Frustrated at friends

[Cravin My Emerald cut]

One of my friends got engaged over Christmas. Her ring is from Birks (her fiance lives in Canada) and looks like this http://www.birks.com/index.asp?SKU=854584&SecID=64&CatID=712&LangID=1

Let me preface this story with the fact that she doesn''t know if the ring is white gold or platinum, she doesn''t know what size the diamond is, she doesn''t know the specs. It is a beautiful ring though. My guess is that the diamond is 0.3-0.5 carats as it''s not much wider than the band. Sparkles like crazy.

I was talking to her and one of our other friends about diamonds. We saw this lady with a massively large diamond...which started this whole discussion. They asked me what size I wanted and when I said 2 carats it launched what I felt was an "attack" on me. My unengaged friend was saying how my fingers were so small (size 6) and that would look huge. I responded with "well emerald cuts show smaller for their weight than rounds" and I personally thought that size looked great (I felt 3 carat was bordering on too large). My engaged friend asked how much a diamond that size would cost and when I replied about $15-18K she went off about how "there''s no way you can get a good quality 2 carat diamond for that price...people buy huge stones that are crap..etc etc".

I wanted to ask her how someone that doesn''t even know a single detail about her ring (except for the cost probably) knew what the stone I want would cost. Granted I am fine with G/H color and want VS1/VS2 but as long as the stone is well cut that is by no means a "crappy" diamond. I simply do not plan on paying for a brand name.

I was so frustrated by this and wonder if they''ll criticize my ring (when I get it just because it''s big. Most of my closer friends have round or princess cut rings with center stones of 1-1.5 carats. A few people I work with have slightly larger rings and I don''t feel that a 2 carat would be too big for my "circle."

Anyone else had a similar situation?

It''s so nice to be able to vent here...

 

[FrekeChild]

I''d be frustrated too. I went to some jewelry stores yesterday and had to deal with seriously jerky sales people, and they had some weird issues with what I wanted. I won''t go into it because it made me rather upset, but now I''m a little confused about what I want.
As for the 2 carat thing-she''s just jealous. All of my relatives are jealous of my mom''s rock because it''s 1.5 carats and they talk smack about hers all the time. The ring you posted is nice enough, but it doesn''t have any wow factor for me personally. I''m sure when you get yours it''ll be gorgeous and when you want an honest opinion, you can post pics up here for us, and then you call tell us what she says about your "ugly 2 carat monstrosity" and we can all laugh at her together. It''s not like you''re going to get one of those frozen spit diamonds like what you can find on that Ugly Ring thread. Good lord-those are HIDEOUS!
Don''t worry about her!

 

[honey22]

Absolute sheer jealousy!!!! That''s all this is. She obviously sounds disappointed at her ering, so she feels the need to bring others down. I really can''t stand people like this. Please do not be swayed by what other people think - if it feels right for YOU and that''s what you have your heart set on, then go for it. They don''t have to wear it, and quite frankly, they don''t have to like it either.

It''s funny how size perception is different for different people though, I am 99.9% sure of the stone I am buying (this week!), and at first I was looking at 0.5ct RB. Now I have decided on a 0.8ct RB, and I am started to wonder if I will cop flack from other people. I know many ladies here would think it''s tiny by PS standards, but in my circle of friends / collegues, I have yet to see anything bigger than 0.5ct, and I haven''t really seen any stunning stones. But in the end, I have told myself this is something so special between my partner and I, that all that matters is that we are comfortable with it and he just wants me to be happy.

Don''t second guess yourself - enjoy that monster and when you do get it, don''t forget to post handshots!!

 

[surfgirl]

They sound jealous and petty. If I were you, I just wouldn''t engage in any discussion about such things. If/when you get your ering, just give them an "I dont really know..." when they ask about the specs, since they''ll only use them to annoy you. Just say "it''s the perfect size for me..." That''s all they need to know.

 

[Cravin My Emerald cut]

Honey22....I definitely agree with you on the size issue. I don''t look at my friends ring and go "oh geez that''s small." I think it''s perfect for her. Engagement rings are so specific to each person''s taste.

FrekeChild...if my boyfriends gives me a chunk a frozen spit my response will be "Yes BUT baby we need to talk." LOL
About your ring....granted I havent'' heard the details, but it sounds like you need a new jeweler not a new design.

