Gypsy
Super_Ideal_Rock
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Elopment discussion -- wish me luck
- Thread starter jas
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flopkins
Ideal_Rock
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MissCongeniality
Shiny_Rock
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firebirdgold
Ideal_Rock
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jas
Brilliant_Rock
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Oh my goodness, I really worried people here. I''m SO sorry about that. I''ve been in bed with what seems to be a combination of the flu and the plague for a week, then I moved, and now I''ve been getting ready to go back to work.
No elopment, no honeymoon, although the wedding is still on. I''m totally fried.
Details later, as you all deserve it. Thank you so much for your kindness and I''m sorry if I worried you. My "reward" for unpacking about 100000 boxes will be to catch up on everyone''s story and to share my own.
All I can say is chocolate may indeed cure all!
Jackie
No elopment, no honeymoon, although the wedding is still on. I''m totally fried.
Details later, as you all deserve it. Thank you so much for your kindness and I''m sorry if I worried you. My "reward" for unpacking about 100000 boxes will be to catch up on everyone''s story and to share my own.
All I can say is chocolate may indeed cure all!
Jackie
BrightSpot
Ideal_Rock
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flopkins
Ideal_Rock
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jas
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Hello from the flu ward!
I want to, again, apologize for any worry I caused. I am a firm believer in the mind-body connection, and since I was out of my mind last week, it makes sense my body followed! I'm better now, although pooped from moving and getting ready to start teaching again -- would you believe I have 4 preps this year -- 3 of them new? I could strangle my old boss, who gleefully scheduled me this way before trapsing off to the Administrative Offices. Let's hope the Peter Principle comes and bites him in the butt.
In short -- good news all around.
Anyway, I did have a long talk with my fiance...he listened carefully, and I'll be darned if he didn't start crying when he asked me to reconsider having a public wedding. The boy wants to, and I quote, "Sing it to the world" how much he loves me (and no, he won't be singing). He's more aware than I thought of his family's tendency to go overboard, and it embarrasses him, but ultimately, he told me that he has been dreaming of a wedding to me for a long time and wants to make it the most special day of our lives. He pleaded with me to just stay focused on how much we love each other and promised to be my "rock" through all this other nonsense.
Ok, really, how could I not agree to that? It melted my heart.
I've been using that as my guide...his line that, "We love each other and everything else is commentary." It has eased things quite a bit. Now that I'm moved in to our house (hee!) life is calmer and we're easily navigating the transition...we're great roommates and so very happy. I've never seen him beam so much, and my face actually hurts from smiling.
Last weekend, we went to the first "party" -- thrown by his best friend, who is one of his 2 Best Men. His best friend is one of ELEVEN kids (oh their poor mama!) and I guess FI was sort of "adopted" as the 12th kid. FI has told me that he felt more a part of their family than his own. I "got it" when I got there. All 11 sibs were there...some flew in from across the country...they threw this party b/c they all knew we probably couldn't invite the entire tribe. They embraced him in their rough-and-tumble way (a far cry from his dispassionate family) and I fell in love with all of them, even though they are a bit in-your-face and boisterous (you'd have to be in a family that size!)
FI stood up in the middle of the festivities and made the most beautiful toast...he said he had three families now...his own, this HUGE family of 11, and now, my family. He said he was just the luckiest man in the world, because of them and "most importantly" because of me. I was beaming and my heart was pounding -- my FI is awfully shy and hates public speaking, but we couldn't get him to shut up.
I was so proud of him, and of us. He kept pulling me aside saying, "Is this ok?" (meaning, was I ok with all the hooplah?) Of course it was ok. It was a big ol' love fest, if not really, really exhausting.
The odd thing was that his parents felt and acted totally out of place. It's like they were paralyzed by all the displays of affection and were kind of on the outside of it all. His mother was very awkward...I almost felt bad for her, until she started telling random (and I do mean random) stories about how she was Miss Palmolive USA or something like that to anyone who'd listen. It was all I could do not to start humming "Tiny Bubbles". But I'm evil. Evil, I tells ya.
So I was actually ok, happy, reveling. Feelin' the love, you know? I honestly could have no more parties/wedding receptions, and feel ok with it all.
BUT -- it got even better...
The next day, I had my first fitting. (If you want to see the dress, check out the Show Me Your Dress thread...here...http://www.pricescope.com/forum/bride-world-wide-grooms-grooves/show-us-your-dress-t35889-210.html) It only needs to be hemmed (like 3 feet -- who do they design these for? Women who are 10 feet tall?) and taken in at the waist. It fit like a dream. It just was one of those little bridal moments that made me happy. Silly, fun, and all that. The little pedestal where they do the fittings is by a window, and there were women coming in from the street to see the dress. It was a little odd...but I was really flattered. It is a gorgeous dress, though. Some of the women started talking with my mom, and of course they got into a random conversation about how "quickly the girls grow up" -- which got my mom skipping down memory lane about -- TOILET TRAINING. I laughed and told mom that if she was feeling that nostalgic about toilet training, we could re-think the centerpieces...maybe some nice flowers stuck inside one of those little potties?
