Fellow LIW - What is your.......

[CaféHummingbird]

I''m sorry if it came off that way, but it''s how I feel about EVERYTHING in life. You don''t get good grades in school, promotions at work or lose weight by just by showing up. You have to work at it.

 

[meresal]

Date: 6/19/2008 12:32:57 PM
Author: ladypirate
Man, I am so jealous of people who live in low-cost areas! I don''t have any debt (bf has about 25K in grad school loans but no car payments or anything) but we want to buy a house in the next 3 years, which will be at least $100K for a down payment and we''ve only saved up about 25K so far. We both make decent incomes, but when you''re looking at trying to save that much, spending 20K on a ring just doesn''t seem right.

Are you serious?!? 100K for a down payment?!? I''m not a homeowner nor do I have a mortgage... but aren''t there also Tax benefits to having house payments. SO''s friends parents just bought another house to rent out, bc they are getting hit really hard with taxes since they officially own their house now. There are good things about paying a house off really quickly, but I tend to believe there are also good things about having a "set" mortgage payment you know you will always make. Am I completely wrong here? Please let me know?

 

[ladypirate]

Date: 6/19/2008 1:42:54 PM
Author: CaféHummingbird
I''m sorry if it came off that way, but it''s how I feel about EVERYTHING in life. You don''t get good grades in school, promotions at work or lose weight by just by showing up. You have to work at it.

That''s very true, but it came across as though you think that those who cannot afford $25K rings (or choose not to) are somehow not working as hard, and I hardly think that''s a fair statement to make. Many people work very hard for what they have--having a 25K ring does not make one person a harder worker than another.

 

[ladypirate]

Date: 6/19/2008 1:48:54 PM
Author: meresal

Date: 6/19/2008 12:32:57 PM
Author: ladypirate
Man, I am so jealous of people who live in low-cost areas! I don't have any debt (bf has about 25K in grad school loans but no car payments or anything) but we want to buy a house in the next 3 years, which will be at least $100K for a down payment and we've only saved up about 25K so far. We both make decent incomes, but when you're looking at trying to save that much, spending 20K on a ring just doesn't seem right.

Are you serious?!? 100K for a down payment?!? I'm not a homeowner nor do I have a mortgage... but aren't there also Tax benefits to having house payments. SO's friends parents just bought another house to rent out, bc they are getting hit really hard with taxes since they officially own their house now. There are good things about paying a house off really quickly, but I tend to believe there are also good things about having a 'set' mortgage payment you know you will always make. Am I completely wrong here? Please let me know?

100K is for the standard 20% down payment--that's assuming a fixed mortgage for 15 or 30 years. Houses run around 500K where we're moving to.

ETA: I wish 100K would buy us a whole house--that'd be awesome! We'd really like to do a full 20% down, though, so we don't get totally slammed with paying interest.

 

[sunnyd]

<-- dummy... meant to hit cancel, not submit...

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Date: 6/19/2008 1:55:56 PM
Author: ladypirate

Date: 6/19/2008 1:48:54 PM
Author: meresal

Date: 6/19/2008 12:32:57 PM
Author: ladypirate
Man, I am so jealous of people who live in low-cost areas! I don''t have any debt (bf has about 25K in grad school loans but no car payments or anything) but we want to buy a house in the next 3 years, which will be at least $100K for a down payment and we''ve only saved up about 25K so far. We both make decent incomes, but when you''re looking at trying to save that much, spending 20K on a ring just doesn''t seem right.

Are you serious?!? 100K for a down payment?!? I''m not a homeowner nor do I have a mortgage... but aren''t there also Tax benefits to having house payments. SO''s friends parents just bought another house to rent out, bc they are getting hit really hard with taxes since they officially own their house now. There are good things about paying a house off really quickly, but I tend to believe there are also good things about having a ''set'' mortgage payment you know you will always make. Am I completely wrong here? Please let me know?

100K is for the standard 20% down payment--that''s assuming a fixed mortgage for 15 or 30 years. Houses run around 500K where we''re moving to.

Ladypirate, I think many women can relate to this--it''s tough to prioritize when you''re sort of starting out in life and there are so many costs to think about. I mean each couple is different so maybe the ring IS the first priority to some. For others, though, things like savings, a house, etc. is more of a priority. Even when you both make six figures, it''s hard to justify spending $25 - $30K on a ring if your first priority is to buy a house and not have to pay a mortgage for 15 - 30 years.

