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Engagement Ring Budget - 150K salary, in Silicon Valley

T

TJK

Rough_Rock
Joined
Apr 20, 2010
Messages
7
Hi,

I''m sure there''s been similar threads before, but the search is unfortunately broken currently
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Also, I wanted to get a little specific. I think I have set my budget in what I think is reasonable, but wanted to get some other input.

I make about 150K a year in Silicon Valley (California). Yes, I am fortunate that I have a job that pays decently well, and I am about to buy an engagement ring - but I wanted to see whether it''s a reasonable budget or not.

If I take the 2 month rule, then gross I should spend about $25K. If it''s net(after taxes), then it will be about half of that $15K. Since I don''t know better, I plan on spending about 15K-20K right now.

I''m pretty sure my GF will be more than happy with the ring, but then, there''s peer pressure (parents, relative, friends).


I know there''s no right or wrong answer to this - I wanted to hear your opinions. If you''re a girl living in similar condition (e.g. New York) and your BF makes about 150K, would you be happy with a 1.6-1.7 carat ring (G, VS1, good cut)? What do you think your other female friends say? If you''re a guy, would you have a similar budget, or would you go higher (or lower)?
 
I would be happy with whatever my SO felt comfortable spending. Seriously.

I don't get into the whole "x months" salary as that is really a marketing deal rather than a "reality" deal. If you don't even have two months of savings, what is the point in spending two months on a ring? Only you (and your FF) know the intricacies of your income, expenses, future financial goals and so on. If 20K works for you, then it works for you. Now if you spent $500 on her ring and then spent $20k on a new sound system for your house, I might wonder....but I don't think this falls into that at all!

At the time DH and I were engaged, he had recently taken early retirement from the military where he had been making about $80K. As we did not know how finances would play out for a while (relying on my income) we skipped the engagement ring altogether. I was happy with that.
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I bought my own ring after we were married with my tax return (a small amount spent compared to many rings here though I have a good job...just fits with my lifestyle and current circumstances). I of course am not saying don't get her anything...you obviously both find a ring to be important...just saying that you need to do what works for you both...screw everyone else.

I do believe in NY the "average" size is skewed above the rest of most of the US (I am not in the US) but still, go with what is comfortable. I would also go for an excellent/ideal cut over "good cut" even if it means a smaller carat weight. An excellent/ideal cut will generally SHOW UP larger.
 
We were living in NY when we got engaged and there are large rings, small rings and rings in between. I think you should buy whatever you feel comfortable buying and what you think your GF might like. My DH did not have a budget. When he purchased my diamond he was looking for a specific size diamond that he thought would look good on my hand at the time which ended up being 7mm in size.
 
Yes, I think a diamond around 1.7 would be a great size, however, rather than good cut, aim for ideal cut!

Since you have a generous budget, look for a superb setting to set the stone in.

Good luck!
 
Despite my being a ghetto dweller here (and with many posts), and not particularly drawing on any such experience, but just one guy to another...that sounds right to me...
 
I know this isn''t the answer you were probably seeking. However, I don''t think that you should should feel restrained or restricted to a specific percentage of your annual income. With your budget you could go in a dozen different directions. Ultimately, you should buy what your heart tells you to buy. Don''t worry so much about the expectations of other people.

I recommend going into a local reputable jeweler to get an idea for style, carat weight, color, clarity, etc. Specifically ask to see the difference in an "ideally" cut diamond versus a "good" cut diamond. Once you get an idea for what you like, come back to Pricescope and we can help you fine tune the decision if you need help.

I hope this helps.
 
Aw, congratulations on your upcoming engagement. I think you''re putting alot of pressure on yourself in terms of what other people expect, but I get it! When my husband and I got engaged a few years ago we were both attorneys in Washington DC making six figure salaries and we didn''t go by a certain months rule, instead we focused on what we were both comfortable with. For me that ended up being a ring that was a little over 1 ct total weight. In my circle my ring is at least in the top 10-15%, I would say I sometimes see something in the 1.5-2 ct range, but rarely. Lots of people seem to get family rings which tend to be under 1 ct.

