etiquette question

[MINE!!]

Date: 11/19/2006 4:47:44 PM
Author: hlmr

Date: 11/19/2006 2:07:11 PM

Author: MINE!!

I remember seeing a college kid driving past a funeral caravan. My husband, being Canadian, did not understand when I yelled at the kid and said ''What the Heck are you do doing!@!!!!!'' Not until someone in the line rolled down her window and thanked me.

Why wouldn''t your husband understand that it is rude to pass a funeral caravan because he is Canadian?

Cultural differences. He told his freinds the story like it was an oddity as well, they all were confused as to why someone would pull over when a funreal caravan was going in the other direction. He said that he had found, from his experience living throughout Canada and the North that it was not something that was done.

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 11/19/2006 12:29:19 PM
Author: Mara
lol mine i don''t know if i agree re: it giving us ladies more ''power'' to have the MEN do things for us. (that sounds like it could be a can of worms with mentioning power and men in the same sentence to an impressionable young female mind) i am more like your daughter. i could care less if a man opens a door or pulls a chair. i can do it myself so it''s typically the last thing on my mind. greg does it for me because that''s how he was raised, and it''s fine but i never expect it. i also don''t need to be taken care of by a man or relish having power over a man...i loved being independent and doing it on my own.

the whole groceries thing made me laugh. i HATE having people help me to my car with groceries. unless i am a total invalid, i can do it myself!! why would i take the time out of someone''s busy day when they could be helping someone else, to help fully physically able me to the car? i know it''s tough to push the cart all by my little wee self, but i somehow manage.

it is a particular power to be taken care of and catered to - a luxury.... and so long as you are not expected to relinquish the power of your opinion.... why not?

 

[decodelighted]

IMO ... the RUDE part was ASKING for a thank you -- by attempting to SHAME others into "proper appreciation" by offering the unprompted & sarcastic "You''re welcome!"

Maybe they''re general a-holes. Or maybe they''re DUMB a-holes who momentarily forgot they''d entered through an automatic door & therefore weren''t due their "thanks".

 

[hlmr]

Date: 11/19/2006 5:01:11 PM
Author: MINE!!

Date: 11/19/2006 4:47:44 PM
Author: hlmr

Date: 11/19/2006 2:07:11 PM

Author: MINE!!

I remember seeing a college kid driving past a funeral caravan. My husband, being Canadian, did not understand when I yelled at the kid and said ''What the Heck are you do doing!@!!!!!'' Not until someone in the line rolled down her window and thanked me.

Why wouldn''t your husband understand that it is rude to pass a funeral caravan because he is Canadian?

Cultural differences. He told his freinds the story like it was an oddity as well, they all were confused as to why someone would pull over when a funreal caravan was going in the other direction. He said that he had found, from his experience living throughout Canada and the North that it was not something that was done.

Really? Very strange. I have lived all across Canada and everyone almost always pulls over, in respect, for a funeral caravan. The only exception might be in a big city. I''m sure you would find the same exception in a large US city as well.

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 11/19/2006 2:07:11 PM
Author: MINE!!
I remember seeing a college kid driving past a funeral caravan. My husband, being Canadian, did not understand when I yelled at the kid and said ''What the Heck are you do doing!@!!!!!'' Not until someone in the line rolled down her window and thanked me.

ignorance and deliberate rudeness look the same to an outsider... I remember pulling INTO a funeral procession when I was oh, 17? 18? and being honked at and then thinking how rude those peole were (didn''t realize it was a funeral procession yet) and wondered why the hell they were so freaking slow.... and when the road split into two lanes I got out of the line, sped up, and wondered why everyone was giving me dirty looks, until I got up to the hearse and it all clicked together in my head. No one ever TOLD me about it, but I quickly put the facts together in my head... well by that time I was embarrassed so I just sped up ahead and left the procession behind.... WHOOOPS!!!

 

[marvel]

Date: 11/19/2006 5:06:37 PM
Author: decodelighted
IMO ... the RUDE part was ASKING for a thank you -- by attempting to SHAME others into 'proper appreciation' by offering the unprompted & sarcastic 'You're welcome!'

