Five Traits Men Look for Before Marriage...

[bobbin]

I absolutely hate lists like this!

What, if you are not all of those things no-one will ever marry you! That if you can''t tick all the boxes no-one could possibly love you enough to want to spend the rest of their life with you?

Bull.

And.. here is me getting a little feminist.. but it just seems like another way of trying to control women. Saying women are supposed to be like this. Are there any lists that say men have to be like this for a woman to marry them? Again, it assumes that men don''t want to get married, women do and that women have to do certain things to be able to achieve their goal of getting married. Ew. I look at that list and while I am the majority of the things, as a LIW I feel kind of pressured to be more like that. Not that I will act on that, quite frankly if my SO won''t marry me as I am I don''t want to get married, but it is an extra pressure which I don''t need.

 

[Circe]

Date: 6/17/2008 8:52:24 PM
Author: bobbin
I absolutely hate lists like this!


What, if you are not all of those things no-one will ever marry you! That if you can''t tick all the boxes no-one could possibly love you enough to want to spend the rest of their life with you?


Bull.


And.. here is me getting a little feminist.. but it just seems like another way of trying to control women. Saying women are supposed to be like this. Are there any lists that say men have to be like this for a woman to marry them? Again, it assumes that men don''t want to get married, women do and that women have to do certain things to be able to achieve their goal of getting married. Ew. I look at that list and while I am the majority of the things, as a LIW I feel kind of pressured to be more like that. Not that I will act on that, quite frankly if my SO won''t marry me as I am I don''t want to get married, but it is an extra pressure which I don''t need.

Bobbin, you''re brilliant. Enthusiastic DITTO.

 

[princesss]

Date: 6/17/2008 8:54:25 PM
Author: Circe

Date: 6/17/2008 8:52:24 PM

Author: bobbin

I absolutely hate lists like this!



What, if you are not all of those things no-one will ever marry you! That if you can''t tick all the boxes no-one could possibly love you enough to want to spend the rest of their life with you?



Bull.



And.. here is me getting a little feminist.. but it just seems like another way of trying to control women. Saying women are supposed to be like this. Are there any lists that say men have to be like this for a woman to marry them? Again, it assumes that men don''t want to get married, women do and that women have to do certain things to be able to achieve their goal of getting married. Ew. I look at that list and while I am the majority of the things, as a LIW I feel kind of pressured to be more like that. Not that I will act on that, quite frankly if my SO won''t marry me as I am I don''t want to get married, but it is an extra pressure which I don''t need.

Bobbin, you''re brilliant. Enthusiastic DITTO.

+1

Things I''m willing to do to get married (eventually): Be myself. I''m seriously not willing to do anything but that.

 

[Anna0499]

I definitely agree but I think these lists are more fun than anything meant to be a "how to" for women who want to get married. The only thing I really agreed with on the list was the independent woman theme...I think all women, married, LIW, or happily single, need to hear that message.

 

[bobbin]

I get the fun bit. I am guilty of reading this stuff too. However, I think the message it sends still stinks!

 

[diamondfan]

What man would not want a non clingy, sex loving woman who knows when to dote and when not to? I think most men would be thrilled with that kind of girl. (I am not saying a woman should be that way for a man, just making the observation!)

My hubby would want someone who does not know where the mall is and hates to spend any money on herself!!! Poor guy did not get THAT.

 

[trillionaire]

Date: 6/17/2008 4:03:41 PM
Author: Anna0499

I also think that''s why the marriage age continues to rise. I''m not knocking young marriages (okay maybe I am just a little bit but only really young teenage marriages) but I think marriages between two people who fully know THEMSELVES, combined with the stability factors, probably have a better survival rate.

Do you guys watch that show ''Engaged & Underage''? It''s my guilty pleasure and at times it''s like watching a car wreck...it''s sometimes painful to watch (other times sweet and touching) but I can''t turn the channel!

