frustration and tears

[bee*]

Alexis, you really have to consider leaving him. It seems to have been a bad situation before his father died and unfortunately things normally dont get better before they get worse. I dont want to upset you but I think that an engagement should be the last thing on your mind at the moment as there are a lot of issues to deal with, especially from that other message that was posted from back in May. There doesnt seem to be any respect to you coming from him. I think before his mother decides to sell the house you''re in or whatever she decides to do, that you should move out and do your best to get your own place. I understand that money is tight but try and find somewhere. If he treats you that way before you get engaged or married, then it will not get better when you have that ring on your finger. I hope that you find the strenght to do whats best for yourself. I know that you love him but you also have to think of yourself too and what you are getting out of this relationship.

 

[magpye]

Wow Alexis. You deserve a lot better than what you are getting. I know I posted earlier that he needs your help the most at this critical moment in his life but...I didn''t realize he was treating you this this!

You deserve someone who will treat you like smart, beautiful and empathetic person you are. Someone who will appreciate your hard work and dedication to your studies and to your future. Someone who loves you should want to do everything to support you while you are in school and short of cash. My FI doesn''t make a ton of money but he works full time. This summer while I was studying for the bar I was not working. He paid all the bills and groceries, filled my car with gas a few times, and made sure I was confortable so I could study.
Alezis, I''m not saying this to be mean. But in my honest opinion this man does not love you. It comes through loud and clear to me from what I''ve read

Please think about yourself and leave him. It''s not easy, your heart will hurt, your head will hurt. He''ll lash out and try to hurt you for leaving him. But after time passes you will look back and realize that you did the best thing. Best of luck to you. i hope I did not offend you. That is the last of my intentions. Good luck.

 

[Mandarine]

Alexis I''m so sorry you''re going through this...and I can totally relate!.

My ex BF had a similar problem and attitude!. He had a drinking problem and even though he would say he would stop, he kept going back to his old ways. He would also use strong words and to be honest it would really freak me out!

All I can really tell you, people don''t change. You deserve better...

M~

 

[lawmax]

Ladies...it is not healthy or "normal" to have boyfriends who are alcoholics and/or treat you desrespectfully ever!!! I was married to/with a guy for 18 years who sucked the life out of me! Now, I have the most unbelievably kind, wise, caring, doting, protective, loving boyfriend so I get to see the contrast. He won''t allow me to put myself last, makes sure my children learn to be respectful to me, is totally loving toward them, is understanding of my psychology and is helping me heal as I am willing to do the work and look at all of the pain from the abuse I tolerated for so long. Get out, meet some truly wonderful men, and you won''t go back unless you are seriously masochistic. There is a whole other kind of relationship out there. You''re so young. Please see all of these red sirens going off and don''t ignore them anymore. They aren''t possible red flags; they are totally unacceptable right now!

"Drop a frog into boiling watter, he''ll jump out. Drop a frog into a pot of pleasantly warm water, stoke the heat slowly, and the frog will be dead before he knows there''s a problem."

 

[Mandarine]

I did say ex BF! (not having that problem with my current BF)

I completely agree with you Lawmax!. I am also luck now to have a man that respects me, loves me and makes me want to be a better person everyday!!

Alexis, whatever you decide, just keep in mind that you should be your #1 priority!

And we''re here for you if you need some "ears or shoulders"!