Engagement Ring Budget - 150K salary, in Silicon Valley

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 4/27/2010 8:31:04 PM
Author: yssie

Date: 4/27/2010 8:27:03 PM
Author: waterlilly

Date: 4/27/2010 5:43:40 PM
Author: asforhim
I hate to be a cynic but why not get a nice reasonable ''starter'' ring? Kind of like buying a starter home... you never know what lies ahead. I don''t have any clue about your situation but marriage is sometimes fleeting. That way you can save up for 5-10 years while your marriage is solidifying and get a nice big rock for say your 10 year anniversary.


Just a thought...

WHAT?!

Okay, this made me laugh. What a cynical view! But I agree we all do it backwards, we should all get plain bands for the engagement, an eternity for the wedding and the solitaire for a big anniversary down the line!



Though I''m not really one to talk, I suppose.

You get the starter ring for the starter wife

 

[IceExplorer]

There are many people chiming in suggesting to find out what ''she wants''...

I agree to a certain extent however, if she is more of ''surprise'' and ''I love how much work and effort your put into it'' kind of girl, don''t discount that.

As much as my fiance LOVES HER RING...it touches her heart more that it was a custom design by me and Brian at BGD. Further to that, she is loves that her proposal was romantic, thoughtful and a total surprise, which made it more romantic and thoughtful.

I basically knew she wanted a round brilliant. After that, I moved forward and put the best I could together.

Some women like size, some a particular cut, some like certain settings etc... Follow your heart to give YOUR LADY what YOU think she would appreciate the most. As many suggested, it''s not about salary as much as it''s about getting her something you both are comfortable with. Which would be as Dancing Fire says: it is always harder to find a "mind clean" stone

Good luck!

 

[cemrn]

Date: 4/27/2010 10:05:31 PM
Author: Imdanny
Anyone who would look down on a 1.7 ct ring is not someone whose opinion is worth considering.

totally agree with this

 

[joxxxelyn]

I don''t know. I wouldn''t personally use the salary as a gauge. We spent about 3 weeks of his salary. What I wanted was well within budget. I feel like you should talk to her about it some more and just be honest. Even though he makes enough for us to have afforded something more, neither of us wanted that. I think it''s important to come to a conclusion together about the budget, like you''ll be doing with every other major (and even minor) purchase in your lives.

 

[dawnabee]

I think you got some good feedback here!

I live about 10 mins from NYC so people here in their self righteous suburbia do tend to look at how big the rock is compared to theirs and debate it accordingly lol I am a little more humble but tend to go with the flow of things and who wants to complain if they get a beautiful ring! I think you are on the right track to go within the 1.5-2 carat range and the budget between 15-20K. I wouldnt advise spending what you dont have saved for it though. I know many people who aren''t as well off in my area that have done this to meet social standards (which I find ridiculous) but hey its their life. I definately would scope out friends/family members rings or opinions if you don''t want to ask your girl directly.

Good luck on your hunt

 

[axiochris]

2 months? I thought it was 3 months. Damn girls in LA and their brain washing!

 

[lightningbug]

Our Bay Area friends who have salaries in your ballpark and live in Palo Alto, Menlo Park, Los Gatos, Mill Valley, and the Berkeley/Oakland Hills have rings between 1.5 and 2 carats. I don''t know what their husbands spent. The diamonds are round brilliants and very well cut.

(Of course, there are plenty of Bay Area women who want NOTHING to do with diamonds, so this is really about what your girlfriend values! But for purely ''social expectation,'' you seem to be right in the size ballpark.)

 

[curiousmind]

I think you got lots of great advice already, but just want to share my personal experience.

I also live in the Bay Area and my DH made around the same amount of money when he proposed to me. He did spend close to 2 month gross salary on the e-ring (well, he didn''t know about PS and he went to Tiffany). He pretty much spent all his savings on the e-ring! I love the ring (despite the fact that I know it would be half the price somewhere else). Till this day, I still look at my ring many times a day and it still makes me smile. My DH actually thinks that it''s great value because it makes me happy for so long (more than 10 years)!

My e-ring is E VVS1 ideal cut. As to e-ring stone, I personally would like a colorless stone for my e-ring (F would be the lowest) unless I cannot see the side of the stone in a particular setting. If I could choose again, I would go for a larger VS1 instead of VVS1 because I cannot see the difference. Hope this helps.

 

[Lorelei]

Date: 4/27/2010 5:45:33 PM
Author: decodelighted
I''d start with ...

a) what size stone does her Mom have?
b) what size stone does your Mom have?
c) what size stones do her married or engaged siblings have?
d) what is the top end & lower end of the range of rings in your social circle?

Though *what you can afford* is the top priority, the other factors will help you gauge the ballpark you want to be in, yanno?

Some folks are oddly competitive in this arena & though I don''t *encourage* that feeling, I''ll admit that it exists.

Also, just curious -- have you considered talking to her about her ideas about engagement rings? Some gals are more sentimental & treasure the idea of surprise, the romance of him picking something out FOR her ... & some are super discerning style-wise about such a personal, worn every day type piece. Do you know which type your lady falls into?

Great advice!!!!

