Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alternative

[ksinger]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

I did not want to post this in Karen's thread, but I've recently known what it feels like to lose someone unexpectedly. My aunt, my mother's sister and really my closest relative died suddenly, and because my sister disowned me years ago for getting married (long really stupid selfish story), I wasn't told about my aunt's passing because my sister wanted to go to the wake and funeral with my cousins. I just happened to find out three weeks after she passed when I stopped into the nursing home to see her on my way home from a doctor's appointment. To say I was shocked would be a bitter understatement. I felt absolutely sickened by her passing and the entire situation for days afterwards. I still haven't made my peace with it yet. It stinks! I wish everyone would treat others the way that they'd like to be treated themselves. Maybe then these selfish behaviors wouldn't happen.

Oh dear!! I'm so so sorry to hear of this for you! Far worse than my situation for certain. To find someone you loved has passed and you weren't told, that's just ghastly. It really is sickening when people are that unkind. At least she had you to visit her, and she knew you, and at that was a very kind thing for you do do. I know, not much to say to make you feel better, but...wow..... I hope you can get a handle on it without too much pain. Things like this can rock a person for far longer than we think, I know. I'll be thinking of you.


Certainly not "Karen's thread" but I will relay that my little "event" is now over, thank goodness. My husband is still putting Neosporin on the fingernail cuts in his palm when they smoothly managed to leave every mention of me (expect in passing in the list of "survivors") from the recounting of my father's life. But then I suppose it should have been expected, since HE left me out: why shouldn't everyone else? And I'm sure several people in the choir (facing us) got some good gossip material for later from watching the expressions chase across my face. Funerals are very frequently NOT about truth -ala, if the guy beat his kids every day, it would be recounted as "he was very involved with his children's lives".

It was fairly entertaining and odd though, when, after the service, several people almost sprinted up to meet me - it was like I was some sort of exotic animal or something. It's not easy being "the unwanted red-headed step-child". I can tell you one thing: I did NOT know the man they talked about so glowingly. Never met him.

Anyway, it's over, and as I told myself there, this is meaningless and has no real effect on my life. And it really was and IS true. I did my grieving and coming to grips years ago, so the funeral was just the final spasm of something that was about 99% gone already. I wish things could have been different, but I realize now, nearing 50, that it probably would not have played out any other way even if I had tried much harder.

 

[Upgradable]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Stopping in to say Hello to all of you wonderful women!

Sorry I've gone missing for so long, but I have been having both physical and emotional issues going on in and around me, and decided that in order to deal with them effectively I needed to circle the wagons and spend my energy on my real life family and friends. Unfortunately, that meant pretty much leaving the boards.

Things are slowly improving, I hope, and I'm seeing both doctors and counselors to help me out. My family is wonderful! And the close circle of friends I have here, along with my church, have been very supportive.

You may see me popping in here and there, and I'll give a shout out whenever I do. Be sure that I'm thinking about all of you!! Be happy and be safe. And as the old Irish blessing says....

May the road rise to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back,
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
May the rain fall soft upon your fields,
And until we meet again
May God hold you in the palm of His hand.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Uppy!!! I am sorry I haven't been on this thread much lately, either. I hope things will improve in your life and that you'll have more time to be on PS soon! (Do you have things listed on another site? I saw the name and wondered if it was you.)

(Just read back one page and wanted to extend my sympathy to both Karen and gemgirl. Both very sad situations.)

 

[Upgradable]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

DS, I do.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

I want some more detail on the transitionals...do you have diameters? Are they well matched, etc.?

(Well, duh, I see you listed that on the next details page! I wish I could see a close up of them!)

 

[Upgradable]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Can you message me over there? I can give you all the info you want. PS does not let us post this kind of info here.

Click on the item, then to the right of the pictures you can click on Contact Seller.

 

[risingsun]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

I hope that things improve for you, Uppy. I wondered what had happened to you. I miss you

 

[Upgradable]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Well, I guess I need to say this "out loud" somewhere, and here is probably the most comfortable/comforting.

