getting lost in stupid stuff

[TooPatient]

What is a script for? If I'm doing a traditional ceremony, do I need one?
Is this something I'm supposed to be working on or do we just pick the couple of songs and leave the rest to Rabbi?


FI lost the curve in his neck. Possibly due to an accident he was in 40 years ago (he was on bicycle and hit head on by car) or maybe just due to little things over time. Either way, the straight neck is causing the spine to shift out of shape which is causing the hips to shift out of place...
Vertebrae are rubbing against each other and decaying. Also got some pinched nerves.

Right now he is unable to sit still, stand up, walk much, drive, type, move a mouse and pretty much anything else you want to mention. The pain is keeping him up at night so he'll get an hour or two of sleep and then have to move to a different place (bed to couch to other couch to bed) and be there for a bit. Repeat all night for very little sleep.

I'm taking him to a chiropractor for traction and all sorts of contraptions 3 times per week. Anti-inflammatory injections (plant based non-steroid so no side effects) in his neck and spine 3 times per week. Muscle relaxants & oral anti-inflammatory pills every day. SOMA once per week and will shift to twice per week as soon as dr advises. Meeting with general dr for updates every few weeks.
Between appointments he has stretching to do. Also lots of ice, various chiropractor/PT wedges/rolls to help with alignment and using a tens machine.

He is making improvement. We're hoping he'll be better by the wedding and not have any problems making it through the day. The drs are all hopeful that he'll be ready...

 

[LoveLikeCrazy]

What is a script for? If I'm doing a traditional ceremony, do I need one?
Is this something I'm supposed to be working on or do we just pick the couple of songs and leave the rest to Rabbi?


FI lost the curve in his neck. Possibly due to an accident he was in 40 years ago (he was on bicycle and hit head on by car) or maybe just due to little things over time. Either way, the straight neck is causing the spine to shift out of shape which is causing the hips to shift out of place...
Vertebrae are rubbing against each other and decaying. Also got some pinched nerves.

Right now he is unable to sit still, stand up, walk much, drive, type, move a mouse and pretty much anything else you want to mention. The pain is keeping him up at night so he'll get an hour or two of sleep and then have to move to a different place (bed to couch to other couch to bed) and be there for a bit. Repeat all night for very little sleep.

I'm taking him to a chiropractor for traction and all sorts of contraptions 3 times per week. Anti-inflammatory injections (plant based non-steroid so no side effects) in his neck and spine 3 times per week. Muscle relaxants & oral anti-inflammatory pills every day. SOMA once per week and will shift to twice per week as soon as dr advises. Meeting with general dr for updates every few weeks.
Between appointments he has stretching to do. Also lots of ice, various chiropractor/PT wedges/rolls to help with alignment and using a tens machine.

He is making improvement. We're hoping he'll be better by the wedding and not have any problems making it through the day. The drs are all hopeful that he'll be ready...

I had a choice of a religious and symbolic ceremony script that the resort offers. I have always dreamed of piecing together my own script (with help from google of course hehe), to make it more "tailored" to what i think fits "US". We are writing our own vows as well, but i just really wanted the whole ceremony to feel like us and not some generic poo poo that they say at every wedding. My WC said thats fine but the officiant had to approve it. Luckily he/she did. Not sure what i would have done if they didn't

I'm so sorry about your FI. I hope that with all the chiropractic care, and other treatments - he will be able to enjoy your wedding day without pain. Poor guy

yay Aud! So happy for you! I'm sure your ceremony will go thru a-ok! I know we are much alike with the romantic part of this, thats why we both eloped...so to me the ceremony just makes it SO special. I plan on having it printed and framed along with our vows after the wedding.

 

[audball]

What is a script for? If I'm doing a traditional ceremony, do I need one?
Is this something I'm supposed to be working on or do we just pick the couple of songs and leave the rest to Rabbi?

