For the older ladies in waiting…

[jitterymo]

Date: 5/30/2008 3:55:18 PM
Author: sunnyd

Date: 5/30/2008 3:31:25 PM
Author: Bia

Date: 5/30/2008 3:19:27 PM
Author: sunnyd

ETA: How could I forget baby?! Ha. I usually only call by his frist name when I''m mad too!!! Except we never are really ''mad'' at each other, so I always have to stop and think wait, what''s your name? Because I always want to say the ex''s name!!! (anger = ex, he does the same thing!)

Say what?! Hardly ever mad at eachother? How new is your relationship, exactly?

Me and BF? ''Hardly'' isn''t exactly the word I would use. LOL...for the most part we don''t but we do get into some brawls from time to time. But I think he likes to set me off...actually I know he does.

Seriously!! We''re a year and a half into it. We get upset with each other all the time, but we''ve only ever yelled a couple of times. It''s nice. We both came out of really angry relationships prior, and he''s adamant about not fighting. So we don''t!

Now sometimes I think I start sh*t just to create drama, but that''s another story.

My Boy and I are 4.5 years in and have only had one major fight, recently actually.

but on a lighter note...my boy calls me jittery, lil jittery, babe, jo jo, burrito baby, cup cake, and so many more.

I tend to be more boring and just call him by his first name, as it doesn''t have any nick names really, or just a simple babe or baby...but i also call his little brother babe, he''s 10.

but usually when i''m talking about him and he''s not around i just call him my boy.

 

[bee*]

I still call D my boyfriend and we''re together 9 years and are engaged. I hate the word fiance so I just always say bf

 

[smiles]

when I introduce bf, I usually do it just by name he usually introduces me as "S, my girlfriend". His parents introduce me as J''s girlfriend S, but my parents call J my "friend". My dad calls everyone "friend" no matter how long they have been together, or even if they are engaged. It used to really bother me because I felt like J didn''t feel accepted (which was totally not the case) and I asked my dad once why he insists on calling everyone "friends" and he told me it was because friendship is the basis of every relationship.

 

[francesfarmer]

Date: 5/30/2008 4:57:43 PM
Author: bee*
I still call D my boyfriend and we''re together 9 years and are engaged. I hate the word fiance so I just always say bf

I hate the word fiance too! I''m not engaged but plan to always call him BF no matter what happens!

 

[gwendolyn]

I either call J my boyfriend, or I just introduce him as "J" with no label. Anyone who needs to know who he is to me should already know!

 

[emeraldlover1]

My bf hates the word "fiance" too. He says that when we are engaged he will introduce me as his girlfriend whom he intends to marry. I told him girlfriend is just fine for me. I''m 29, we own our place, live together, and have been dating for 5 years as of June 14th. I used to feel a little silly about calling him my bf after so long but in the past year its changed. He doesn''t get to call me anything other than his girlfriend until he proposes and I agree to marry him. Till then...he is my bf. I used to feel like people were judging our relationship based on how we classified our status. I now realize that I personally don''t care what they think because they aren''t in my relationship and shouldn''t be making judgments on what being together for a long time and not engaged yet means. Its different for everyone.

 

[FrekeChild]

I hate calling him a boyfriend because it sounds like we aren''t serious, that it is no more significant than my several 3 month relationships in high school. So when I get fed up with sounding 15, I start calling him my intended or betrothed. I figure it makes everything sound more serious than BF but not quite as serious as fiance (I don''t care that that''s the definition for betrothed) and it''s true that we intend to get married, it''s just not official.

Stupid woman was looking down her nose at me today like I was 14 or something (I look young, wasn''t wearing any makeup, and wearing sweats) but she saw my birthday ring (an almost plain band on my left ring finger) and her expression and demeanor totally changed. WTF?!

Oh yeah I''m 26 and BF and I have been together for just over 2 years.

 

[Dreamgirl]

Date: 5/30/2008 5:54:38 PM
Author: FrekeChild
Stupid woman was looking down her nose at me today like I was 14 or something (I look young, wasn't wearing any makeup, and wearing sweats) but she saw my birthday ring (an almost plain band on my left ring finger) and her expression and demeanor totally changed. WTF?!

Oh yeah I'm 26 and BF and I have been together for just over 2 years.

Oh I know how you feel about that! People always think Im about 19-21 when Im turning 27 in July.