 

[moderatelypoorstudent]

Date: 6/19/2008 1:55:56 PM
Author: ladypirate

Date: 6/19/2008 1:48:54 PM



100K is for the standard 20% down payment--that''s assuming a fixed mortgage for 15 or 30 years. Houses run around 500K where we''re moving to.


ETA: I wish 100K would buy us a whole house--that''d be awesome! We''d really like to do a full 20% down, though, so we don''t get totally slammed with paying interest.

Buying a house is difficult in terms of coming down with a good down payment. Even my parents only went 10% down, so good for you and your SO!

Besides, with all this 25K ring vs 100K down payment for a house business-- just because it''s a desire to have a 25K ring doesn''t mean it''s a priority. I think that''s the category ladypirate falls into, correct me if I''m wrong please

Of course it all takes hard work to save money and make big purchases, but everyone''s situation can be a little different.
A lot of less informed people look at my SO and say: well, he''s a doctor! he can AFFORD THAT!
um... no. My SO is a resident, he makes very little and is burdened with student debt and since med school is 4 years post college, and his residency is 5 years post that: guess how old he is and he still is heavily in debt and making under 50K a year while working 100 hours/week. So although my SO is older than hummingbird, it''s not as though he''s any less hard working because he can''t buy me a 25K ring. See what I mean?

 

[moderatelypoorstudent]

oops -- while I was typing NEL pretty much said it all.
So ditto!

 

[ladypirate]

Thanks, NEL and MPS! It's really nice to hear that other people are in the same boat and/or can relate.

ETA: And you're right, having a $25K ring is definitely not a priority! LOL--if that were the case, I think my priorities would be out of whack! (No offense meant to anyone--I'm sure my obsession with getting a kitchenaid mixer probably means my priorities are a little out of whack anyhow

) Plus, since we've agreed that when we get engaged, SO gets a really nice watch, that tacks on an extra few thousand to whatever we end up spending on my ring.

 

[Anna0499]

Date: 6/19/2008 1:42:54 PM
Author: CaféHummingbird
I'm sorry if it came off that way, but it's how I feel about EVERYTHING in life. You don't get good grades in school, promotions at work or lose weight by just by showing up. You have to work at it.

I took this as if you work hard and save, you might be able to get a better ring than you think, not necessarily a $25k one but a nicer one than you thought you could afford (given a ring is a priority for you). I think that applies to everything though, whether you're trying to buy a ring, house, car, etc. and I didn't take the comment as offensive but I can see how it could've been read that way. I just wish I was in the market for a house right now with prices being so low!!!!!

Sorry to anyone trying to sell their house but I hope they stay that way for the next 5 years or so!

 

[fieryred33143]

Date: 6/19/2008 2:36:27 PM
Author: Anna0499

Date: 6/19/2008 1:42:54 PM
Author: CaféHummingbird
I''m sorry if it came off that way, but it''s how I feel about EVERYTHING in life. You don''t get good grades in school, promotions at work or lose weight by just by showing up. You have to work at it.

I took this as if you work hard and save, you might be able to get a better ring than you think, not necessarily a $25k one but a nicer one than you thought you could afford (given a ring is a priority for you). I think that applies to everything though, whether you''re trying to buy a ring, house, car, etc. and I didn''t take the comment as offensive but I can see how it could''ve been read that way. I just wish I was in the market for a house right now with prices being so low!!!!!

Sorry to anyone trying to sell their house but I hope they stay that way for the next 5 years or so!

Well, in our case we did work hard and we did save. Our hard work and savings just went to things other than a ring...our home and all of the upgrades primarily.

I think engagements should be what they are about...a promise to get married. If that promise comes with a $700 ring or a $25K ring, it doesn''t matter because we''re all headed in the same direction.

I also think that if we were in a different stage in our lives where $25K spent on a ring is not a big deal, then we would def. go with a 25K ring. Who wouldn''t??? But we''re not there and I''m not going to wait for him to save more to marry him.

But if we were in the 6 figure range, I would expect my 25K ring inside of my 60K dream car. LOL

 

[ladypirate]

Date: 6/19/2008 2:46:14 PM
Author: fieryred33143

Date: 6/19/2008 2:36:27 PM
Author: Anna0499

Date: 6/19/2008 1:42:54 PM
Author: CaféHummingbird
I''m sorry if it came off that way, but it''s how I feel about EVERYTHING in life. You don''t get good grades in school, promotions at work or lose weight by just by showing up. You have to work at it.

