getting lost in stupid stuff

[TooPatient]

Have to run make dinner so we can eat and then go to curriculum night but wanted to post a quick update.

Rabbi no-showed on us. Spent 45 minutes waiting for him but he was dealing with two funerals and sitting with those families. His assistant didn't know that he had called (supposedly) yesterday to cancel. (I have no record on home or cell phone of any missed call so maybe he called an out of date number?)

While we were waiting we did get some stuff done! Got all of the extra kippot we'll need for guests and FI found a great cake server.


New name --
All new last name. Will not be based on either of our names. Neither of us have any real connection to our families (especially father's side where the names come from). We were hoping Rabbi would help us select a name today. We've been looking at some possibilities and wanted his input into which would be most appropriate.


I am going NUTS over here!!!!
It is ONE MONTH from the wedding. Rabbi has no-showed 4/6 times for our appointments. (most rescheduled at least a couple of hours before so we didn't sit around waiting). I'm pretty sure he'll make it to the wedding. Need to call the other guy who is a Rabbi (invited as guest but still no reply) to see if he's able to act as back up in case something happens and this Rabbi can't make it.
Have not been through any sort of run through of the ceremony. Have NO idea where to stand, when to walk, what to say, to circle 3 times or 7, NOTHING! Not likely Rabbi will show up early enough to do any sort of rehearsal.
I feel so lost!
I've never so much as attended a Jewish wedding as a guest!

 

[wakingdreams53]

Wow TP, I'm sorry about your flakey Rabbi!! I've been to many orthodox Jewish weddings but would be the last person who'd actually know the progression in the ceremony! Lots of prayers, much more circling than 3 times, 7 makes sense -- from the weddings I've witnessed. I hope the other Rabbi is a ready & willing back up! ***Rabbi Dust****

 

[TooPatient]

Wow TP, I'm sorry about your flakey Rabbi!! I've been to many orthodox Jewish weddings but would be the last person who'd actually know the progression in the ceremony! Lots of prayers, much more circling than 3 times, 7 makes sense -- from the weddings I've witnessed. I hope the other Rabbi is a ready & willing back up! ***Rabbi Dust****

Thanks!

I get the feeling that the Rabbi is just fine and it is his assistant who has issues. She has our old phone numbers on file (despite my giving her the new one repeatedly and saying it is the ONLY number we use) and has lost other papers over the last few months. She was also the MAJOR obstacle in getting a date set (Nothing like getting a call from the Rabbi and trying to persuade him to set a date only to find out that we had agreed on a date the day before (his assistant said she'd spoken with us and we had agreed to the date.... um... No.) -- we were the last people to know the date of our own wedding!)

I think 7 circles is the usual but some communities choose to do 3. The prayers and basic ceremony stuff is straight out of the book so we have that. It is the stuff in between that I'm totally lost on. There is also some that is done in some communities and not in others. Mostly stuff that I'd probably just skip but don't want to offend anyone by skipping something that matters.

 

[audball]

How's it going, ladies!? I'm dying for some more updates!!

 

[antiquesparkler]

No updates here really. I made an appointment to try on more wedding dresses for next Wednesday. Now I am onto debating about engagement pictures...Are they worth the money? We have quite a few pictures together... I would love some fall pics with the changing leaves but I am not sure if we should do it this fall or next fall... Especially if we get married late winter 2015...

Too many choices!

Okay. I am done rambling.

 

[audball]

You'd better have pictures this time!

Most photographers include an engagement shoot when you book a wedding, but if you're doing a destination elopement now, you likely won't meet your photographer(s) until the day of (like us). We are doing engagement pictures but we aren't paying for them. We won a giveaway for a free 1 hour photo shoot locally. We did not budget for them because without booking together with a wedding, we found the cost to be too prohibitive. I was bummed because we really don't have many pictures of the two of us, so I'm glad it worked out how it did. That being said, if we hadn't gotten them for free (or cheap), I probably would have skipped them as planned.

 

[vc10um]

From my personal experience, I can't begin to tell you how amazingly invaluable engagement pictures were, mostly for my DH. He's INCREDIBLY uncomfortable in front of the camera...or at least he WAS before our e-pics. We had 4 wedding-related sets of pictures (e-pics with our wedding photog in KC, cherry blossom e-pics where we lived in DC, our actual wedding day, and a post-wedding shoot in my hometown) and in each successive set of pictures, he gets more relaxed and by the end he could work a lens, let me tell you! So I definitely think it's worth it to get a set of pro (or even semi-pro) shots done before the wedding.