Its not only that I look young, but I am petite with small bones so I think this is what makes people think that. I know it shouldn't bother me because bla, bla I will look good and young when Im 40, but I still feel bothered when people do that to me! lol (I also get bothered when people I DONT KNOW call me hon like Im 5 years old) lol

Your post reminds me..........my boyfriend lately has been refering to me as "my little love interest" lol

I would LOVE to call him my fiance for a while! If only I had the ring. lol

 

[absolut_blonde]

I''m 24 so I don''t know if I qualify as older, but I kind of have this issue too. I''m moving to SO''s city because we''re currently LDR and sometimes I feel a bit silly saying I''m ''moving for my boyfriend''. I mean, I know it''s serious. But I feel like to others, especially those I''m not close to, it makes me seem a bit flaky. Because really, boyfriend could be some dude I met on MySpace last week! Haha.

I feel as though it would SOUND better if I said I was moving because were getting married or something. I don''t usually care about what other people think, but that one trips me up sometimes.

Well, that and the fact that we''re now the only non-married young couple in his extended family. None of them care and they all treat me like family, but sometimes I wish that I were ''legit'' too

 

[Kayakqueen83]

Date: 5/30/2008 3:20:39 PM
Author: Ms.Dreamy

Date: 5/30/2008 3:15:33 PM

Author: Dreamgirl


I don''t know about all of you, but I just type ff sometimes because its shorter and easier than typing boyfriend. I never refer to him as ff by mouth. lol

hmm, maybe it''s not such a bad idea to call him my FF when introducing him... I think it would be cute if he would call me his ff

anyway, I have to try this out - at least to see the shocked look in his eyes when I say it

My BF has a music blog and recently wrote an entry and talked about an outing we went on (where we heard a really cool song)... In his blog post he referred to me as "the future Mrs." (Is it crazy to say that it made me tear up a little?? I thought it was so sweet!)

I agree though... I think he *and I* would both blush a bit if we referred to the other as FF... We are still BF/GF for now... but I can tell you, I don''t really like calling him that anymore. It seems a bit silly now that we have lived together for two years and are really partners in everything that we do... Actually today as I was walking our dogs our neighbor stopped me (we have lived next store to her for all 2 years) She said, "Excuse me if I am rude, but what exactly are you two? Are you married/dating, what?" I just laughed and said that we aren''t there yet... but soon!

 

[Kayakqueen83]

Date: 5/30/2008 8:11:37 PM
Author: absolut_blonde
I''m 24 so I don''t know if I qualify as older, but I kind of have this issue too. I''m moving to SO''s city because we''re currently LDR and sometimes I feel a bit silly saying I''m ''moving for my boyfriend''. I mean, I know it''s serious. But I feel like to others, especially those I''m not close to, it makes me seem a bit flaky. Because really, boyfriend could be some dude I met on MySpace last week! Haha.


I feel as though it would SOUND better if I said I was moving because were getting married or something. I don''t usually care about what other people think, but that one trips me up sometimes.


Well, that and the fact that we''re now the only non-married young couple in his extended family. None of them care and they all treat me like family, but sometimes I wish that I were ''legit'' too

Yep! I''m in the same boat... moving with BF in two weeks (we''ve already moved to a strange city together once) I sill felt a bit funny going to my bosses office and telling him I was moving with my "boyfriend" (again). OH well, there is nothing you can do about what other people think! I will be very happy to change the title though.

 

[Sparkalicious]

Date: 5/30/2008 4:57:43 PM
Author: bee*
I still call D my boyfriend and we're together 9 years and are engaged. I hate the word fiance so I just always say bf

Too funny, bee* - my fi feels the same way.

fieryred - We dated for 14 yrs and just got engaged. I've always just called him my boyfriend. I've often heard people refer to their special person as their "sweetie" though and it's kind of cute. This way it leaves it kind of vague and people either just assume you are still dating or are married already. If the "label" boyfriend makes you uneasy, this may be an option?

 

[Rhea]

Partner is a good word to use if you live together. Lots of people at my work are in their 30 and 40s, aren''t married, and have been living together for a few years. They tend to use partner. I love the word myself, it covers pretty much every relationship and is often how I refer to my SO.

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 5/30/2008 10:59:41 PM
Author: Kayakqueen83

Date: 5/30/2008 8:11:37 PM

Author: absolut_blonde

I'm 24 so I don't know if I qualify as older, but I kind of have this issue too. I'm moving to SO's city because we're currently LDR and sometimes I feel a bit silly saying I'm 'moving for my boyfriend'. I mean, I know it's serious. But I feel like to others, especially those I'm not close to, it makes me seem a bit flaky. Because really, boyfriend could be some dude I met on MySpace last week! Haha.