I took this as if you work hard and save, you might be able to get a better ring than you think, not necessarily a $25k one but a nicer one than you thought you could afford (given a ring is a priority for you). I think that applies to everything though, whether you''re trying to buy a ring, house, car, etc. and I didn''t take the comment as offensive but I can see how it could''ve been read that way. I just wish I was in the market for a house right now with prices being so low!!!!!

Sorry to anyone trying to sell their house but I hope they stay that way for the next 5 years or so!

Well, in our case we did work hard and we did save. Our hard work and savings just went to things other than a ring...our home and all of the upgrades primarily.

I think engagements should be what they are about...a promise to get married. If that promise comes with a $700 ring or a $25K ring, it doesn''t matter because we''re all headed in the same direction.

I also think that if we were in a different stage in our lives where $25K spent on a ring is not a big deal, then we would def. go with a 25K ring. Who wouldn''t??? But we''re not there and I''m not going to wait for him to save more to marry him.

But if we were in the 6 figure range, I would expect my 25K ring inside of my 60K dream car. LOL

LOL--your FF is lucky that your dream car only costs 60K! I want my 25K ring in the glove box of an Aston Martin V8 Vantage!

 

[Dreamgirl]

Date: 6/19/2008 2:46:14 PM
Author: fieryred33143
But if we were in the 6 figure range, I would expect my 25K ring inside of my 60K dream car. LOL

LOL I love how we all get "off topic"

So I'll join in on that...mmmmmm 6 figure range.....lol!

Well, if we had that much, my "dream" budget for a ring would be higher. Not to sound selfish, but if you have the money for it.......I don't think Id ever go higher than 3.5ct because then the diamonds start to look "costume" looking to me IMO. Plus, I would worry about someone ripping it off my finger and taking off. Gosh, I even worry about that with a MUCH smaller diamond ring. Do you girls ever think about that? I guess that's what insurance is for though.

 

[Anna0499]

Date: 6/19/2008 2:46:14 PM
Author: fieryred33143

Date: 6/19/2008 2:36:27 PM
Author: Anna0499

Date: 6/19/2008 1:42:54 PM
Author: CaféHummingbird
I''m sorry if it came off that way, but it''s how I feel about EVERYTHING in life. You don''t get good grades in school, promotions at work or lose weight by just by showing up. You have to work at it.

I took this as if you work hard and save, you might be able to get a better ring than you think, not necessarily a $25k one but a nicer one than you thought you could afford (given a ring is a priority for you). I think that applies to everything though, whether you''re trying to buy a ring, house, car, etc. and I didn''t take the comment as offensive but I can see how it could''ve been read that way. I just wish I was in the market for a house right now with prices being so low!!!!!

Sorry to anyone trying to sell their house but I hope they stay that way for the next 5 years or so!

Well, in our case we did work hard and we did save. Our hard work and savings just went to things other than a ring...our home and all of the upgrades primarily.

I think engagements should be what they are about...a promise to get married. If that promise comes with a $700 ring or a $25K ring, it doesn''t matter because we''re all headed in the same direction.

I also think that if we were in a different stage in our lives where $25K spent on a ring is not a big deal, then we would def. go with a 25K ring. Who wouldn''t??? But we''re not there and I''m not going to wait for him to save more to marry him.

But if we were in the 6 figure range, I would expect my 25K ring inside of my 60K dream car. LOL

Definitely agree...like I said, I took CH''s comment as more of a general idea about saving for anything nice you want in life, not necessarily just rings. I know everyone, regardless of how much their ring cost, would rather have a $500 ring and a great FI than a $500k ring and a divorce. I bet celebrities would say the same thing!

 

[Rhea]

My dream budget would be $10K - hopefully enough for a nice 1 carat and setting.
My semi-dream, semi-realistic budget would be $5K.
We actually spent around $1,500.

 

[CaféHummingbird]

I fail to see where my response was directed to a ring. I was quoting the student loans and 100k down payment on a home and saying that it can be done if you work at it. Pardon me for trying to be positive. I took a slight offense to the low-cost areas as I felt she was saying the only way we can afford nice things is because we must live in a place with a low cost of living. It''s not that serious.

 

[ladypirate]

Date: 6/19/2008 6:55:01 PM
Author: CaféHummingbird
I fail to see where my response was directed to a ring. I was quoting the student loans and 100k down payment on a home and saying that it can be done if you work at it. Pardon me for trying to be positive. I took a slight offense to the low-cost areas as I felt she was saying the only way we can afford nice things is because we must live in a place with a low cost of living. It''s not that serious.