NYC is its own special universe. Attorneys there tend to spend more on fashion and jewelry. For instance when I go to bar classes in NYC I see a couple of Chanel bags and Cartier watches, in DC I rarely see designer goods. I would guess 2 ct is more the average in NYC for attorneys even though the salaries are often comparable. Silicon Valley might be a more flashy place, but you should also think about future other costs, like if you want a downpayment or have other wedding related expenses -- honeymoon for one.

My husband and I tend to be conservative financially. Its never a bad thing to be able to say a couple of years later, wow I could get a bigger ring now and see how far you''ve come. Much better than thinking, oh crap I could have used that cash.
 
TJK - I''m from Silicon Valley too!!! California people are definitely into their rings, but I would say that as long as you''re over the 1 ct. mark you should be fine. How old are you? How old is your gf? What kind of rings do her friends have? I know that my boyfriend has been scoping out other people''s rings for a while just to get a feel for how ours will compare.. Start looking (if you haven''t already started).

The 2 mo. benchmark is an arbitrary amount set by the diamond business so I wouldn''t give it much weight. $150K is an amazing salary, but we both know that six figures doesn''t go quite as far in San Jose.. especially thanks to the additional 9.6% CA income tax and the high cost of living.
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Also, do you have the $15k saved up already? My bf makes a similar income and I know it took him 6 months to save for my ring..

Have you talked to her about expectations? Does she have small fingers? Her dream ring may be well under your budget .. Or you could always tell her your budget then let her run free (that''s what my bf did
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). Regardless, I would say that $15-$20k is more than enough to get the type of ring you''re thinking of. If you have it offhand, GREAT! If not, I think you could rework your budget. NorCal people are definitely not as flashy as our SoCal counterparts..
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I think you should get what she wants
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Do you ahve any ideas from talking to her about this?
 
oh forgot to say that I think for higher incomes you have to think about taxes! I mean the net of something making more money isn''t so great after income + state taxes, so the "rule" thing seems a little ridiculous in my opinion when you break it down into gross income!
 
You sound like a thoughtful guy and the diamond you are thinking of getting is way above the national average. More important than any average though or what the diamond industry thinks you ''should'' spend (they are the ones who come out with the 2 month salary stuff) are you comfortable spending that amount of money? what savings do you have? Do you plan to buy a home? What do homes cost in your area? You will be spending on wedding (expensive) and honeymoon (expensive). Will you have to finance ring or can you pay outright and what will money will be left over.

I know people who have gotten great engagement rings and then there''s nothing else. My DH got me an engagement ring that was nothing near 1 month of his salary (it used to be one month that groom was supposed to spend, back then), and we moved into our own home within a year of marriage. I was happier with that and with the financial security than I would have been with a ring that imprssed my friends to death but left little $$$ for more important things.
 
Keep your budget open but you are certainly on the right track. Joe Escabar in Campbell is a wonderful place to start looking for styles and sizes of stones that you are comfortable with. Their jewelry is beautiful and they do nice custom work. They will have higher prices than online vendors but are worth a visit. Plus their staff is very helpful and will show you everything in the store with no pressure.
 
I hate to be a cynic but why not get a nice reasonable "starter" ring? Kind of like buying a starter home... you never know what lies ahead. I don''t have any clue about your situation but marriage is sometimes fleeting. That way you can save up for 5-10 years while your marriage is solidifying and get a nice big rock for say your 10 year anniversary.

Just a thought...
 
I''d start with ...

a) what size stone does her Mom have?
b) what size stone does your Mom have?
c) what size stones do her married or engaged siblings have?
d) what is the top end & lower end of the range of rings in your social circle?

Though *what you can afford* is the top priority, the other factors will help you gauge the ballpark you want to be in, yanno?

Some folks are oddly competitive in this arena & though I don''t *encourage* that feeling, I''ll admit that it exists.