Maybe they're general a-holes. Or maybe they're DUMB a-holes who momentarily forgot they'd entered through an automatic door & therefore weren't due their 'thanks'.

Exactly!! What's the matter with people? I think people who make snide comments like that are having a bad and take it out on strangers. It's them, not you, LK.

Revised to edit all my typos...and I suppose you owe me a thank you for that

 

[marvel]

Date: 11/19/2006 5:14:44 PM
Author: Cehrabehra

Date: 11/19/2006 2:07:11 PM
Author: MINE!!
I remember seeing a college kid driving past a funeral caravan. My husband, being Canadian, did not understand when I yelled at the kid and said ''What the Heck are you do doing!@!!!!!'' Not until someone in the line rolled down her window and thanked me.

ignorance and deliberate rudeness look the same to an outsider... I remember pulling INTO a funeral procession when I was oh, 17? 18? and being honked at and then thinking how rude those peole were (didn''t realize it was a funeral procession yet) and wondered why the hell they were so freaking slow.... and when the road split into two lanes I got out of the line, sped up, and wondered why everyone was giving me dirty looks, until I got up to the hearse and it all clicked together in my head. No one ever TOLD me about it, but I quickly put the facts together in my head... well by that time I was embarrassed so I just sped up ahead and left the procession behind.... WHOOOPS!!!

LOL...funny story and great example, Cehrabehra

 

[MINE!!]

hmmm.. that is interesting and strange hmlr.. very strange...hmmm.. perhaps you love in a "southern" canada.. hmm

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I have a confession to make. About a month ago it was raining and my sister was visiting and we were driving to a mall. The person behind me had their hazards on and I thought it was strange but then again charlotte drivers ARE strange. Then I noticed the person in front of me had theirs on (this was a major highway BTW) To make a long story short I realized (we both did at the same time) I was in the middle of a funeral procession. I felt HORRIBLE. But their didn''t have the black flags they usually do or an escort. Oh well....

About the automatic door those people are CRAZY! They are the rude ones. I cannot believe they think that they helped you out in any way. The sensor would have noticed and reacted to you as well. Next time it happens ask they why they think they deserve a thank you.

 

[sumbride]

This summer I was getting on the highway (I-95) and there was a funeral procession in the far right lane at the exact moment I needed to enter the lane! I knew it was a funeral procession, but it also being a major highway, I didn''t know what I was supposed to do. I couldn''t very well pull over! So I quickly merged and changed lanes to get out of it but the whole time I was thinking, "What am I supposed to do here?"

 

[codex57]

Wait, what''s the etiquette on funeral processions? I''ve only seen a small handful of them. At least two times, they had TONS of cars and drove for miles on the freeway. This was down in Los Angeles. So, even if it''s rude, I''m sorry, but there''s no way you can block that much real estate on a SoCal freeway and not expect people to cut in and out of the line as if they were regular traffic.

 

[cutes814]

I''m just curious to know why those people thought they needed to be thanked for triggering the sensor that opened the door?

That confuses me.

 

[Mara]

Date: 11/19/2006 5:06:09 PM
Author: Cehrabehra

Date: 11/19/2006 12:29:19 PM
Author: Mara
lol mine i don''t know if i agree re: it giving us ladies more ''power'' to have the MEN do things for us. (that sounds like it could be a can of worms with mentioning power and men in the same sentence to an impressionable young female mind) i am more like your daughter. i could care less if a man opens a door or pulls a chair. i can do it myself so it''s typically the last thing on my mind. greg does it for me because that''s how he was raised, and it''s fine but i never expect it. i also don''t need to be taken care of by a man or relish having power over a man...i loved being independent and doing it on my own.

the whole groceries thing made me laugh. i HATE having people help me to my car with groceries. unless i am a total invalid, i can do it myself!! why would i take the time out of someone''s busy day when they could be helping someone else, to help fully physically able me to the car? i know it''s tough to push the cart all by my little wee self, but i somehow manage.

it is a particular power to be taken care of and catered to - a luxury.... and so long as you are not expected to relinquish the power of your opinion.... why not?

i don''t think i agree that it''s a power to be taken care of and catered to. a luxury does not equal a power in my opinion. i guess i view a power as actually DOING something, like a superhero.

