Getting out of depression

[yennyfire]

Hi FiZ, you've received some great advice, so I have nothing to add, except for ((HUGS)). I've been where you are and it's HARD and EXHAUSTING and OVERWHELMING. Allow yourself whatever feelings you have and reach out for help (as you've done here). We are here for you!

 

[Maria D]

It is from the Latin word statim (again, meaning immediately, urgently, etc.)

Oh, but of course, DahLeeng!
Every PS member has studied Latin.



My apologies for not knowing Latin.

Pet peeve ... assuming everyone shares YOUR specialized knowledge.
momhappy, my annoyance is not directed at you but at the OP.

You asked what the word meant. Momhappy answered with a definition. Not satisfied with that, you asked for the origins of the word because "when I introduce terms specific to my field I try to include a definition." Momhappy courteously obliged with that too. No one else said anything in the middle of that exchange.

And yet you felt the need to let everyone know that you are annoyed at the OP. Wow. You did this in the middle of a thread that the OP started during a difficult and fragile time. Only then were you called out for your (rude, in my opinion) behavior. Instead of offering an apology, you are wailing away about being picked on. Wow again. Please go find your crying baby .jpg and post it for yourself.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Fi Z - I'm so sorry you're going through this. I've dealt with serious depression myself. I know how frustrating and even frightening it can be. I'm glad you're getting help, and hope you and your doctors will soon find the right combination of treatments to let you re-emerge.

My experience is that anti-depressants vary, and different people can respond differently to the same medication. Add the fact that it takes time to ramp up and ramp down with most AD's, and it can become a bit of an ordeal to find the right med. But when you do find the one that works for you, it can make a world of difference!

I am a psychotherapist. Medication is a very difficult thing to get right. That is why I never have my patients see their PCP. You need to go to a psychiatrist. I think the right medication in combination with talk therapy is very effective. Losing interest in things you once enjoyed is a symptom of clinical depression. The cloud will lift.

In my health plan you have to start with the Primary Care Physician. When I first started dealing with depression, many years ago, the mental health services offered by my health plan were limited, very costly (this was before I could afford diamond jewelry ) and frankly not very good. I know my current health plan is a bit better about this. I hope access to good mental health professionals has gotten better under the ACA.

I make follow-up appointments for my patients (for after they discharge from my program). My patients have medicaid, medicare, and commercial policies. Most of the time I am able to set up an appointment without a PCP referral. Obviously work with the insurance and see a psychiatrist ASAP (or should I say STAT?). Too many of my patients have been hospitalized because their PCP mis-managed their meds. If all else fails, look into County resources.

 

[Circe]

My philosophy of dealing with depression - in conjunction with meds and talk therapy at this point! - is to fake it 'till you make it. I would drag myself to do the things that I enjoyed until eventually I found some iota of pleasure in it. It could take a while, but it would work.

You've gotten some good advice about other gongs to look into, from thyroid issues to diet and exercise, but there's one I haven't seen yet that might sound weird, but that I still hope will be worth tossing out there. You mention using an inhaler. Which kind?

I ask because steroid-based medications throw me into a zero-to-sixty depressive state, and a lot of asthma inhalers are steroid based. If you've recently switched medications, it might be worth checking out the alternatives with your GP.

 

[Calliecake]

Fi Z, I'm so sorry you are going thru this. Everyone has given you excellent advice. If you are talking to a professional and you don't click with her, please change. Sometimes it's just a matter of being on the right meds and talking to the right professional. But please don't feel like you need to stick it out with someone if it doesn't feel right. Do you mind me asking how old you are? Perimenopause can really wreck havoc on some women too. Hugs honey. Please know we are also here for you and you are not alone.

 

[kenny]

I didn't click with my first two therapists.
The third one was a charm.

IMO it's not about his/her competence.
It's about the relationship.

I'm no expert, but I have opinions.
IMO what happens in therapy happens in the context of the relationship.
As with every relationship you are not going to click with everyone.

I agree with the advice to find another therapist.

 

[Calliecake]

I agree Kenny. Finding the right therapist can really make all the difference.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

She has only seen the psychologist once and never said she felt uncomfortable. Unless I missed a post, give it a few session. The trust and rapport is the most important part of therapy, but I think one session might be too soon to make that judgement call.

