Engaged & the reactions

[Circe]

Asscher<3, that sucks all around. Any chance your friend is just oblivious? When I got engaged, none of my friends said much about my ring except for the basic manufactured coo of admiration. I figured it might not be their cup of tea ... but with at least one, it''s just that she''s really not a jewelry person. Two years later, it caught her eye, she blinked, and said, "Wow, that''s huge. I love it! How big is it?" TWO YEARS! Better late than never.

As for the folks at your law school walking around chortling over your ring ... I got nothin''. I think they''re just evil.

 

[mrscushion]

That IS hurtful. I am sorry. 1 carat is plenty and at a young age it is very generous. I''d love to ooh and ah about your pics -- pics, please?

 

[decodelighted]

What you need is a solid retort ... here''s the only one I could think of.

GREEN-EYED HO: You know your ring is the smallest at law school!
YOU: Well you know what they say ... Big rocks compensate for small c*cks.

 

[sba771]

Date: 3/23/2009 12:20:21 PM
Author: decodelighted
What you need is a solid retort ... here''s the only one I could think of.


GREEN-EYED HO: You know your ring is the smallest at law school!

YOU: Well you know what they say ... Big rocks compensate for small c*cks.

OMG! I just snorted at work!

 

[Izzy03]

While I do not go out actively seeking revenge, when the opportunity hits, I take advantage!

If I were you, I would NOT ask her to be a bridesmaid! I know that sounds harsh, but I think she has already been harsh! Plus if she is being sour now, she would probably not make a good bridesmaid anyway! Talk about revenge!

But thats just me......

 

[Still_Waiting]

Date: 3/23/2009 12:20:21 PM
Author: decodelighted
What you need is a solid retort ... here''s the only one I could think of.

GREEN-EYED HO: You know your ring is the smallest at law school!
YOU: Well you know what they say ... Big rocks compensate for small c*cks.

I LOVE it!!! That just made me laugh out loud!

 

[mrscushion]

Date: 3/23/2009 12:20:21 PM
Author: decodelighted
What you need is a solid retort ... here''s the only one I could think of.
GREEN-EYED HO: You know your ring is the smallest at law school!
YOU: Well you know what they say ... Big rocks compensate for small c*cks.

Muahahahahaha....

 

[OUpearlgirl]

Date: 3/23/2009 12:20:21 PM
Author: decodelighted
What you need is a solid retort ... here''s the only one I could think of.


GREEN-EYED HO: You know your ring is the smallest at law school!

YOU: Well you know what they say ... Big rocks compensate for small c*cks.

Deco- Oh my gosh. You always crack me up, but this one made me laugh out loud in the library!!

Asscher- I think we''ve all been there when a "friend" disappoints us like that. Next time she says something actively mean, take a deep breath and let her know it hurts your feelings. Maybe she isn''t aware of how she sounds or what she is doing to you.

 

[Bia]

Date: 3/23/2009 12:20:21 PM
Author: decodelighted
GREEN-EYED HO: You know your ring is the smallest at law school!
YOU: Well you know what they say ... Big rocks compensate for small c*cks.

That one will work, I guarantee it.

Deserves a PS Bravo

 

[asscher<3]

Date: 3/23/2009 6:05:24 AM
Author: tradergirl
Gee, with all the problems out there now . . . you get all emotional about what someone says about a ring. Nice. Get some perspective. Unless you''re Jennifer Lopez, there''s always going to be someone with a bigger, better ring. You might focus on the person who gave it to you instead of some girlfriend and her PMS.

Thanks, I think you misunderstood me. For the most part I am very happy and I do focus on the part that I am happy and my fiance- he knows I love him and am over the top about the engagement. And if you noticed I said I was over the top that he got me a carat and thought to spend that much on me (I have perspective - I would have been happy with a silver ring and a proposal just so that there was some symbolism). What matters is what the ring means it means not the size. I am aware - I just wanted to talk about the one problem. I am not a crazy material girl that must top all the huge carat rings around. I just wanted to talk to people about the small fallout that did happen. So please don''t get the wrong idea.

 

[asscher<3]

Date: 3/23/2009 12:21:57 PM
Author: sba771

Date: 3/23/2009 12:20:21 PM

Author: decodelighted

What you need is a solid retort ... here''s the only one I could think of.



GREEN-EYED HO: You know your ring is the smallest at law school!


YOU: Well you know what they say ... Big rocks compensate for small c*cks.

OMG! I just snorted at work!

Ha! That is hilarious. Thanks that really made me laugh.

 

[asscher<3]

Thanks everyone for all your comments. It did make me feel better that others have experienced similar things. I''m one of the first of the immediate people to get engaged.