Getting excited to see all the progress you ladies are making!!!

 

[TooPatient]

Ordered flowers!

Still waiting to talk to Rabbi and (hopefully) back-up Rabbi. Can't do that until Monday due to holiday stuff.

Hoping to get more done tomorrow!

 

[TooPatient]

Chef sent menus for approval! Driving now. Can't open PDF so have to wait until I get home. Yay! So excited to see what we're having for dinner!

 

[TooPatient]

Did i post earring pics? Hmmm.... Should post a whole jewelry pic!

Gifts arriving. Do i have to wait until after to send thank you notes or can i send now?

 

[audball]

From my personal experience, I can't begin to tell you how amazingly invaluable engagement pictures were, mostly for my DH. He's INCREDIBLY uncomfortable in front of the camera...or at least he WAS before our e-pics. We had 4 wedding-related sets of pictures (e-pics with our wedding photog in KC, cherry blossom e-pics where we lived in DC, our actual wedding day, and a post-wedding shoot in my hometown) and in each successive set of pictures, he gets more relaxed and by the end he could work a lens, let me tell you! So I definitely think it's worth it to get a set of pro (or even semi-pro) shots done before the wedding.

Getting excited to see all the progress you ladies are making!!!

This is definitely a good point! It's one of the biggest reasons I wanted to do them since we've never been photographed before and I wanted to get comfortable with the idea before the big day. With our semi-destination elopement, though, we won't be able to meet our photographer before hand and the cost for using someone local for engagement pictures only was way higher than we could splurge on with our budget set where it was. Thankfully, lucky us!, we won a 1 hour engagement shoot so we'll get to practice without the added expense.

 

[audball]

Ordered flowers!

Still waiting to talk to Rabbi and (hopefully) back-up Rabbi. Can't do that until Monday due to holiday stuff.

Hoping to get more done tomorrow!

Woot! Slowly but surely! Hopefully you can get the Rabbi stuff sorted out soon! A backup definitely sounds like a good idea given the circumstances.

Chef sent menus for approval! Driving now. Can't open PDF so have to wait until I get home. Yay! So excited to see what we're having for dinner!

Can't wait to hear about the food!

Did i post earring pics? Hmmm.... Should post a whole jewelry pic!

Gifts arriving. Do i have to wait until after to send thank you notes or can i send now?

You didn't! We need pictures

I think it's totally fine to start sending thank you notes now..may as well get a head start!

 

[TooPatient]

From my personal experience, I can't begin to tell you how amazingly invaluable engagement pictures were, mostly for my DH. He's INCREDIBLY uncomfortable in front of the camera...or at least he WAS before our e-pics. We had 4 wedding-related sets of pictures (e-pics with our wedding photog in KC, cherry blossom e-pics where we lived in DC, our actual wedding day, and a post-wedding shoot in my hometown) and in each successive set of pictures, he gets more relaxed and by the end he could work a lens, let me tell you! So I definitely think it's worth it to get a set of pro (or even semi-pro) shots done before the wedding.

Getting excited to see all the progress you ladies are making!!!

This is definitely a good point! It's one of the biggest reasons I wanted to do them since we've never been photographed before and I wanted to get comfortable with the idea before the big day. With our semi-destination elopement, though, we won't be able to meet our photographer before hand and the cost for using someone local for engagement pictures only was way higher than we could splurge on with our budget set where it was. Thankfully, lucky us!, we won a 1 hour engagement shoot so we'll get to practice without the added expense.

That was why we did them too. The photographer added them to our package for $100. Well worth it!
Neither of us are comfortable with pictures so this let us get through those nerves before the day of the wedding.

 

[TooPatient]

Close enough for Chef to know what veggies will be ready to pick from his garden! Most of the food is grown on site and all the rest is brought from as local as possible. Still need to pick a 3rd hors d'ouevre and figure out a brunch dish. Also working on final wine pairings.

Doing wine tasting after brunch. May have them add on fruit & cheese tray for munching with that.

Arranging to have a bottle of wine & keepsake glasses in each guest room along with Chef's chocolate truffles.


passed hors d'ouevres:

bruschetta with marinated tomatoes and olive tapenade
mushrooms with fresh rhubarb compote
3rd????