I had a choice of a religious and symbolic ceremony script that the resort offers. I have always dreamed of piecing together my own script (with help from google of course hehe), to make it more "tailored" to what i think fits "US". We are writing our own vows as well, but i just really wanted the whole ceremony to feel like us and not some generic poo poo that they say at every wedding. My WC said thats fine but the officiant had to approve it. Luckily he/she did. Not sure what i would have done if they didn't

I'm so sorry about your FI. I hope that with all the chiropractic care, and other treatments - he will be able to enjoy your wedding day without pain. Poor guy

yay Aud! So happy for you! I'm sure your ceremony will go thru a-ok! I know we are much alike with the romantic part of this, thats why we both eloped...so to me the ceremony just makes it SO special. I plan on having it printed and framed along with our vows after the wedding.

Ditto LLC! If you're doing a traditional Jewish ceremony, your Rabbi will probably have the ceremony script that is standard/traditional. If you're curious as to how it will read/flow, I'm sure they'd be willing to share it with you so that you can preview the words that will be said on your wedding day. That way, if there is anything you wish to change, you may be able to talk to them about that. I don't know what's required for it to stay a Jewish ceremony, but your Rabbi should be able to guide you through that. There are the legal requirements for making it a legitimate ceremony, and there is also religious requirements that the clergy will help you to meet.

Personalized ceremony scripts have kind of become more popular with people wishing to deviate from the standard/traditional ceremonies in favor of writing something more personal. This, like LLC, was really important to us. We used "The Wedding Ceremony Planner" book to write our own ceremony before contacting our officiant so we could get an idea of what we really liked and wanted (though since that book caters towards longer ceremonies with lots of components and at some points addresses an audience that we wont' have present...we knew it would likely be far from our final script.) It did help us really hone in on things we wanted said, though.

After we finished that, we went ahead and emailed our officiant and asked him to send us his standard elopement ceremony script. When we booked our elopement package, we had a choice of officiant from a justice of the peace, and other religious reverends, priests, pastor, rabbi etc. We are religious, but weren't set on it having to be performed by a pastor. The most important thing to us was being able to include the religious references we wanted and having a say in being able to edit and customize the ceremony to our taste. In speaking with the concierge at the B&B, she recommended the JOP who is open to customizations and uses religious references even in his standard script. So we booked him.

He happily sent us his standard script and there was a lot of it we really liked. We used the one we wrote together from The Wedding Ceremony Planner book and his, and fused the things we loved about the one we wrote into the script he had. We edited some of the words in our officiant's and really made it our own. We are doing traditional "I do" vows and saying personal ones. We both wanted to actually say "I do!", but also wanted to share something more personal. We wrote our vows together and they are of similar length and similar theme, but are unique to each of us.

We are super happy with how it came out, we're just dying to know if it's 'approved' so we can actually check that off!

 

[audball]

He is making improvement. We're hoping he'll be better by the wedding and not have any problems making it through the day. The drs are all hopeful that he'll be ready...

Your poor FI! I hope that he gets to feeling better in time for the wedding! *****Dust****** for healing!

 

[TooPatient]

Ketubah ordered!

Called mikvah to get appointment there. Have to wait for call back, but they are very good and only need 24 hours notice.


Thanks for the info about a script! I'll have to e-mail Rabbi and see if I can get that so that I know what to expect.



ETA: first fitting scheduled!

 

[TooPatient]

Funny how the "to do" list grows new items as I finish others....

58 days!


Done:
STD's mailed
his w-band bought
venue selected/booked
wine tasting arranged
cake
invitations
figure out who is sharing room with "A"
who to drive "A" over on the day of
Place in our house for TWO guests to stay (not a couple so need two locations)
My necklace (sapphire & diamond)
my w-band
new kippah for FI
kippah for "A"
DRESS
order kosher wine for blessings
plane ticket for out of town guest
gift registry
Staying Friday night too!
KETUBAH!!!
photographer
engagement photos scheduled!