I've been struggling with fibromyalgia for the last several years, which many of you know. But it has recently been complicated with some out of control menopausal symptoms that we've been trying to adress. But the biggie is that I have just been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder II. It pulls together a lot of loose ends since I was 18, but I'm having a really hard time with it emotionally. Then there is the fact that we're working on effectively medicating it, which is a long process.

That's the short version.

 

[junebug17]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Uppy, I'm sorry you're dealing with so many health issues right now, I'll be keeping you in my thoughts. The good news is you can now be treated for the symptoms you've been experiencing for so long. Please take care, and I hope you can find the right medication for you relatively quickly. (I know how long a process it can be).

 

[Lula]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Hi, Uppy -- Missed you! Sorry to year you're dealing with some significant health issues. But I'm glad you got a diagnosis and are working toward finding the right meds.

Have you seen this resouce: http://www.dbsalliance.org/site/PageServer?pagename=home

Lots of good support/education/training through this organization.

Best of luck to you -- this is a disease that can be managed well one you sort through all the information and find the right med for you.

I'm thinking of you and may PM you over at that "other place" about some of your "inventory" for projects I have in the works.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Uppy, I am so sorry to hear that! I have experienced some of the hormonal difficulties and I have a family member diagnosed bi-polar. So I really empathize with what you're going through! Hope you'll soon be feeling better and back here more often!

 

[Kaleigh]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Uppy,
Good to hear from you. I am sorry for all that you are dealing with... Hoping for better days ahead...

I haven't checked in here for ages.. I am still fighting the good fight. Brain surgery will be down the road. Taking medicine and trying to be positive. I have more good days than bad days, but the bad days really suck....

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Oh, Lisa, I am terribly sorry to hear you are still struggling! Did they ever get a correct diagnosis? Is surgery usually successful for the condition? I am so sorry. We do miss you around here.

 

[soocool]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

I can't believe I haven't popped in here in ages!

I do think of all you lovely ladies.

Mt father has been going downhill ever since his pulmonary embolism last year. He is in his 80s and I think he is just giving up. He still cries over losing my mother (it will be 4 years soon) and misses her very very much. We include him in everything and remind him that he will have a first great grandchild soon!

Speaking of new additions, my nephew and his wife are expecting their first in a few weeks. My sister threw her DIL the baby shower because her mother never did anything despite saying she was going to throw her a huge party when she first heard back in November that she was pregnant. My sister kept asking her when she was going to start planning it and she kept saying soon. Fast forward to Easter and she still had not done anything (Niece is due beginning of June). So my sister calledher and said that if it was ok with her she would like to help her with it. Well long story short, my sister did it all (with my help) and the mother just showed up and of course took credit, or should I say, did not say anything when everyone said what a great party both moms threw for my niece. My sister is one class act, because if it were me I would have put that woman in her place. I just hate to see what will happen once the baby arrives.

I am just trying to keep busy and not worry about everyone else so much. I need to do some shopping by myself for some serious mental health therapy. Yesterday I did buy a gorgeous Stone Mountain crossbody bag in primrose at TJ Max for $50.00. Saw the same handbag at Macy's on sale for $125.00. I forget what nice clothes they have at Ross, Marshalls, and TJ Max and need to spend a day to myself soon once this rain goes away.

 

[gemgirl]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Uppy,
Good to hear from you. I am sorry for all that you are dealing with... Hoping for better days ahead...

I haven't checked in here for ages.. I am still fighting the good fight. Brain surgery will be down the road. Taking medicine and trying to be positive. I have more good days than bad days, but the bad days really suck....

Lisa, I'm sorry you're still going through such a hard time with your neurological problem. I really had no idea because you haven't mentioned a word about it. I didn't know that brain surgery was in your future, but the one thing I DO know is- you are one strong and courageous woman and if anyone can face something like this intelligently and with dignity, it's you. You will remain in my daily prayers.

 

[gemgirl]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Well, I guess I need to say this "out loud" somewhere, and here is probably the most comfortable/comforting.

I've been struggling with fibromyalgia for the last several years, which many of you know. But it has recently been complicated with some out of control menopausal symptoms that we've been trying to adress. But the biggie is that I have just been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder II. It pulls together a lot of loose ends since I was 18, but I'm having a really hard time with it emotionally. Then there is the fact that we're working on effectively medicating it, which is a long process.

