Getting Married....and the cost scares me!

[UCLABelle]

Hi!

So, I am working on my August 29th 2008 wedding. I booked the church (St. Catherines of Siena, Laguna Beach), and the reception location (French 75 Laguna Beach)....and already the cost is scaring me.

We are only having 30 people max, and I was hoping to keep it under $5,000---but it looks like it will be more like $10,000....

What is the average cost of a wedding in Southern California? And the US? Finally, how much did you spend or are spending?

Am I the only shocked at the cost of weddings?!?!?!

 

[robbie3982]

No idea about California, but in Pittsburgh, we spent $13-15k for 135 people.

 

[E B]

In Dallas, we spent a little over $15,000 for 100 people.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Weddings are expensive. That being said, you can have a wedding on ANY budget. We had a wedding for 38 people which helped reduce the costs, but many costs (the venue, the dress, photographer, musicians, etc.) are the same regardless of the number of guests.

The budget is one of the first things we discussed because we're both cheapskates and have worked really hard to save the money we have, so spending it isn't fun for us. We ultimately decided that we would not touch our savings account for our wedding, and I think that was the best wedding-related decision we made.

What we did was figure out how much time we had between getting engaged and getting married, which was 7 months, then we figured out how much we could put away into savings over those 7 months so that we wouldn't have to touch our current savings account. That number became our budget.

Even after setting our budget, we still negotiated everything we could. When all was said and done, we came in about $5,000 under budget, which made us happy because it meant we could still have our honeymoon without digging into savings.

UCLA, where are you having the wedding? Since you're only having 30 guests, you have some flexibility. To keep the costs at $5,000 I would have the wedding in a non-traditional venue--many beaches have a small fee to use them for weddings. For a reception, I think your best option is to have it at a restaurant. Our catering, table rentals/chair/china/silverware rentals and alcohol were more expensive than if we'd had the reception at a nice restaurant. We wanted the dinner to be at our venue, so we decided to bite the bullet and negotiate what we could. Many caterers make you order a "minimum" amount (ours was a minimum of 45 meals) and we were able to get out of that which saved us quite a bit of money. We just had to be flexible and not work with vendors who wouldn't work with us.

You guys will definitely figure it out, you might just have to be creative and be flexible!

ETA: Oops, i saw you already booked the church. Nevermind the outside idea!

 

[UCLABelle]

NewEnglandLady-That was very helpful. You caught that I already booked the church, which was $1200 and then an additional 300-400 for the "Church Wedding Coordinator", "Music", etc...That really did surprise me.

 

[Elmorton]

Ours was 125 ppl...about 8 weeks before the wedding, I found the first budget we ever sketched out...it was $12k (including EVERYTHING, hotel rooms, honeymoon, all). Ahhhh...ignorance was truly bliss. We figured that with a small-med crowd, we'd easily spend less than 20k (as I'd heard was the typical cost of a wedding with 250 guests), but as it sounds like you're finding, there are a lot of costs that have nothing to do with how many guests you have. We DIYed what we could (invitation inserts, favors, programs, place cards), went simple for other things (flowers, centerpieces, invitations, rehearsal dinner) but we also picked the "best" (=expensive) vendors in town for the majority of our details. Therefore, there were a lot of things that we didn't cut a lot of corners on (attire, food, venue, photography, spa, hotel arrangements) and it added up pretty quickly. That's NOT to say it can't be done - your poll is definitely a testiment to wide range of what's really spent on a wedding. But, that said, I was absolutely floored by all "flat" expenses that we would have paid even if we had half the number of guests.

ETA: We're in central IL, so weddings can be considerably cheaper here than in a metro area, although I'd say the avg I hear is about the same as the national - 20-25k.

 

[AceP]

i''m having 90 ppl in a tropical destination and am hoping and praying i can keep it to $40,000. one thing i''ve discovered that''s been really irritating is that in a tropical destination, the vendors have a captive audience. they don''t negotiate as much as i''ve heard about in big metro areas or smaller towns. but my wedding also includes friday night dinner and sunday brunch for all guests, so that too can raise the price of a destination wedding.