In process:
DJ (FI working out music list etc)
music selection
flowers (verging on done -- should have confirmation in the next day or two)
dinner menu (have to wait until closer since all veggies are grown on site)
brunch menu (same as dinner)
chuppah (brilliant idea -- must run by Rabbi for okay --- Got the okay!!!! only minimal to finish now!)
nails (have good recommendation for local place -- visiting in the next couple of weeks and will do test run for e-pics)
shoes
kippot (plural of kippah) for guests
book of blessings for dinner
schedule mikvah visit for me (message left, waiting for call back)
dress fittings (1st scheduled)
veil (lady doing the fittings will do this)
order kosher meals for Rabbi & cantor (1st choice is place in NY, if they can't ship to us we'll have to do local)
Place for OOT guest to sleep in our house (both rooms figured out, one ready to use, one almost ready)

To do:
hair
his tux
dress for "A" (waiting for September since she's growing fast!)
someone to watch animals for at least 2 nights
frame to hang ketubah
find a glass to break
toasting glasses
special Kiddush cup
ceremony programs
translate Hebrew sections to English to print for guests (leaving this to FI)
guest book?
marriage license
practice 1st dance (would like to have practiced with our instructor for 1st and last dances)
centerpiece materials
underwear to go with dress
rental car of OOT guests
outfits to wear for e-pics!

 

[audball]

Funny how the "to do" list grows new items as I finish others....

Soooo true! I've found this is the case as well! You are making EXCELLENT progress, though! I can't believe we're so close! You with 58 days to go, and me with 71!

 

[TooPatient]

Funny how the "to do" list grows new items as I finish others....

Soooo true! I've found this is the case as well! You are making EXCELLENT progress, though! I can't believe we're so close! You with 58 days to go, and me with 71!

The time is just flying by!

Oh -- our e-pics are going to be done in/around Leavenworth!

 

[audball]

The time is just flying by!

Oh -- our e-pics are going to be done in/around Leavenworth!

Woot! Are you going to post some for us when you get them taken!? I'm not familiar with the area up there being from the Southeast, but it was beautiful when I was in Portland!

 

[LoveLikeCrazy]

I hope you have lots of fun taking your e pics! I have no idea where that place is though haha

One bummer of destination wedding/photographer is NO e pics. We really want them so i started calling around since we need to add the amt into budget, and would prob wait till the spring to do them...Well there was NO quote under 500... And everyone kept saying, well you should really do your wedding photos with us its cheaper! OK usually its cheaper, but its not cheaper for me to fly you down LOL. I think i will have to keep looking for something a little more reasonable because our budget is already blown (we are at $8700 for an ELOPEMENT!!!!!! ), but i really think we both need some camera exposure before the big day.

 

[audball]

I hope you have lots of fun taking your e pics! I have no idea where that place is though haha

One bummer of destination wedding/photographer is NO e pics. We really want them so i started calling around since we need to add the amt into budget, and would prob wait till the spring to do them...Well there was NO quote under 500... And everyone kept saying, well you should really do your wedding photos with us its cheaper! OK usually its cheaper, but its not cheaper for me to fly you down LOL. I think i will have to keep looking for something a little more reasonable because our budget is already blown (we are at $8700 for an ELOPEMENT!!!!!! ), but i really think we both need some camera exposure before the big day.

Totally agree. We didn't really want to spend money on them either since we saw similar quotes and our wedding photographer is too far away (albeit only about 6 hours), to do a practice run.

A friend of mine from high school is a photographer on the side and she's doing a giveaway on her FB page for a one hour photo shoot. We entered, hopefully we'll win! It would be a nice way to practice without having to pay for engagement pictures! She announces the winner tomorrow.

We're doing pretty okay with the elopement budget. I checked last night and so far we've only paid (or have committed to pay) just over $3,900. That's including everything from our package, photographer, extra night's stay, attire, rings, etc. All we really have left is little accessories and things. Our goal was to stay under 5k and I think we will even with our entertainment and food for the whole time we're there.

 

[TooPatient]

Leavenworth: website

We'll probably stick to the area around the actual town so it will be in mountain area with river & trees. The photographer is watching the weather and will finalize locations when we get closer.

