be able to make travel plans and it works for us, just like the Air Force base works best for you guys. Don''t let it get to you. What matters most is the two of you and your loved ones who would go anywhere to be with you on your wedding day. BTW my Dad, Grandpa, and fiance''s Grandpa were all in the Air Force.. I think your plan and location sound great!

Indecisive - When I read this I thought "huh this sounds somewhat familiar" but isn''t completely true. I am who wrote this opinion that I had about the Memorial Day Weekend Wedding. I''m not trying to get into it with you, for I honestly didn''t know you had just picked a MD wkend wedding, and never would have intentionally tried to pick at you. The part that isn''t true is that I never said "how it was so stupid." The thread I made my comment in was discussing "Wedding Pet Peeves" and I honestly gave my own pet peeves. I''m sorry that I offended you, but I was being honest. It makes sense for you to have your wedding on a holiday weekend since you have out of town guests etc to consider. I remember reading your comment back to me on the same thread with the "rolling of the eyes" face...noticing i''d obviously struck a nerve.


Jester - I don''t see anything wrong or "dumb" with having a wedding on an Air Base. It''s your career and makes the wedding location personal for ya''ll.

 

[jesterjigger]

Thanks you guys...and Kaylyn, I can see your point...especially with the other issues surrounding the wedding, it''s just the comment that generalized all Air Force Bases struck a nerve. What I''m hoping people will do is come early to check out the Air Force Museum that''s on base so that they don''t have to worry about any delay there may be in getting on base. We can''t book the location until September (they only book a year out) but the top of the list of questions my mom is supposed to address is what do we need to do to make sure guests can get on base as easily as possible? I know I shouldn''t have let it bother me, and I''m sorry, I think I''m a little stressed out with the idea of planning the wedding from Korea...and now that it''s getting closer to when we can actually book the site I''m getting nervous that it may not be available when my parents try to reserve it. I don''t know what I''d do then...I really wanted September 8th, but have already done TONS of research on Dayton vendors.

 

[indecisive]

"Indecisive - When I read this I thought "huh this sounds somewhat familiar" but isn''t completely true. I am who wrote this opinion that I had about the Memorial Day Weekend Wedding. I''m not trying to get into it with you, for I honestly didn''t know you had just picked a MD wkend wedding, and never would have intentionally tried to pick at you. The part that isn''t true is that I never said "how it was so stupid." The thread I made my comment in was discussing "Wedding Pet Peeves" and I honestly gave my own pet peeves. I''m sorry that I offended you, but I was being honest. It makes sense for you to have your wedding on a holiday weekend since you have out of town guests etc to consider. I remember reading your comment back to me on the same thread with the "rolling of the eyes" face...noticing i''d obviously struck a nerve. "

I never said that you were intentionally trying to pick on me. What you said did kind of upset me though because you did imply that it was stupid by saying "why would anyone do that type thing" or whatever, which was IMO judgmental the same way Kaylyn''s statement was about weddings at Air Force bases. Even though she didn''t know jesterjigger was having her wedding on an AFB it still struck a nerve with her so I was just saying that I understood how she was feeling. You can have whatever pet peeve you want but if you are going to say things like that you can''t expect people not to have any opinions back.

Anyway jester, I understand and like I said before, it doesn''t matter what some person on the internet says; your fiancé and your family matter. I think it would be cool to have people come early and check out the base and museum. That is part of the reason we are planning on Memorial Day; so we can see our whole family for a weekend instead of just the reception. I am just now understanding how stressful this wedding planning really is... good luck with everything!

 

[RoseAngel04]

Date: 8/11/2006 12:41:49 AM
Author: indecisive


'Indecisive - When I read this I thought 'huh this sounds somewhat familiar' but isn't completely true. I am who wrote this opinion that I had about the Memorial Day Weekend Wedding. I'm not trying to get into it with you, for I honestly didn't know you had just picked a MD wkend wedding, and never would have intentionally tried to pick at you. The part that isn't true is that I never said 'how it was so stupid.' The thread I made my comment in was discussing 'Wedding Pet Peeves' and I honestly gave my own pet peeves. I'm sorry that I offended you, but I was being honest. It makes sense for you to have your wedding on a holiday weekend since you have out of town guests etc to consider. I remember reading your comment back to me on the same thread with the 'rolling of the eyes' face...noticing i'd obviously struck a nerve. '

I never said that you were intentionally trying to pick on me. What you said did kind of upset me though because you did imply that it was stupid by saying 'why would anyone do that type thing' or whatever, which was IMO judgmental the same way Kaylyn's statement was about weddings at Air Force bases. Even though she didn't know jesterjigger was having her wedding on an AFB it still struck a nerve with her so I was just saying that I understood how she was feeling. You can have whatever pet peeve you want but if you are going to say things like that you can't expect people not to have any opinions back.