That's the short version.

Uppy, I feel so badly for you that you have so many serious things to deal with, all at one time! I suspected there had to be a reason that you were so quiet for so long. LOL! You will remain in my thoughts and prayers. Please don't disappear on us!!!! We're all routing for YOU!

 

[risingsun]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Uppy~ I'm so sorry I haven't responded to your post until now. I'm spending most of my time at the other place. Please know that BPII is very treatable. I hope that you are stabilized on your meds as soon as possible. I have been thinking about you and missing you. I will make it a point to visit this thread more often. How is your fibro these days?

 

[Upgradable]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Hi all. Thanks so much for all the well wishes! I'm starting on some new meds which seem to be working. I have much more energy and have been engaging in "life" lately. Only problem with that is that I've been spending money like it grows on trees! I have a followup with my psychiatrist on Wednesday. Hubby is going too so he can get a better handle on what is me and what is the disorder. Still being complicated by the fibromyalgia (which seems to be quite effectively under control. Yay!!) and some menopausal crap I'm going through. Sheesh, if it isn't one thing, its a dozen more!!!

I'm trying to be online more. I'll be sharing some blingy things soon. I love you all and think about you frequently. My love and prayers out to you all!!! ~uppy

 

[Arkteia]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

I feel bad for you, Uppy. But fibromyalgia (more often than not) goes hand in hand with depression/mood disorders so hopefully treatment of your mood will help your physical symptoms.

If your bipolar surfaced that late in life, after/during menopause, your prognosis should be good, and I sincerely wish that they find right medication for you. With minimal side effects.

 

[Upgradable]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

One month into treatment and feeling very good. No more days in bed, fibro is under control, and I'm hopeful. Thanks for all the advice and support. PS has been a blessing on so many levels.

 

[Gayletmom]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

So glad to hear it Uppy. I haven't been around much lately (just a busy summer) but wanted to pop in to tell you that I am thrilled that you are feeling good. Such a blessing!

 

[Upgradable]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Well, doctor appointment at 8:30 tomorrow morning. Do you suppose they schedule patients that early to see them at their worst, and then work from there? We'll see what the shrink thinks!

 

[Scorpioanne]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

As this is a thread about getting older I thought I'd officially say that I am definitely getting older, my son turned 30 (ack!) on Wednesday!

 

[makemepretty]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

I loved reading through this thread. I just turned 40 and wasn't scared to do so until last year, when my mom almost died. It hit me like a mack truck. It gave me an ulcer and I struggled to get back to "normal" and stop worrying. Then this year, on her birthday which was the anniversary of her being hospitalized last year, a big black cloud descended on me. She's not doing well and I don't think she'll be around much longer but much of it is due to her life choices. The thing is, I'm normally a very mellow, cheerful person. I get compared to a hippie most often. These feelings of mortality, my mothers, my own, my children are something so foreign to me. I've always been a more spiritual person than religious. Heaven sounds great to me but I really like it here! Can someone tell me, are these feelings normal?

My poor nerves and stomach! I thought I was having hot flashes but it was stress making me all flushed and causing my period to go wacky last year and here it is a year later and it's back. Any advice on how to cope?

 

[junebug17]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

I loved reading through this thread. I just turned 40 and wasn't scared to do so until last year, when my mom almost died. It hit me like a mack truck. It gave me an ulcer and I struggled to get back to "normal" and stop worrying. Then this year, on her birthday which was the anniversary of her being hospitalized last year, a big black cloud descended on me. She's not doing well and I don't think she'll be around much longer but much of it is due to her life choices. The thing is, I'm normally a very mellow, cheerful person. I get compared to a hippie most often. These feelings of mortality, my mothers, my own, my children are something so foreign to me. I've always been a more spiritual person than religious. Heaven sounds great to me but I really like it here! Can someone tell me, are these feelings normal?

My poor nerves and stomach! I thought I was having hot flashes but it was stress making me all flushed and causing my period to go wacky last year and here it is a year later and it's back. Any advice on how to cope?