The cincher has been our pre-wedding counciling with our rabbi, who's fresh outta rabbi school. He's adorable and very earnest. My sweet FI, who has been in therapy for intimacy issues and is very private about his feelings has just been saying all the right things -- you know, why he wants to marry me and all that. Our thoughts on the ceremony are harmonious, as are the much more important thoughts on the marriage. Those are very very special sessions we have.
Ultimately, I have to cope with his Kool-Aid drinking family. It's easier (obviously) when we're not dealing with them every day...and I'm sure the upcoming parties that are thrown by his family are going to make me want to rip my hair out...but for now, I'm feeling much better.
Thank you all for indulging me, and I do have to warn you that it is so likely I will have a meltdown (or 5) again as we have more and more in-law activities. But right now, I'm just in love with my dear heart.
Peace to you all, and thanks again,
Jackie
I want to, again, apologize for any worry I caused. I am a firm believer in the mind-body connection, and since I was out of my mind last week, it makes sense my body followed! I'm better now, although pooped from moving and getting ready to start teaching again -- would you believe I have 4 preps this year -- 3 of them new? I could strangle my old boss, who gleefully scheduled me this way before trapsing off to the Administrative Offices. Let's hope the Peter Principle comes and bites him in the butt.
In short -- good news all around.
Anyway, I did have a long talk with my fiance...he listened carefully, and I'll be darned if he didn't start crying when he asked me to reconsider having a public wedding. The boy wants to, and I quote, "Sing it to the world" how much he loves me (and no, he won't be singing). He's more aware than I thought of his family's tendency to go overboard, and it embarrasses him, but ultimately, he told me that he has been dreaming of a wedding to me for a long time and wants to make it the most special day of our lives. He pleaded with me to just stay focused on how much we love each other and promised to be my "rock" through all this other nonsense.
Ok, really, how could I not agree to that? It melted my heart.
I've been using that as my guide...his line that, "We love each other and everything else is commentary." It has eased things quite a bit. Now that I'm moved in to our house (hee!) life is calmer and we're easily navigating the transition...we're great roommates and so very happy. I've never seen him beam so much, and my face actually hurts from smiling.
Last weekend, we went to the first "party" -- thrown by his best friend, who is one of his 2 Best Men. His best friend is one of ELEVEN kids (oh their poor mama!) and I guess FI was sort of "adopted" as the 12th kid. FI has told me that he felt more a part of their family than his own. I "got it" when I got there. All 11 sibs were there...some flew in from across the country...they threw this party b/c they all knew we probably couldn't invite the entire tribe. They embraced him in their rough-and-tumble way (a far cry from his dispassionate family) and I fell in love with all of them, even though they are a bit in-your-face and boisterous (you'd have to be in a family that size!)
FI stood up in the middle of the festivities and made the most beautiful toast...he said he had three families now...his own, this HUGE family of 11, and now, my family. He said he was just the luckiest man in the world, because of them and "most importantly" because of me. I was beaming and my heart was pounding -- my FI is awfully shy and hates public speaking, but we couldn't get him to shut up.
The odd thing was that his parents felt and acted totally out of place. It's like they were paralyzed by all the displays of affection and were kind of on the outside of it all. His mother was very awkward...I almost felt bad for her, until she started telling random (and I do mean random) stories about how she was Miss Palmolive USA or something like that to anyone who'd listen. It was all I could do not to start humming "Tiny Bubbles". But I'm evil. Evil, I tells ya.
So I was actually ok, happy, reveling. Feelin' the love, you know? I honestly could have no more parties/wedding receptions, and feel ok with it all.
BUT -- it got even better...
The next day, I had my first fitting. (If you want to see the dress, check out the Show Me Your Dress thread...here...http://www.pricescope.com/forum/bride-world-wide-grooms-grooves/show-us-your-dress-t35889-210.html) It only needs to be hemmed (like 3 feet -- who do they design these for? Women who are 10 feet tall?) and taken in at the waist. It fit like a dream. It just was one of those little bridal moments that made me happy. Silly, fun, and all that. The little pedestal where they do the fittings is by a window, and there were women coming in from the street to see the dress. It was a little odd...but I was really flattered. It is a gorgeous dress, though. Some of the women started talking with my mom, and of course they got into a random conversation about how "quickly the girls grow up" -- which got my mom skipping down memory lane about -- TOILET TRAINING. I laughed and told mom that if she was feeling that nostalgic about toilet training, we could re-think the centerpieces...maybe some nice flowers stuck inside one of those little potties?