I''m sure it will be beautiful...even though I''ve been fairly involved in the process....educating him, etc. I still want it to be a surprise. I expect it will probably be a 1.5-2 carat solitaire or 3 stone. He mentioned he''d be visiting the jewelry store (since he''s not comfortable with purchasing online) at the end of the month, so we shall see. He seems to enjoy stretching this out for me and keeping me oblivious as to when it''ll happen.

 

[bee*]

Date: 1/20/2008 4:05:11 PM
Author: surfgirl
They sound jealous and petty. If I were you, I just wouldn''t engage in any discussion about such things. If/when you get your ering, just give them an ''I dont really know...'' when they ask about the specs, since they''ll only use them to annoy you. Just say ''it''s the perfect size for me...'' That''s all they need to know.

Yeah I agree with this. Even though my ring isn''t huge (it''s 1.23ct), it''s quite big for Ireland and I''ve had comments made by some friends also. I''ve just ignored them-I adore my ring and that''s all that matters. Most of them bought in Ireland also and so they paid pretty much close to what D paid for my ring. I agree with the perfect size for me comment. They don''t need to know more than that.

 

[iheartscience]

Jealousy is a terrible thing! Don''t listen to her...she''s just mad yours is going to be so much bigger than hers!

 

[rubybeth]

Honestly, I think it sucks when people have to compare to make themselves feel better. I like the suggestion of saying, "Well, it''s just the right size for me!" and smiling and leaving it at that. If your friend doesn''t know much about diamonds, then no need to discuss this with her.

People are always going to have very strong opinions on engagements/weddings/etc., I just think it''s best to let their comments slide. It''s what YOU like and want that matters, and what''s affordable for your FF, and if he''s willing to get you that 2-carat emerald, I''d say, go for it!

Tangent: this reminds me, too, that I have a coworker who is recently engaged--total surprise to her--after 11 years of dating, ring is probably .3 RB at most. She went to a bridal show at the local convention center a couple weekends ago and commented at work the next Monday, "I was surprised how many woman were there who weren''t even engaged!" and she seemed completely SHOCKED. I kept my mouth shut, but was thinking... if you only knew how many women do wedding planning before the ring is on the finger... and also, how can you be THAT surprised that after 11 years the guy would propose? It makes me scared that they hadn''t talked about it that he was able to surprise her that much. I wonder what she''ll say when I tell her I picked out my ring and S just had to foot the bill, no surprise at all, but I''m getting exactly what I want (within reason)?

 

[Cravin My Emerald cut]

Date: 1/20/2008 5:49:43 PM
Author: rubybeth
Honestly, I think it sucks when people have to compare to make themselves feel better. I like the suggestion of saying, ''Well, it''s just the right size for me!'' and smiling and leaving it at that. If your friend doesn''t know much about diamonds, then no need to discuss this with her.

People are always going to have very strong opinions on engagements/weddings/etc., I just think it''s best to let their comments slide. It''s what YOU like and want that matters, and what''s affordable for your FF, and if he''s willing to get you that 2-carat emerald, I''d say, go for it!

Tangent: this reminds me, too, that I have a coworker who is recently engaged--total surprise to her--after 11 years of dating, ring is probably .3 RB at most. She went to a bridal show at the local convention center a couple weekends ago and commented at work the next Monday, ''I was surprised how many woman were there who weren''t even engaged!'' and she seemed completely SHOCKED. I kept my mouth shut, but was thinking... if you only knew how many women do wedding planning before the ring is on the finger... and also, how can you be THAT surprised that after 11 years the guy would propose? It makes me scared that they hadn''t talked about it that he was able to surprise her that much. I wonder what she''ll say when I tell her I picked out my ring and S just had to foot the bill, no surprise at all, but I''m getting exactly what I want (within reason)?

11 years

whoa

The girl I was talking about mentioned how "everyone but her seems to have been somewhat involved in choosing the e-ring" Once again, completely personal decision. I''m with you though....I want to get what I want (but have it still be a surprise . It''s a huge expense and I don''t want to have to utilize a return policy.

 

[Sparkalicious]

Haters. Annoying.

Naively, I thought that people would be happy for others when they started talking ering with their bf. I quickly discovered this is not the case. Once some of my friends found out what I was looking for they thought it appropriate to chime in, isn''t that a bit expensive or isn''t that a bit big for a diamond? Ummm NO! It''s going to be for me and that''s what I like and want.