 

[hlmr]

Date: 11/19/2006 6:16:01 PM
Author: MINE!!
hmmm.. that is interesting and strange hmlr.. very strange...hmmm.. perhaps you love in a ''southern'' canada.. hmm

Well, as a matter of fact, I do!

 

[Kaleigh]

This is funny. We were out to dinner tonight, and were outside waiting for the valet guy to bring the car around. I saw an elderly gentleman struggling to open the door to exit the restuarant. I went to help him, and he said thank you so much, it''s rare to see people with nice manners these days. I just smiled, his wife came through the door and said, we really appreciate your help. It wasn''t necessary to be thanked, for such a simple act, but made me think of this thread. I wished them a good evening as they got into their car. Bless their hearts. They were so cute, reminded me of my granparents.

]

 

[Kim N]

Date: 11/19/2006 2:25:16 PM
Author: codex57
I would have pointedly looked at them, paused, then looked up at the sensor and said ''thank you'' to the sensor. That''s retarded. Ok, they''re retarded. It''s one thing to hold the door open for someone. It''s another to expect gratitude for being ahead of someone. You don''t do squat when you trigger an automatic door.

Love that response, codex!

 

[JenStone]

I''ve never heard of anything like this before and I can''t understand how it happened to you twice! Automatic doors are just that - AUTOMATIC...and people shouldn''t expect to be thanked for walking in front of it.

This reminds me of what happened this weekend at the grocery store. It was PACKED with everyone shopping for Thanksgiving. The lady in front of me was walking and the back of her heel hit the bottom of my grocery cart. She turned around, gave me a nasty look, and said, "Excuse you!" and huffed off. I said I was sorry, but I was so confused about what happened - there were people bumping into me left and right because it was so crowded in there. What had I done wrong?

 

[ladykemma]

were you movng at the time?

 

[JenStone]

No I wasn''t. That''s why I was so confused!

 

[Molly1024]

Date: 11/20/2006 12:51:14 PM
Author: JenStone
I''ve never heard of anything like this before and I can''t understand how it happened to you twice! Automatic doors are just that - AUTOMATIC...and people shouldn''t expect to be thanked for walking in front of it.


This reminds me of what happened this weekend at the grocery store. It was PACKED with everyone shopping for Thanksgiving. The lady in front of me was walking and the back of her heel hit the bottom of my grocery cart. She turned around, gave me a nasty look, and said, ''Excuse you!'' and huffed off. I said I was sorry, but I was so confused about what happened - there were people bumping into me left and right because it was so crowded in there. What had I done wrong?

I know how you feel- a few months ago I was in Target and I saw two of my friends. I went over to talk to them, standing out of the way of aisle when a lady walked into me- like bam, right into my right side, with enough force to make me stumble a little bit, and then turned around & gave me a dirty look. Excuse me, I was standing still and out of the way- you ran your self into me.

 

[TCBug]

I was standing in line at the grocery check out in Westport, CT 12 years ago (when we lived here before the recent move back) and a little old lady BASHED her cart into mine, making mine SKID out of a very long line. She smiled (sneereed?) at me and took my place. She kinda looked like my grandma. So, I simply accepted the place in lin BEHIND her that the nice man IN BACK OF ME offered. Should I have throttled her instead?


(Edited to add: Ladykemma -- I see you think I'm new to "Nu york ciddy." (See "Sweet Spot" post in Diamond Hangout.) Well. . . um. . . no. I'm not a hick from the sticks. I lived in Cleveland, OH until I went to college in Durham, NC and then I lived in the NYC area from 1990 to 1994. I went to law school in NY and most our our law and "B" school friends are from here. I moved back here after a 12-year stint practicing law in the midwest. So really, your turn of phrase about "nu youk ciddy" is OH SO VERY CLEVER but it doesn't apply to me so much. (Can you tell you touched a raw nerve?)