I feel as though it would SOUND better if I said I was moving because were getting married or something. I don't usually care about what other people think, but that one trips me up sometimes.



Well, that and the fact that we're now the only non-married young couple in his extended family. None of them care and they all treat me like family, but sometimes I wish that I were 'legit' too

Yep! I'm in the same boat... moving with BF in two weeks (we've already moved to a strange city together once) I sill felt a bit funny going to my bosses office and telling him I was moving with my 'boyfriend' (again). OH well, there is nothing you can do about what other people think! I will be very happy to change the title though.

Hey, I'm moving COUNTRIES for my boyfriend! I think if you talk about it like it doesn't mean anything to these people, then that's how they'll perceive it. But if you talk about it like it's somehow weird to be moving for a *boyfriend* instead of a *fiance* or *husband*, then that's how they'll perceive it. That's my approach to it, anyway, and no one's given me grief for moving across the ocean to be with my *boyfriend*.

 

[mayachel]

It depends on the situation. Mainly, I call him my partner, and am certain to throw in the use of "him" somewhere as people have previously mistaken our relationship as being same sex when I use that term. After 3 years and buying property together, "boyfriend" while sometimes endearing, is often grating in my ears. I agree with others that it sounds non-comital to me, and I imagine it so to others. Especially since we live together, and certain phone calls or appointments get made that I have more authority walking into a situation as his "wife" I''ve used the term. It rolls of the tongue so easily...

"I''M Mr.Mayachel''s wife and I''m here to pick up the credit card he left in your store."

In family-friend social settings, especially if the group is more conservative, someone will introduce us as "fiance" and we have agreed not to bother correcting, though we don''t introduce ourselves that way.

Now that I think of it, he gets away with not labeling if he can: "Mayachel, I''d like you to meet NEWPERSON..."

 

[absolut_blonde]

Date: 5/31/2008 4:09:38 AM
Author: gwendolyn

Hey, I''m moving COUNTRIES for my boyfriend! I think if you talk about it like it doesn''t mean anything to these people, then that''s how they''ll perceive it. But if you talk about it like it''s somehow weird to be moving for a *boyfriend* instead of a *fiance* or *husband*, then that''s how they''ll perceive it. That''s my approach to it, anyway, and no one''s given me grief for moving across the ocean to be with my *boyfriend*.

See, it''s totally just MY issue and on some level I do know that! SO is always like ''you''re crazy, moving to be with your boyfriend is a totally legit reason!''. It''s just a complex I have, maybe tied into being LIW in general.

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 5/31/2008 11:46:03 AM
Author: absolut_blonde

Date: 5/31/2008 4:09:38 AM

Author: gwendolyn


Hey, I''m moving COUNTRIES for my boyfriend! I think if you talk about it like it doesn''t mean anything to these people, then that''s how they''ll perceive it. But if you talk about it like it''s somehow weird to be moving for a *boyfriend* instead of a *fiance* or *husband*, then that''s how they''ll perceive it. That''s my approach to it, anyway, and no one''s given me grief for moving across the ocean to be with my *boyfriend*.

See, it''s totally just MY issue and on some level I do know that! SO is always like ''you''re crazy, moving to be with your boyfriend is a totally legit reason!''. It''s just a complex I have, maybe tied into being LIW in general.

Oh, I can totally see that--if you''re unhappy still being "just" (I use the quotes because I don''t think there''s necessarily anything insignificant about being someone''s boyfriend/girlfriend) a girlfriend, then yes, I can definitely see how it could bother you. But since you can''t force someone into an engagement (at least you can''t and honestly expect it to work out

), your choices for this moment in time are to either a) be a girlfriend or b) be single, I''d be happy with being a girlfriend, I think.

 

[absolut_blonde]

Date: 5/31/2008 12:04:17 PM
Author: gwendolyn

Date: 5/31/2008 11:46:03 AM
Author: absolut_blonde

Date: 5/31/2008 4:09:38 AM

Author: gwendolyn


Hey, I''m moving COUNTRIES for my boyfriend! I think if you talk about it like it doesn''t mean anything to these people, then that''s how they''ll perceive it. But if you talk about it like it''s somehow weird to be moving for a *boyfriend* instead of a *fiance* or *husband*, then that''s how they''ll perceive it. That''s my approach to it, anyway, and no one''s given me grief for moving across the ocean to be with my *boyfriend*.