Really ... would it be appropriate to say, isn''t that a bit small for a diamond or a bit inexpensive? No so why bother me about what size I would like?

Just ignore it CravinMyEmeraldCut ... jealousy is just not a good thing. I''m always so tempted to lie and make up some type of elaborate over the top story when people say stupid things out of jealousy. Can''t stand it.

When you find your perfect diamond, it will be gorgeous and just perfect for you!

 

[Independent Gal]

One of the things I like about PS is the window it sometimes provides on completely different social milieus. While I can imagine this conversation happening, I'm about 110% certain that no one I know would have it. My friend just got engaged with a perfectly cut 2.5(ish?) RB in a lovely setting. That stone makes my eyes bug out. My best friend is about to get engaged with a 1 ct funky coloured sapphire. I have a 0.7 ct stone in a fancy setting. Most of the women I work with have 3 stone rings that are much smaller still, except one lady who has a to-die-for honkin' big ruby. And you know what? No one cares. At all. I mean, at all. It is so not even a subject of conversation, except sometimes mutual admiration. If friends and colleagues can't enjoy each others' bling -big or small- that's just a lot of lost pleasure.

So it's interesting to hear that this is a real conversation that real people have outside of a movie. Sorry to hear it happened to you CMEC. How petty. Not worth the breath.

 

[CaliBling]

Don''t you just love when people who know nothing about a particular topic, nor have they ever showed any interest are suddenly "experts"?? Ugh. I have friends like this and it drives me crazy. I can only attest that comments such as these stem from some sort of jealously...while she may not have had an interest in rings before, she may very well be intersted in the idea of a friend having a larger stone. I don''t know for certain if this is the case with your friend, but I have friends who can come across as pretty judgemental. Some friends try to put up a front like they don''t care, when really its eating them up inside. Try not to let it bother you , and work that 2 Carat stone Girlfriend!!!

 

[absolut_blonde]

I expect I''ll run into a bit of this as well. The majority of people I know have rather small diamonds and I''d like something in the 1-1.3 range (ideally, anyway-- I''ve no idea what SO is thinking as far as a budget goes!). Mind you, one of SO''s friends did get his GF a 2.8ct tcw three-stone ring... so at least I know they wouldn''t say anything!

This was a good point in relation to my thread, though. I''m not sure I have a friend who''d fully understand what I am looking for and why I care about the ring specs, etc. The majority of people I know seemingly just do the mall store thing and pick a pre-set ring that they like.

There is no ''right'' way when it comes to rings, engagement, etc. If your SO wants to get you your dream ring, it''s nobody else''s business really!

 

[leni]

ok.............been lurkig for a bout a month. just got engaged.
i can kind of relate to this issue. when i got engaged, my fi got me a 1.53 f vs1 radiant cut in a lucida kind of setting. As u r now aware (from my description) i have not knowledge about diamonds. I was so excited cuz my ring was so nice - atleast thats what i believe. One of my grlfriends, who isnt in a serious relationship said to me thats cute, hopefully he will change it before the wedding! i was hurted! i stopped admiring my ring for a second. I became very conscious and asked my cousin if my ring was decent and she said it was beyond average. I''m 22 yrs old ad in college.
l love my ring and my fi loves to pay cash for everything. While my friend who made the comment makes payment on everything from her camera to basic things. plus shes still renting n my fi n i own our place. After i took all of that into consideration, i was mad at myself for even feeling bad.
ALL I CAN SAY IS DIFFERENT PRIORITIES. SOME PPL ARE ENVIOUS.

JUST MY 2 CENTS!

 

[diamondfan]

the green eyed monster rules it''s head again. pay them no mind, they do not ultimately have the power to mess with you unless you let them! congrats on getting engaged and enjoy it all.

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

My guess is that she knows perfectly well how much her .50ctw Birks ring cost--and is upset b/c the 12K they spent on it could have gone a LONG way elsewhere

.... Get exactly what you want without interference from others and wear it in health.

cheers--Sharon

 

[KatM]

i find that in situations like this it''s best to consult dear abby or miss manners. they have a wonderful way of saying ''now why would you ask me something so personal?'' in a way that makes other people realize what heels they''re being.

or you could just ask other people equally personal financial questions (salary, price of house, etc)

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 1/20/2008 11:04:40 PM
Author: canuk-gal
HI:

My guess is that she knows perfectly well how much her .50ctw Birks ring cost--and is upset b/c the 12K they spent on it could have gone a LONG way elsewhere

.... Get exactly what you want without interference from others and wear it in health.

cheers--Sharon

Ditto, well said.