I'm just a good midwestern girl (don't read "hick"

who doesn't tell people to F*ck off so easilyl

 

[ladykemma]

Date: 11/20/2006 7:53:28 PM
Author: TCBug
I was standing in line at the grocery check out in Westport, CT 12 years ago (when we lived here before the recent move back) and a little old lady BASHED her cart into mine, making mine SKID out of a very long line. She smiled (sneereed?) at me and took my place. She kinda looked like my grandma. So, I simply accepted the place in lin BEHIND her that the nice man IN BACK OF ME offered. Should I have throttled her instead?


(Edited to add: Ladykemma -- I see you think I'm new to 'Nu york ciddy.' (See 'Sweet Spot' post in Diamond Hangout.) Well. . . um. . . no. I'm not a hick from the sticks. I lived in Cleveland, OH until I went to college in Durham, NC and then I lived in the NYC area from 1990 to 1994. I went to law school in NY and most our our law and 'B' school friends are from here. I moved back here after a 12-year stint practicing law in the midwest. So really, your turn of phrase about 'nu youk ciddy' is OH SO VERY CLEVER but it doesn't apply to me so much. (Can you tell you touched a raw nerve?)

I'm just a good midwestern girl (don't read 'hick'

who doesn't tell people to F*ck off so easilyl

what? i wa making a joke about the pace picante sauce pronunication....

 

[Mara]

Date: 11/20/2006 7:53:28 PM
Author: TCBug

(Edited to add: Ladykemma -- I see you think I''m new to ''Nu york ciddy.'' (See ''Sweet Spot'' post in Diamond Hangout.) Well. . . um. . . no. I''m not a hick from the sticks. I lived in Cleveland, OH until I went to college in Durham, NC and then I lived in the NYC area from 1990 to 1994. I went to law school in NY and most our our law and ''B'' school friends are from here. I moved back here after a 12-year stint practicing law in the midwest. So really, your turn of phrase about ''nu youk ciddy'' is OH SO VERY CLEVER but it doesn''t apply to me so much. (Can you tell you touched a raw nerve?)

I''m just a good midwestern girl (don''t read ''hick''

who doesn''t tell people to F*ck off so easilyl

wow i didn''t get the vibe at all from LK''s post in the other thread. so she thought you were new to NYC, she was mistaken. i don''t see where she called you a ''hick'' or implied anything negative.

surprising response.

 

[Kaleigh]

Sheesh, I didn''t get that from Ladykemma''s post either.

 

[galeteia]

A funeral caravan?? Say whaa?

I''ve been to my share of funerals, and I have never heard of or seen a funeral caravan. In my experience, the pallbearers carry the casket to the hearse, which then takes the deceased away to either the crematorium or the place where they prepare for the burial, while the family holds a sort of wake/reception after the funeral ceremony. Then people meet at the cemetery for the burial. Sometimes the burial is reserved for immediate family members only.

It must be a regional thing.

A funeral processional through the cemetery on foot I understand, but I don''t understand driving slowly on a highway in a long convoy that disrupts traffic. My intention is not to be disrespectful, it''s just not a custom I''m familiar with up here in Canada.

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 11/21/2006 12:44:57 AM
Author: Galateia
A funeral caravan?? Say whaa?

I''ve been to my share of funerals, and I have never heard of or seen a funeral caravan. In my experience, the pallbearers carry the casket to the hearse, which then takes the deceased away to either the crematorium or the place where they prepare for the burial, while the family holds a sort of wake/reception after the funeral ceremony. Then people meet at the cemetery for the burial. Sometimes the burial is reserved for immediate family members only.

It must be a regional thing.

A funeral processional through the cemetery on foot I understand, but I don''t understand driving slowly on a highway in a long convoy that disrupts traffic. My intention is not to be disrespectful, it''s just not a custom I''m familiar with up here in Canada.

Where I live it''s very common if the church doesn''t have a graveyard, after the funeral there is a funeral caravan to the final resting place. The cars usually have magnetic flags, signifying that it''s a funeral caravan. It''s a slow moving processional, but around here, we give them the utmost respect. I live by 3 churches, and often am stuck behind the processional, but don''t mind it a bit and take that time to count my blessings.

 

[galeteia]

Date: 11/21/2006 12:59:12 AM
Author: Kaleigh

Date: 11/21/2006 12:44:57 AM

Author: Galateia

A funeral caravan?? Say whaa?

