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Grad Student - Completely Lost

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totally_lost

Rough_Rock
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I know there are a lot of posts for people who don''t know what they''re doing, but it seems like there are a lot of people on this site that know and lot and are nice enough to respond quickly so I thought I''d try. I''ve been learning some of the basic ring terminology, etc. for a while now, but had some specific questions.

I''m a graduate student in the midwest and am half way through my program and am starting an engagement ring search. I don''t know what a reasonable amount to spend is and what a reasonable size ring would be for my girlfriend. I make about 1.5k a month and have about 10k to my name. My girlfriend''s fingers are pretty small (size 4.5).

How much should I reasonably spend/how large of a ring would you recommend for her hand? I don''t have a lot to work with, but I really want to do this right. Thank you very much in advance for any advice you might have.
 
Weelllll... how much you spend is up to you! Most of us here would recommend that you only spend what you can comfortably afford using cash, no credit. Do you want to spend all your savings or keep some back? Does your gf have a preference? What size diamonds do her friends and family wear? does she like flashy jewelry or is she more modest?
 
Alright, here''s some advice from someone who knows probably less about engagement rings than you do, but I did just get out of grad school and I am proposing in a few weeks, so maybe we have something in common. I would set an upper limit of $2000, then use the tools you learn in here to get the most for your money.

My advice is also to visit an actual store to look at sizes of stone (ct). That will help you to decide what would look big enough on your lady''s finger to make both of you happy.

Good luck my friend!
 
Wow, thank you. Two responses in 10 minutes...this site is awesome. I guess by "how much should I spend" and "how big?" I was mostly just wondering what was "normal" for someone in this situation. I would prefer to not spend all of my savings so that my girlfriend and I can eat and do other things like that. How much is responsible/"expected", etc? (I realize this is probably more of a financial question than an engagement ring question.)

She mentioned once that her dad proposed to her mom with a "fake" ring and then they picked out the real one together. It seemed like she would rather be surprised than take this approach herself. As it turns out, none of my guy friends and none of her girlfriends have gotten engaged so I don''t have much to go on there, unfortunately.
 
Spend what you can afford. Put it in a temporary settiing, as you said her dad did and let her pick the setting of her dreams. I think that''s sooo romantic. But as the the question, buy what is within your means.... Simple as that!!

Best of luck!!! Let us know how it goes, and if you need any help in the mean time, please let us know....
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Well, there are no set rules for what you should spend, so pick a value that seems fiscally responsible to you, yet allows you to get her something that feels good to give!

For perspective, for around 2k you can get around .5ct to .70ct, for around 4k-5k you can get up just under a carat, and if you go over 5k to about 8k you can get over the carat mark. It is all up to you and what you think makes sense! There are no rules.

Many Ps vendors have upgrade policies too, which is nice if you think that you might want to get a larger diamond in the future when finances change.

If you pick a budget then we can help you find something great!

PS: What are you studying? I got my PhD in 07 and am a prof now, so I recall grad school and tight budgets very well.
 
I think what''s normal in your situation is what you''re comfortable spending. I don''t know her situation, but with $10K to your name it''s probably most important to maintain enough to start a life together and not to deplete your savings. I think $2,000 is probably a reasonable amount to spend, though I''m tempted to suggest less unless you plan on saving up for awhile.
 
dreamer-That''s great! I''m working toward a PhD in aerospace engineering.

I think I would be comfortable (relatively speaking) spending somewhere in the $2,000 range. Does not following the 2-month salary rule make me a cheapskate? I definitely don''t want to do that.

We haven''t straight-up discussed what she likes, but it''s come up in passing that she likes square cut diamonds and is a fan of white gold.

Thank you
 
no, it doesn''t make you a cheapskate. You will be getting better value by shopping online anyways, so what you get will look like a million bucks. OK, maybe not a million, but at least $3k!


Square shapes eh? Well that would mean either a princess or a square H&A. I like RBs best because you get a bigger looking diamond for your money and because they perform better optically. But get the lady what she wants. I''d suggest spending only about $250 on a lovely, simple wg solitaire and putting the rest into the stone. You can get a different setting later if she wants!

With the bankwire price this is *juust* over budget (but its a corker!):
http://www.goodoldgold.com/diamond/6955/

Request an ASET image of these ones if you like them:
http://www.jamesallen.com/diamonds/H-SI1-Ideal-Cut-Princess-Diamond-1272570.asp
http://www.jamesallen.com/diamonds/H-VS2-Ideal-Cut-Princess-Diamond-1188369.asp
 
Thanks a lot, Dreamer. The diamond in that first link you sent me looks really nice. I don''t know if her heart is totally set on a square cut. She just mentioned something about it once. She''s really easy-going so I should probably explore other options, too.

Is there a good way to tell how a 0.75 ct diamond will look on a size 4 1/2 finger? Does this seem like a reasonable combination?