ETA: especially because it is an "intake" session which is much different than a therapy session.

 

[tuffyluvr]

I'm sorry you're going through this. I've been there before, but my job and boss were what was making me miserable, so I was able to change that. I've dealt with more minor bouts of depression since and have discovered that one of my main triggers is not getting exercise. Personally, when I start getting into that rut of not wanting to get out of the house/get out of bed, I force myself to go out and get some fresh air. I usually feel better after a brisk walk. Then I try to get back into my regular routine as much as possible. It's difficult at first and I usually drag a$$ for a while, but once I get going I usually feel more energized.

I don't know if your GP or psychologist discussed with you, but many people are affected by seasonal depression, as Tacori E-ring mentioned... The short days and early darkness send some people into a deep depression. Many people with Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) see wonderful results from light therapy.

I'm not trying to tell you what to do, just making suggestions so please take this info with a grain of salt. Depression is very a personal experience, and what works for one may not work for another, but I really hope you are able to find some relief soon! Xoxo

 

[Lady_Disdain]

I also struggle with depression. I probably had my first bout with depression when I was quite young but it was never identified or treated. In my late twenties, I began therapy and, one day, I just completely broke down. My therapist asked me if I would see a psychiatrist and, when I said yes, recommended one, picked up the phone and got me an appointment that very same day. He also called me half an hour before the appointment to make sure I was on my way. I am forever grateful. By myself, I would never have looked up a name, made the call or dragged myself to the doctor's office.

Two months ago, I finally admitted to myself that I was going through another episode and that I needed help.

One phrase that stuck to me is from Andrew Solomon - "the opposite of depression isn't happiness, it's vitality." It perfectly captured my apathy and removal from the world. I am not unhappy. I just don't care. His TED talk really resonated in me.

Staying at home will spare you anxiety and stress, which is good, but it can also encourage too much nesting. Try to have some structure in your day - have a set time to rise, eat (I frequently skip meals or devour chocolate at odd hours), etc. I allow myself to stay in bed until 8am and a midday nap when I need it. I still can't imagine exercising so I try to fit in a long walk each day, as slow as I like but I go out in the fresh air, see the birds and get out of the house for a while, without needing to actually interact with people. I am doing some simple weaving - it is repetitive, not particularly challenging but it grows each day and keeps my mind busy, instead of obsessing over all my failures. Of course, there are days when all of this seems too much. I am still trying to find the right medication.

I really disliked traditional talk therapy. It was painful and pointless, I couldn't see results and felt I was going to be chained to that couch for years and years. I am now doing CBT and it fits my personality much better, since there are clear goals and focuses on developing a toolkit that will be useful for life. This series of lectures helped me understand how it works - http://www.audible.com/pd/Science-Technology/Cognitive-Behavioral-Therapy-Audiobook/B00ZB7Q1RS

 

[Mayk]

Finding a good therapist is a huge help. I had to see several after going through my divorce untill I found the one that fit me best. She helped my daughter too. I'm not sure we would be as mentally healthy without her. 10 years later my daughter still asks to see her when she stressed at school or with her father.

I'm a big believer in getting moving. Gym classes were helpful to me from cardio to yoga to strength training. To me it's a feeling of taking control and doing something for me. Taking that time is indulgent, an indulgence I deserve.

Meds are great but I've always heard it takes awhile to get the dose correct and then finding one that you are comfortable with any side effects.

Sounds like you are moving in the right direction. One day at a time, small steps can turn into small victories.

 

[Niel]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I have been in a similar situation myself and I would say it took about a year for me to get myself out of it.

I wish I could tell you I did something, but I think I just did the whole "ride it out" thing. This I don't recommend though.

Im glad you're seeing someone though.

 

[Ella]

Take the fight about word definitions elsewhere. It is not appropriate in someone's personal thread about their health.

 

[azstonie]

The book by Jim Phelps, MD. Its available in paperback at Amazon.

 

[december-fire]

The book by Jim Phelps, MD. Its available in paperback at <a title="Link added by VigLink" class="vglnk" href="http://www.amazon.com/blackfriday?ie=UTF8" target="_blank" rel="nofollow"><span>Amazon</span></a>.

Azstonie,

Would you mind posting the book title. The link just took me to an Amazon page with various items shown but no book.