Dinner:

Spinach, arugula, strawberry salad with cheese (parmesan or manchego) & clover vinaigrette
sweet corn bisque with vanilla pablano crème
wild Pacific salmon on fingerling potatoes, medjool dates, fennel and watercress

champagne toast

cake:
multi-tiered cake with different cake/filling combo each tier


brunch:

house granola & yogurt
sliced fruits & melons
house baked breakfast breads, muffins, scones, cinnamon rolls with estate preserves & butter
egg dish????? (had been eggs benedict with smoked salmon but FI (who heard about this months ago but forgot) doesn't eat poached or fried eggs and detests hollandaise sauce --- swapping to a frittata or Florentine?)
orange juice & coffee

 

[TooPatient]

Done:
STD's mailed
his w-band bought
venue selected/booked
wine tasting arranged
cake
invitations
figure out who is sharing room with "A"
who to drive "A" over on the day of
Place in our house for TWO guests to stay (not a couple so need two locations)
My necklace (sapphire & diamond)
my w-band
new kippah for FI
kippah for "A"
DRESS
order kosher wine for blessings
plane ticket for out of town guest
gift registry
Staying Friday night too!
KETUBAH!!!
photographer
engagement photos -- taken!
someone to watch animals for at least 2 nights
find a glass to break
toasting glasses
special Kiddush cup
schedule mikvah visit for me
chuppah
new tallit for FI
translate Hebrew sections to English to print for guests (leaving this to FI)
rental car of OOT guests
underwear to go with dress
outfits to wear for e-pics!
veil (hanging with my dress now!)
shoes
flowers
dinner menu
kippot (plural of kippah) for guests


In process:
DJ (FI working out music list etc)
music selection
brunch menu (so close!)
nails (1st place no good... trying 2nd place soon!)
book of blessings for dinner
dress fittings (finished one, second scheduled)
order kosher meals for Rabbi & cantor (1st choice is place in NY, if they can't ship to us we'll have to do local)
Place for OOT guest to sleep in our house (both rooms figured out, one ready to use, one almost ready)
pre-wedding counseling with Rabbi (2 done, 1 to go)
dress for "A" (waiting for September since she's growing fast!)
wine pairings (just about done!)

To do:
hair
his tux
frame to hang ketubah
ceremony programs
marriage license
centerpiece materials
FI haircut

 

[antiquesparkler]

Thanks for the advice ladies! I am in the process of scheduling something with a semi-professional photographer. He just does photography on the evenings and weekends (and has a different day job) and no studio so he is incredibly reasonable but his pictures are gorgeous. Hopefully we can figure out a date that works because there is only a short window of pretty leaves here.

TooPatient, Your menu sounds delicious! Can I come?! JK What are your choices for your third appetizer? We will help you choose!

Show us your jewelry too!

 

[TooPatient]

Thanks for the advice ladies! I am in the process of scheduling something with a semi-professional photographer. He just does photography on the evenings and weekends (and has a different day job) and no studio so he is incredibly reasonable but his pictures are gorgeous. Hopefully we can figure out a date that works because there is only a short window of pretty leaves here.

TooPatient, Your menu sounds delicious! Can I come?! JK What are your choices for your third appetizer? We will help you choose!

Show us your jewelry too!

Sounds like a great option for photography!


3rd appetizer can be pretty much anything. The mushroom & rhubarb is something Chef created for us!
It does have to be vegetarian (dairy okay) and I'd like to have it be gluten free.
We sampled some amazing house-made ricotta cheese with apricot preserves (made on site with apricots picked on site ) but that was in a puff pastry (which was also good but I can only have small amounts of wheat). I'm thinking about just doing that one as I probably won't have much time to eat appetizers anyway.

Pics soon!
Have to get some dishes and stuff done before I pull the jewelry out!

 

[TooPatient]

Accepted invites -- 11 (9 if you don't count Rabbi & Cantor)
Declined invites -- 12
no reply -- 2

Of those 11, 2 are being paid to be there and will stay just long enough for the ceremony and to eat dinner. So there will be nine (plus the 3 of us) assuming everyone shows up. Of those, at least 2 more plan to leave right after dinner and drive home.


So.....

Add us to elope!

I'll be talking with the Rabbi on Tuesday to get it all set up and confirmed. Tentative plan it to sign the papers with Rabbi (maybe our 2 OOT guests) then go out to dinner (5 of us total) Tuesday 10/15. Then FI & I drive over to the winery Wednesday. OOT guests and the others join us Thursday for reception dinner/brunch & wine tasting as originally planned. (I will of course let people know of the change so they can opt out of coming if they'd like)


It has been a rough couple of days realizing that our best case would be 10 people watching the ceremony (which is still completely unplanned -- no music selected, no idea where to walk or stand, etc) and utter chaos. Add to that the Rabbi no-showing 4/6 times on us and that just about does it! At least signing in Rabbi's office, we can grab two random Jewish males as witnesses and have a valid marriage.