I don't think I'd be bothering with e-pics if we weren't having a ceremony/reception. If we would have more one on one time with the photographer the day of, I'd probably just forget this part and we'd sort out getting to know her on the day we married. Since her packages come with e-pics it doesn't really cost us much (her package without would only save us about $150) and then we're able to have fewer hours on the day of because we won't be dealing with introductions and awkwardness.

I'll post when I have them!
Have to figure out clothes to wear for me and FI in the next month...

 

[audball]

Leavenworth: website

We'll probably stick to the area around the actual town so it will be in mountain area with river & trees. The photographer is watching the weather and will finalize locations when we get closer.

I don't think I'd be bothering with e-pics if we weren't having a ceremony/reception. If we would have more one on one time with the photographer the day of, I'd probably just forget this part and we'd sort out getting to know her on the day we married. Since her packages come with e-pics it doesn't really cost us much (her package without would only save us about $150) and then we're able to have fewer hours on the day of because we won't be dealing with introductions and awkwardness.

I'll post when I have them!
Have to figure out clothes to wear for me and FI in the next month...

HOLY CRAP THAT'S BEAUTIFUL! Sigh. After a week in Portland, I'm ready to pack my bags for life in the Pacific Northwest. Florida sucks.

 

[TooPatient]

I've always lived here and LOVE it! We've been camping in the Ho Rainforest and that is pretty amazing (the Hall of Mosses is great too!) but so is the Wenatchee National Forest...

Leavenworth is absolutely beautiful in winter with snow, in spring with wildflowers, in summer with all the trees/river/mountain, in autumn with some of the trees turning...

Florida looks amazing and I have always dreamed of living in a place that can grow so many yummy things! I suppose summer is less than comfortable though?



Updates:

Just got back with a bag of stuff for the wedding!
Will post pics later (need to go eat lunch now that it is 2pm!). Got the wine glass to use for the ceremony blessings, a small glass to break during the ceremony, and settled on the glasses we'll use for any toasts (or just along with the cake!).

 

[audball]

I've always lived here and LOVE it! We've been camping in the Ho Rainforest and that is pretty amazing (the Hall of Mosses is great too!) but so is the Wenatchee National Forest...

Leavenworth is absolutely beautiful in winter with snow, in spring with wildflowers, in summer with all the trees/river/mountain, in autumn with some of the trees turning...

Florida looks amazing and I have always dreamed of living in a place that can grow so many yummy things! I suppose summer is less than comfortable though?

I guess it's probably a "the grass is always greener" deal...Florida is beyond uncomfortable 9+ months a year. Summer (as in the known summer months...) is the most unbearable, but since summer-like weather lasts for 75% of the year, it's pretty miserable all the time. June, July, and August are unbearably hot with nearly 100% humidity. It rains every.single.day which makes it hotter and more humid.

The window of opportunity for nice weather here is between October and March, but it's inconsistent. There is no such thing as seasons here. We have hot, less hot, and random spurts of cooler/cold. There is no winter where it is seasonably cold for a consistent amount of time. Never snows (obviously). Our fall and winter comes in a few day long spans between October and March where we have a few days of cooler weather (usually mid 60s). We do get some cold fronts (again, random and sporadic) that can drop the temps to the 30s-50s, but with the humidity, it's bone chillingly cold. I hate the weather here.

Unfortunately our entire families are here in FL and I have a hard time imagining moving so far away from all of them (mine and FI's).It's unlikely that we ever will, but goodness what I'd give to have that PNW weather.

 

[audball]

Updates:

Just got back with a bag of stuff for the wedding!
Will post pics later (need to go eat lunch now that it is 2pm!). Got the wine glass to use for the ceremony blessings, a small glass to break during the ceremony, and settled on the glasses we'll use for any toasts (or just along with the cake!).

Can't wait to see!

 

[TooPatient]

Trying to figure out how many flowers I need to order. The lady who will order for me and maybe do a boutonniere and my bouquet called to confirm that she can get the orchids I want. They come in bunches of 10 stems and cost $50/bunch.

