First comes love, then comes marriage...........

[Lady5]

Oh. Something else to consider....

Your body will never be the same. EVER AGAIN. I can't handle that right now. I want to enjoy my nice young body while I can. I know some people bounce back easily, but I've also seen some pretty severe cases of stretch marks. That scares me.

All the more reason to wait.

Just a thought.

What if someone *cough*me*cough* doesn't have a body that's nice?

I'm sure you're beautiful!

But regardless of anyone's starting point, pregnancy changes your body in all kinda of different ways. That's one of the things I'm personally not looking forward to. I know once it happens it will all be worth it...but I'm just not ready for that yet. One day. Just not today.

 

[Dancing Fire]

welllll,if you gonna have kids have them early. my two PITB daughters are young adults now.my wife and i are still young and we can do anything we wanted w/o worrying about them. i am glad that we had both kids before i turned 30.

 

[LaraOnline]

Oops! Well I did it opposite to you DF! I had my first baby at 32, now having my fourth aged 40.

I do enjoy my children - they are lovely people - but I do find it refreshing that women can be candid about not having children.
They are so much work, and the lifestyle of kids can be incredibly prescriptive, with very, very little room for negotiation or individuality.

The nappies and crying really aren't so bad most of the time - I think a switch in your brain flips during the labor! Seriously, I was wheeled into that hospital totally annoyed by all the crying babies, and after delivery.... it honestly didn't affect me the same way.
So I wouldn't worry over much about the crying and pooing.

It's the lack of autonomy, and the constant pile-up of brain-killing drudgery associated with child-raising that is the real problem.
One must develop a sense of humour - and no, it doesn't go away once they start school.
If anything, the institutionalisation makes the social expectations worse, although it is nice to get out of the house regularly lol.

eg I just spent half a day trying to organise Christmas concert costumes - 'sparkly bell boy' anyone??!!
The school run twice a day is a constant inconvenience, and the expectations regarding ongoing school activities, fundraising etc can be quite an imposition, considering all the work you do is for FREE.

A sense of humour and an ability to 'lighten up' about your own self worth is definitely called for if you are planning to become a mother.

Now I am a mother, I'm FINE with other women choosing not to mother. Not all of us should necessarily be bum-wipers and family janitors.

They (children) can be very sweet though.

 

[audball]

Lara! Thanks for chiming in! I haven't seen you post in ages! Hope you are well!

 

[LaraOnline]

Lara! Thanks for chiming in! I haven't seen you post in ages! Hope you are well!

Hey there audball!

I'm 'back on the prowl' for a three stone (family ring for right hand)
I try to avoid PS when I'm not 'in the market' heheheh
anything to avoid DSS, yikes!!

It's great to be back, this is a fabulous community!!

 

[audball]

Lara! Thanks for chiming in! I haven't seen you post in ages! Hope you are well!

Hey there audball!

I'm 'back on the prowl' for a three stone (family ring for right hand)
I try to avoid PS when I'm not 'in the market' heheheh
anything to avoid DSS, yikes!!

It's great to be back, this is a fabulous community!!

I always enjoy your insightful posts!