 

[TooPatient]

Oh...

It isn't just the small number of people who accepted the invite or the concern over the Rabbi showing up or not that caused us to make this choice. Of the 9 guests, only 2 are Jewish (15 invited from our Jewish community). Everyone else would have no idea what was going on and the sections that should have them joining in would be a bit... sad.

FI and I are very upset by this. It is NOT because it is on a Thursday (part of choosing Thursday was that a good handful of the invites went to people who don't work on Fridays (and are done by like noon on Thursdays) or are retired entirely). There are a few people who genuinely can't make it due to work obligations (I expected this as vacation time is difficult for them to get mid-week or weekends) but all others have super flexible work schedules and generous vacation packages. Only 2 guests have kids at home (1 has friends who have watched them in past, the other has a single 14 year old and there is no school the next day) so that should have caused minimal problems.

One lady sat with us at a group dinner telling us all about her 10 day trip to Israel and then told us she just doesn't have enough vacation days to come to our wedding (even if she didn't stay over)... then went on to tell everyone at the table how she'd just booked a 10-day all-inclusive to Mexico (for shortly after our wedding).

Even my own aunt hasn't confirmed that she'll be at the wedding!
We have a room reserved for her so she doesn't have to worry about paying for anything. She could even carpool over with my brother if she didn't feel like driving.

My grandparents (one of the big reasons we were doing a wedding to begin with!) took a long time replying and every time I talked to them, there was nothing but complaints! (They have a vacation place about an hour and a half past the winery so routinely (a couple of times a month or more) drive right past the winery. They also go camping with a group of friends and travel around the US so it isn't like they are uncomfortable away from home...). Ranging from grumbling about how "fancy" the place was to how they'd have to "dress up" and beyond!


Not much to be done about my family (or his!), but we CAN do something about our community. We may or may not remain members of the congregation we're part of now. If we do, we'll be spending a lot less time trying to get to know the "in-group" and a lot more time welcoming people who are new to the community into our home. The entire place is so full of cliques that it is difficult to get to know people. Other people have commented on this too...
So.... You can only change your own actions. We can't change the other people in the community but we CAN be welcoming to new people who come in so that they don't have the same isolation we've been facing. We've tried to do this in past but we'll try again even harder!

 

[audball]

TP! Oh goodness! I hope you're doing okay! Why not just cancel the winery reception altogether if your'e just going to elope with the Rabbi privately? I'm so sorry you're feeling hurt!

 

[TooPatient]

TP! Oh goodness! I hope you're doing okay! Why not just cancel the winery reception altogether if your'e just going to elope with the Rabbi privately? I'm so sorry you're feeling hurt!

Thought about it!

Given the very few people who are going to be there, it seems like it may be a good idea. We do have guests who have already booked a room to stay over and a couple more coming up from California (tickets already purchased). The winery has been amazing and will likely cut the number (again) in the contract down to 7 (started at 30) but I don't think they'd let us cancel entirely. Once I get confirmation from the Rabbi, we will change the winery plans some. I'm hoping we can move into the restaurant rather than the separate room (7 in a room for 200 would be sad!) or at least the other room we'd looked at (holds 20). That would mean no DJ (thankfully I got confirmation that the last guests wouldn't be making it before signing a contract!) so we'll either use music from the restaurant or (only if it doesn't just pipe into the other room) bring our computer speakers for a bit of background noise.
We'll go ahead with brunch and wine tasting -- possibly even shift to a full out barrel tasting.
I'm hoping that they'll cut the contract enough that we don't owe them anything and maybe they will even refund some. Or, at least, send us home with cases of wine to make up the difference!
Changing menu from salmon to beef tenderloin (FI and I don't like fish -- that was for Rabbi and the other members of our Jewish community!) -- I LOVE the tenderloin Chef prepares!

I do need to check with my aunt and see how my grandparents feel about the whole thing. They seemed excited and then just lost interest but I heard one of their friends talking so now I don't know what to think. I don't want them to drive over and be uncomfortable but I don't want them to feel excluded.

My dress is already being altered. We'll probably go ahead and rent the tux for FI. The photographer will be there. We can still get amazing pictures at the winery.

I only ordered the orchids so there isn't a huge amount of flowers to go to waste.

3-tiered cake (meant for 60+) will be a bit much but won't look huge (bottom tier is something like 8 inches).