I understand how you feel makemepretty. My mother had a stroke last year, and hasn't really come back from it very well. She lives with my brother and I spend four days a week with her. She can get around the house with a walker and do most things for herself, but she's really weak and frail and her mind has been affected a little. She just sits all day and knits. It's weird - she seems content and fairly comfortable, but in essence she's just really sitting around waiting to die. (I know, that's really morbid but that's how it seems to me). It's all just kind of depressing, and overwhelming, and causes me to think about what's in store for me down the road, and forces me to face my own mortality. When I was 20 I just thought I was going to live forever! Not the case now, at all.

I can relate to the worry and anxiety, as well. I'm so stressed out and anxious, mostly about some family drama going on, but because of the situation with my mother as well. I've been a "worrier" my whole life but it's gotten really bad. I get bad stomach pains and headaches from all the worrying, and I stress out over everything. When I wake up I feel like there's a heavy weight on my chest, and I just feel so depressed. I constantly remind myself that there are many people dealing with much worse situations than mine, and things could be much worse, and that helps sometimes. I'm also seriously considering going to counseling. I've been saying I'm going to for a while now, but something always comes up. But I think I'm definitely going to do it. I don't want to keep burdening my husband and the few friends I have with my issues - and they don't really know what to say to me anyway.

I also try to force myself to do something I like to do (even if I initially don't feel like doing it) - painting, reading, playing the piano (or trying to, I should say) or even just take a bath. Oh, and of course there's always PS! Just something fun and relaxing to distract me from the worry and anxiety for a little while.

I think how we're feeling is pretty normal, though. I'm a little older than you, but we're entering into a new phase of our lives where we're being forced to deal with things (like aging, ailing parents) that we've never had to face before. And that can bring on a whole new range of emotions. We're not really young, but we're not really old either - we're in a sort of transitional stage, I guess.

Hugs to you - hopefully knowing that you're not alone in how you feel has brought you a little comfort! Maybe we can check in with each other once in a while for moral support!

 

[makemepretty]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Thank you junebug, that does make me feel better. I keep saying I'm going to start doing some yoga classes. I bought the mat but haven't made it to a class yet.

 

[Matata]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

bone spurs
bunions
crepey skin

'nuf said.

 

[Skippy123]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Matata, this is just for you. sorry about the mini thread jack but look halfway down the page at my post
[URL='https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/ps-mommy-thread-newborn-to-12-months.115074/page-424']https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/ps-mommy-thread-newborn-to-12-months.115074/page-424[/URL]
sorry about the bone spurs, ouch!

 

[soocool]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

So, my friend's doctor yelled at her and told her that she needs to slim down and start exercising. Her cholestrol was extremely high. He gave her 3 months to make lifestyle changes or he will make her goes on meds. Ok, so the first person she calls is me." Help me get into shape!" she cries. So first I take her walking with me 3 times a day to start and forget it...she sucks at walking .She stops and talks with everyone or has to stop and start again. "It istoo hot outside to walk." Ok. I rethink this. I got it!

Got some Denise Austin low impact aerobics tapes and 3 times a week we ge together and do 20-30 minutes of low impact plus some upper and lower body exercises - threw in a couple of ab exercises in there too. We have been doing this for a month now. This she can do and we laugh throughout. We are not nearly as bad as when we started. So in one month's time she has lost 12 pounds, I lost 2 (and I wasn't trying to lose any weight). We both have more energy and I had plenty beforehand. But the greatest benefit she told me is that all her hot flashes have disappeared! For me, excitedly, I have never slept so well in years!!!

I have always been active, but have been riding my bike, or been walking outside or inside on my treadmill. The aerobics have made a huge difference. My butt is getting smaller ( my pants are looser) too! I am so happy I may go shopping and buy myself something!!

 

[Upgradable]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Good for you!! And what a great friend you are being! I happen to hate Denise Austin with a burning passion. Goes back to a pregnancy workout I had with her, and her damned cheeriness throughout made me want to pierce her freakin' face with a sharp object. But I think I'm going to have to look for a low impact workout. This way I don't have to "get dressed" and I can still get some exercise.
Thanks, SoCool. Maybe you've motivated another.