 

[partyjewels]

We budgeted ours for $10,000 and we are confidant we can stick to it, we have wiggle room to go to $15,000 if necessary, however thats our max.

Ours is approx 200 people and it's located in Wisconsin.

You're not the only one to have wedding price sticker shock I'm sure I certainly did when I first started looking around, but then we talked to lots of friends/family who recently tied the knot and found that it is doable to get what you want for a lot less as long as you're willing to compromise sometimes.

ETA: Our reception is in a very nice, great food restaurant that is very us, and FI is very excited to have it there as they brew their own beer, so he gets to have Micro brew at the wedding for a very low cost The beer is less expensive than the soda! But we did source a couple of caterers that still would be within our budget and have great food.

 

[dani13]

We only had 125 people at our wedding, in NYC area, and spent *gulp* around 60K!!!!! Weddings are ridiculously expensive. We dont regret spending the $$$ at all though. We had an absolutely fabulous day, and we wouldnt have changed anything about it!!!

 

[Pandora II]

I'm in the UK, where the average wedding costs an eye-watering $50k and in the most expensive area of the country. We are trying to keep our budget to $28k maximum not including the rings or honeymoon, for 120 guests.

Some good ways to cut costs that I have found are:

Not having wedding cars - my ceremony and venue are on the same site so the only car needed is to get to the venue and my father is just going to drive me in his own - afterall, no-one will see!

Having a buffet as an entree.

DIYing flowers, cake, stationery, favours etc. Ask round friends and relatives to see if they have hidden fower arranging or baking talents.

Using an aternative to an expensive pro wedding photographer:

Mine is a semi-professional photographer, who does a lot of photojournalist work for the political party I work for and covers a lot of my work events for me. He does a few weddings a year for friends and has agreed to do ours. He's charging me around $700 for 12 hours attendance, editing, full set of high-res images on cd and complete rights to the images. He has an amazing set of kit - including the biggest lense I have ever seen in my life!

College degree courses are another place to find good photographers for less as they will be trying to build their portfoliios.

 

[aljdewey]

I married just over 3 years ago with a group almost identical to yours (29 people), and we were able to keep it to $7k for the wedding (not including the rings) and about 4K for the honeymoon.

We married in an outdoor rose garden ($500 rental fee); and we held our reception on a chartered schooner ($1500), so that kept costs down. We had a catered meal aboard. This eliminated the need for seating charts, centerpieces, and pretty much any floral budget except for bouquets.

We got a FAB photographer who usually runs 2500-5000 for packages; we explained we didn''t need a ton of candid coverage during reception, so she worked with us on an hourly fee arrangement. This worked great; we only had to pay $900 up front for the 3 hours coverage, and when I bought the album months after the wedding, it wasn''t as tough to chip up the expense for it.

We hired a flutist ($150) at the ceremony, and a friend of ours was solemnized by our state to perform the wedding ($25).

We chose off-times to help keep the cost in line; we did a Sunday late afternoon wedding and sunset sail.

If you''re willing to think outside the box, you can definitely swing a wedding for your budget.

 

[KimberlyH]

We were married in Southern CA in 2006. We had 28 guests and the wedding (not including rings) cost about $7,000. If we''d chosen a different venue we could have kept it under $5,000.

 

[UCLABelle]

KimberlyH- How long was your reception for 28 people?

I am just having short dinner (5:30- (they offer two time slots, the other being 8:30-11). I could have rented out the whole place for the night at $4500 min food and beverage, but I think with our size, the time is okay....and I prefer not to spend that much...

 

[StarSpun]

Heya!

Ok lets see, for our wedding, it''s not going to be much. We have about 25 people coming down to Florida (from Canada) for a beach wedding and then a cruise. Everyone is paying their own way/cruise, and it''s only about $300pp.