BIG problem right now is the ketubah. I ordered it with no date so we could fill that part in (if the sun goes down, you put the next day as the date) but I had the calligrapher do the location. I'm okay with that being incorrect, but I don't know if Rabbi will be okay with this.

Rabbi doesn't work Sunday or Monday. I HAVE to get through to him on Tuesday. Wednesday is the start of more holidays that run right into Shabbat so if I can't get through on Tuesday he won't be around again until the next Tuesday!


All the stress and expense of having a full wedding and then to end up eloping!
I should have skipped the whole thing to begin with!


Not doing great right now. The whole thing is just miserable. We've had to explain the changes to "A" so that she knows what is going on. She'll still get her new dress too and come to the winery for dinner & brunch but there won't be the ceremony. She seems to have been really excited for that part
I know that we don't have much of a choice. There just aren't enough people going to be there to make it not be sad and goofy. I'd rather recognize that now and get the chance to celebrate quietly with a nice dinner/brunch at the winery than wish for something different.

 

[TooPatient]

How did your topper turn out?

Are you happy with your new hair pieces?

You are so close!!!!

 

[antiquesparkler]

I am so sorry TooPatient. Shame on all these people from your community. Maybe a change would be good after all this. At least, in the end you will be married to a great guy. It sucks that you have to go through all of this but at the end you will have a hubby and some amazing winery pictures. I hope things all fall into place so you don't have to stress anymore. hugs!!

 

[audball]

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. I do see and understand how all out cancelling at this point isn't very practical either. I think moving into the restaurant's room that holds 20 sounds like the best solution of all the ones you mentioned. Privacy, but not in an overly large sized space. I'm glad you hadn't yet signed for the DJ -- one less thing to worry about. I think the brunch and wine tasting will be great, even if you will have less guests than you planned. Try to focus on those who will be there and fully enjoy the time.

And woot! on changing the menu. Beef tenderloin sounds YUM (I'm not a fish fan either...).

For what it's worth -- I do not think it would be sad to have the ceremony as planned with the guests who want to share the day with you, no matter how small the number. Wear your dress. You deserve it. Get FI a tux and take those pictures! Make the most of your day and don't worry about everyone else.

Hopefully you can work with the ketubah as is -- let us know what the Rabbi says! bummer you may have to wait a week on an answer...I hope that's not the case!

Big big hugs friend! How's "A" taking all this? I think you should still get her a special dress and let her come with you to the ceremony, even if it's on Tuesday. I absolutely think you need to listen to your heart. I wish you all the best!! Vent here as much as you need to!!

 

[audball]

How did your topper turn out?

Are you happy with your new hair pieces?

You are so close!!!!

Thanks for checking on me! Still working on the cake topper. We picked up one more piece for it over the weekend but I still need one more thing to finish it off.

I went to pick up my pearls that I had restrung and had to leave them to be redone. They were 22" and I had asked them to be shortened to 18" and have the clasp rhodium plated (it was yellow gold). They plated the clasp but when I tried them on, they seemed a bit too long. They took out the ruler and they were, an inch too long at 19". They're redoing them free, of course, but it'll be a few more days before we can officially check that off.

I think I've decided to borrow my sister's pearl studs that will check off my earrings and my something borrowed.

We need one more component to finish off the cake topper before any reveals!

I have all the stationary now to put together our vow cards, but I need to actually get around to assembling them.

I need to go this week or next weekend to shop for undergarments for the dress so I can officially get an alterations appointment going.

So much to do still it feels like!

ETA: Just called and made an appointment for alterations! On the books for Saturday at noon. Eek! Size 12 it is...the 10 isn't going to close comfortably in time. I'm getting over it.

 

[TooPatient]

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. I do see and understand how all out cancelling at this point isn't very practical either. I think moving into the restaurant's room that holds 20 sounds like the best solution of all the ones you mentioned. Privacy, but not in an overly large sized space. I'm glad you hadn't yet signed for the DJ -- one less thing to worry about. I think the brunch and wine tasting will be great, even if you will have less guests than you planned. Try to focus on those who will be there and fully enjoy the time.

And woot! on changing the menu. Beef tenderloin sounds YUM (I'm not a fish fan either...).

For what it's worth -- I do not think it would be sad to have the ceremony as planned with the guests who want to share the day with you, no matter how small the number. Wear your dress. You deserve it. Get FI a tux and take those pictures! Make the most of your day and don't worry about everyone else.

Hopefully you can work with the ketubah as is -- let us know what the Rabbi says! bummer you may have to wait a week on an answer...I hope that's not the case!