I will post pics sometime soon. Thank you for all the support. And just to reiterate for those that seem to misunderstand me - I did not want a carat, I did not ask for a carat & I would have been just as happy with smaller. I was just showing my response to people taking jabs at my ring- a carat is not small period and smaller rings are just as beautiful as the big ones.

I just wanted people (like my best friend) to be happy for me and if they gushed over the ring it would be a bonus but just to be happy or silent. Not actually say bad things to me.

Thanks for all the responses once again and for those who understood what I was trying to say.

 

[FrekeChild]

I like Deco's response best. Wow. It's been a while since I've laughed that hard at a post.

I'm sorry they are treating you like that. Go post pictures in SMTR so we can all fawn over your ring with compliments and make you feel better!

 

[NuggetBrain]

My mom cried when we showed her, but my brother and grandma showed no reaction when we told them. It was like, no big deal. Same with my dad. His parents were even kind of "bleh" (his father blurted out "are you serious??"). I''d say only my mom and his sisters were the excited ones in our family. Hell, his aunts and cousins got more excited than his parents did, and my best friends got more pumped then my brother did.

Of course, this is after we''d been dating for 8 years, and only 3 weeks after my grandfather (who was a very important part of my family, basically my father figure) passed away. I think people weren''t as excited because it was more of an "its about time" feeling. And my grandma was very upset that he couldn''t have proposed 3 weeks earlier so my grandpa could have seen it (he was very concerned that my FH wouldn''t propose and kept fussing about it.)

 

[blissfulbride]

My now ex bestfriend was so jealous of me that she was almost green the day i showed her my ring. I will never forget the look on her face. Right after that our friendship spiral to the dark end and I decide to let her go. She wasn''t happy for me at all, and I was just so sad.

And to be honest one of my bridesmaids took a nasty jab at my ring on friday, because I decide to get 2 50ct side stones on my 2.09 solitare. She was all like wow melissa your really over doing it. If i had to pick i would take a house over a ring any day. She says that because she has been dying to get married to her bf and he wont propose. She is just jealous, and she really shouldnt be talking about money. If we can afford it, and I want to wear a 10ct diamond. Its up to me!


Your bff is just hating !

 

[NuggetBrain]

Date: 3/23/2009 3:19:38 PM
Author: blissfulbride
And to be honest one of my bridesmaids took a nasty jab at my ring on friday, because I decide to get 2 50ct side stones on my 2.09 solitare. She was all like wow melissa your really over doing it. If i had to pick i would take a house over a ring any day.

I really really hate it when people go "oh, I''d rather have the house". I''ve gotten that a bit from folks when they ask me about my wedding plans: "Oh that sounds so expensive/Isn''t that a waste of money/You must be spending a lot on that. I''d rather have the house. Its much more important than some big party."

 

[Yimmers]

Ha ha, love that retort, Deco!

You just gotta ignore those law school cats; I was amazed on how petty, catty, and immature some people were in law school. Law school is a competitive environment, and some people are ULTRA competitive about everything...you probably don''t want to be friends with shallow people like that anyway.

As for your friend, she sounds jealous. If she''s going to continue making jabs, I don''t think I''d put her in the wedding party. You don''t need that negativity bringing you down.

 

[bee*]

Don''t mind them! There is always someone to rain on a parade. Your ring sounds fab.

 

[NeverEndingUpgrade]

Date: 3/23/2009 3:34:22 PM
Author: NuggetBrain

Date: 3/23/2009 3:19:38 PM
Author: blissfulbride
And to be honest one of my bridesmaids took a nasty jab at my ring on friday, because I decide to get 2 50ct side stones on my 2.09 solitare. She was all like wow melissa your really over doing it. If i had to pick i would take a house over a ring any day.

I really really hate it when people go ''oh, I''d rather have the house''. I''ve gotten that a bit from folks when they ask me about my wedding plans: ''Oh that sounds so expensive/Isn''t that a waste of money/You must be spending a lot on that. I''d rather have the house. Its much more important than some big party.''

I hate that too! I mean, you can always get a house, but how far into your marriage can you have a big wedding? Vow renewal ceremonies just aren''t the same. I remember my aunt tisking about how much I spent on my wedding (a grand total of $6,000 almost 17 years ago, so still cheap compared to the average Northern California wedding at the time) but I am the only one still married compared to all her divorced daughters! And I have had 2 houses since then, so I haven''t missed out and I''m still glad I had a formal wedding!

 

[got2goldens]

Date: 3/23/2009 12:20:21 PM
Author: decodelighted
What you need is a solid retort ... here''s the only one I could think of.

GREEN-EYED HO: You know your ring is the smallest at law school!
YOU: Well you know what they say ... Big rocks compensate for small c*cks.