Even if the dress and stuff is included in this, then I''d say we''re spending under $5000 for sure. The cruise was a good way to go for us, because dinner is all inclusive (all food is, yay!) and we''re really just paying for the reception after the beach wedding when we board, which is about $1600, plus $100 for a DJ. The reception is an hour and a half, and it includes open bar, ice sculpture, h''orderves, room rental, music, officiant (we''re using that out on the beach first though), a photographer (which is a joke probably so we''re bringing our own) a cake with topper and two glasses for our included bottle of champagne. I think I got it all. So basically $1700 plus a friend as a photographer (I have a few friends into this but I may get another ''cheaper'' photographer just to be sure, no more than $1000) plus my dress, veil, shoes (about $900, and I got a SWEET dress), plus the entire Coastle Mist wedding set as well as wedding favours (servers, guestbook, ring pillow, glasses my own cake topper, etc and more, about $250). Our party gifts and attire we paid for, but it still puts us at about the $4000 mark. I bought silk flowers and did the arrangements myself for all bouquets, it wasn''t too much either. Bought the girls all a swarovski necklace and I made the matching earrings myself! Still has us at just under $5000, not too bad for a wedding!

Now, if you include the custom wedding bands, well, that''s a whole other story....haha!

We opted for the ''cheap'' wedding, which I think is going to turn out very nice for what we wanted....a nice short and simple beach wedding followed by a 4 night cruise party to the bahamas....and a party it will be....!

.....as long as we have fun, that''s all that matters

But yeah, I guess it can also make a difference in price if you are willing to do a lot of the designing and arranging yourself. I''m even bringing my own shells and deco to put on the standard two tier cake that comes with the cruise package. All the little things add up, and I guess now my creativity and bargin hunting has actually come in handy!!!!

 

[KimberlyH]

Date: 10/14/2007 1:39:07 PM
Author: UCLABelle
KimberlyH- How long was your reception for 28 people?

I am just having short dinner (5:30- (they offer two time slots, the other being 8:30-11). I could have rented out the whole place for the night at $4500 min food and beverage, but I think with our size, the time is okay....and I prefer not to spend that much...

The ceremony was from 7-7:20. We had 1 hour of cocktails outdoors immediately following, then dinner service (inside) began at 8:30 (my BIL had left to take my nephew to the babysitter and he took a while getting back, I didn''t want to eat without him). We had the room until 11 and everyone stayed until the end. We hired a guitarist/singer for the entire evening and I highly recommend doing something similar (we had no dancing, he was background music). I have his name if you''d like it, he will go from LA to SD. He was fantastic and really set the mood for the evening.

We had our wedding at a large resort, we rented out a private room and the lawn outside.

 

[Maisie]

We are in the UK too and ours is costing approximately $24k. But this includes everything, rings, dresses, suits, ceremony and reception, bridesmaids gifts, accomodation for us and 20 guests, photographer and travel expenses for everyone, cake, wedding car for me, flowers, make up for me.......

We chose to do it in London which is very expensive! If we did it where we live it would probably half the costs.

 

[StarSpun]

Date: 10/14/2007 5:17:05 PM
Author: SanDiegoLady

Date: 10/13/2007 8:32:56 PM

Author:UCLABelle

Hi!


So, I am working on my August 29th 2008 wedding. I booked the church (St. Catherines of Siena, Laguna Beach), and the reception location (French 75 Laguna Beach)....and already the cost is scaring me.


We are only having 30 people max, and I was hoping to keep it under $5,000---but it looks like it will be more like $10,000....


What is the average cost of a wedding in Southern California? And the US? Finally, how much did you spend or are spending?


Am I the only shocked at the cost of weddings?!?!?!

Belle.. I got married in San Diego August of last year.. we had 32 people attend (we paid for 35) the wedding and reception and everything in between including my dress ran less than 4k. I created my invitations and response cards, did my own flowers, I made my bm''s earrings (my gift to them), I made the guy''s boutonierres, I bought my center pieces at Sea World and made my guests take home gifts (I themed beach/water it was perfect). I was very careful about every penny spent.. it was perfect. Everyone who attended still raves about how wonderful and well put together everything was. It wasn''t easy, but it can be done!!