Anyway jester, I understand and like I said before, it doesn't matter what some person on the internet says; your fiancé and your family matter. I think it would be cool to have people come early and check out the base and museum. That is part of the reason we are planning on Memorial Day; so we can see our whole family for a weekend instead of just the reception. I am just now understanding how stressful this wedding planning really is... good luck with everything!

I know that you never said/implied I was intentionally trying to pick on you, I just wanted to make it clear that I wasn't. You can think I tried to imply it was stupid, but in reality I was implying that I didn't think it would be convenient for a lot of guests/families that go out of town for a holiday weekend. Online it's easy to judge what you think others are saying through the words they type. In your instance I believe you said this date was planned 2 years before, but in my instance it wasn't. A lot of people say a lot of judgmental/hurtful things. I have even personally been offended on PS, but that's part of life and I do my best to let it roll off my back.

ETA: Indecisive: I just want to reinforce that I'm sorry my comment rubbed you the wrong way....afterall it is YOUR day and the wedding should be how you and your FI wish.

To each his/her own!

 

[codex57]

I don't see how it's dumb. It's got a church and reception hall. How is that any different than having it off base at the same locations? It might be a little odd, if neither the bride or groom or any close family member wasn't in the service, unless there was another good reason to have it there (like the respected chef which they wanted and only could get if they had it on base). If the bride and groom have a particular reason, I don't know if any place can be considered "dumb".

 

[IrishAngel7982]

Jester~
I think a wedding on the AFB would be awesome! I come from a naval family, and my cousin ended up marrying a sexy Navy guy even though she wasn''t in the service. They got married a few years ago on the base and it was awesome! It was meaningful to our family and her groom as well...not to mention it was gorgeous! Go for it!!

 

[rainbowtrout]

I''m having a "huh"?? moment here...


Both my grandfathers were in the Air Force for 30-odd years. I certainly don''t think they would think it was wierd...

I mean, with current security issues it might be a little hairy, but if you check those things out beforehand?

 

[ocbride2007]

Jester - I think it is wonderful that you want to have your ceremony and reception in a place that is symbolic to you and your fiance. People say a lot of things online, and it is just their one, singular opinion, and in no way reflects on your decision. There are a lot of opinions expressed on this and every site, and they are merely opinions. Some may be valid, and some may just be fueled by emotions, and many just are taken out of context. Your wedding will be unique to you, and will have your family and friends as guests, people who know and love you, and know that this is your choice. I have always loved to see military ceremony mixed in with weddings, it gives it such an official feel. BTW, is your fiance planing on wearing his uniform, along with the groomsmen? I am sure it will be lovely, and a wonderful day for you and all of your guests!

And a general comment to everyone - the internet is a great method of communication, but it must be taken with a grain of salt. Anyone''s comments about something that annoys them shouldn''t be taken personally. I certainly would feel terrible if someone was offended by something I said, but the way things come across online it is hard to judge other''s reactions. When you are in public, you can censor your statements to fit the situation - if you are among church friends or conservative company, you would try not to use the colorful phrases you use elsewhere, lest you offend someone''s sensibilities. You would make quite different jokes at work than you do at a bar with your friends. But you don''t have the benefit of seeing and getting to know others online, and knowing what the limits are. Everyone should take care to avoid offending someone, but sometimes we all just don''t realize that someone else may disagree. It is wonderful to have an open forum to express opinions and ask for others opinions, but in truth, this is the internet, open to anyone. If one person disagrees with me online, it doesn''t mean the world is against me! But we may be able to learn a bit from other''s complaints as well, so we should still have them!! Just read everything online with a BS filter

 

[anchor31]

No, it''s definitely not dumb, as you''re both in the Air Force. My brother is in the Canadian Royal Navy wants to get married on a Navy ship. I actually think it''s pretty cool.