Thanks

 

[monarch64]

This doesn't have to do with depression, necessarily, but coloring (yes, coloring in coloring books) has been used as a therapeutic method for all kinds of things, including anxiety. "Grown Up" coloring books are widely available now and I find them very helpful in dealing with anxiety, which I am told often goes hand-in-hand with depression.

I have 2 of these grown-up coloring books. One is "The Secret Garden" by Johanna Basford. She has a few out now and they are absolutely beautiful. Others are simpler and include mandalas and other geometric patterns.

Just wanted to drop this here in case it helps anyone--even those who might not suffer from either depression or anxiety. It is a stressful season, after all. We can all use every bit of help we can get, I'm sure.

 

[december-fire]

Fi_Z,

I'm sorry you're going through this. You've received good suggestions.

Try to be patient with yourself. If you can get yourself to do some activity, great. But if not, don't beat yourself up. This is not simply a matter of willpower and Nike's 'Just Do It' doesn't always apply. There are times you 'Just Can't'. You wouldn't tell someone with a broken leg to walk on it. Sometimes you need to adjust your normal routine for a while. Along those lines, although you haven't required medication in the past, if you need it now, take it. Would you tell a diabetic they shouldn't take insulin? Taking medication is not a sign of weakness. You didn't say it was, but some people aren't comfortable taking medications. Yes, I'm talking about myself.

As others mentioned, this is not a matter of one size fits all when it comes to medication. It can take time to determine what medications, in the right combination and dosages, work for you. You need to be on the medication(s) for a while before knowing if they're working. This isn't like taking a pill for a headache and expecting to feel fine within a couple of hours.

Talk to your doctor about concerns you have regarding side effects of medication, and any other concerns for that matter. Your doctor can explain risks/benefits, options, etc.

I suspect your doctor has run blood work to determine whether you've become anemic, etc. Sometimes there's more than one issue going on at a time.

You will get better.

Things won't always be like this.

Try to remind yourself of that, and try to focus on your health and not on the calendar. It will take as long as required.

Sending you warm and supportive wishes.

 

[december-fire]

This doesn't have to do with depression, necessarily, but coloring (yes, coloring in coloring books) has been used as a therapeutic method for all kinds of things, including anxiety. "Grown Up" coloring books are widely available now and I find them very helpful in dealing with anxiety, which I am told often goes hand-in-hand with depression.

I have 2 of these grown-up coloring books. One is "The Secret Garden" by Johanna Basford. She has a few out now and they are absolutely beautiful. Others are simpler and include mandalas and other geometric patterns.

Just wanted to drop this here in case it helps anyone--even those who might not suffer from either depression or anxiety. It is a stressful season, after all. We can all use every bit of help we can get, I'm sure.

Excellent suggestion, monarch64!

Grown up colouring books have become very popular and be found everywhere; Michael's, book stores, etc.!

I think the act of colouring helps distract an individual from stressful thoughts and can be calming. And, yes, depression and anxiety can be best buddies.

 

[cflutist]

This doesn't have to do with depression, necessarily, but coloring (yes, coloring in coloring books) has been used as a therapeutic method for all kinds of things, including anxiety. "Grown Up" coloring books are widely available now and I find them very helpful in dealing with anxiety, which I am told often goes hand-in-hand with depression.

I have 2 of these grown-up coloring books. One is "The Secret Garden" by Johanna Basford. She has a few out now and they are absolutely beautiful. Others are simpler and include mandalas and other geometric patterns.

Just wanted to drop this here in case it helps anyone--even those who might not suffer from either depression or anxiety. It is a stressful season, after all. We can all use every bit of help we can get, I'm sure.

Excellent suggestion, monarch64!

Grown up colouring books have become very popular and be found everywhere; Michael's, book stores, etc.!

I think the act of colouring helps distract an individual from stressful thoughts and can be calming. And, yes, depression and anxiety can be best buddies.

Excellent suggestion from both you.
I have found that coloring does relax me.

OP, sorry you are going through this, but the PS community has given great advice and support to you.

I too am going through depression.

Seems that after my craniotomy and neurosurgery to remove a brain tumor earlier this year, I have been crying at the slightest things, sometimes multiple times a day. On Friday, I cried while they were taking my blood pressure at the doctor's office because I didn't like the numbers. Then I also broke down and cried during my office visit with my GP. So she started me on Zoloft but it is too soon to see if it works. I am also taking another anti-depressant (Nortriptyline) for my nerve pain on my scalp. Both meds should help with my serotonin levels. My neurosurgeon said that it is common to have depression after brain surgery.