Thanks
 
This chart is for round.
skinny.jpg


For a 0.75c on a 4.5 size finger, the diameter of the stone will be about 39% of the finger width.
 
Don''t remember if there are ring sizes but I found this thread in SHOW ME THE RING: https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/under-1ct-diamonds.25028/
 
Welcome totally-lost!

I ditto the ladies above, spend what you are comfortable with. If you think your fiancee might want to get a larger diamond one day then work with a vendor that provides an upgrade policy, that way should you decide to get a larger stone in time then you can trade in the original towards the cost.
 
you''ve got great advice here and will find a fantastic ring.

One thing though, if she likes sqaure cut diamonds you may want to find out if she likes step cut diamonds (like asschers), old fashions chunky diamonds (like cushions) or brilliant sqaures (like the one dreamer suggested).

There''s a big difference
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Good luck, can''t wait to see what you get!!!
 
Hi Totally Lost
One thing I can add is about the 2 months salary advice, which comes from DeBeers.
DeBeers hired an American advertising agency in 1938, N.W. Ayer & Son known for Morton Salts "When it Rains, it Pours" among others.
The advertising campaign initially suggested 1 month''s salary to answer the question of how much to spend. I don''t know when it was raised to 2 months (Quick, I bet).
You have a lot of good advice here, hopefully you can post what you decide on your new ring.
 
Hi,

If you''re in school and really needing to keep your savings, I''d make $2K the UPPER end of the amount. What about more like $1,700. You can get a stone around .4-.5 for that amount and put it in a simple setting.

There are always options down the road like: either upgrading the stone, or putting the stone in a pendant mounting for an anniversary and purchasing a larger eng. ring.
 
I think .5ct would look lovely on her finger, and you could afford a good stone in a classic setting for $1700 - $2000. I would definitely make sure you''ve got enough in savings after you buy the ring in case any emergencies crop up - financial security is way more important than jewelry, no matter how significant the piece is! You''ll be able to get something really beautiful from a PS vendor in that budget, I promise.
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When I got engaged, my husband was in grad school with no savings and made less than 15k a year. My diamond was .41 carats and my ring size is size 4. You bet I ooohed and ahhhed over that RB and showed it around to everyone I knew. And I would just stare at it and not believe that it was actually on MY finger. Size might matter to some, but to me just having a diamond ring from the man I loved was enough of a swoon factor. I bet your lady would feel the same way.

It is only after 15 years that I am now upgrading, but that is primarily because my original ring was stolen.

I know the great advisors here can help you choose a truly brilliant (pun intended) diamond. Good luck!
 
Roxie (and everyone else) - Thank you for the encouragement. After school tonight I dropped by a couple jewelry stores in the mall just to take a closer look at get a better idea of what certain sizes/cuts actually look like. The lady at the store has skinny fingers like my girlfriend and was nice enough to try a couple rings on so I could see the relative sizes.

I think .5 ct would be good, but the .75 ct princess cut that Dreamer posted earlier looks really nice, too. The ladies at the store were not so subtly trying to get me to buy a .79 ct loose round diamond (F-SI1) for $3600 which was looked really nice, but is several hairs above what would probably be responsible for me to spend.

The only reason I have been looking at square cuts so far is that my girlfriend once mentioned in passing that when her and her girlfriends would pick out rings when they were little that was what she picked (this was when we first started dating and wasn''t part of a "wedding talk" or anything like that). After seeing some rings in person tonight, I think I''m partial to the round cuts just based on how much they sparkle. I don''t know what to do...
 
Well, I prefer a round myself. Given the context of the story I don''t think it is a strong preference on her part. What is your timeline for proposing? I did a search at my favourite PS vendors who have upgrade policy''s just in case one day you want to take advantage of it.

Here is what you could get though in an RB. All of these are super ideal cuts from great vendors:

This is my favourite! http://www.whiteflash.com/round_ideal_cut/round-ideal-cut-cut-diamond-17677.htm#

These are nice too:
http://www.highperformancediamonds.com/index.php?page=view-id-diamond-infinity&id=650
http://www.whiteflash.com/hearts_arrows/whiteflash-aca-cut-diamond-2183234.htm


This is pushing it, and I don''t want you to do that, but here it is anyways (check is eye clean):
http://www.goodoldgold.com/diamond/6756/
 
haha...I was just in the process of posting that last "pushing it" link to see what people thought. I like that one a lot and would be willing to spend that much if it was a good value. I''m not any real time table. I''m hoping to talk to her dad sometime relatively soon if my girlfriend leaves town for the weekend (her hometown is a ways away).