I''m sorry for taking your comment differently, then--it seemed to me that you were saying that we were obviously not working hard enough if we couldn''t save 100K for a house and afford a 25K ring right now. Since SO and I both work our tails off and live quite simply to help achieve our goals, it came across as somewhat condescending. It obviously was not meant that way, so I''m sorry for taking it as such.

 

[waitingpatiently]

Date: 6/18/2008 11:19:32 PM
Author: that_someone_special
Anyone else wondering what some of these people do for a living to afford a $25k ring? Or higher? Holy smokes! That''d get me a car.. pay off a third of my school debt.. or something else.. I''d be scared to walk around with a $30k ring.. I''d have to insure not only the diamond but my finger and hand as well

Amen to that!! I am definately scared to lose my ring or have it stolen!

Dream budget: 2-3k
Realistic Budget: 2k
His budget: 1500-2k (probably, i haven''t asked, but i think he may actually spend more than i would want him to)

I''d actually LOVE to have his mom''s ring, since she passed, but it may be too soon for that......or he may not think of it

 

[princesss]

Dream budget: $15,000
Comfy budget: &7,000
Actual budget: a few years off! Haha, I''m just day dreaming because we''re not getting engaged for a looooong time. But my dream dream dream ring would probably hit around $15,000.

However, as one of my dreams can tell you, I have a plan for every budget. (I seriously have a dream where BF bought me a hideous engagement necklace, and when he told me that the necklace was it, I got distressed and told him that I had an option for any budget -- even $5!) Dream ring would be like ephemery1''s, or an 2-ish carat antique cushion. I have no idea what the budget will be, but if it''s under $4,000 I just want a kick-butt eternity band from Facets! (Ummm...not that I''ve thought about this a lot, or anything.)

 

[edotf104]

What a fun thread! Hmmm...

Pre-PS Dream Budget: $8,000-10,000
PS Dream Budget: $12,000-15,000
Realistic Budget: $5,000-6,000

Juuuuust a little off the mark

But I wouldn''t mind an upgrade in my future!

FF says his budget is whatever it takes to buy a box of Cracker Jack or a Ring Pop...
gotta love him

 

[misscuppycake]

Dream budget: 2000-3000 dollars

I don''t have a ring yet but realistically I''d be expecting something around the 1000 dollar range

 

[Deelight]

Date: 6/19/2008 1:55:56 PM
Author: ladypirate

Date: 6/19/2008 1:48:54 PM

Author: meresal

Date: 6/19/2008 12:32:57 PM

Author: ladypirate

Man, I am so jealous of people who live in low-cost areas! I don''t have any debt (bf has about 25K in grad school loans but no car payments or anything) but we want to buy a house in the next 3 years, which will be at least $100K for a down payment and we''ve only saved up about 25K so far. We both make decent incomes, but when you''re looking at trying to save that much, spending 20K on a ring just doesn''t seem right.

Are you serious?!? 100K for a down payment?!? I''m not a homeowner nor do I have a mortgage... but aren''t there also Tax benefits to having house payments. SO''s friends parents just bought another house to rent out, bc they are getting hit really hard with taxes since they officially own their house now. There are good things about paying a house off really quickly, but I tend to believe there are also good things about having a ''set'' mortgage payment you know you will always make. Am I completely wrong here? Please let me know?

100K is for the standard 20% down payment--that''s assuming a fixed mortgage for 15 or 30 years. Houses run around 500K where we''re moving to.


ETA: I wish 100K would buy us a whole house--that''d be awesome! We''d really like to do a full 20% down, though, so we don''t get totally slammed with paying interest.

Ladypirate I agree 100k to buy a house would be awesome around where I live a modest small house will cost you between 290-300k nicer ones go higher but there still nothing special and I don''t even live in a posh area. I just have to say good for you and your SO for working towards the goal of saving to buy 100k sounds daunting but there is no reason that it is not achievable . You will be more relaxed in the long run having the full down payment it gives you a little breathing room when your first starting out .

Buying a house (especially your first) is much more important then buying an expensive ring

 

[CNOS128]

Date: 6/18/2008 11:19:32 PM
Author: that_someone_special
Anyone else wondering what some of these people do for a living to afford a $25k ring? Or higher? Holy smokes! That''d get me a car.. pay off a third of my school debt.. or something else.. I''d be scared to walk around with a $30k ring.. I''d have to insure not only the diamond but my finger and hand as well

If you''re following the 2-month salary guideline, a $25k ring puts you at a $150,000/yr salary, which is less than what first year law associates at big firms made this year ($160k). So, some of them could be lawyers...