 

[ktdid]

Holy Snot! That "friend" is so jealous! I can''t imagine saying anything lik e that to someone about their ring! What is it with women always trying to put each other down, even if it''s unintentional! How about saying "that''s gorgeous, you are such a lucky girl!". Ugh.
A real friend would never make such tacky comments! And what made her the sudden expert on diamonds

 

[sweetjettagirl04]

I agree with the jealousy issue here.

If that''s what you and your SO have talked about for your ring, and it''s agreed that he is stable enough to afford it, then wear it in happiness and good health. There is no reason for you to feel bad about it. The size of the ring doesn''t mean anything, it''s the symbolism attached to it and what that truly means. When you get your ring, knock their socks off with it!

 

[tberube]

Ugh. Women are awful to each other. I literally lost a friend partially because of the size of my e-ring (I think she was angry because her diamond didn''t dwarf mine). Your friend isn''t tactful enough to mask her jealousy over the fact that your diamond is going to be a lot larger than hers - hell I''M jealous that you''re going to get a 2ct. EC because that''s my goal and my current diamond is half that weight. Firstly, your friend should grow up and be happy for you instead of picking you apart to make up for her jealousy. Secondly, you should do your best to not let her succeed in making you feel terrible about it. You''re lucky enough to get a huge diamond, something most women will never have - so be excited, happy, and most of all, gracious.

 

[tberube]

Date: 1/20/2008 4:05:11 PM
Author: surfgirl
They sound jealous and petty. If I were you, I just wouldn''t engage in any discussion about such things. If/when you get your ering, just give them an ''I dont really know...'' when they ask about the specs, since they''ll only use them to annoy you. Just say ''it''s the perfect size for me...'' That''s all they need to know.

BTW - surfgirl''s advice, as always, is so exactly right. The most mature women I know (with the exception of very close friends) have never divulged to me the carat weight of their diamonds, nor have they asked me about mine.

 

[Deelight]

Just ignore her jealousy is an evil thing and brings the worst out of people

At the end of the day as long as your happy with it and you love it thats all that matters

 

[jng2b]

I agree- I think you should have not said anything about the ring you want. It does seem a little rude to talk about the 2-carat ring that you want when your friend is all excited about her brand new ring that is much smaller. She might not be jealous - but she probably thinks that you are jealous that she is engaged and that you are trying to show off. This is like a friend I used to have - I would talk about how much I wanted a house - any house! And she would then talk about her townhome, and then her $600,000 single family home, and then the THIRD home that she was about to buy! It just pissed me off - it was inconsiderate of her to talk about all of her houses when she knew how hard it was for me to afford just one small house! So I''d bet that your friend is feeling the same way - she can''t understand why you are bragging about a 2 ct stone that you don''t even have, when she just wants you to be excited for her ring and her engagement. Just a perspective from the other side! Next time, just don''t say anything.

 

[tberube]

Date: 1/22/2008 10:01:56 AM
Author: jng2b
I agree- I think you should have not said anything about the ring you want. It does seem a little rude to talk about the 2-carat ring that you want when your friend is all excited about her brand new ring that is much smaller. She might not be jealous - but she probably thinks that you are jealous that she is engaged and that you are trying to show off. This is like a friend I used to have - I would talk about how much I wanted a house - any house! And she would then talk about her townhome, and then her $600,000 single family home, and then the THIRD home that she was about to buy! It just pissed me off - it was inconsiderate of her to talk about all of her houses when she knew how hard it was for me to afford just one small house! So I''d bet that your friend is feeling the same way - she can''t understand why you are bragging about a 2 ct stone that you don''t even have, when she just wants you to be excited for her ring and her engagement. Just a perspective from the other side! Next time, just don''t say anything.

jng - I kind of agree, but kind of disagree. If we''re in a perfect world, we wouldn''t be jealous when friends are commiserating with us on certain topics (i.e. houses, engagements) and they just happen to have more than us. I will be the first one to admit that the green monster pops up every time I hear about my friend''s $400,000 home or their 2.5ct cushion ring. But if all things are equal, we''re each just talking about our own lives. Just because you happen to have something that someone else doesn''t have or can''t afford, that doesn''t preclude your ever speaking about it to that friend. Especially if they really are your friend.