 

[TotalNewbie]

To TJK,

When you say your GF lives in NY, do you specifically mean NYC, or do you mean non-NYC (like upstate NY or something). THERE IS A LOT OF RING PRESSURE IN NYC CIRCLES. Expedially if she works in law, finance, or "glamour" professions for women (a fashion magazine, Sotheby's/Christie's or other auction houses, high-power ad agency or PR agency, or at a top modeling agency). And if it's NYC, does she belong to the young charity circles (young donor groups, like the Apollo Circle of the Metropolitan Museum, Frick Collection, or any group that donates to the arts -- you would know if she does b/c you would have gone to the black tie events or she would have mentioned them). If she does NOT, then I simply agree with the other posters. If she DOES, that is another story with rings and what is acceptable and what is not and yes there is a LOT of judgment and the standards or what is acceptable is different than just about anywhere else in the world other than Hong Kong (where it's starting to get equally snooty). Specifically with stone size and the designer of the setting. I'll await your answer because any advice I have applies only if she is in NYC and only if she is in the young donor circles or a glamour profession.

(Obviously I live in NYC).

 

[elle_chris]

Like others have already said, find out what she likes first, then decide. Go window shopping to see what she''s drawn to.

TotalNewbie- I''m also from nyc (manhattan), and i disagree with your statement. I think regardless of what field she''s in, size varies even among top earners. In fact, many women don''t even wear their e-rings. I''ve been one of the them lately. The one thing I find interesting in this city, is that you''ll be judged quicker by what you''re wearing, rather than the size of your diamonds.

 

[blingasaurus]

Hi...

Another Bay Area girl here, similar situation. I would say that the rings I see among my friends in your income bracket vary WIDELY. What matters most is that you two are on the same page about this. I would take the following things into account:

1) Your overall financial position. What are your financial goals in the near future? Will you be buying a house or starting a family soon? Do you anticipate that you will have significant wedding expenses? Is your job pretty secure? Do you have this amount already saved up?

2) What do you both value/enjoy and where does jewelry rank on that list? For example, a great trip somewhere or a contribution to a cause that matters to me would mean more to me than that same amount invested in a ring. However, if you asked me if I would put some amount of $ towards a ring or a getting a nicer car than my current vehicle, I might choose the ring. For other couples, that might be very different.

3) How much you both care about the opinions of others and how much your circle may judge you on the ring. In some circles/cultures, this may matter more than others and some people are more attuned than others to social pressures.

4) Lifestyle. For example, one of my friends is a doctor and her boyfriend is in a very hot startup, so $ is not an issue. But she specifically told him that she would not be wearing the e-ring to work after the wedding, just the band so they are spending far less than two months of his salary on the ring, despite their financial position. Another friend is very athletic, outdoorsy so she too plans to wear her e-ring on occasion and will wear her wedding band alone 90% of the time. Many in my circle are also concerned about the social/environmental impact of the diamond industry and are exploring alternatives.

5) Her taste and style. Does her overall look and specifically preferences in jewelry lean toward bold or understated?

6) Ring size. Is the size of the diamond you are considering proportionate to her hand?

So, I think there is a lot more that goes into the budget decision beyond De Beers arbitary 2 mo salary mandate. I think overall most women would be thrilled with what you are considering and you''ll find Pricescope to be an awesome resource to maximize you budget. Good luck!

 

[Mahogany Jewel]

I think you summed it up perfectly blingasaurus!

 

[LtlFirecracker]

So me and my FI are from CA, and he makes over 100k. Here is what he would say to you if he posted on PS

1) "There are things worth taking a loan out for (house, car), jewelry is not one of them. Buy what you can afford to pay right now." I had to wait a while for my e-ring, but he was able to pay for it in cash. It give me piece of mind that there is not a credit card bill to deal with. He blew off the 2 month salary rule as a marketing ploy. It is in a temp setting, but after it is finally set, my ring will be a couple thousand less than the lower end of your budget.

2) "Buy what she wants, and what looks good on her." He knew I wanted a high color/clarity ideal cut round brilliant, he actually bought me a bigger stone than planned because that is what he thought looked best on me.

3) "don''t worry about what other''s think, only our opinion matters."

Also, I went to SF shortly after being engaged. I have a diamond that is just over 1 ct. I felt like there were a lot of rings that were bigger than mine. Where I live (small town TX) my ring is huge.

I think 1.5 - 1.7 ct is a very nice size, a G would be a safe choice for color (looks white to most people, a little lower priced than the colorless range), and a clarity range from VS to an eyeclean SI1. It depends on how picky she is and how good her eyesight is.

It also depends on the type of setting she wants. Settings come in lots of different price ranges.

Hope this helps

 

[Gypsy]

I agree with blingasaurus (great nickname btw). The answer is really that it depends. I live in the bay area and 150K doesn''t get you that far out here. But, on paper it does look good and most women I know, whether or not they admit it, would think about how much their SO makes when deciding on what they want in a ring. Not that it is THE deciding factor. But it is usually A deciding factor. Of course, what SHE makes is also a factor too. If 150K is your combined salary (she''s in school, a stay at home mom, etc) then that''s a different matter than if she also makes six figures. Because it will impact your total incomes when it comes to buying a house, planning a wedding, etc.

Do you have student loans, are you guys younger or older? Is this a first marriage? There are so many other factors.

I will say that a 1.7 carat diamond is going to please MOST women, but not all women. For some it will be too big, for others it may be a ''starter'' ring.

I suggest you take her shopping, or talk to her mother/sister/best friend to find out what she''s thinking and then weigh all the factors mentioned and come up with a budget that works for you... then we''ll help you find the right ring for that budget.

 

[oranges]

that is a very generous budget! 15-20K is a lot of money, no matter where you are. any woman should be delighted to be getting engaged to the man of her dreams. getting a 1.7 carat engagement ring would just be icing on the cake!

 

[CBL]

I think Blingasaurus said it all just right. More simply--in my mind, if you can afford 1.5-1.7 carats outright, you will have a VERY happy fiance. For some reason, to me, that is just the perfect size! It''s blingy but not ostentatious, especially where you reside.