Definitely PS Hall of Fame material there

My story (long story short): Ex-BFF and her SO introduced now-DH and I. 4 months later, we were enagaged. Told ex-BFF, she had NOTHING to say about the ring OR the upcoming wedding, but did tell me she was not coming to it (she and I worked together). After the wedding, I was leaving to take a job at another company, on my last day, another friend lets me know that the ex-BFF has been going around work telling everyone my ring is SO small, and the marriage will never last.
Needless to say, when we received an invitation several years later to her and the SO''s wedding, there was a big NO on that RSVP...
Here is a quote that I got from someone, it may help put things in perspective for you:
Don''t Take Anything Personally:
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won''t be the victim of needless suffering.
It made a lot of sense to me...
Enjoy your ring and your engagement! Oh yeah, and it took me 8 years to get all the way up to a carat

Lastly, please post pics of that ring!

~Kat

 

[loriken214]

Date: 3/23/2009 1:08:38 PM
Author: asscher<3
Thanks everyone for all your comments. It did make me feel better that others have experienced similar things. I''m one of the first of the immediate people to get engaged.

I will post pics sometime soon. Thank you for all the support. And just to reiterate for those that seem to misunderstand me - I did not want a carat, I did not ask for a carat & I would have been just as happy with smaller. I was just showing my response to people taking jabs at my ring- a carat is not small period and smaller rings are just as beautiful as the big ones.

I just wanted people (like my best friend) to be happy for me and if they gushed over the ring it would be a bonus but just to be happy or silent. Not actually say bad things to me.

Thanks for all the responses once again and for those who understood what I was trying to say.

Asscher<3,

You don''t need to defend yourself or explain yourself here again. Most of us understood what happened and am sorry for your BEST FRIEND''S reaction to the awesome ring that your FI CHOSE for you. We''re not here to judge you and your ring....we''re here to offer our opinion on why your friend reacted the way she did.

My first engagement ring was .40 and I got lots of smirks from so-called friends. One even grabbed my hand and put it in the face of another friend and said "look, Lori''s engaged" and they all started laughing. DH and I were in college and couldn''t afford anything else at the time. I was SO proud of that ring even though my friends were making fun of it. It hurt at the time, but I''d give anything to have that ring now. We ended up trading it in years later.

Enjoy your engagement....it only lasts for a short while! When someone comments on your ring, say "didn''t he do a wonderful job....I love it." That will shut them up.

Hugs,
Lori

 

[loriken214]

Date: 3/23/2009 12:20:21 PM
Author: decodelighted
What you need is a solid retort ... here''s the only one I could think of.

GREEN-EYED HO: You know your ring is the smallest at law school!
YOU: Well you know what they say ... Big rocks compensate for small c*cks.

And if not, there is always deco''s reply........

Lori

 

[Princess Sparkles]

Haha Deco, you crack me up!!! It would be worth hearing those lame comments from the law girls just to see their reaction to that comeback!! Priceless

Don''t let your girlfriends lack of excitement upset you. I know how you must be feeling, this is the happiest time of your life, you''re excited and you expect that your loved ones will share in the excitement with you. Unfortunately, loved ones are often the ones that try to compete and fail miserably in their attempts to hide or cover their jealousy. Her blase and "I don''t care about jewellery" attitude is her feeble attempt to cover how insanely jealous she is of you and your fiance''s happiness.

Here in Australia, it''s extremely rare to see any girl sporting a 1 carat rock on her finger (Aussie girls, am I right? ) .5 carat E-Rings are much more the "norm" here however if you are like me and unfortunate enough to have a size 9.5 ring finger anything under a 1.0ct would visually disappear! *damn those sausage fingers!*

Anyhow, because I have such large fingers, my E-Ring has a 1.01 ct centre but also has a halo and split shanks for maximum fat finger coverage I haven''t got it yet, it''s currently being made by our jeweler and I''m not allowed to know anything more until the "semi-surprise" proposal! We haven''t discussed any details of the ring with anyone except my mum, all that has been said is that my bf is having it made.

My soon-to-be sister in law was showing us her teeny tiny e-ring and I was saying how beautiful it is and how excited we are for them and how nice it looks on her....you know, all the "nice" things you are supposed to say, when she turns to me and says "it cost $500 from a chain store, I wouldn''t have let him spend anymore than that, people who do that are so materialistic, it''s such a waste of money"

I managed to force a weak smile......

In the car, on our way home my bf mentions her not so subtle comment to us and my reply was - people who say things like that are the ones who are trying to cover their severe disappointment with their own ring/proposal.