 

[jng2b]

TBERube - I definitely see what you are saying - I agree that friends should be able to talk about anything. But I guess it is the WAY that they talk about things - she made it sound like getting a 2ct ring was an everyday, totally normal experience and couldn''t see why anyone would think it was out of the ordinary. To her friend, that was probably patronizing - like the original poster couldn''t understand why everyone doesn''t have a 2 ct ring. That''s just the impression I got.

Just like my friend with the houses - she honestly didn''t believe that there were many people in the country that made less than $200,000 a year. To her, having three houses was totally normal, and she couldn''t understand why anyone would think differently. People just need to be considerate of other people''s situations. Like, if someone came to me and said, yeah, I think I''m getting a 4 ct ring - like it wasn''t anything special or out of the ordinary, I''d kind of react the same way. I''d rather not hear anything at all before the fact and just enjoy the bling when she actually gets it!!

 

[sputat]

Date: 1/22/2008 10:01:56 AM
Author: jng2b
I agree- I think you should have not said anything about the ring you want. It does seem a little rude to talk about the 2-carat ring that you want when your friend is all excited about her brand new ring that is much smaller. She might not be jealous - but she probably thinks that you are jealous that she is engaged and that you are trying to show off. This is like a friend I used to have - I would talk about how much I wanted a house - any house! And she would then talk about her townhome, and then her $600,000 single family home, and then the THIRD home that she was about to buy! It just pissed me off - it was inconsiderate of her to talk about all of her houses when she knew how hard it was for me to afford just one small house! So I'd bet that your friend is feeling the same way - she can't understand why you are bragging about a 2 ct stone that you don't even have, when she just wants you to be excited for her ring and her engagement. Just a perspective from the other side! Next time, just don't say anything.

I had that vibe too when I first read this thread. But then again, maybe it's from personal experience.

A few weeks before my guy actually popped the question, he had mentioned the ring and then dropped the topic altogether. I was nervous and excited and had no idea what he was up to. I remember talking about it to a close girlfriend and as expected when talkiing about diamonds, size was discussed. I told her I don't really know but that he had mentioned 1.25 ct. (to go over the 1 ct. hump plus what he sees at his work environment). I didn't know anything about diamonds so I researched to get a ball park figure. The sticker shock made me more anxious, not just about getting engaged but also the $$$ for the ring. I told her I'm not going to expect too much and that he didn't have to go over 1 ct. She replied that when she gets engaged, she wants a 2 ct. diamond and joked that even the possibility of getting mugged doesn't faze her about wearing that size. Kidding aside, I dunno... the flow of the conversation suddenly felt "off". She wasn't in a serious relationship at that time. Was it me (talking about rings and engagements and relationships) that made her "go there"? Or was it her?

Soon after, my guy did propose and surprised me with a 2 ct. I was floored! It was a really exciting time for me. When I called her, she sounded pleasant about it. She asked about the ring, I told her what I got and she just congratulated me again. I remember talking to her for at least 10 more minutes but nothing about the engagement was brought up again. I just made a mental note that maybe she's not all into engagement/wedding talk so I don't bring it up. Fast forward a few months later, she met her boyfriend and things are looking great. Now and then, she would ask about how the wedding plans are going, yada yada. I don't bombard her with too much details but I give her snippets here and there.

She is still my good friend. I didn't take it as her being petty and I hope she didn't take it as me trying to flaunt. There's two sides to everything.

 

[sweetjettagirl04]

Date: 1/22/2008 11:47:50 AM
Author: sputat

Date: 1/22/2008 10:01:56 AM
Author: jng2b
I agree- I think you should have not said anything about the ring you want. It does seem a little rude to talk about the 2-carat ring that you want when your friend is all excited about her brand new ring that is much smaller. She might not be jealous - but she probably thinks that you are jealous that she is engaged and that you are trying to show off. This is like a friend I used to have - I would talk about how much I wanted a house - any house! And she would then talk about her townhome, and then her $600,000 single family home, and then the THIRD home that she was about to buy! It just pissed me off - it was inconsiderate of her to talk about all of her houses when she knew how hard it was for me to afford just one small house! So I'd bet that your friend is feeling the same way - she can't understand why you are bragging about a 2 ct stone that you don't even have, when she just wants you to be excited for her ring and her engagement. Just a perspective from the other side! Next time, just don't say anything.