Wow, that sounds awesome! It really helps when you take a lot of it into your own hands. Do you have any pictures of your wedding? I would love to see! I also made earrings for my bridesmaids....do you have pictures of yours by any chance? I always like to see what people make

Three cheers for cheap but beautiful weddings!

 

[Pandora II]

Date: 10/14/2007 5:04:01 PM
Author: Maisie
We are in the UK too and ours is costing approximately $24k. But this includes everything, rings, dresses, suits, ceremony and reception, bridesmaids gifts, accomodation for us and 20 guests, photographer and travel expenses for everyone, cake, wedding car for me, flowers, make up for me.......

We chose to do it in London which is very expensive! If we did it where we live it would probably half the costs.

Wow Maisie, that is incredible - I don''t know how you''ve managed all of that for only $24k in central London.

Which venue did you go with in the end?

 

[StarSpun]

Date: 10/14/2007 7:46:25 PM
Author: SanDiegoLady

Date: 10/14/2007 5:46:37 PM

Author: StarSpun


Wow, that sounds awesome! It really helps when you take a lot of it into your own hands. Do you have any pictures of your wedding? I would love to see! I also made earrings for my bridesmaids....do you have pictures of yours by any chance? I always like to see what people make

Three cheers for cheap but beautiful weddings!

Here''s one post...




And another...


*koff* And yet another...


And our honeymoon spot...


I worked diligently for quite a while.. lol

Awesome! Wow, it sounds as though you had a lovely wedding, and looks that way too! Love those centerpieces....
I was going to do the invitations in a bottle, but ran out of time. Email and phone was the only way but I think I will do the thank you cards like this instead

Thank you for sharing!!


Cat

 

[Maisie]

Date: 10/14/2007 6:36:06 PM
Author: Pandora II

Date: 10/14/2007 5:04:01 PM
Author: Maisie
We are in the UK too and ours is costing approximately $24k. But this includes everything, rings, dresses, suits, ceremony and reception, bridesmaids gifts, accomodation for us and 20 guests, photographer and travel expenses for everyone, cake, wedding car for me, flowers, make up for me.......

We chose to do it in London which is very expensive! If we did it where we live it would probably half the costs.

Wow Maisie, that is incredible - I don''t know how you''ve managed all of that for only $24k in central London.

Which venue did you go with in the end?

We are going with The Dorchester. Its costing us approx £4000 for the reception there.

 

[diamondfan]

My wedding cost well over $50,000.00 17 plus years ago. I got married in Bel Air, in a very lovely hotel. I had about 180 people. This did not include my dress or our invitations, or any other event surrounding the wedding, my mom hosted a party the Friday night prior to our Sunday wedding, and did a brunch the morning of our wedding. She even hosted a dinner Thursday for those people who came to town early and for local friends and family. It was stressful and tough, and when my sister announced her engagement not long after, my mom basically said, here is a check and a ladder (so she could climb out the window to elope!). She could not take another wedding so soon after mine. But she kind of took over a lot of things about the day, and I was not happy. We agreed on enough to make it okay, our tastes are similar, we both like things to be done a certain way, so it meshed reasonably well, and I only pushed on things that really mattered to me, but still, it drained me and strained our relationship a bit. I do not regret my wedding, I got to be married at a place that I dreamt about being married at for as long as I could remember, after having seen a wedding there as a little girl. However, it was so expensive and caused so much stress that my hubby and I really did not enjoy it much in the long run. It caused major issues between his family and mine. We can laugh about it now (sort of) but really still can recall how nasty things got and how grateful we were to get on the plane to our honeymoon and leave it all behind us...it got so ugly I cried many times.

 

[musey]

Here's a neat little website: Wedding cost for LA, Long Beach and Santa Ana, CA.

They put the average spent for a wedding in our area at $33,700. I have no idea how dependable their survey methods are or how representative it is of the actual average, but interesting nonetheless.

--

I'd like to second all the DIY advice. We're going to try to do as much of that as we can, as well.