Good luck to you and hope you get the help you need.

 

[packrat]

I am sorry you are dealing with this. I don't know that I have any other suggestions, really, so I will just talk a bit.

What about yoga? I have fallen away from it for a few years but when I was practicing on a daily basis, it helped chase away some of the..monsters in my mind I guess. It was hard, but soothing and relaxing, and made me happy and proud of myself to work at a position and start to get it. It occupied my mind so that during the time I practiced, I had to concentrate on what I was doing and my mind couldn't stray to places that made me sad. Starting my practice again is in my plan..but you know..that first step toward something that I know will help me is the hardest. Something to try maybe, for you?

I started Tae Kwon Do in July. That has helped. It is a practice like yoga for me, that is difficult, it gets my mind working, and it makes me feel good to "get" my form or a technique. It is a class with other people, but my kids are in it, and there are a few other adults..they are supportive and it is nice. Empowering.

I like Monnie's suggestion of coloring. I used to have "mommy's" coloring books and crayons in the cabinet and the kids weren't allowed to touch them. I liked the Precious Moments ones w/the big pictures of sweet kids and animals. But I've been looking at the adult ones, and they look interesting so might give them a go.

I, too, put on a brave face, and people would not know that when I am home alone I cry, or know that when I look at myself I feel revulsion. I still smile and joke and laugh, and the rare occasions anyone does happen to catch a glimpse, I'm adept at covering it and it's swept away.

I used to work for a psychiatrist and I know that as has been mentioned before, there's no one size fits all medicine, or dosage, and a med needs a couple weeks to get into your system to see if it's going to work for you. I saw a counselor when I was younger and did not like the experience, did not click w/her, did not like her way of things. When I started working for the psychiatrist, I never saw him as a patient, but I clicked w/him as an employee and would have felt comfortable with him, so I would agree also w/those who said to try a different one if you're not feeling the one you're currently seeing.

After I had Trapper, I'm pretty sure I had post partum issues and went to one of the nurse practitioners in the medical practice where I was working. She took me off work for a few days and we talked about diet/exercise/sleep, etc., and told me that if I wanted, she would refer me to someone, rather than prescribing something for me. I would not be comfortable getting medicine for it from someone who wasn't specifically in that profession.

I hope you can find what works for you.

 

[Sky56]

Everybody is different and their depression also. Not depressed now, but suffered terribly from it 40 years ago.

My main symptoms were:

1. Wanting to sleep almost all the time
2. Feeling that I made so many mistakes that hope for a good future was non-existent
3. Loss of interest in most of the things that used to interest me.

What helped me recover was time, and certain actions. They were: serious attempts to understand myself (talk therapy with a therapist and self-help books)

Realizing that my suffering from PTSD could be helped a lot by trying to eliminate negative self-talk and replacing with thoughts of gratitude (ending negative ways of thinking)

Ending drinking, smoking, addictive use of drugs

Realizing being single, alone and living in very big cities was killing my spirit.

Improving diet and taking supplements

So, a geographic move was helpful, and so with the lucky circumstance of meeting my husband in the 1980's. I never took anti-depressants. I am listing these in case some of it could help you or others battle depression.

 

[Sky56]

packrat's suggestion of yoga is very helpful.

yoga has helped many people I know - gaining strength, relaxation, soothed muscles, a more peaceful mind.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

This doesn't have to do with depression, necessarily, but coloring (yes, coloring in coloring books) has been used as a therapeutic method for all kinds of things, including anxiety. "Grown Up" coloring books are widely available now and I find them very helpful in dealing with anxiety, which I am told often goes hand-in-hand with depression.

I have 2 of these grown-up coloring books. One is "The Secret Garden" by Johanna Basford. She has a few out now and they are absolutely beautiful. Others are simpler and include mandalas and other geometric patterns.

Just wanted to drop this here in case it helps anyone--even those who might not suffer from either depression or anxiety. It is a stressful season, after all. We can all use every bit of help we can get, I'm sure.

Monnie...my patients LOVE coloring. I agree, it is very relaxing. The new ones they have are really cool too. I just got one for T from Marshall's.