Also, just curious -- have you considered talking to her about her ideas about engagement rings? Some gals are more sentimental & treasure the idea of surprise, the romance of him picking something out FOR her ... & some are super discerning style-wise about such a personal, worn every day type piece. Do you know which type your lady falls into?
 
This is a different angle, but some shapes are more costly than others. I know Hearts and Arrows Round diamonds are awesome, but they're more expensive than some other shapes.

Some quick links to different shapes in the high one carat to 2 carat... (These aren't recommendations just examples)

1.72 Whiteflash G VS1 fantastic cut 20k

***compared to***

Good Old Gold Cushion 2.063 Carats, G VS2 18k

Good old Good Asscher 1.9carat G VS2 14K

And then, you could throw one of those puppies on a to die for custom Leon Mege.

Of course, make sure that if you're looking at other shapes, that your intended would like it. But if so, you'll have a lot more room for a higher carat weight for the budget.
 
Here is a factor that came into play for me and may very well affect you.

I started by shopping at Local B&M stores. When I *thought* I was comfortable with a particular product and budget I stepped up my research. I soon found out:
I could get a much BETTER and BIGGER diamond for a much cheaper price by using a PS Vendor.

So salary vs budget changes drastically with net/gross but even more so with purchasing power.

One other piece of advice that was beneficial for me.
Give yourself AS MUCH TIME as you can afford to research and buy your diamond/ring.
 
Date: 4/27/2010 5:49:09 PM
Author: missydebby
This is a different angle, but some shapes are more costly than others. I know Hearts and Arrows Round diamonds are awesome, but they''re more expensive than some other shapes.

Some quick links to different shapes in the high one carat to 2 carat... (These aren''t recommendations just examples)

1.72 Whiteflash G VS1 fantastic cut 20k

***compared to***

Good Old Gold Cushion 2.063 Carats, G VS2 18k

Good old Good Asscher 1.9carat G VS2 14K
Click to expand...
Just as an addendum to this, diamonds are roughly priced according to their face up size. The RB in this example is 7.7mm in diameter, the cushion 7.3mm in diameter and the asscher 6.88mm in diameter. So the price of various cuts reflects their face up size as well as the carat weight. When taken into account, you pay "more" for the spread of an asscher/cushion that you do for an RB.
 
What kind of ring does she want? What kinds of rings do her friends wear? (more important than what her mom wears IMO.) Does she have family that will judge you and her for the size of the ring? Demand to know its specs? Any cultural/family factors to consider (ie. stones over 1 ct are ostentatious? color/clarity grades imply 'purity' and less than G will be frowned on my judgy relatives? etc.) Does your girl care if her family judges anything, or her friends, etc. Is she practical with money but would be touched if you splurged on this purchase? Practical and would be HORRIFIED if you spent that kind of money on jewelry? Wants a nice ring but also wants a nice wedding/honeymoon/home downpayment so going 'reasonable' on the ring for your economic situation is the right decision? Etc.

1.7+ ct, G-H color, VS2, EXCELLENT cut, in a nice setting, sounds great! That's me though, I am in your area but in at a lower pay scale just now :)

Also, I have opinions on settings and am happy I had input into mine. Not all women feel this way, some want a romantic *surprise* proposal and aren't picky about the particular ring. But many women do have opinions and would like their stylistic preferences to be taken into consideration. Or maybe they want a big rock, big as can be afforded and reasonable quality, but don't mind if its a J/SI2 stone in an inexpensive setting. Or they are non-blingy in their style and would feel horribly conspicuous walking around with a 2 ct rock and would prefer something smaller in a dainty setting. Some might not want to actually go shopping with you or specify an exact ring, but they know they want X shape of stone and like Y, Z style settings. OR they hand you a couple of pictures and say 'like this'. Or they are like me, think they know what they like from pictures but it changes when they actually try stuff on and are glad they had the opportunity to go shopping with their future husbands for this purchase. Food for thought!
 