I had that vibe too when I first read this thread. But then again, maybe it's from personal experience.

A few weeks before my guy actually popped the question, he had mentioned the ring and then dropped the topic altogether. I was nervous and excited and had no idea what he was up to. I remember talking about it to a close girlfriend and as expected when talkiing about diamonds, size was discussed. I told her I don't really know but that he had mentioned 1.25 ct. (to go over the 1 ct. hump plus what he sees at his work environment). I didn't know anything about diamonds so I researched to get a ball park figure. The sticker shock made me more anxious, not just about getting engaged but also the $$$ for the ring. I told her I'm not going to expect too much and that he didn't have to go over 1 ct. She replied that when she gets engaged, she wants a 2 ct. diamond and joked that even the possibility of getting mugged doesn't faze her about wearing that size. Kidding aside, I dunno... the flow of the conversation suddenly felt 'off'. She wasn't in a serious relationship at that time. Was it me (talking about rings and engagements and relationships) that made her 'go there'? Or was it her?

Soon after, my guy did propose and surprised me with a 2 ct. I was floored! It was a really exciting time for me. When I called her, she sounded pleasant about it. She asked about the ring, I told her what I got and she just congratulated me again. I remember talking to her for at least 10 more minutes but nothing about the engagement was brought up again. I just made a mental note that maybe she's not all into engagement/wedding talk so I don't bring it up. Fast forward a few months later, she met her boyfriend and things are looking great. Now and then, she would ask about how the wedding plans are going, yada yada. I don't bombard her with too much details but I give her snippets here and there.

She is still my good friend. I didn't take it as her being petty and I hope she didn't take it as me trying to flaunt. There's two sides to everything.

I don't think the OP was "bragging" to her friends about the size of the ring she was going to get. If you look at the OP's comments, she said they asked her what she wanted. I think it comes down to the pettiness that can happen between friends when it comes to "things" and they forget that the relationship is more important than anything.

It would be totally different if the OP brought up the topic and was intentionally making her friend feel inferior because the ring she had didn't "match up" to the size of the one she wants.

Unfortunately, sometimes people feel like the size of the ring determines the amount of love their fiancee has for them, and if someone else has a larger ring, they tend to feel bad about it, which may ( and this is total speculation because I don't know anything other than the OP's post) explain the "attack" the OP was confused about. Things, no matter what they are, don't measure anything, except how much money you've spent. They don't make anything better, and usually cause rifts in friendships if another person is jealous. However, it is only human to be jealous, whether it's a friend or not.

 

[Patchee]

Mine new ring (YEAH) is a 1.04 Princess center with .50 on each side solitaire, white gold and some platinum, color D. It is beautiful and just the right size for me.

A girl I know just got engaged a few days after me. her ring looks to me like a .50 solitaire. She had no idea what the stats on the ring was and when she saw mine she drew her hand away... and walked away. I was not comparing hers to mine but I got the sence like mine was too gauky for her to comment on!

 

[tberube]

Date: 1/22/2008 10:35:18 AM
Author: jng2b
TBERube - I definitely see what you are saying - I agree that friends should be able to talk about anything. But I guess it is the WAY that they talk about things - she made it sound like getting a 2ct ring was an everyday, totally normal experience and couldn''t see why anyone would think it was out of the ordinary. To her friend, that was probably patronizing - like the original poster couldn''t understand why everyone doesn''t have a 2 ct ring. That''s just the impression I got.


Just like my friend with the houses - she honestly didn''t believe that there were many people in the country that made less than $200,000 a year. To her, having three houses was totally normal, and she couldn''t understand why anyone would think differently. People just need to be considerate of other people''s situations. Like, if someone came to me and said, yeah, I think I''m getting a 4 ct ring - like it wasn''t anything special or out of the ordinary, I''d kind of react the same way. I''d rather not hear anything at all before the fact and just enjoy the bling when she actually gets it!!

Well-said.