Melissa, I''m with you, my bf and I have been together almost 7 years, we have a 2 year old daughter together and already have the mortgage. We wanted a quality hand made ring not a chain store cast ring, we want it to be worn every day, for the rest of my life and to stand the test of time, to be passed on to our daughter and to our grandchildren. That''s our choice, we don''t rub it in peoples faces, we don''t discuss it OR the cost with anyone, we are getting what we want for our own personal and sentimental reasons. It''s the nasty comments from people who are supposedly our nearest and dearest that often hurt the most.....don''t let it get to you, in my situation I''m convinced it''s pure jealousy, the same most probably applies to yours.

So.....

when do we get to see some sparkly pics?

 

[glitterazzi]

I feel your pain... and I''m sorry. No bride deserves to have her joy crushed. My BFF is dragging me down with her game of "keeping up with the Jones''"... She is more into the drag me down because she can''t keep up. And I don''t want to race.

I hope you can find your way to be happy and really enjoy this time in your life. It''s short, and it''s supposed to be sweet. So savor it, and to hell with anyone who tries to take this joy from you.

 

[Haven]

asscher--it sounds like your best friend isn''t really doing a great job of being a friend, right now. Whatever the reason, I understand your disappointment. However, I wouldn''t let her reaction, or anyone else''s for that matter, put a damper on the very exciting time that you should be having right now.

I won''t pretend to know why people say mean or hurtful things. All I know is that I won''t allow anyone to ruin my own happiness, so I just don''t worry too much about their motives, or what they think.

Oh, and I really hope you try out Deco''s retort. That is priceless. Definitely hall of fame material there, Deco. Definitely!

 

[pocahontas]

Date: 3/23/2009 12:20:21 PM
Author: decodelighted
What you need is a solid retort ... here''s the only one I could think of.

GREEN-EYED HO: You know your ring is the smallest at law school!
YOU: Well you know what they say ... Big rocks compensate for small c*cks.

OMG, I so wasn''t expecting this

Deco, thanks to you I had to wipe diet pepsi off my laptop - LOVE this response!

 

[LaraOnline]

I also wanted to lend my support. Engagement and marriage are huge life-changing events, and it is natural, really for some of the people closest to you - friends, sisters, even mothers or other loved ones - to feel ''pushed'' in some way by the happiness and change that they see you are experiencing.

try not to dwell on it, it IS disappointing for you, but your friend has her own issues, and she may well be trying her best to cope with the challenge of your moving on and upwards, while she (as she perceives it) struggles on.

I have to agree with NeverEndingUpgrade, and the other ladies, also. To receive a full carat at the beginning of your engagement is wonderful, and really generous and loving on behalf of your fiance. However, expectations on diamonds seem to be cultural (hey, perhaps it''s a law school thang!), and many wonderful women in fulfilling and productive marriages NEVER experience the pleasure of seeing, let alone wearing, a full carat diamond.

 

[chiquitapet]

I love deco''s retort!! I`d better not let my husband see that one, or I`m not getting an upgrade ever.

I just want to say, that 1 carat is a perfect size. Actually, that`s the size I want to upgrade to. And as said by lots posters before me, it is an issue of your ''friends/collegues'' due to their jealousy and envy, rather than anything to do with you or your ring. So everytime you hear a nasty remark, just think about how much that girl envies the relationship you have with your fiance and how lucky you are.

 

[supergirl10]

i just had to chime in as well and say how sorry i am for your friends being nasty. I also experienced something similar with my three best friends:
bff1 - oh ... its nice ... dimanond is bigger than my mums (WTF)
bff2 - oh ... its um ... pretty ... is it half a carrat or what (again WTF)
Bff - ohh it is really pretty (she i half believed)

What a bunch of bitches ... honestly i think it was jelousy esp with number 2. Bff 2 has been obessing over engagement rings since two months into her relationship and is really really pressuring her guy. Bff 1 thinks she is jelous of me and is trying to catch up. Sad really when the people who are suppose to be the happiest don''t even care.

I also had to chime in and agree with princess sparkles. 1crt is quite rare in Australia. Especially since i am in a smaller regional area my .50 is probably bigger than 70% of people!

 

[hawaiianorangetree]

I don''t really have anything new to say but i do agree alot with what others have said... people who say stuff are jealous! and there is always going to be someone who says SOMETHING! whether it be too big, too small, whatever...

My Aunty told me last week that my f coloured one carat Ex, Ex, Ex, diamond was small and crappy (we are in Australia and i thought a carat was decent!)... but this was coming from a lady who''s 3 carat diamond had more visible clouds than the sky!!

(Not that i said anything of course!!!)

So don''t worry about it, keep your head held high and be proud of what you have!!

And at risk of sounding like a broken record... where are the pics?? We will tell you how beautiful it is!!!!