My husband was making that approximate salary when we got engaged, and I was hoping for a ring in the 1.5 - 2 ct category (I grew up in NYC and we live in DC, so I am used to my peers having rings in that size range).

DH went with a 2 ct stone, and I''m thrilled, but I would have also been thrilled with a 1.5 ct stone, or anything in between.
 
Haha $150k doesn't go very far in the bay area
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Don't buy by salary, buy by what you're comfortable spending, what she wants, how much you have saved, what your other priorities are, whether you have a house/kids/whatever. What you spend should not be some given percentage of what you earn (don't take that marketing rot to heart)
 
It doesn''t have to be based on salary.
 
no, it doesn''t have to be based on salary...you should spend what you are comfortable spending

...but if my bf had that kind of salary, i would expect a sizable rock
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Date: 4/27/2010 5:43:40 PM
Author: asforhim
I hate to be a cynic but why not get a nice reasonable 'starter' ring? Kind of like buying a starter home... you never know what lies ahead. I don't have any clue about your situation but marriage is sometimes fleeting. That way you can save up for 5-10 years while your marriage is solidifying and get a nice big rock for say your 10 year anniversary.


Just a thought...
Click to expand...

WHAT?!
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Anyway!

Don't go by the 2 month thing, go by what you feel you can afford without going in to debt.

That budget is wonderful. To get the best ring for your money - be sure to follow some of the links for vendors commonly used by folks here - you'll get a stunning ring. What size fingers does she have? That can make a big difference...I know - I have big ol' 8.5 fingers
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spend what you are comfortable spending and get what you think she''ll like. If you let us know your budget and what shape and type of setting she likes we can weigh in with more options if you want...
 
Date: 4/27/2010 8:27:03 PM
Author: waterlilly


Date: 4/27/2010 5:43:40 PM
Author: asforhim
I hate to be a cynic but why not get a nice reasonable 'starter' ring? Kind of like buying a starter home... you never know what lies ahead. I don't have any clue about your situation but marriage is sometimes fleeting. That way you can save up for 5-10 years while your marriage is solidifying and get a nice big rock for say your 10 year anniversary.


Just a thought...
Click to expand...

WHAT?!
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Click to expand...

Okay, this made me laugh. What a cynical view! But I agree we all do it backwards, we should all get plain bands for the engagement, an eternity for the wedding and the solitaire for a big anniversary down the line!



Though I'm not really one to talk, I suppose.
 
You got lots of great advice here. I will just share my personal experience - we both make a comfortable living and just purchased the ring I wanted. I just selected the max specs I wanted for the diamond and who I wanted to make the setting from - then decided what is a reasonable budget for it and tried to hold against it. Luckily, my cap was around 1.5 - 1.7 ct wich high color and clarity given my ring size. I am also pretty partical so I didn''t want to pay a premium for IF since I can''t even see inclusions in most VS1s. Also, I capped my custom setting since I just can''t imagine spending 10K on a setting.
 
I don''t believe in the 2 months salary thing either - I think there are many factors that go into what you''re willing to spend and what she desires to wear :) Do you know your gf''s opinion?
 
Date: 4/27/2010 5:22:30 PM
Author: dreamer_d
I think you should get what she wants
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Do you ahve any ideas from talking to her about this?
Click to expand...
+1
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Please base your decision on what you feel comfortable spending and what she would like, not your salary. Also concentrate on getting the best quality center stone that you can afford within your budget. My husband consulted my best friend for advice on what type of engagement rings I liked, but remembered me saying that I wouldn''t feel comfortable wearing a huge stone. I ended up with a ring that I loved with a gorgeous 0.93 G VS2 stone. I absolutely love my ring and think about how much thought and consideration he put into buying it, not how much he paid for it, when I look at. I''ve seen men try to prove something their friends and family with the price and size of the ring instead of focusing on their future fiance.
 
Anyone who would look down on a 1.7 ct ring is not someone whose opinion is worth considering.
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