My ring was "free" (fiance''s grandmother''s). My dream budget was -- well, a lot more than that!!

 

[JSM]

I''m already engaged but this is fun!

Pre PS Dream Budget : 10k
Post PS Dream Budget : 12k
Actual Budget was nearly 3k. But the most important thing is that I''m with the man that I can''t wait to grow old with.

... And he is not opposed to an upgrade someday when we can afford it!

 

[Dreamgirl]

Date: 6/19/2008 9:12:23 PM
Author: edotf104
FF says his budget is whatever it takes to buy a box of Cracker Jack or a Ring Pop...
gotta love him

Boys.....................

lol!!!

 

[kittybean]

Date: 6/19/2008 11:02:50 PM
Author: TheBigT

If you''re following the 2-month salary guideline, a $25k ring puts you at a $150,000/yr salary, which is less than what first year law associates at big firms made this year ($160k). So, some of them could be lawyers...

My ring was ''free'' (fiance''s grandmother''s). My dream budget was -- well, a lot more than that!!

My dream budget: $17-20K
Actual budget: $25K --> FI is a third-year associate at a big law firm

 

[ringless]

Dream... hmm, I guess a larger stone in my Tacori ring I'm hoping I'll get. I went to the shop that had it and tried it on w/ a 1ct. and it was almost 8k...

 

[LaurenThePartier]

Date: 6/19/2008 3:24:45 AM
Author: Deelight

Date: 6/18/2008 11:19:32 PM
Author: that_someone_special
Anyone else wondering what some of these people do for a living to afford a $25k ring? Or higher? Holy smokes! That''d get me a car.. pay off a third of my school debt.. or something else.. I''d be scared to walk around with a $30k ring.. I''d have to insure not only the diamond but my finger and hand as well

Okay my budget is not quite at the 25k mark but it was up there with us he works long hours and rakes in heaps of overtime neither one of us has car debts, credit cards, loans etc. I drive a little old crap box and I love her he has no car debt. We both have a house with way less half the mortgage that is average is and when we finish renovating about a 1/3 of the value of the house we save heaps we are not frivolous in our spending.

If we didn''t already have the house and all the other stuff my ring budget would not be anywhere neat what it is but we don''t so for that reason it was not a biggie , we only plan on doing this once no upgrades this is it .


LaurenThePartier I adore your ring it is one of my favourites so is that one that you listed on Pearlmans OMG if I win lotto that sucker is mine.

I just saw this today, Deelight - but, yeah. That''s pretty much my thought - that if I won the lottery today, I would buy it immediately. Then go find a perfect Ferarri F355 Stradale for my husband.

 

[Bliss]

Wow! How do you ladies know how much your FI spent on your rings?

I have no idea and I have never asked. I should ask just to know. I never even thought to ask. I was interested in the carat size and cut cut cut. So long as it in the colorless region I was happy. I should ask! I just know about the appraisals. We never talked about budget because I knew FI could well afford what we both loved. We just talked about the stone and I just said simple setting. Now I know I should have said, "No monster prongs, please!" LOL. But to be fair, when he proposed -- he said it was a temporary setting and I could choose whatever my heart desired. Oh, in hindsight I should have asked for fluorescence. It would have knocked the price down and I adore blue tints.

PrePS: 2.5-3 ct.
PostPS: 3.5-4.5 ct
Reality: 2.7ct with an upgrade in a few years.

I just looked up diamond prices and I guess the budget was around $50-60k. It's kind of insane, now that I think about it. My guess would have been around 40k but diamond prices are way up from what I thought. My FI, all he wants is a comfort fit band for his wedding ring. I was like, "Don't you want some bling?" Nope.

Men's budget for their w-rings: platinum band
Pre-PS: platinum band
Post-PS: platinum band
Reality: platinum band

LOL

 

[Rhea]

Date: 6/20/2008 6:06:09 PM
Author: Bliss
Wow! How do you ladies know how much your FI spent on your rings?

We discussed budget openly. My ring cost $1,250 plus international bank wire transfer fees of about $50 plus $110 to get resized and repaired. The wire transfer fees are a guess based on what he told me at the time, the other prices I know for sure.