LOVE the show. It''s sooooo funny. All the little 18 year olds getting married so that they can have sex without the wrath

of God.

 

[honey22]

Date: 6/17/2008 4:14:51 PM
Author: sunnyd
Alright ladies, you heard ''em. If you''re not doin it all the time, you''re not getting married!

Better get ''on the job'' then and off the LIW list

 

[purrfectpear]

My son is 25 and I know exactly the sort of woman he would find attractive.

Independently wealthy, bod like Pamela Anderson

, morals/skills of Suzy Homemaker, and must be willing to spend every waking moment either on the bass boat, in bed, or in the kitchen.

Where did I go wrong

I''m extremely independent and strong willed and I suspect he''s looking for the opposite

 

[Anna0499]

Date: 6/18/2008 8:59:39 AM
Author: purrfectpear
My son is 25 and I know exactly the sort of woman he would find attractive.

Independently wealthy, bod like Pamela Anderson

, morals/skills of Suzy Homemaker, and must be willing to spend every waking moment either on the bass boat, in bed, or in the kitchen.

Where did I go wrong

I''m extremely independent and strong willed and I suspect he''s looking for the opposite

Haha...I think a lot of 25 year old males would find that attractive...kind of like a lot of women would want a man will Bill Gates'' money, Matthew McConaughey''s body, Jamie Oliver''s cooking, and the chivalry of Prince Charming! However, what someone finds attractive (i.e. huge inflatable boobs) is not necessarily what someone wants to marry. All of my guy friends have told me about the clear distinction between women you date and women you marry.

I''m sure your son feels the same way!

That being said, I have a BEAUTIFUL friend (actually looks a lot like Pamela but wears less make-up and has natural big ones) but she can''t keep a boyfriend because she''s way to clingy and willing to drop everything to cater to a guy she''s dating. You''d think most guys would love it but they all just feel overwhelmed and become disinterested in her neediness and end up breaking up with her. It''s sad but my friends and I have been trying to help her see that she needs to worry about herself first...

 

[ringshopper2008]

I wrote a long response to this, with my own top 5 things, but my g/f started coming up the stairs so I had to close out. haha. BUT - the biggest point I wanted to make is how flawed that list was. Yes, it hit on some good points... but the fact that "good in bed" was like #2 or something struck me as odd. I think this has been covered already, but I'll throw a male perspective into the ring... If my relationship had sex in the top 5 (after the 1st 6 months of dating), then I'd be single. Meaning, I think sex is obviously very important and I of course like any other male think about it all day and night........but, it's not in the top 5 things that I need/love/enjoy about my g/f. We can go days without sex, but I can't go days without talking to her, having a connection with her, laughing with her, etc. I look forward most to other moments with her, but that's not to say that I am not 100% satisfied in the bedroom category. i just don't think it's as much of a staple as that article would like it to be.
My #1 is of course her sense of humor and how we "click" together.
Another thing that is hot to me is a woman who is independent (but not too independent of course), assertive, can be powerful (in business meetings I find it ridiculously attractive when a woman runs the show) ...
What else?
Motivated, passionate (about me, about herself, about her family & friends, about the things she enjoys most in life).
She should also have a good network of friends of her own, which gets back to the independence thing. But I don't want her to be too independent or too swept away in her career/etc, because that of course will detract from our relationship.
I think that covers it, but I will probably chime in more later.

 

[that_someone_special]

Oh for barf all over!!! It''s more about sexual chemistry than the woman wanting sex all the time asap, right now now now!!

 

[ringshopper2008]

Date: 6/18/2008 11:40:45 PM
Author: that_someone_special
Oh for barf all over!!! It''s more about sexual chemistry than the woman wanting sex all the time asap, right now now now!!

Please inform me how that "chemistry" keeps your relationship afloat when you reach old age. Oh, that''s right, it won''t matter, and MANY OTHER non-sexual things WILL. Thanks.