See, it''s totally just MY issue and on some level I do know that! SO is always like ''you''re crazy, moving to be with your boyfriend is a totally legit reason!''. It''s just a complex I have, maybe tied into being LIW in general.

Oh, I can totally see that--if you''re unhappy still being ''just'' (I use the quotes because I don''t think there''s necessarily anything insignificant about being someone''s boyfriend/girlfriend) a girlfriend, then yes, I can definitely see how it could bother you. But since you can''t force someone into an engagement (at least you can''t and honestly expect it to work out

), your choices for this moment in time are to either a) be a girlfriend or b) be single, I''d be happy with being a girlfriend, I think.

Oh, I am. I''m actually ok with being a girlfriend right now for the most aprt. It''s more of a thinking he''ll wait longer than I want to (ie, if I had it my way we''d be married by the end of next year, hah)! But I''m impatient, so again probably partly my issue, LOL. I know it''ll happen!

 

[kittybean]

Date: 5/30/2008 7:33:45 PM
Author: Dreamgirl

Date: 5/30/2008 5:54:38 PM

Author: FrekeChild

Stupid woman was looking down her nose at me today like I was 14 or something (I look young, wasn''t wearing any makeup, and wearing sweats) but she saw my birthday ring (an almost plain band on my left ring finger) and her expression and demeanor totally changed. WTF?!


Oh yeah I''m 26 and BF and I have been together for just over 2 years.

Oh I know how you feel about that! People always think Im about 19-21 when Im turning 27 in July.

Its not only that I look young, but I am petite with small bones so I think this is what makes people think that. I know it shouldn''t bother me because bla, bla I will look good and young when Im 40, but I still feel bothered when people do that to me! lol (I also get bothered when people I DONT KNOW call me hon like Im 5 years old) lol


Your post reminds me..........my boyfriend lately has been refering to me as ''my little love interest'' lol


I would LOVE to call him my fiance for a while! If only I had the ring. lol

Dreamgirl, I am very petite and young-looking as well. I''m 24, but people often think I''m still in high school--and I just graduated from law school! I also still feel a little bothered when people think I''m so much younger than I am, but I always try to remind myself that I''m lucky not to be at the other end of the spectrum. I have a friend who is also 24, but people are always telling her she looks 30-33.

FrekeChild, I have definitely noticed people taking me more seriously when I have my graduation ring on my left ring finger (it''s a big sapphire with a pave band that definitely looks like it could be an e-ring). I''ve actually taken to switching it to my left hand when I''m doing something "serious," like apartment hunting as of late.

 

[Octavia]

Date: 5/30/2008 5:22:07 PM
Author: francesfarmer

Date: 5/30/2008 4:57:43 PM

Author: bee*

I still call D my boyfriend and we''re together 9 years and are engaged. I hate the word fiance so I just always say bf

I hate the word fiance too! I''m not engaged but plan to always call him BF no matter what happens!

Same here! Although when we''re in public, we do use "fiance" more often. It really depends on the situation, we both prefer BF/GF but sometimes it''s just better to highlight that we''re more formally committed. And we also refer to each other as "future husband" and "future wife" in private. Half of our friends already refer to us as husband and wife, though, which is kind of funny...they started before we even got engaged!

 

[Pandora II]

I'm 36, but most people think I'm about 10 years younger, which means I don't get that many odd looks for not talking about 'my husband'.

I've always called FI my 'other half'. I might refer to him once in a conversation as my 'fiance', but after that I go back to 'other half'. I feel that constantly referring to my 'fiance' sound a bit like I'm pushing the point. Otherwise, I just refer to him as Andy.

It gets round the whole boyfriend thing. Somehow a guy talking about his girlfriend doesn't sound as odd as talking about one's boyfriend. Don't know why!

When we are married, I will use my 'husband' though.

 

[Pushin40]

I''m 39 and BF is 46, together for 8 years..

We are "BF" and "GF", but I do admit to calling him my husband if I''m dealing with a business type scenario or dealing with our house or bills.......its jsut easier!

The term BF doesn''t bother me whatsoever and I really could care less what it sounds like or what impression it gives off to anybody. To me Partner just sounds funny, almost unromantic (like the word Roommate) .

In the Northeast I would say the term Partner is usually for same sex relationships ( I think!!).

 

[akmiss]

I usually just call him my "other." I have referred to him as my husband because the situation seemed weird. We are engaged but will not be married until August of 2009. We have been together for five years and have a two year old son plus his two sons from a previous marriage. We are quite the family with three rough and tough boys in tow.