We're having our ceremony and reception at a ranch in Malibu Canyon, so I can relate to the sticker shock you're feeling, UCLABelle. Our event budget is at a little under $11,000 (this includes the ceremony & reception fees, all tables & chairs, buffet dinner, open bar, and valet parking for 85 guests). The "extras" (though essential to most) like flowers, photographer and cake will likely pull in at about $4,000.

We're gonna DIY invitations and centerpieces (not including them in the main "budget"--I'm taking it out of my general "shopping" budget) and my mother will be making my dress as well as the flower girls'. My MOH will likely make her dress as well. So all that stuff won't go into the final budget.

We started out with a budget of $20,000... and I really, really hope we'll get in around $16,000 when all is said and done. That allows for quite a bit of wiggle room and (hopefully) a lot left over. My father has very graciously offered this budget to us, and I'd really like to not use all of it (the little nagging voice in my head telling me to make him proud is responsible for that!).

 

[diamondfan]

Musey, are you getting married at Calamigos?

 

[musey]

Why yes, I am!

 

[UCLABelle]

Wow, all of these posts have been helpful. I want my wedding to be more of a small, intimate dinner party. I thought it would be about $2000....for the food and locations...but I was wrong (I guess I could have picked a cheaper place than French 75, but I love it there)...

Now, will 2 1/2 hours be enough time for cocktails for a half hour, a 5 course dinner and cake???? To get the whole night 5:30-11, I have to pay $4500.

 

[diamondfan]

Date: 10/15/2007 12:30:45 AM
Author: musey
Why yes, I am!

I know it well!!!

Have a great time, it is a wonderful spot...

 

[nytemist]

We invited roughly 40 people, I believe 33 were able to come to the wedding. Our budget was $5000 but it ended a hair over $7000. We wanted our to be small and casual and we cut out a lot of the usual things (didn''t use a church, didn''t use real flowers, had my dress made, etc.) but made sure the food was really good.

Also, if you can, the best cost cutting measure is to do your own music. We got a list of all the songs we wanted and gave them to a friend to put on her iPod. Then we simple used some great speakers that could connect to them and voila! - no $600+ to spend on a DJ.

 

[janinegirly]

wow, things are so much more expensive in the NYC area!

this raises a question of mine though..how do you calculate the total? are you just adding the basics (reception, limo, flowers, band, church, etc) or do you include every single wedding related expense (dress, rings, favors, trials)?

 

[musey]

Date: 10/15/2007 9:45:18 AM
Author: janinegirly
wow, things are so much more expensive in the NYC area!

this raises a question of mine though..how do you calculate the total? are you just adding the basics (reception, limo, flowers, band, church, etc) or do you include every single wedding related expense (dress, rings, favors, trials)?

Janine, I think it probably depends... my parents are paying for "the wedding," so I''m scouting out and fronting the money for the venue, food, photographer, florist, officiant, centerpieces... the basics. They''ll pay me/us back for those things.

Then FI and I are paying for the "extras"... anything not directly related to the actual event (my hair/makeup expenses, favors, rings).


At our venue it''s kinda easy... they charge a pp rate for the the entire event, which is $95. We sat down and calculated the other "rolled in" expenses (taxes, tip, valet charge, bar) and came up with a TOTAL pp value of $119.61. So to figure out the cost for any guest list number we just have to multiply that by how many RSVPs we get. We''re betting on an attendance of ~85 for a 108 invite list because most of the guests will be OOT... so that comes out to $10,166. I always round up just to allow for, well, whatever, so in my budgeting spreadsheet the current ceremony/reception value is $12,000.

HTH!

 

[janinegirly]

hi there,

i guess i''m more curious if people include all incidentals when calculating the total cost of a wedding.

for example, the bulk of the wedding costs are: reception (which includes all food/service/rooms), flowers, limo''s, band, church, invitations, photographe.
BUT if i add things like my dress, make up, accessories, wedding party gifts, our rings, honeymoon, favors, trials..hmm adds up to quite a bit! just curious if how others come up with their totals.