Future SIL problem

[Mary K]

I feel your pain on this. My FI and I were put into a very ugly situation by his family when we tried to keep the wedding party down to a few close friends. They were no longer speaking to us unless they were telling us how selfish and rude we were (hello--we''re rude?!). Basically we caved in and ended up adding an extra bridesmaid and a jr bridesmaid--which of course meant that we had to add another groomsman and a jr groomsman too. That seemed to make his family happy, but I still am not totally at peace with it. Our wedding is in 2 months and part of me is dreading dealing with it, but I think in the long run it will help since we are going to be family. I just hope I don''t have a few too many cocktails at the reception and tell them how I really feel. LOL

It''s a tough situation and you have to weigh your feelings with how you think it may affect your future family relationships. Good luck--I hope you can find a peaceful way of handling it.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

I think it is always wise to ask brothers and sisters of the bride and groom to be in the bridal party. You are setting yourself up for a lifetime of hard feelings if you don''t. If she is asked and then declines, then fine. But I think a groom''s sister should always be asked to be a bridesmaid unless there is an odd circumstance such as estrangement, sister is too young or too old, etc. Family is important to most people, and the better you start out, the better chance you can get along in the future. You ask her to honor your future husband, not because she is your best friend.

 

[KimberlyH]

If she truly doesn''t want to be a bridesmaid then you have no issue to begin with. Find a reading for her and be done with it, as has been suggested. But if your fiance really wants her to be part of the bridal party it may be a good idea for you to reconsider your stance. In a few years I can''t imagine you would look back and regret her being part of your bridal party, but I can fathom looking back and wondering if you might have a better relationship with your fiance''s family if you had included her. As time moves on and the wedding gets further away you''ll reflect back on the specifics less and less, but you will never forget the feeling of being surrounded by an entire group of people who love and care for you both and want to support you in your marriage.