The cincher has been our pre-wedding counciling with our rabbi, who's fresh outta rabbi school. He's adorable and very earnest. My sweet FI, who has been in therapy for intimacy issues and is very private about his feelings has just been saying all the right things -- you know, why he wants to marry me and all that. Our thoughts on the ceremony are harmonious, as are the much more important thoughts on the marriage. Those are very very special sessions we have.
Ultimately, I have to cope with his Kool-Aid drinking family. It's easier (obviously) when we're not dealing with them every day...and I'm sure the upcoming parties that are thrown by his family are going to make me want to rip my hair out...but for now, I'm feeling much better.
Thank you all for indulging me, and I do have to warn you that it is so likely I will have a meltdown (or 5) again as we have more and more in-law activities. But right now, I'm just in love with my dear heart.
Peace to you all, and thanks again,
Jackie
IrishAngel7982
Brilliant_Rock
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- May 5, 2006
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Jas~
Thanks for checking in! I''m sorry you''re still feeling a little sick but I''m happy you''re feeling better about the big picture. Your FI sounded absolutely adorable at that party. It''s funny how different people/environments bring out different sides of our personalities. I think you and your FI should surround yourselves with more people like his adoptive family.
Keep it up girl!
Thanks for checking in! I''m sorry you''re still feeling a little sick but I''m happy you''re feeling better about the big picture. Your FI sounded absolutely adorable at that party. It''s funny how different people/environments bring out different sides of our personalities. I think you and your FI should surround yourselves with more people like his adoptive family.
Keep it up girl!
jas
Brilliant_Rock
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- May 9, 2006
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Thanks, Irish Angel, you''ve been so nice to me throughout this whole debacle.
The only thing keeping me from hanging out more with this "adoptive" family was the constant questioning about kids! I guess I shouldn''t have been surprised, given the number of kids in the family, and the number of grandkids (34 with a few on the way) but it was the first time having children came up...so weird. It''s almost like you can track an engagement by the questions...first comes, "When''s the date?" then comes, "Do you have a dress/location/caterer?" and now we''re on the "so, have you thought about kids yet?"
It was a little shocking (although so nice, they really were very very nice) -- I was always raised not to mention that because, as my mom says, "you never know people''s medical history" -- and ironically, now I have medical issues that may preclude our having kids...
But it was awfully funny. It''s like they couldn''t wait to have us popping out some rug rats to join the throng!
We are getting a puppy, though, which seemed to stop the questioning.
The only thing keeping me from hanging out more with this "adoptive" family was the constant questioning about kids! I guess I shouldn''t have been surprised, given the number of kids in the family, and the number of grandkids (34 with a few on the way) but it was the first time having children came up...so weird. It''s almost like you can track an engagement by the questions...first comes, "When''s the date?" then comes, "Do you have a dress/location/caterer?" and now we''re on the "so, have you thought about kids yet?"
It was a little shocking (although so nice, they really were very very nice) -- I was always raised not to mention that because, as my mom says, "you never know people''s medical history" -- and ironically, now I have medical issues that may preclude our having kids...
But it was awfully funny. It''s like they couldn''t wait to have us popping out some rug rats to join the throng!
We are getting a puppy, though, which seemed to stop the questioning.
sk8rjen
Brilliant_Rock
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jas
Brilliant_Rock
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Thank you, Jen! Actually, the planning is (gasp!) pretty much done...invites go out next week -- I can''t wait to get mine in the mail (yeah, it''s silly, but I mailed one to myself!) All that''s left is to write the program, make some small decisions about the ceremony, make up out-of-town bags, put ribbons on our favors, and make the seating chart (ugh).
I also have to think of things to say to dear FI during the rehearsal dinner...but I may keep those remarks short considering...
Hope it''s going well for you also!
I also have to think of things to say to dear FI during the rehearsal dinner...but I may keep those remarks short considering...
Hope it''s going well for you also!
IrishAngel7982
Brilliant_Rock
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You''re very welcome, and that''s what we''re here for Jackie! Besides, I''m a fellow Chicagoan. Anyway, I''m glad the puppy distracted all the baby talk. 34 grandchildren is a huge number, but I guess that''s what you get with 11 kids. You''re getting close now! The RD will be over before you know it!
Anyway, I''m glad the puppy distracted all the baby talk. 34 grandchildren is a huge number, but I guess that''s what you get with 11 kids. You''re getting close now! The RD will be over before you know it!
flopkins
Ideal_Rock
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YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I''m so glad things are working out well for you on all fronts - esp that your FI is being very supportive and loving. It''s funny, DH and I didn''t think that being married would feel that different, but now we are both loving it and it does feel different and special - I totally agree that the ceremony adn the fact that you are getting married to each other is the most important thing!
I''m so glad things are working out well for you on all fronts - esp that your FI is being very supportive and loving. It''s funny, DH and I didn''t think that being married would feel that different, but now we are both loving it and it does feel different and special - I totally agree that the ceremony adn the fact that you are getting married to each other is the most important thing!
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