I think one bunch will be more than enough for a bouquet. Then a 2nd bunch for the cake and tables for reception. I'd been thinking about a garland (picture a really long lei) to drape around the chuppah, but that would be $$$ (probably $1000+ for what I'd been thinking). Maybe just a single bunch arranged in the center for a pop of color?

Centerpieces like these only using the purple Bombay dendrobiums...

 

[audball]

Those sound like they'll be beautiful TP! I'm not sure on quantities as it's not something I've even had to contemplate...but I think 10 stems would be enough for a bouquet and totally agree with keeping the chuppah flowers simple to keep the cost down.

 

[audball]

We WON! We got a free 1 hour photo shoot that we're going to use for engagement pictures!! SOOO Excited!!

 

[TooPatient]

We WON! We got a free 1 hour photo shoot that we're going to use for engagement pictures!! SOOO Excited!!

So exciting!

How fun that you get to work with an old friend!

 

[audball]

We WON! We got a free 1 hour photo shoot that we're going to use for engagement pictures!! SOOO Excited!!

So exciting!

How fun that you get to work with an old friend!

Indeed! We're going to do it on Saturday 9/21 in the hour or so before sunset. We're going to do it at our alma mater's campus where we first met! So excited.

 

[audball]

Wedding shoes are also here!

A few quick pictures that I snapped. I found the shoe on a random google search for vintage style mary jane wedding shoes.

They're WAY more than I've ever spent on shoes, but found them on sale at My Glass Slipper for 52% off. The designer is Angela Nuran and she designs wedding shoes made with ballroom dance shoe comfort. They're fully padded from heel to toe and so soft I can't believe it.

Her styles retail in the $300 range and this style is normally $290. I found them on sale for $139 and got an small coupon online that made them $134.

I was skeptical about the heel height (2.75"), but loved how they looked so much that I gave them a shot. They came in and they're just beautiful shoes. The white is silk, leather construction, suede soles. The buckle is white gold plated with no prongs to keep from snagging dresses and has swarovski crystals.

The height is a bit taller than I'm completely comfortable with, but the shoe being completely closed and the support of the strap makes it easier to walk in than if it were a more open style. I won't want to do more walking than necessary, but I can at least walk in them for short distances.

The pointed toe is the only thing about it that I don't find comfortable, but they're just so pretty I'll deal with it. I always find pointy toe shoes a bit squishy in the toe box, but I think that's just how they all are.

One more thing checked off my list!

 

[TooPatient]

Your pictures will be beautiful!

I love your shoes! The sparkly strap adds a great touch

 

[TooPatient]

Shoes....
I HATE buying shoes...

FI convinced me that since I always have such an awful time in stores I should just order online and send back the ones I don't choose.

Here are the ones I found at Zappos as possibilities (have to look at the place you got yours!) but I would like to narrow it down a bit since I'll probably need to order 2 or 3 sizes of each in order to find one of each that fits to really give them all a fair try.

What do you think? My feet are wide so that has limited me some. Both of the colored shoes also come in white. Not sure if I want to wear white shoes (I'd realistically only wear once a year after) or colored shoes (may be worn a bit more than the white, but not sure... maybe the colors would not go well with other stuff and I'd be stuck not wearing them too?). They won't really show out from under my dress but I'd still like them to be nice and COMFORTABLE. (I really love some of the colored POP shoes some of the PS ladies have worn -- Freke! -- and think that might be sort of fun...) I guess I just don't often wear dressy shoes so maybe I should just look at them as something that will last me forever because they'll never wear out??

Anyway...
Here are some pictures.

 

[audball]

Your pictures will be beautiful!

I love your shoes! The sparkly strap adds a great touch

Thanks! I'm looking forward to getting comfortable being photographed before our wedding day!

And thank you!! I'm in love with them and the strap is the thing that sold me.

 

[audball]

I hate buying shoes too. I wanted to buy something in person from a store so I could try multiple sizes, etc, but the style I wanted (vintage-esque with some pizzaz in a shorter heel height, completely closed shoe), I just wasn't finding them in stores and had to go to online.