Big big hugs friend! How's "A" taking all this? I think you should still get her a special dress and let her come with you to the ceremony, even if it's on Tuesday. I absolutely think you need to listen to your heart. I wish you all the best!! Vent here as much as you need to!!

I think a lot of small ceremonies can work beautifully. It just seems like this wouldn't go well. The ceremony is in Hebrew and only one guest who accepted knows Hebrew. The community join-in parts are all Hebrew so only the Cantor and the one guest could do this. (3 guests are uninterested/unwilling to even read a transliterated page...)

We will certainly do pics in my dress and have a great time! Lots of good food and good wine!

"A" is sort of sad but doing okay. She seems to understand our concerns (among other things, if the Rabbi or Cantor didn't show up we wouldn't have enough valid witnesses to actually complete the ceremony) and we've talked about how weddings are stressful but this is NOT normal.
She and I are still going out to get a nice dress for her. I'm going to see about taking her with me to get her nails done too. Not sure what I want to do with hair/make-up even for myself.
She knows she'll also come with us to the signing part with Rabbi.

 

[TooPatient]

How did your topper turn out?

Are you happy with your new hair pieces?

You are so close!!!!

Thanks for checking on me! Still working on the cake topper. We picked up one more piece for it over the weekend but I still need one more thing to finish it off.

I went to pick up my pearls that I had restrung and had to leave them to be redone. They were 22" and I had asked them to be shortened to 18" and have the clasp rhodium plated (it was yellow gold). They plated the clasp but when I tried them on, they seemed a bit too long. They took out the ruler and they were, an inch too long at 19". They're redoing them free, of course, but it'll be a few more days before we can officially check that off.

I think I've decided to borrow my sister's pearl studs that will check off my earrings and my something borrowed.

We need one more component to finish off the cake topper before any reveals!

I have all the stationary now to put together our vow cards, but I need to actually get around to assembling them.

I need to go this week or next weekend to shop for undergarments for the dress so I can officially get an alterations appointment going.

So much to do still it feels like!

ETA: Just called and made an appointment for alterations! On the books for Saturday at noon. Eek! Size 12 it is...the 10 isn't going to close comfortably in time. I'm getting over it.

Exciting!

I can't wait to see pictures as you start to finish everything!

 

[audball]

Official Update

DONE:
His wedding band
Her wedding band
Her dress
His suit/shirt/tie
Booked hair/makeup for day of
Booked elopement package
Booked additional nights stay
Selected officiant
Selected cake style/flavors
Purchased cake topper supplies
Booked dinner reservations for wedding dinner
Booked photographer
Ordered flower selections
Wrote personal vows
Finalized ceremony script and got it approved by the officiant
Purchased bridal shoes
Scheduled engagement pictures
Purchased new point and shoot camera for trip
Purchased garment bags to transport wedding outfits
Purchased outfits for engagement pictures
Purchased clutch
Purchased stationary (small cards/envelopes) to write vows on for ceremony and to have as a keepsake
Purchased fun socks for Groom
Purchased bridal hair accessory

IN PROGRESS:
Assemble/finish cake topper
Purchase/borrow/select bridal jewelry
Get dress altered (apt for 9/28!)

TO DO:
Purchase undergarments for dress
Make spa appointments (mani/pedi, etc) (will make in early-mid Oct)
MARRIAGE LICENSE (will make apt in early Oct for day before wedding)

 

[audball]

Exciting!

I can't wait to see pictures as you start to finish everything!

Thanks!

How are you holding up? Anything we can do to help?

 

[audball]

I think a lot of small ceremonies can work beautifully. It just seems like this wouldn't go well. The ceremony is in Hebrew and only one guest who accepted knows Hebrew. The community join-in parts are all Hebrew so only the Cantor and the one guest could do this. (3 guests are uninterested/unwilling to even read a transliterated page...)

We will certainly do pics in my dress and have a great time! Lots of good food and good wine!

"A" is sort of sad but doing okay. She seems to understand our concerns (among other things, if the Rabbi or Cantor didn't show up we wouldn't have enough valid witnesses to actually complete the ceremony) and we've talked about how weddings are stressful but this is NOT normal.
She and I are still going out to get a nice dress for her. I'm going to see about taking her with me to get her nails done too. Not sure what I want to do with hair/make-up even for myself.
She knows she'll also come with us to the signing part with Rabbi.

I see, that makes more sense when you explain it that way. Everything happens for a reason -- your wedding will be beautiful no matter how you choose to celebrate it.