Thanks, I''ve learned a ton since setting up my account 22 hours ago
 
Date: 2/1/2010 10:12:19 PM
Author: dreamer_dachsie

Here is what you could get though in an RB. All of these are super ideal cuts from great vendors:


This is my favourite! http://www.whiteflash.com/round_ideal_cut/round-ideal-cut-cut-diamond-17677.htm#


These are nice too:

http://www.highperformancediamonds.com/index.php?page=view-id-diamond-infinity&id=650

http://www.whiteflash.com/hearts_arrows/whiteflash-aca-cut-diamond-2183234.htm
Click to expand...
These are lovely choices. I agree that you should stick with round. It is classic, faces up larger and shows less color. Keep to a budget and don't be tempted to spend more than you can comfortably afford today.
 
I love the WF H that Dreamer posted - it''s a lovely diamond, and I think it''ll look great on your GF''s finger! As everyone else has said, I think it''s great that you''re learning more about diamonds and spending only what you feel comfortable spending. And I definitely ditto putting it into a simple, cheaper setting for now. Good luck!
 
Hi again. I agree that a RB will have the best appearance... but if your GF purposely dropped a hint that she likes squares and you got her a round instead, you might not get the reaction you are hoping for.

My thought, after talking to her dad... talk to her mom. See if she can take her daughter shopping some time and then "casually window shop" at a jewelry store in the mall. Let her mom tell you what type she seems drawn to. Of course, you run the risk of her falling for a 3 ct. stone, but most girls have diamond eyes bigger than what they realistically expect to wear themselves. Or if she can get that out of her in a casual conversation. Does your gf have any friend that recently got engaged? Maybe her mom could ask about her friend, wedding plans, "what the ring looks like" and can casually add what kind of ring would she hope to get some day?

Otherwise, RB are a gorgeous choice, and do offer good face up coverage. Keep us posted with what you decide.
 
I think I''m starting to get a better handle on this. Thanks for all the help so far. I think I''m shooting for the $2000 range but would go a little over if it was a good value. I might have to go a little over because I think I''d like to shoot for around .75 ct (ideally). I feel a little badly that I don''t have the finances to do this the way I''d like to, but with at least a few years of school left that''s not happening anytime soon.

I think I''m in somewhat of a holding pattern until I get the princess vs. round question answer so I think it''s time for some reconnaissance work. Unfortunately, she probably won''t shop with her mom for quite a while and none of her girlfriends are engaged yet so I might have to get creative...
 
Date: 2/2/2010 8:52:41 AM
Author: totally_lost
I think I''m starting to get a better handle on this. Thanks for all the help so far. I think I''m shooting for the $2000 range but would go a little over if it was a good value. I might have to go a little over because I think I''d like to shoot for around .75 ct (ideally). I feel a little badly that I don''t have the finances to do this the way I''d like to, but with at least a few years of school left that''s not happening anytime soon.

I think I''m in somewhat of a holding pattern until I get the princess vs. round question answer so I think it''s time for some reconnaissance work. Unfortunately, she probably won''t shop with her mom for quite a while and none of her girlfriends are engaged yet so I might have to get creative...
Click to expand...
Thats fine, we are here ready to help when you need us.
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for your budget, i would stick with RB to give you the most choice. Also, i please buy online if you can, aim for "eyeclean" SI1 and over 0.5ct if you can. Pick a simple platinum tiffany style setting and bob''s your uncle.

We PSers are not the norm, we are all into diamonds, blings, stones and jewellery BIG TIME.

As a young student, I would have been over the moon to get something like i''ve described, but my tastes have (unfortunately for my pocket) have evolved greatly since then.

Bottom line: you are a student, you need your money for more important things, your girl wont thank you for getting into debt, she''ll have no other rings to compare to as her friends aren''t engaged yet and she will be so thrilled at being engaged that she''ll love whatever you get. There will be time and opportunity aplenty later on to get bigger rocks.

Trust me, you''re onto a winner!
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Date: 2/1/2010 10:12:19 PM
Author: dreamer_dachsie
This is pushing it, and I don''t want you to do that, but here it is anyways (check is eye clean):
http://www.goodoldgold.com/diamond/6756/
Click to expand...
Ooh, I love that one!

I would get her a round because they face up MUCH bigger than a square cut of the same carat weight. If you got a .75 princess cut for instance, it would really only face up like a .45 - .50 round or so. So for max size at your budget, a round (or oval) is your best bet.
 
I think this one is my current favorite (thanks for everyone''s help) but I still need to try and trick my girlfriend into weighing in on her preference again to be sure (I''m contemplating using an engaged co-worker as bait):

http://www.goodoldgold.com/diamond/6756/

I had a couple quick questions. How far down the color scale would you recommend going before a yellow color is noticeable? Also, is SI2 reasonable safe or could there be noticeable inclusions? Can the people from that website tell me if it''s eye clean or do I have to order it and send it back if I can see inclusions? There were some pretty obvious inclusions in some rings I looked at at the mall last night, but those might have be I, not SI. It''s kind of an overwhelming blur at this point.

Lastly, I''m a little scared about buying online, but it seems like that is the norm on this site. Should I be worried about buying this without ever seeing it in person or am I just being paranoid?

Thanks again
 
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