 

[Sky56]

Johanna Basford! Her work is amazing! I only saw it for the first time in 2014 when a friend told me about her coloring books. Maybe she is more famous in the UK though she is known in the US...Just looking at her intricate designs in black and white brings me joy.

 

[autumngems]

Fi Z,

I too suffer from depression and this time of year is even harder for me. I am glad you did get meds, they will help, and sometimes it takes a bit of time to adjust. I have been on them since 1993.
I also suggest you get outside and get a bit active, I know it sounds hard right now but you will feel better.
Make sure you are getting a good night's sleep and eating well, those are two important tools to getting through this.

You are not alone and it does get better.

 

[OreoRosies86]

FiZ I am sorry you were not treated with kindness and consideration at the start of this thread. Come back and tell us how you're doing!

 

[lulu]

FiZ, how are you?

 

[azstonie]

The book by Jim Phelps, MD. Its available in paperback at <a title="Link added by VigLink" class="vglnk" href="http://www.amazon.com/blackfriday?ie=UTF8" target="_blank" rel="nofollow"><span>Amazon</span></a>.

Azstonie,

Would you mind posting the book title. The link just took me to an Amazon page with various items shown but no book.

Thanks

Sorry I was away so long. Background: I worked at Mayo, got to know the psychiatrists/psychologists there and the reference materials they went to for patients. This book by Jim Phelps saved my life at a very bad time (very depressed, not bipolar not that there is anything 'wrong' with bipolar). Please do not be dissuaded by its title (Why Am I Still Depressed: Recognizing and Managing the Ups and Downs of Bipolar II and Soft Bipolar Disorder). Bipolar is a mood spectrum disorder---on the mood spectrum is voila depression and this book has the very best material regarding depression I've seen. This book is really not about "bipolar" but it is about the mood spectrum, how much help you can generate on your own, how much help you may seek or expect from psychiatrists/psychologists, ***and most importantly***** it has the most correct science driven and decades-of-practice-with-actual-patients-driven perspective on medication. For instance, take antidepressants very, very carefully---they can actually bring on a bipolar state and once that happens you will not be able to change that brain chemistry, you will have to learn how to cope with it or take additional meds to regulate it. In my case, as I was not suicidal I did not take antidepressants but used other strategies found in the book and was able to climb out of the depression and did not have a bipolar condition to deal with afterward.

Whoever gave this book its title should be given 50 lashes with the wet noodle, it is a terrible disservice to the book and to people who will benefit from it.

http://www.amazon.com/Depressed-Recognizing-Managing-Bipolar-Disorder-ebook/dp/B0041OT92Q/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1450136932&sr=1-1&keywords=jim+phelps

DISCLAIMER: I'm not telling anyone here who has benefitted from use of antidepressants that they are wrong, that their doctor is wrong, or any such thing. The use of them is a risk management decision. I made my own risk management decision regarding them but I had the most current information from an expert about them. This book will give other people the ability to make the right risk management decision for themselves.

 

[fiona00004]

Wow, really appreciate everyone's input.

Sorry for using STAT. I didn't realise that it was a very specific term.

It took until now to try coming back to this thread. I have yet to read everyone's comments but I really appreciate it. I don't know why; I find it so hard to talk about it with anyone... and to get out to do things takes me a whole lot of deep breathing. exercise, going out, shopping, being with people....ar things I avoid right now. I just find life just too stimulating....it's so weird. Plus the dizziness and back pain...but I guess those things are related to how I am feeling. i see my doctor again tomorrow. If I have to return to work, I think I will pass out. Just these past couple of days leading up to my appointment with her are stressing me out...

But yeah, thanks everyone. I am going to try and read the comments when I have a good chunks of time between sleeping, eating, visitng my phych, doctor or oesteopath and caring for the kids....it just doesn't stop!!

 

[azstonie]

http://psycheducation.org/

Forgot to add this from Jim Phelps' website.

I also forgot to encourage you---I have had two depressions in my life and both times I went on to be happy and fulfilled in life. It took some work and the one thing that seemed to lift me out the most was HARD exercise once if not twice daily and good sleep. That and frankly throwing in the towel on perfectionism, I reduced caring what anyone else thought of me, and I put boundaries in place where they were needed.

You're going to get well.