Zappos is great because it's free shipping and free returns. They're also quick about processing the returns so your'e not out too much money more than necessary. This is a great route to go so you can try lots of things on.

I'm very happy with my shoes, but not thrilled with the customer service of My Glass Slipper. The shoes I ordered were $139 per pair. They were advertising "free shipping" with a coupon code to get $10 off. I entered it at checkout and instead of taking of the shipping charges ($10 for one pair, $11 for two pairs), it reduced the price of each pair of shoes by $5 (I ordered two sizes to try). So the shoes were now $134/pair and I still paid $11 for shipping. They don't do free shipping or free returns. They include a return shipping label that is a drop off UPS label. When they process your return, you get "charged" $8 for returning 1 pair, $10 for returning 2 pairs, etc. I returned one pair so my refunded credit is for $126. Because they reduced the price of each pair of shoes by $5 instead of actually removing the shipping amount, I'm only getting back $126, instead of $131 for returning a pair. At the end of the day, it was only $5, but still, I thought that was a crappy way to handle it. If your'e advertising it as "free shipping", that's how you should take it off at checkout. (end rant). I wouldn't recommend ordering from them if you need to try lots of sizes because they charge shipping both ways and if you return more than 4 pairs, they charge a restocking fee as well. If you find a pair you LOVE and know it's it, then worth it, but not for a method of trying lots of things in multiple sizes. Hope that helps!

I'd honestly stick with Zappos so you can try lots of things and choose something. They have a search feature for shoes available in a wider width too if I recall correctly. I also had good experiences with modcloth.com since they do free shipping and free returns as well. They're customers tend to post very helpful reviews too. That being said, they're style/company is all vintage-esque, so if that isn't the style you'd want, they may not have anything you like.

I TOTALLY get wanting something in a fun color. I had my heart set on colored shoes for a long time, but with the peach dress, color just wasn't working of all the options I tried. So I went to sparkly and white. I think with your dress being white and long that you should go for something colored for fun! And bonus that you'll be more likely to re-wear it down the road.

I LOVE the look of the Vigotti metis purple ones. Super fun. I'm not sure how comfortable they'd be...but they're beautiful.

I don't care too much for the David Tate knot shoes. They seem way too casual. I also tend to find shoes that are super strappy like that less comfortable because they tend to rub and pinch me.

The David Tate rosette shoes are really lovely! Seems like a good balance of fancy, colored, not too high of a heel, and the straps are a bit wider and would prevent too much rubbing (in my opinion).

The Vigotti mosey are pretty too, but don't seem particular special compared to some of your other choices.

 

[TooPatient]

Thanks for the help! I think I should stick with Zappos for the easy shipping and returns. Last time I needed shoes I ended up buying and returning four pairs despite trying them on and initially liking them.

Ordered two sizes of the purple. Hopefully one fits and is comfortable. They don't have the blue pair in my size (or even close) and same with silver in that style.

 

[audball]

Thanks for the help! I think I should stick with Zappos for the easy shipping and returns. Last time I needed shoes I ended up buying and returning four pairs despite trying them on and initially liking them.

Ordered two sizes of the purple. Hopefully one fits and is comfortable. They don't have the blue pair in my size (or even close) and same with silver in that style.

I hope you love them!

 

[gem_anemone]

TP not sure if you would be interested in something like this for your flowers or how many flowers you need, but if you know someone with a Sam's Club membership they sell orchid stems by the case. You can get around 60-70 stems for $140 depending on what color/size you want.

This is a mock up of my centerpieces:

 

[TooPatient]

TP not sure if you would be interested in something like this for your flowers or how many flowers you need, but if you know someone with a Sam's Club membership they sell orchid stems by the case. You can get around 60-70 stems for $140 depending on what color/size you want.

This is a mock up of my centerpieces:

I'd join Sam's Club for that!

Thanks for the info! I'll have to call our local store and see if they can do that.


Beautiful centerpieces! Did you do those?