I''ve been to my share of funerals, and I have never heard of or seen a funeral caravan. In my experience, the pallbearers carry the casket to the hearse, which then takes the deceased away to either the crematorium or the place where they prepare for the burial, while the family holds a sort of wake/reception after the funeral ceremony. Then people meet at the cemetery for the burial. Sometimes the burial is reserved for immediate family members only.


It must be a regional thing.


A funeral processional through the cemetery on foot I understand, but I don''t understand driving slowly on a highway in a long convoy that disrupts traffic. My intention is not to be disrespectful, it''s just not a custom I''m familiar with up here in Canada.

Where I live it''s very common if the church doesn''t have a graveyard, after the funeral there is a funeral caravan to the final resting place. The cars usually have magnetic flags, signifying that it''s a funeral caravan. It''s a slow moving processional, but around here, we give them the utmost respect. I live by 3 churches, and often am stuck behind the processional, but don''t mind it a bit and take that time to count my blessings.

Interesting. I have most certainly never seen that here.

However, hearses in transit are treated with respect and deference (and sympathy), although we don''t pull over for them as we do with ambulances. I don''t mean to imply we do not respect the dead, just that funeral processions via auto are not commonly seen up here.

I am definitely going to have to ask around and see if anyone I know has heard of them. You may have just saved me from a huge gaff! Can you imagine riding with my FILs, commenting on the rudeness of the people driving slowly, totally oblivious to what it meant?! I would be horrified!

 

[hlmr]

Date: 11/21/2006 3:20:42 AM
Author: Galateia

Date: 11/21/2006 12:59:12 AM
Author: Kaleigh

Date: 11/21/2006 12:44:57 AM

Author: Galateia

A funeral caravan?? Say whaa?

I''ve been to my share of funerals, and I have never heard of or seen a funeral caravan. In my experience, the pallbearers carry the casket to the hearse, which then takes the deceased away to either the crematorium or the place where they prepare for the burial, while the family holds a sort of wake/reception after the funeral ceremony. Then people meet at the cemetery for the burial. Sometimes the burial is reserved for immediate family members only.


It must be a regional thing.


A funeral processional through the cemetery on foot I understand, but I don''t understand driving slowly on a highway in a long convoy that disrupts traffic. My intention is not to be disrespectful, it''s just not a custom I''m familiar with up here in Canada.

Where I live it''s very common if the church doesn''t have a graveyard, after the funeral there is a funeral caravan to the final resting place. The cars usually have magnetic flags, signifying that it''s a funeral caravan. It''s a slow moving processional, but around here, we give them the utmost respect. I live by 3 churches, and often am stuck behind the processional, but don''t mind it a bit and take that time to count my blessings.

Interesting. I have most certainly never seen that here.

However, hearses in transit are treated with respect and deference (and sympathy), although we don''t pull over for them as we do with ambulances. I don''t mean to imply we do not respect the dead, just that funeral processions via auto are not commonly seen up here.

I am definitely going to have to ask around and see if anyone I know has heard of them. You may have just saved me from a huge gaff! Can you imagine riding with my FILs, commenting on the rudeness of the people driving slowly, totally oblivious to what it meant?! I would be horrified!

Mine and I were discussing this earlier, as you may have read Gal. I think it must be a regional thing, because in many of the provinces I have lived in, this is done. I don''t think it happens in the larger cities, (imagine this on the 401

), but in any small town I have lived in, it was always done.

 

[hlmr]

Date: 11/21/2006 12:59:12 AM
Author: Kaleigh
Where I live it''s very common if the church doesn''t have a graveyard, after the funeral there is a funeral caravan to the final resting place. The cars usually have magnetic flags, signifying that it''s a funeral caravan. It''s a slow moving processional, but around here, we give them the utmost respect. I live by 3 churches, and often am stuck behind the processional, but don''t mind it a bit and take that time to count my blessings.

That''s totally how I feel too.

 

[Independent Gal]

I grew up in a big city in Canada and I''ve never seen a funeral procession either. So maybe this really is an urban / rural thing!